In everyone's usual cognition, is the wife the head of the family for granted? For example, the palace fighting dramas we usually watch.
Although the film and television image of the empress is generally not the winner who laughs last, she will definitely be the emperor's wife, the leader among the concubines, and the seal in charge of the harem. And all the concubines, even if they dislike the queen in their hearts, will be respectful to her on the surface.
The queen wants to be dignified in the world, but the ordinary people in the TV series are going to be fierce to the end. Most of the family composition inside is the arrogant and unreasonable main room and my family's weak and beautiful concubine. And this has gradually become the standard for ancient family ethics dramas.
But while the TV series has become everyone's "dinner drama", have you ever thought about it: Is the relationship between wives and concubines in ancient times really like this? Is the living environment of the concubine room very harsh? Do they really need to be proficient in Qinqi books and paintings?
Now let's take the real historical background of the Tang and Song Dynasties as the starting point to deeply experience and understand. The real Tang and Song Dynasty society, the status of concubines in the family!
The strength of the Tang Dynasty and the prosperity of the Song Dynasty
When it comes to the Tang Dynasty, thousands of classic poems will appear in front of your eyes like a horse lantern.
There will definitely be many people's minds of Li Bai, a poet immortal who is not crazy and not a demon, and Bai Juyi, who wrote about human suffering in a "Long Hate Song". But there is also a poet, who can be described as a decathlon, who is called "a painting in poetry, a poem in a painting".
He is Wang Wei. One of his songs, "The Early Dynasty of the Daming Palace with the Jasher People": "Nine days open the palace, and all nations are clothed and crowned." ”
It can be said that it vividly shows the strength of the Tang Dynasty. It seems that the magnificent and majestic historical scene of the coming of all nations is really displayed in front of each of us.
Although the Song Dynasty's foreign military capabilities were not as strong as those of the powerful Tang Dynasty, the Tang Dynasty's taxation and other systems were quite mature. So the economy reached its peak at one point during the Song Dynasty.
And the prosperity of the country will certainly be accompanied by the development of culture.
The open and inclusive social atmosphere of the Tang and Song Dynasties and the colorful and colorful costumes not only provided women at that time with relatively much freedom under the constraints of etiquette and religion, but also left a strong mark on the yellowed history books of the mainland.
As the status of women increases, family relationships will certainly not be as rigid as in past dynasties. Not only will it not be like what we see in the TV series, the right wife will not hit and scold the concubine, but even some "talented" concubine rooms can overwhelm the edge of the right wife.
What kind of cards are they proud of? How did they step by step replace the position of the right wife in the husband's heart? The mystery is about to be solved.
One of the hole cards: youth and beauty
There is a saying that can be said to be the most vivid interpretation of the reason why this concubine room is favored, that is: heroes are sad and beautiful.
In the four famous works "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", the dedication of the mink cicada not only caused Lü Bu to lose his life, but also left a "beauty plan" that was quite talked about for posterity.
From this story, we can see that not only do we modern men like beautiful women and find them delicious; Ancient men also cherished and loved beautiful women more.
If our new era of migrant workers constantly worked hard to buy a house of their own, then the ancient men's involution was to buy a beautiful concubine from an intermediary.
As for the identity of a beautiful concubine, she can be a good concubine, an innocent woman from a small family, or even a prostitute. None of this matters, what matters is to be beautiful enough.
But in addition to beauty, being young is just as important. Because as the saying goes: men always like eighteen-year-old girls regardless of age.
If a concubine already has two quite proud capitals of beauty and youth, then first of all, congratulations to her: she has successfully completed the first step in attacking her husband, and can unlock the temporary favor from her husband.
Why is it temporary? In fact, the reason is very simple, people are chasing novelty, and eternal love is difficult to exist.
If she wants to completely consolidate her position in the family, then she must have another most important hole card.
Hole card two: can be fertile
In the social cognition of the ancients, there are three unfilial piety, and no descendant is great. Their sense of family is very heavy. But their family composition is not only to have two husband and wife, but more importantly, regardless of whether there is a royal throne to inherit in the family, if they do not give birth to a son, they have not completed their marriage mission.
The consequences of not giving birth to a son are already so serious, not to mention those wives who are not fertile?
Therefore, in order to have descendants to inherit the family property and continue the heirs, it became the most justified reason for men in ancient times to take concubines.
The wife will not only not stop it, but on the contrary, she will think that "taking a concubine" is to keep the incense of the husband's family and the glory of the family.
Therefore, the status of the concubine room will be promoted in the whole family. After all, if you want to concentrate on preparing for pregnancy, not only should you pay attention to physical conditioning and health, but also psychological happiness and peace is very important.
Being able to extend the heirs for the husband's family has also become the second trump card and the most important one for a concubine who can "successfully ascend to the throne".
If she is a concubine, she has both a proud posture and can make her husband prosper. It is very likely that she will have a much higher status than a wife, both in the family and in the hearts of men.
This is also human nature. After all, even now, if there is a woman whose appearance is comparable to a star is willing to bear a child for herself, how many people will remember the wife at home?
But neither the Tang and Song dynasties could stand idly by and watch such a social phenomenon.
In order to protect the status of the right wife, but also for the stability and well-being of the country, the supreme ruling class took action.
Wife-concubine relationship? The letter of the law!
In the Tang Dynasty, there was a law that clearly stipulated that the status of a wife was higher than that of a concubine, and the two could not be offside. In the Song Dynasty's law "Song Penal System", it is more clearly recorded: "Concubines are irregular family members".
Ten miles of red makeup, eight large sedans. This is the scene when the wife is married. Concubinage is expressly prohibited by law even if you work hard for it all your life.
At the same time, only when the right wife is married, she has the property that marries into the husband's family, and the concubine does not have and cannot have it.
In this way, in family relationships, there is an inexplicable balance that binds everyone together. That is, only the wife and the husband are part of a marital relationship, and the concubine room is not only not a wife, but more like a commodity purchased through trading.
If the concubines of the Tang Dynasty did not take this buying and selling relationship as a firm fact, then in the Song Dynasty, they simply promulgated legal provisions to sit on the status of concubines in the family.
All the process of buying and selling concubines must pass through an intermediary, the "tooth", and make a contract to make the purchase, which is legal.
Without a doubt, this is a fairly clever double-edged sword. The act of "establishing a deed" firstly protects the concubine's own interests and safety and prevents illegal forced trading.
Er also took root in the concubine's heart like a needle, reminding her of her identity as a concubine at all times. It consolidates the fact that the wife is in charge of the housekeeping, and at the same time reminds the husband of the status and difference between the right wife and the concubine.
In addition to the knocking and reminder of identity, the laws of the Tang and Song dynasties also considered in detail the possibility that concubines would threaten family harmony once they gave birth.
According to the law, even if a concubine gives birth to a child, she is not the primary supporter of her own child.
So who is the primary supporter of the child? Wife, of course. The concubine not only does not have custody of the child, but also has no right as the mother of the child, and the titular mother of the child is also a full wife.
This kind of law seems unpopular to us in modern times, and concubines who conceive in October do not have the right to become mothers, but in ancient times they were an important means of maintaining family balance.
As everyone often sees in court dramas, because the queen has no children, she chooses one of the concubine's children to be raised by the queen as her own child. This is a very common phenomenon.
But the rules are dead, but people are alive. The law so comprehensively prescribes the rules, but forgets that it is neither concubines nor wives but men who play a dominant role in the family.
Why were there so many jealous women in ancient times? The main reason is actually due to the attitude of the husband.
The husband's attitude towards concubines
"Ten years of life and death, do not think, unforgettable." Such a tear-jerking poem was written by Su Shi ten years after the death of his wife.
All those who listen to it for the first time may think that this is a singing and crying love story between Su Shi and his deceased wife. But I have to say that everyone was wrong this time.
After Su Shi finished this poem, he took his beautiful concubine to go sightseeing. Perhaps we can't deny Su Shi's true feelings when he composed words as a generation of lyricists, but the truth is far crueler than fairy tales.
"The order of the parents, the words of the matchmaker." What we now consider normal free love was a fantasy in ancient times.
Women in ancient times had no right to choose their spouses at all.
Presumably there will be male compatriots who think that there are no men in ancient times? No, although he does not have the right to choose a right wife, he is free to choose a concubine.
"The saddest thing is love." After marrying his wife, the literati Yashi, who thought that he would never experience love again, met the singer and the beautiful Jiangnan woman while attending banquets or sightseeing. Just this glance fell into her gentle country.
At this time, would he be willing to stay only in dew with the other party? No, people are prone to do impulsive things when dopamine is secreted like crazy.
They will choose to take her back to their home to become their own concubine, leaving only a confused wife.
At the same time out to play and party, ancient poets also mostly chose versatile concubines.
First, because moving songs can add more fun to the party, and at the same time, the beauty with musical instruments is pleasing to the eye, and the second is the vanity that men have had for thousands of years.
But to this day, we rarely turn a page in the history books about ancient women standing up against their husbands and taking concubines.
Are they unable to speak? Is each of them docile and cowardly? No, because in such a patriarchal society, this kind of behavior is shameful and unbearable.
There is even a very critical term for such women, called "jealous woman".
The limitations of the times have made every girl who should be alive mute.
epilogue
In 1930, the National Government of the Nanjing National Government promulgated the Civil Law of the Republic of China, Compilation of Relatives. It is mentioned that all concubines are considered adultery.
This is the first time in Chinese history that concubinage, a bad custom left over from ancient patriarchal society for many years, has been explicitly abolished.
From 1930 to the present, 93 years have passed. But even today, when the culture is already very open and inclusive, there will still be all kinds of colored glasses imposed on women, and even the workplace is very unfriendly to married and childless women.
Every woman is a unique flower, whether it is body or mind, it should belong to herself, and cannot be deprived or forced by others.
Every woman should also deeply remember: you can no longer rely on your husband or anyone, please be sure to save yourself again and again, thousands of times when facing difficulties!
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