For the dream of love, I think many people are the same as the Purple Xia Fairy:
"My crush is a hero of the world, and one day he will marry me in a golden armor and a rainbow of clouds."
But how much suffering will each other have to go through before he steps on the colorful clouds and holds your hand?
Some people say that the pain in love may be self-chosen, but the tribulations in love are inevitable.
Take your time, who doesn't love through thorns and mountains?
During this time, there are contradictions, quarrels, tears, heartbreak, and even breakups.
Is a breakup really the end of a relationship? not necessarily.
Sometimes I choose to be estranged from each other for a while in order to make myself look at this love more objectively and manage this relationship more rationally.
Like a flame rekindled in the ashes, love can be reborn at the right time.
Compounding is the desire of many people's hearts, and it is the redemption of the feelings that have never been put down.
01
One morning last week, as soon as I walked into the office, I felt the joyous atmosphere.
The prettiest girl in our department is getting married.
I opened the invitation on the table, and in the photo of her and the bridegroom-to-be, I saw a lot of happiness and joy.
"Huh? This man is not..."
After listening to the comments of my colleagues at lunch, I was more certain of my own ideas.
The bride-to-be was indeed her ex-boyfriend, whom we had seen before at the company dinner.
This invitation piqued my curiosity because I was under the impression that they had broken up.
"Didn't they just break up half a year ago?" I held my own glass of water and pretended to speak carelessly.
"Oh, your news is too ill-informed." It was a fake breakup, and people had been back together for months. The female colleague next to me answered me with a smile.
"That is, you don't know this." It is really jealous, her husband is really good, it is said that at that time they were separated for a long time, his husband continued to take care of Xiao Zhang as before. "I smelled sour in my colleague's words.
"Is it?" I smiled and said, "Then what you mean is that he chased Xiao Zhang again." ”
"Not even, Xiao Zhang told me that her husband had three performances during the breakup, which shows that he is sincere." So she offered to come back together. I also have to remember these three points, in case he is like this after I break up with my boyfriend, then I will also get back together with him, hahaha. ”
The colleague said with a flying eyebrow, while sending a voice to the boyfriend, "In a few days, I will attend my colleague's wedding, you have to give me time to spare!" ”
"Which three manifestations?" Tell me about it. ”
02
Keep in touch after the breakup, whether you really want to save this relationship, mainly depends on these three points.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > after starting to contact again, is the other party hot and cold? </h1>
A lot of times, the ex contacted us, but there was no regularity.
He may have chatted with you on WeChat until midnight the day before, accompanied you to watch movies and go shopping, but after a few days, the world evaporated. I don't even reply to messages.
If this is the case, it means that he is not really trying to save it.
His attitude toward you is determined by his own needs at the time.
There is no compound planning, only looking for you when you need it, it must be a hot and cold attitude.
For example:
Suddenly addicted to a game, leaving you behind;
It's almost Valentine's Day to find yourself still single, maybe looking for an ex to fill the void;
Recently, I had a hot chat with a new girl, and I still have kung fu to manage you.
Therefore, if it is only an occasional and irregular connection, then there is no plan in the other party's heart to save feelings;
If it is a regular and firm connection, then the other party regrets being separated and paving the way for their own salvation.
< h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" did you do anything substantial and changed during the > contact? </h1>
At the end of the relationship, there must be problems and contradictions between each other.
Maybe it's a communication problem; maybe it's not enough time to spend; maybe it's that they have different personalities and ways of doing things.
If the other party does not even consider the reason for the breakup, or knows why they are separated, but still goes their own way, then he has no compound planning.
Like what:
Once broke up because of communication problems, he obviously knew, but now he still did not explain the dispute in the past, and still did not open the words when encountering problems;
Once separated because of insufficient companionship, but now he still appears every three or five minutes, evaporating from time to time in the world;
He used to be separated because of his way of doing things and personality, but now he still goes his own way and has not changed in the slightest.
He may have spoken nicely and reflected on the past, but he just didn't do anything substantive to repair the relationship.
And a person who wants to seriously save, in the re-contact with each other, will definitely let the other party see their substantive changes.
But if you want to use your ex as a love spare tire, just want to get benefits from the other party, rather than getting back together, then naturally he will not make any changes and adjustments.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > is the emotional output unidirectional or bidirectional during contact? </h1>
Even if the frequency of contact with each other is stable, the other party has a certain change.
But in dealing with negative emotions, you can also see what purpose he has in re-contact with you.
When both parties are in a good mood, chatting and getting along can naturally be enjoyable. Once there is a problem with the mood of one party, it is not so.
Simply put, it is whether the other person is willing to accept your negative emotions, or simply use you as a trash can to vent your negative emotions.
People who really want to save the compound will understand one thing:
That is, when the other person shows a vulnerable side, it is a good opportunity for themselves. Because the comfort and companionship at this time will be more intimate, and it will be easier to enter the inner world of the other party again.
So if you want to save himself, he will definitely seize this opportunity, listen patiently and comfort you.
And those who don't want to save their hearts, they will only dump their own garbage emotions on you. And for your negative emotions, they don't want to listen at all, let alone help you to solve them.
They usually just say, "I know." "It's all right." "Don't talk about this, just be happy" and so on.
03
The person who hopes to save in his heart will give you a lot of things.
Understanding, trust, support, and most importantly, preference.
It was originally this life and this life that were already confused, and the mountains and rivers were empty of sorrow, but he was bent on waiting for you.
May your love go through a storm and finally see the stars.
Just in response to the sentence: You smooth out the edges and corners for me, and I put on a wedding dress for you.
-END-
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[This article is originally produced by Yijiang to the South, plagiarism must be investigated / The picture comes from the Network, invaded and deleted]