Text\Demi Dandan
Huang Tingjian of the Northern Song Dynasty wrote a poem:
"It's better to be silent than to be silent."
Indeed, in people-to-people, many times, mouth like a river is not more powerful than silence.
Silence is not silence, it is a silent comfort, but also kindness and transparency after the world.
No matter how good the relationship is, we must also remain silent on these 3 things.
01. It's hard to ask
There is a lyric in Xiao Yaxuan's song "Secret":
"There are too many secrets in people's hearts, and curious people must not dig into the bottom and ask the truth."
Everyone has something difficult to say, and if you have to dig into the bottom of it, it is undoubtedly pouring salt on other people's wounds.
Netizen Ye Ye shared his own experience:
When I was a child, my family was poor and could not pay my tuition on time, so I was often asked by the head teacher to talk.
Ye Ye wanted her father to find someone to borrow some money to help her make up the tuition, but her father was unwilling, so she quarreled with her father.
In anger, Dad threw the towel on Ye Ye's face, leaving a small scar.
At that time, only her best classmate Xiaojin knew about this matter. Years later, Xiaojin called her to go to a class reunion.
At the dinner table, while chatting happily, Xiao Jin actually asked about the scars on her face again.
Ye Ye was very angry at that time, this was an unspeakable past for her, and she didn't want others to know.
But Xiao Jin didn't notice Ye Ye's emotions at all, and kept pulling her to ask reluctantly.
After the party, she decisively blacked out Xiao Jin.
She said: "I'm not the little girl I used to be, and there's no need to continue with people who don't respect me. ”
There are many things that we have not experienced and cannot empathize with others.
You know, what others are unwilling to take the initiative to mention must be the bitterness of not being able to serve outsiders.
Blindly asking others about their unspeakable secrets is an offense to others and a lack of self-cultivation.
No matter how good the relationship is, we must also abide by the sense of boundaries, do not ask questions, do not speak falsely, which is the greatest respect for people.
Shen Congwen said:
"Don't ask about someone else's past, it may be a memory you never want to touch."
In life, there are always some questions that cannot be asked, and if you have to explore everything, you will hurt others and cause chaos for yourself.
At all times, you must control your voyeurism, keep your mouth shut, leave a decent for others, and save face for yourself.
02. Do not interfere with your emotional life
In the variety show "Beautiful and Beautiful", Shi Changqing shared an experience of his good friends with women.
The female friend told him that she had recently had a new boyfriend and wanted to find him out for dinner.
During the meal, he found that the boy had many bad habits, so he felt obliged to remind his friends.
After the meal, he privately said to his friends, your boyfriend is not suitable for you. And pointed out that this boy did not stand in phase, sat without sitting phase, and burst into foul language.
My friend said she liked her boyfriend very much and didn't think what he said was a problem. On the contrary, he suspected that Shi Changqing was too lenient, interfered excessively, and even wanted to break off diplomatic relations with him.
As the saying goes: emotional things, such as people drinking water, cold and warm self-knowledge.
Many times, what may seem to you to be good advice for her may seem to her to be nosy.
No matter how good the relationship is, don't mix with each other's love life, if you break each other's friendship because of this, it is inevitable that you will regret it.
It is better to be silent at the right time to make room for friendship.
Seen this news:
A woman who had just completed divorce formalities with her husband sat at the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau while crying and slapping herself.
It turned out that the thing was like this, the woman said that she liked to complain to her girlfriends about her husband's wrongness, and the girlfriends also followed her emotions to protect her and persuaded her to divorce.
After a violent argument with her husband, her girlfriend said to her: "You leave quickly, get out of the sea of suffering, and I will introduce you to a better one." ”
At the instigation of her best friend, she proposed divorce with her husband, who kept her many times, her attitude was still firm, and the two went through the procedures.
However, as soon as she walked out of the Civil Affairs Bureau, she regretted it, so she cried at the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau.
Heard a quote:
"Feelings are a matter of two people, and the more one person intervenes, the more contradictions. The intervention of others can be counterproductive. ”
The consummation of a relationship is the practice of two people, quarrels and quarrels are necessary calamities, and the blind interference of others will often do bad things with good intentions.
The book "Good Love" says:
"In the eyes of millions of people, there are thousands of kinds of happiness. My happiness is not equal to the happiness of others. ”
There are as many people in this world, there are as many kinds of emotional lives, joys, sorrows and sorrows, and you can't fully experience them if you are not in them.
Between people, joy and sorrow are not the same, and excessive interference with them will cause irreversible results; It's better to know and not speak, and to be clear.
03. Family disputes are not involved
Saying goes:
"It is difficult for Qing officials to decide family affairs, and they can't sort it out."
Family trivia is constantly cut, the reason is still chaotic, it is difficult to say which is right and wrong, outsiders are deeply involved in it, it is easy to help.
In the TV series "Mother-in-law is Coming", He Lin and Xiaoya are good girlfriends.
After marriage, Xiaoya was controlled by her mother-in-law everywhere, not only did she have endless housework, but even her salary card was confiscated.
Once when Xiaoya was shopping with her girlfriend He Lin, she complained that her mother-in-law was nosy and did not leave her any personal space.
Xiaoya proposed to let He Lin pretend to be her bondman and help her get the money back from her mother-in-law.
In the evening, He Lin came to Xiaoya's house and said in front of Xiaoya's mother-in-law: "Xiaoya, can you pay me back the money you borrowed from me last time?" Recently, there is an urgent use of it. ”
And said to Xiaoya's mother-in-law that Xiaoya earns so much money that she should not wash and cook at home, and now that her wife is married home, she is not for housework.
Xiaoya's mother-in-law already had an opinion about He Lin, and after hearing this, she sneered at He Lin.
After He Lin left, she even reprimanded Xiaoya for not borrowing money indiscriminately, saying that she was careless in making friends.
After some tossing, the relationship between Xiaoya and her mother-in-law was even worse.
No matter how small a family affair, it is also complicated, the full picture is unknown, and impulsive intervention can be a disaster.
Ignorant fighting, seemingly ancient road hot intestines, but in fact self-righteous; Indifferent to the matter, seemingly unkind, but in fact wise and foolish.
As the old saying goes:
"Raw tigers are close, and acquaintances are unbearable."
People communicate with each other, even if the relationship is good, it is the best respect for both sides to keep the boundaries of communication, grasp the proportions of getting along, and not embarrass each other or embarrass themselves.
Only by keeping a suitable distance, not saying much, not intervening, and not evaluating, can the relationship go deep and long-term.
04. Mei Niang said
Love a quote:
"The water is silent, and the people are silent."
In life, there are many eloquent people, but it is the real wise who knows how to keep silent at the right time.
Other people's private affairs, do not ask, do not pry, leave some blanks for each other, is the most comfortable relationship between friends;
The feelings of others, do not interfere, do not talk nonsense, and leave each other a piece of decency, is the best protection for sincere friendship;
Other people's family affairs, do not intervene, do not mix, and leave a little leeway for each other, is the greatest respect between adults.
May you and I be comfortable, calm and consistent, clear and self-evident, and take every step for the rest of our lives.
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