How can it be so difficult to grow up

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These two days, watching Qiu Wei's "Girl Girl", I suddenly remembered the wish my sister made on her 18th birthday: never to return to childhood.

I asked her why, and she put on a particularly old and heavy expression and said, "Because it's so hard to grow up, I don't want to do it again." ”

Our whole family was shocked by her answer, and after she returned to school, we sat in the living room and discussed for hours, trying to remember what grievances and hardships she had suffered as a child, so that she had formed such a deep vendetta against her childhood.

The next week, my sister returned home, and she couldn't stand the family's repeated inquiries, so she said: "When I was a child, my parents often quarreled, my sister didn't take me out to play, I couldn't even decide the content of my breakfast and lunch and the length of my hair, too depressed, too helpless." ”

Mom couldn't help but pick up: "You're too arrogant, aren't you?" Compared to the days when we didn't have enough to eat and wear when we were young, you don't know how happy you are! ”

The younger sister also smiled and said, "Actually, if you think about it, some small things don't seem to be anything now, but before, even being criticized by the teacher or snubbed by a good friend felt that the sky had collapsed." When I was a child, I was really fragile inside, thinking too much and doing too little. That feeling of helplessness, I don't want to do it again. ”

My girlfriend who read the book with me also sighed: "When I grew up, I was obviously hard and powerful, but I didn't have the delicate and sensitive emotions of my childhood." It is not too much to say that time has made people, we are at the most helpless age, but we have the most abundant feelings and the most fragile hearts. ”

My sister sighed like a suffering adult and said, "It's been so hard to grow up!" Suddenly, I remembered that I seemed to have heard such words from many people.

I have a friend who gave up a well-paid job after graduation to join an NGO dedicated to improving the environment in which children grow up. The organization regularly holds parent-child activities in residential areas, conducts lectures on family education, and sometimes sends people to intervene.

Once, while chatting, she told the story of a little girl in Hangzhou. The little girl's father was an alcoholic, had no job, and when he was not happy with drinking, he would scold her at will.

The little girl's mother earns money alone to support the family, there is no time or heart to care about the growth of her daughter, seeing the injuries on her body, at most lukewarm and lukewarm: "Won't you stay away from him when he drinks?" The wound in her heart was invisible to her mother, or perhaps even if she saw it, she could not do anything.

This friend of mine visited the little girl's house several times, and each time her father threw her out. When she and her colleagues were doing activities in the community, the little girl stood next to her, watching other people's parents play intimately with their children, showing a look of inferiority, cowardice, and envy. But when my friend tried to invite the little girl to join her, she would always run away quickly, wait until no one noticed her, and then quietly come back, standing in a corner and watching timidly.

Landless and overwhelmed.

Before they organized the move from Hangzhou to Xiamen, this friend of mine went to the little girl and said to her: "Life will be better when you grow up, you don't think about anything, as long as you grow up well, then you have the opportunity to change, and then you have the opportunity to leave this home." ”

One day, this little girl will be like us, her heart is as hard as cement, and she will no longer cry for a small thing, thinking that the end of the world is coming; she will also become a person with a perfect mask to cover up the wounds, just like us.

My friend said, "But sometimes I think, how can it be so hard to grow up!" ”

Another friend of mine was assigned to school in the United States by his parents when he was 15 years old. The family's business can not be separated from people, her parents only stayed in the United States for a few days and then left, she left her hometown alone, the language is not clear, every day is particularly lonely, and because of loneliness and walking on thin ice.

Like a young girl locked in a deep palace at a young age, she counted all the floor tiles, counted all the large and small flaws on the wall, and many nights, listening to the sound of the wind and snow outside and the sound of her own breathing, she felt that the next second she would be lonely and crazy.

And that doesn't include the landlord's harshness with a thick Indian accent, the isolation and ridicule from children of the same age, the fear and trepidation when hearing gunshots late at night, the blank eyes of the other party when bargaining with the clerk in english that is not fluent enough...

Today, she has become the envy of everyone's Wall Street financial elite, and when she talks about the past, she will sigh like my sister: "I don't want to do it again." ”

When I was very young, looking at adults in their twenties and thirties, while realizing that they were very far away, they were always mixed with some tightly entangled fears and expectations, afraid that time would turn themselves into an adult who had experienced vicissitudes, but they were also attracted by the freedom and independence brought by growth.

Every little girl sneaked through her mother's high heels, and every little boy tried to tie her father's belt. Growth, like two words with a metallic luster, instinctively makes people feel cold, but because of the brightness, people involuntarily approach.

Ever since I turned 25, someone at every party asks the sad question, "If you could go back in time, when would you most like to go back?" ”

I often use this sentence as a reply: "I don't want to go back to the past, I want to go to the future." ”

How nice it is to grow up!

Have choices, gain strength.

Know how to sort out their emotions, calmly face the sudden episodes in life, once you have the opportunity to choose, have the ability to change, then peel back the cocoon to solve some life problems that once seemed almost insoluble.

No longer like a little white rabbit, his eyes were red at every turn, he was no longer startled like a frightened bird, and he was no longer as humble and cowardly as a marmot.

Through all the hardships, stumbled and grew into his own form.