A very good female friend, 28 years old this year, she is a very good girl.
Well-proportioned, good looking, cheerful and easy-going personality, thoughtful, insightful, and a very good job.
But she hadn't been in a serious relationship until now.
She told me that it was not that no one had chased her, that she had received love letters when she was in school, and that she had been publicly confessed, but she did not like the other party, so she was not forced to agree to the coaxing of onlookers.
After graduation, in order to reduce the burden on her family, she has been working hard, and even the social interaction between many sisters has been pushed away, only for twice the salary of overtime.
Now that her career has achieved little success, the pressure at home is no longer deep, and she is nearly 30 years old, and when she looks back, she has not even talked about a relationship.
The family is very anxious, after all, 28 years old, most of the same age are married and have children, she is still alone, her mother is chanting every day, and her father is secretly smoking in the corner.
She is also anxious, but the work circle is very fixed, most of the men among her colleagues are married and start a family, and she is also very busy at work and has no time to expand her social circle.
Her mother began to give her a blind date, and at first she resisted, but after a long time, she couldn't twist it, so she went to see the two.
There is a man who has very good conditions, has been working in Shanghai, has an optimistic income, and has some distant relatives at home with friends, which is considered to be acquaintance.
The man is good-looking, warm-hearted, and 31 years old.
He told her that if they did, he could transfer back to the local area in the next year, or friends would go with him and work him to arrange.
It sounds very good, my friend finished talking to me, and I was happy for her, because she was a very good marriage partner.
After all, falling in love at the age of almost 30 years old requires marriage as a prerequisite.
They got along for a while, and the man would bring her special food every time he came back from Shanghai, and when they had time, they would go out to eat and watch movies together.
She worked overtime until the early hours of the morning and couldn't get a taxi, and as long as he was local, he would definitely pick him up.
Just when I thought they were getting better, friends proposed to break up.
I didn't understand, so I asked her why, and she said to me, "I asked him if he liked me, and he said he thought I was fit to get married."
The man never expressed his liking for her from beginning to end, and all the answers were more like, sophisticated and thoughtful with age.
I persuaded her for a long time, and to be honest, I also feel in my heart that it is almost 30 years old, and it is not easy to meet a man with such suitable conditions.
My friend was determined and asked me not to persuade her again.
Her family's reaction was more intense than mine, and her mother ignored her for days, crying, not eating, and her unkind father was also trying to persuade her, but she did not waver.
She told me that she didn't want to have no love in the second half of her life, that she had never been in love, that she was going to marry someone who didn't love her at all, who didn't love her, and she didn't want to.
Although I feel sorry for this relationship, I still respect her ideas.
The days were busy again, and one day a friend called me and said that a boy was chasing her.
Looks are cute, is a new colleague of the company, is the type she likes, she said is the love she has always wanted.
But there was a problem, the boy was 5 years younger than her.
This is very worth hesitating about many feelings, especially women, and my friends have also asked for my opinion.
My first reaction was no support, after all, the 5-year-old age difference is not a small thing, their worldview may have a lot of differences, in case they get along for a few years and find it inappropriate, boys are still good age, but my friends are in their thirties and more to be chosen by others.
And will a 23-year-old boy end up marrying her? I even suspected his purpose in pursuing my friend.
I told her about the stakes, and she said she was thinking about it herself.
A few days later my friend agreed, and to be honest I was puzzled and even a little angry.
But my friend told me that she didn't want to think about it so much and just wanted to be in love once, just for love, and had no purpose in marriage.
I don't understand, I don't understand the charm of "having a relationship once".
But her firmness let me know that she had thought it through.
Now, my friend has been with her boyfriend for two years, and to be honest there are a lot of surprises to me, the two of them are together, and it is more of my friend who is taken care of.
Boys will wash her clothes and brush shoes, two people traveling together is also a boy to do planning, my friend has grown a lot of "small temper" after falling in love, there will be times unreasonable, sometimes obviously the boyfriend did not do anything wrong or a complaint and then ignored him for a few hours, waiting for him to coax.
Boyfriends are very tolerant, never care, spoil her, accommodate her, and the more mature ones between them are more like boys, not my friends.
He also works hard at work, often working overtime for a project for several weeks in a row, and he says he wants to pay more quickly than my friend so that he has the confidence to marry her.
I was surprised and even happier that she had finally found the love she wanted.
He also didn't live up to her initial insistence.
Just last month they met each other's parents, the boy's parents are very easy-going, but also like her, set a wedding date, the two sides began to plan the wedding.
Now that I understand her initial insistence, girls should not only live and be stable in their lives, but also have love.
You shouldn't be suitable for marriage because you know things, and you can't even have requirements for pursuing good feelings.
In the movie "If Yun Knows", Sui Dongfeng and Luo Yun met in the same house where they lived, and when they got married, the landlady was their only witness.
The most impressive thing was a sentence that the landlady told Yun:
"Most marriages have thought about leaving each other, and long-term marriages are survived.
The premise of boiling is because of love, so that we will tolerate some of the other party's faults and shortcomings, without the premise of love, I am afraid that I can't stand it for a minute and a second. ”
Yes, life is long for decades, people who are opposite day and night, if they are going to be at the beginning, then how will they live in the future?
If you don't love him, how can you ignore all his little flaws and think that he is cute when he snores, grinds his teeth, and farts.
Not loving her, how can you understand all her little things and anger, just to make you come and coax her and make you care about her.
We tend to grow older, with the urging of the people around us, and we are more and more skeptical about whether we still have to insist and wait for love.
But when we choose marriage, who doesn't want to have a siege life of "strings, phoenixes and sounds".
Li Yinhe, a famous sociologist and sexologist in China, said:
"Someone always asks me what kind of advice I have for "leftover men and leftover women," and my advice is two sentences.
One. If you want to get married, you don't have to wait for love, and it is not necessary to marry a friend who is only physical or just spiritual;
Two. If you don't really want to get married and you must wait for love, then you must be strong enough inside to be prepared for lifelong celibacy, because the chances of love happening are not too high. ”
Most of them agree, and the only minor ambiguity is that people who want to have love, the odds of love happening will not be low.
The world is so big, the fateful fate will be encountered sooner or later.
As soon as you go to meet, go looking.
The beginning of a marriage should be:
Because you love me, you want to protect me and give me a warm home.
Because I love you, I want to take care of you, I see you every day, I snuggle in your arms.
It's not you who are fit to get married because I'm sensible; I'm fit to get married because you have money.