On September 7, the Afghan Taliban announced the formation of an interim government.
This marks the end of nearly 20 years of U.S. military operations in Afghanistan, and the devastated country is struggling to move toward peace and stability.
Some people have begun to boldly photograph the urban situation in Kabul:
Although there are more people on the street, there are hardly any women to be seen.
A large number of shops are closing, making the city of 6 million people seem slow and quiet.
In this turmoil, countless people have chosen to escape.
Some flee their homeland and seek political asylum; some escape their jobs and seek a moment of peace.
Looking back at the last time I encountered such a scene, it was in "The Kite Chaser" that I was able to spy on this wasteland to be revived.
From the perspective of an Afghan, the author depicts an epic historical landscape and tells a story of human nature that is full of breath.
As soon as the work was released, it was immediately well received by literary critics, and it dominated the authoritative best-seller lists such as the New York Times for 101 weeks, becoming a reading material for men, women and children around the world.
It is equally popular in China and has long occupied the top 30 open-book bestsellers, with "The Kite Chaser" in third place on Tsinghua University's 2014 student bestseller list.
The protagonist of the story, Amir, is an Afghan.
In the first half of his life, he also experienced countless escapes.
But as he grew older, he slowly became aware:
Although he has been on the road of escape, he will still encounter an unexpected fate.
Those things that escaped reappeared before him in another form.
No one can always be a bystander of life, and many precious things are also wasted in escape.
In this life, people must always face these four things in order to regain the courage to live and embrace the future with love and warmth.
Life: Confront cowardice
Amir grew up well, but he was not as brave and strong as hassan, the servant's child.
He often encouraged Hassan to tease the neighbor's dog with a slingshot, but when he was discovered, he did not dare to stand up and take responsibility.
Hassan retrieves the booty of the kite contest for him, and is humiliated by street thugs on the way.
He obviously saw it, but he didn't dare to come forward to help.
He also had guilt, but afterwards he would find various reasons to comfort himself and rationalize all cowardly behavior.
Unable to look directly at his own cowardice, he even blamed Hassan for stealing a watch, hoping to use his father's hand to drive Hassan out of the house.
He achieved his goal, but for the first half of his life, he was always trapped by a cowardly net and could not break free.
The French philosopher once said:
"We are born weak, so we need strength."
Some seemingly tedious things, to solve, actually only need a few words, a few actions.
We are tied because we think too badly about the results.
One writer once talked about his days sharing a room with strangers, and perhaps you had a similar experience:
Late one night, the writer had fallen asleep.
My roommate had just started washing up and was still playing music in the bathroom.
The writer got up and knocked on the door and told him to turn off the music and solve the personal hygiene problem quickly.
He and his roommates agreed on three chapters, after 12 o'clock, as little as possible in the house, the daily washing time should not be deliberately delayed until the middle of the night.
Maybe seeing this, you will praise the writer's behavior.
You will think that he is amazing and can bravely stand up and defend his own interests.
But all this is actually the writer's imagination, and the real situation is completely two faces.
In the shared room, the roommates washed and played music in the middle of the night, and the writer did not talk in person, but constantly comforted himself:
After a while he would be back in his room, and there was no need to bother with his roommate.
In the end, because he could not open his mouth, he had to end the rental contract early and pay liquidated damages.
"Bear with it, and you'll pass; if you hide, you'll have nothing to do."
The seemingly rationalized explanation is actually an excuse for not daring to do anything about yourself.
Always want to change something, but pretend that nothing has happened, the name is "taking care of the overall situation".
Because of cowardice, those avoidable injuries will always come back and forth, upsetting you.
It will continue to drain your courage and make you choose to "surrender" when making difficult choices.
Blindly forbearance and withdrawal are not kindness, but cowardice, lack of justice, and even connivance.
The world is raining heavily, and no one carries more for you.
Man must face cowardice head-on so that he will not seek perfection everywhere.
Emotion: Face Truth
Amir's fiancée, Solaya, has a terrible past.
When she was young, she eloped with an Afghan youth, which became a stain on her life.
Soraya loves Amir deeply, but she must face the truth.
She knows that the more she hides, the more she will want to cover up.
Hiding the truth is like burying a dud bomb, which may be contaminated with flames at any time and detonate, turning love into nothing.
On the day Amir came to propose to him, the two walked hand in hand, confessing to each other in the sunset to their lover.
Those unbearable pasts did not become a barrier between the two, but instead narrowed the distance between them and consolidated the walls of love.
Facing the truth is a tortuous process.
People will always hesitate in the middle of the way, or even suddenly turn back.
But to what extent a person can face the truth, how much can he gain the courage to live and the strength to grow.
The movie "He Doesn't Like You That Much" has this plot:
The girl Gigi has just gone through a date and the whole process is romantic and comfortable.
She was hopeful and felt that the two would have a chance to further develop their relationship.
But after some time, the man never called her.
She began to deceive herself, frantically whitewashing such "accidents":
"I'm sure he just lost his number."
"He didn't dare ask me out, he must have been frightened by his own success."
She made up all kinds of reasons for herself, but refused to admit it: the man, in fact, did not like herself so much.
The bar owner Alex was blunt:
"If a guy doesn't call you for more than a week, he's not interested in meeting you again."
There are almost no feelings of love at first sight in this world.
It is always based on countless rejections, sadness, and running-ins.
Weaving a beautiful dream for yourself, refusing to face reality, in the end, it is just a waste of time.
Bi Shumin once said:
"If you feel that your true self is not perfect, you should gradually improve yourself, not perfunctory, cover up or deceive." 」
Although self-deception can obtain temporary pleasure, if you want to have a long-term relationship and a stable life, facing the truth is the best spice in life.
Family: Face responsibility head-on
After his father's death, Amir accidentally learns Hassan's true identity.
It turned out that Hassan, who had been driven away by him, was his father's illegitimate son and his brother.
In order to protect the amir family's property, Hassan offended the local armed groups and was shot in the street and his son was imprisoned.
Amir was caught in a dilemma.
He can choose to go home, like himself many years ago, as if nothing happened, and return to a quiet life.
But this time, he bravely set foot on his hometown.
He chose to rescue his own nephew, which is not only to make up for his father's past mistakes, but also to his relatives.
Lincoln once said:
"Everyone should have this confidence, I will be able to bear the responsibility that people can bear, and I can also bear the responsibility that others cannot bear."
Only in this way can you hone yourself, seek higher knowledge, and enter a higher realm. ”
Man expects freedom, but he is also bound by responsibility.
Life must know the pain of responsibility, in order to know the joy of responsibility.
In "Anne of Green Gables", there is such a story:
Anne was an orphan who was raised by a pair of siblings who lived in Green Gables because of her liveliness and understanding.
When she grew up, she successfully entered Queen's College, and in only one year she obtained a first-class teacher certificate and a university scholarship.
Life unfolded in front of her a new broad avenue.
But the accident happened suddenly: the adoptive father died suddenly because of the loss of his belongings, and the adoptive mother was nearly blind because of an eye disease.
She gave up her life in the big city and instead returned to Green Gables to work as a village teacher, single-mindedly caring for her adoptive mother.
She said:
"When we look at responsibility with openness, responsibility always becomes our friend."
Such a choice seems to make Anne's life narrow, but here are green gables that get along day and night, Marilla who is as close as family, and Diana, who is warm and kind...
All the beautiful things here will continue to accompany her to grow, and she still loves the grass and trees of her hometown with full enthusiasm.
There was a discussion on the Internet: What is growing up?
A highly praised reply said:
"Growing up, it is in a certain moment, suddenly found that there is a responsibility that must be borne." 」
The biggest change in a person when he grows up is to understand responsibility and learn to take it.
When I was a child, I didn't quite understand why my parents could get up so early every day.
When they grew up, they realized that it was not the alarm clock that woke them up, but the responsibility of life.
The path of true growth must be related to love.
Keeping love fresh for a long time must be related to responsibility.
Facing the responsibility directly can let the people who care about enjoy the watering of love and bring bright light to life.
Self: Face up to identity
The country is in turmoil and the nation is weak.
Re-embarking on his homeland, Amir has mixed feelings.
Many years ago, he was a rich young master with a carefree life.
Because of the war, he left his hometown and lost his former wealth, and the strange city reminded him that everything had to start again, including his identity.
Compared to the refugees stranded in Afghanistan, he was lucky.
Relying on his own efforts and diligence, he was able to complete his studies and settle in a foreign country.
Li Ruotong once said in "Good Life":
"It's normal for a person to be at a peak forever.
It is good to be on stage, but there are always times when you step down, you are not afraid to step down, and what you are really afraid of is that you have not understood identity conversion. ”
Regardless of our current identity, we have the freedom to be anyone and the consciousness to lose our past identity.
There is a story in "Wisdom Backpack":
Because Director Zhao of a certain county is proud, he often invites guests to his home for dinner, and one of the most skilled dishes is called "pork sauerkraut stew noodles".
Guests who have come here have praised the delicious taste of sauerkraut.
After each meal, guests receive two bags of sauerkraut each.
One day, Director Zhao invited Xiao Li, a hand-pulled cadre, as a guest.
At the end of last year, Director Zhao had just stepped down, and Xiao Li had already taken his place.
Xiao Li still praised the sauerkraut on the table, the two talked and laughed happily, and before leaving, Xiao Li received 6 bags of sauerkraut from Director Zhao.
Director Zhao was quite relieved to have sent away his old friend, but just as he was about to turn around, he inadvertently found:
Xiao Li staggered to the garbage can and threw the bag in his hand accurately.
The sound of "poof" appeared clear and dull in the quiet of the night.
I once heard such a sentence:
"Every identity of man is self-abduction, and only loss is the way to freedom."
Past identities remind us to keep improving, and future identities make us look forward to life.
On the first day of school in September, many children were asked, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" ”
"Scientists, people's teachers, dancers, astronauts..."
Their eyes lit up, and the dreams in their mouths seemed within reach.
But sober people know that everyone has to learn and master the skills they have before they can achieve something.
The identity of the past is gone, and we don't have to be too nostalgic.
Future identities beckon you, and we must go through many tests.
There is no immutable identity in this world.
Face the identity of the present, so as not to be bound by the past identity, so that the future identity becomes false and illusory.
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The writer Milan Kundera once said:
"To escape from pain, the most common thing is to hide in the future."
Escape may be useful, but every escape and compromise is the beginning of the abyss.
Only facing it head-on is the first step to victory.
The only thing we can escape, I'm afraid, is the escape itself.
Finally, I would like to share a sentence from Teacher Luo Xiang:
"When the god of fate pushes you into a moment of bravery, I hope you can be as brave as you think."
There are scholars and friends to encourage.