Why is this variety show about love so suffocating?

Why is this variety show about love so suffocating?

Unlike the warm style of the first season, "Goodbye Lover 2" is sharp, it moves towards a bloody real marriage, showing the constant confrontation of suspicion, hurt, control, jealousy, possession and responsibility between lovers, and the complexity of being human is vividly reflected in the constant deformation of this intimate relationship.

Author| Lulu Qu \ Editor| Lone Pigeon

Even Yang Di, a variety show who never lets the words fall to the ground, met Zhang Wanting without a rut.

From the start of "Goodbye Lover 2" to the present, guest Zhang Wanting has surprised people because of her "temper" problem and attitude towards her husband Song Ningfeng, and the topics and controversies surrounding her have continued.

In the latest episode of the broadcast, Yang Di joined a journey of "Goodbye Lover 2" as a special guest, and it turned out that he obviously didn't come at the right time, just in time for Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng to quarrel, the scene was extremely embarrassing, and everyone felt the low pressure on Zhang Wanting's body. When it came to the game session, Song Ningfeng, who had always been forbearant, left directly.

Even Yang Di, who was accustomed to seeing the wind and waves, revealed his heart when he chased out to find Song Ningfeng: compared to finding guests, he wanted to leave the place of right and wrong first.

After the broadcast of "Goodbye Lover 2", which is the "most infuriating of the year" variety show, the keywords around it are "suffocation" and "embarrassment", and the problems of Song Ningfeng and Zhang Wanting are the first to bear the brunt. One is the husband of the stuffy gourd, the other is the wife of strong control, and the strong emotional concentration change of the two makes the audience's heart also ride on a roller coaster.

Among the popular short reviews on Douban, a comment that "Song Ningfeng got the best script since his career - "My Horror Wife" received the praise of most netizens. However, some people also raised objections, arguing that Zhang Wanting herself was cute, and the editing guidance of the program and some non-objective remarks of the observation group added drama to a certain extent.

In fact, unlike the warm style of the first season, "Goodbye Lover 2" is sharp, it moves towards a bloody real marriage, showing the constant confrontation of suspicion, hurt, control, jealousy, possession and responsibility between lovers, and the complexity of being human is vividly reflected in the continuous deformation of this intimate relationship.

Behind the most infuriating variety show of the year is perhaps the most real intimate relationship sample of the year.

Each pair "catches the horse"

The first thing that makes people feel uncomfortable in "Goodbye Lover 2" is the pair of Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng. The marriage of the two of them is a typical flash marriage, and the concentration of problems presented is also the highest at the beginning. As netizens said, their marriage is like "crazy love".

Zhang Wanting met each other after Song Ningfeng's divorce, and decided to give birth to a child for Song Ningfeng after falling in love for a month. Song Ningfeng is 10 years old, but in their marriage, the younger Zhang Wanting is particularly strong. In the process of getting along with the two, Zhang Wanting is always "picking thorns" and never gives Song Ningfeng face in public.

Some obviously shocking words, Zhang Wanting will say it very unabashedly, such as Song Ningfeng, as an actor, is not popular and has no money. When she spoke, she spoke quickly and logically, rarely allowing Song Ningfeng to interject, and even interrupted Song Ningfeng many times.

In the case of many people, Zhang Wanting tried to prove one thing with the most irritable side: in the relationship between the two people, Song Ningfeng is the one with the biggest problem. For example, in the second issue, the two broke out in contradictions and conflicts, Zhang Wanting could not understand, Song Ningfeng, as an actor, could not see her emotions, felt that Song Ningfeng did not love her, and even every silence of him was the cause of her "madness".

In the issue of Yi Lijing's arrival, Zhang Wanting even said, "What I can't stand the most is that everyone thinks Xiao Song is good" and "I must tear off his mask immediately." Why you have to prove that your husband is "bad" is very confusing.

Why is this variety show about love so suffocating?

Zhang Wanting talks about Song Ningfeng

Different from Zhang Wanting's hysteria, Song Ningfeng is more like a calm sea in her feelings, when Zhang Wanting argues hard, Song Ningfeng chooses to bear it most of the time, and in the face of Zhang Wanting's accusations, she is mostly silent.

Sometimes, he chooses to share his dissatisfaction with another male guest, Lu Ge, but when he faces Zhang Wanting again, he hides his thoughts. It's like a protective rule he's learned in the relationship—when faced with an argument, he already knows how to stop Zhang's emotions, which is to follow her and admit his mistake first, even if he doesn't think so.

However, even if the contradiction has reached such an extent, the pair of Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng, from the beginning to the end of each phase of the journey, the two are the pair who choose the most "inseparable". Children have become their bonds, and their feelings love and kill each other continuously, and the drama is full of tension.

Unlike the flash marriage relationship of Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng, Chen Meiling and Ai Wei are elderly marriage relationship breakdown. They are the epitome of the older generation of love, such as the imbalance of women's voice in marriage relationships, the machismo of husbands, never really listening to the heart of the wife, and so on.

Ai Wei and Chen Meiling met 31 years ago, married for 18 years, and once paid a lot of money to treat Chen Meiling's illness. But when Ai Wei was in his sixties, he chose to divorce his wife Chen Meiling because Chen Meiling "played mahjong". He felt that the other party did not care about his physical health. And during the journey, Ai Wei mentioned the matter of "playing mahjong" many times.

At first glance, it is true that Chen Meiling caused the marriage to fail regardless of her body, but as the show progressed, Ai Wei's problems became more and more thoroughly exposed. For example, Ai Wei has never thought about why Chen Meiling plays mahjong, and many times Ai Wei said that Chen Meiling's grievances were not seen in this marriage relationship.

Why is this variety show about love so suffocating?

Ai Wei and Chen Meiling are a couple who decided to divorce in old age

Compared with Chen Meiling's attitude, Ai Wei is always worried that Chen Meiling will propose to get back together at any time, and he mentions "playing mahjong" and other side knocks from time to time to pour cold water on the atmosphere. When choosing whether to "divorce" or not, he unswervingly chose "leave".

In the relationship between the two, Chen Meiling is a person who "has no self", her world revolves around Ai Wei, and she is very satisfied and happy when the other party gives a little response. The most terrifying thing is that Ai Wei has come out of that relationship, but Chen Meiling is still in place.

The last divorced couple in "Goodbye Lover 2" is an artist whose core issue in their marriage relationship is "long-distance communication". His wife Su Shiding originally worked as a teacher in Xi'an, and later went to Beijing with the development of her career, and her husband Lu Ge was in Shanghai. At the beginning, the hormones of love made it impossible for the two to take care of firewood, rice, oil and salt, and the problem was not a problem. But with the different steps of their careers, the two people became more and more distant, and after quarrels, they chose to be silent and did not communicate about depth issues. In the show, the two seem to know each other for the first time.

Three sets of different marriages and different forms of problems are precisely the refraction of the emotional aspects of life, and the "angry" of "Goodbye Lover 2" lies in its reality.

Bloody facts

Looking back at the show, "Goodbye Lover 2" is like a particularly sharp knife that stabs reality again and again with irresistible force.

Of course, this show understands narrative rhythm. From the two contradictions of the aggressive Zhang Wanting and the tolerant Song Ningfeng as an incision, attracting huge attention; and then bring out Lu Ge, who collapsed because he never knew Su Shiding, and presented the second pair of guest questions; In the end, Zhang Wanting's mother and Su Shiding's native family problem. At each stage, the various scars in the relationship between wife and husband and the retrospective of the original family, the ups and downs of the intimate relationship, bloodily cut open for everyone to see.

One of the most special parts of the show is "Portrait of Husband and Wife", which is also the traditional part of the "Goodbye Lover" program. The program group asked the guests to describe the details of their appearance and that of each other, let the painter draw it, and then invited Yi Lijing to talk after the end.

This is a very special link, because from here as a node, Song Ningfeng tries to change his personality, and he also feels that he is understood; From the previous relatively no problem, Lu Ge was suddenly shattered by the real Su Shiding, and the balance of the relationship between the two people also changed; And the problem of Ai Wei and Chen Meiling was further exposed, Ai Wei never understood a woman.

Why is this variety show about love so suffocating?

Song Ningfeng and Zhang Wanting

A very interesting phenomenon is that the most contradictory Song Ningfeng and Zhang Wanting have portraits of each other. In the pair of Su Shiding and Lu Ge, Su Shiding describes himself and Su Shiding described by Lu Ge are the least similar; There are also differences in the portraits of Ai Wei and Chen Meiling. Through these portraits, the contradictions between each couple and their true emotional demands are presented step by step.

For example, Song Ningfeng observed Zhang Wanting very carefully, whether it was with diamond-like tears or white hair at the corner of his forehead, which showed that he saw each other in this relationship. And on his portrait, he presents a completely helpless and sad Song Ningfeng, which means that he is also exhausted in this relationship. When his grievance was seen by Yi Lijing, Song Ningfeng's whole person was relieved.

No one can really be indifferent and unhurt in a tight relationship, but Song Ningfeng's point is that his expression is usually invalid, not allowed, and even exchanged for Zhang Wanting's "hysterical" "punishment".

And as the show progresses, the reason why Zhang Wanting became the Zhang Wanting she is today is from her native family trauma and the uncertainty of her feelings for Song Ningfeng later. When she was 12 years old, her father died, and Zhang Wanting was forced to grow up and become a father's role. The mother is like a child, don't say take care of her, she needs Zhang Wanting to take care of herself. And in the flash marriage flash pregnancy with Song Ningfeng, she once saw Song Ningfeng pushing her away because the hospital misdiagnosed her, so she felt that the other party's love for her must be a child first.

One is not good at communication, the other cannot communicate, the problems between the two of them, the longer they accumulate, the longer they become a confused account, even love no longer believes, wrong becomes right, the right person does not know where he is wrong. The snowflakes rolled and became big snowballs pressed on the rope of love.

Lu Ge and Su Shiding were originally the "most reassuring to the audience" couple, but in the "husband and wife portrait" link, they became the most eye-catching couple. When Lu Ge saw the portrait described by Su Shiding himself, the calm and warm friendship between the two sides was broken.

Why is this variety show about love so suffocating?

The portrait that made Lu Ge feel devastated

In the show, Su Shiding in Lu Ge's eyes is 20 years old, but Su Shiding looks 40 years old in her eyes. Su Shiding experienced a series of painful childhood such as her mother's suicide attempt, her parents' divorce, and her stepmother's use of her as a tool to steal money, and Lu Ge grew up in the love of her parents. After he was with Su Shiding, he once held the mood of wanting to "save" her, and thought that he had done it.

But the portrait shattered his perception. He broke down, feeling that he didn't know the person he had slept with, and that his knowledge of her might have been wrong before.

Perhaps the most problematic intimate relationships that often seem to be okay and don't argue and communicate are actually the biggest problem, because two people may never really know each other and haven't been close to each other in a relationship.

Where does the feeling of suffocation come from

"Goodbye Lover 2" is like a drama-style documentary, presenting a contemporary perspective on the discussion of Chinese marriage relationship. From each pair of guests, the audience can more or less see their own shadow, so as to think about their own intimate relationship. To put it bluntly, it is to see yourself from variety shows.

This is why the audience has different opinions about Zhang Wanting's feelings. Some people can understand Zhang Wanting, because they have also personally experienced that close people around them choose to be silent and do not solve problems in the face of contradictions. Then suddenly saw Zhang Wanting's mother, heard Zhang Wanting's growth story, and began to understand Zhang Wanting.

And some people can't understand Zhang Wanting, because a second ago, when facing the persuasion of Yi Lijing and Su Shiding, she seemed to have understood her mistake, but as long as Song Ningfeng quarreled with her and did not stand on her side, she could not control her temper, and low pressure enveloped everyone. At the dining table, as long as Zhang Wanting did not speak, almost no one dared to speak.

The audience's distress for Song Ningfeng at the beginning also understood in the end, they were "Zhou Yu beating the yellow cover, one willing to fight and one willing to be beaten", and then came out of the state of complete empathy.

Why is this variety show about love so suffocating?

Song Ningfeng decided to "be himself", but the operation ended in failure

In this process, the audience spontaneously brought into Song Ningfeng's state, hoping that he could resist Zhang Wanting, but whether it was at the beginning or in this issue of Yang Dilai, Song Ningfeng only quickly withdrew from the brief quarrel and being himself, because he could not bear the situation created by Zhang Wanting and began to apologize and make up for himself. Even in this process, Zhang Wanting still stabbed him with words one by one, and the audience inevitably "hated iron but not steel".

There is also a layer of suffocation that cannot be ignored, which comes from the observation group guests in the studio. In the observation session, everyone wants to say two words, everyone you say a word, than observation and rational discussion of problems, everyone seems to be more keen to read the story, and then express their own comments.

Most people start from their own experience, directly give judgments and emotional feelings, and it is inevitable that they will be guided. Even when the camera is focused on the guests of the divorced couple, the program team will directly release the subjective guiding words and emotions of some people in the observation room.

A Douban netizen commented, "I like to watch this kind of divorce emotional show, the problems in the intimate relationship can never be discussed, but I just finished watching "Change Love" I think in contrast, the guests in the studio really lack some empathy, when the guests are expressing some of their emotions, their reaction is always 'you see why she is like this', 'very strong' 'I don't understand', this is probably not the original intention of observation, the guests bravely show, at least we don't have to judge prematurely." ”

Especially in the face of Ai Wei and Chen Meiling, a pair of guests, Ai Wei will emphasize almost every time that he does not want Chen Meiling to misunderstand, thinking that they may still get back together, and in some details of getting along, it can also be seen that Ai Wei takes care of Chen Meiling in family affection. More often, Ai Wei has an attitude of ignoring, disencouraging, and not praising Chen Meiling, and many times his words are arbitrary, and there is no room for Chen Meiling to interject, even if he has his own grievances, it is difficult to say it. In one episode, from Chen Meiling's mouth, I learned that Ai Wei believed that no one wanted to believe that what she said was right.

Why is this variety show about love so suffocating?

Chen Meiling's grievances

But in the eyes of the studio guest group, Ai Wei still likes Chen Meiling, and he is in a hard-mouthed state in an old-fashioned marriage. This kind of suppressed emotion in intimate relationships, and their evaluation of Zhang Wanting seems to be ignored lightly.

For an observation-based variety show, the setting of the observation group is sometimes not to play the role of "audience mouth replacement", but to truly objectively and rationally analyze the relationship between the observed guests and them, especially a divorce variety show, for everyone, the right and wrong in the relationship is the most difficult to judge, and you must understand the power of words when criticizing.

Despite its flaws, the sharp truth of "Goodbye Lover 2" can bring people reflection and make people re-examine their emotional relationships. Perhaps the divorced couples who participate in variety shows will also regard it as a learning and combing process and open it again. As long as there is still the energy of love, there is a chance to love. As the show says: "Time is not necessarily medicine, but medicine must be in time." ”

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