There are three thousand floating worlds, and my love has three, the sun, the moon and the qing.
Author / Miwan
Typesetting / Miwan
Article word count /2880 words
Reading time / 6 minutes
Write on the front:
If a murderer holds a knife and wants to rob you, please ask you whether you are "deadly" or "want chastity", most girls may choose "chastity" after hesitation, after all, "you can kill without shame".
But there was a woman who did not hesitate to choose "death", in order to survive, she forced a smile and tried her best to serve the murderer well, only to escape. This woman is Tang Xiaoyan from the northeast countryside.
The scene just now is a past event that really happened to her.
At the age of 17, she was dragged into the woods and violated, she went to work as a waiter in a restaurant, and was targeted by the boss. She had run a massage parlor and knew all too well what men wanted.
She felt that her life was too bad, so she ran to tell fortunes, and she really changed her life.
At the fortune teller, she met the noble man of her life, documentary filmmaker Xu Tong, who was the first man to make her feel unattractive.
She went to the cell for the crime and asked Xu Tong for help, and Xu Tong scraped together 70,000 yuan to free her from prison. The first thing she said to Xu Tong when she came out of prison was: "From now on, my life is yours." ”
Xu Tong said: "I don't want your life, I'm a director, I want to make a documentary, I hope you can appear, can you?"
Tang Xiaoyan agreed without saying a word:
In 2009, the documentary "Fortune Telling" with Tang Xiaoyan as the protagonist was born, and she was so hot and straightforward in the camera, so real, and so desperately struggling at the bottom of society.
For this documentary, Tang Xiaoyan won the Real Person Award at the annual exhibition of independent films in China.
At the award ceremony, her words made everyone remember her at once, she said this:
Since then, in the cultural circle of documentaries, she has begun to become famous.
After that, she and Xu Tong filmed a number of documentaries reflecting the people at the bottom together, and won many awards.
In 2013, Dou Wentao's talk show "Three's Trip" welcomed a female guest known as the "most fierce" in history, Dou Wentao said frankly: "When I saw her, my liver trembled." This female guest is Tang Xiaoyan.
Now Tang Xiaoyan is a producer and a contracted photographer, and she carries her camera to record the most real life. She completely entered the upper class and lived a completely different life.
From a "mixed girl in rivers and lakes" to a "cultural celebrity", what did Tang Xiaoyan do right?
01
Toughness: Fight the unbeatable Xiaoqiang
Tang Xiaoyan's original family is not good, her father does not care for her mother and does not love, she was violated at the age of 17, and she did not dare to tell her family, because home has never been her warm haven.
So, she chose to go out to work, young and attractive, she was harassed by the owner of the restaurant, and she also encountered murderers with knives and robbers.
She got married, but was cheated and abandoned by her husband. So, she was alone again and continued to wander.
I finally made some money, and I was looted again.
Seeing this, do you think Tang Xiaoyan is miserable, the movie does not dare to shoot like this, it is too miserable, and another person may not want to live.
But Tang Xiaoyan values her life very preciously, and she believes: "As long as you live, something good will happen." ”
This is a resilient woman, a Xiaoqiang who can never die. This is a person who chooses life itself even if he is tormented by life. Isn't this exactly what Romain Roland calls a real warrior?
Anyone who falls unwillingly will sooner or later be eliminated by society, and being a resilient person should be our lifelong pursuit.
02
Rigidity: tougher than men
In 2006, Tang Xiaoyan, who had been cornered, found an industry that was out of the door - opening a massage parlor.
Opening a massage parlor is to make money, but it's a dangerous industry. There are fish and dragons here, there are everyone, some people are in debt, some people stalk her, some people squeeze her.
After talking to no less than 30 men, she no longer believed in love, she said: "As long as women are not particularly ugly, but whenever there is a little gesture, there are always men who think about you, but they just want to look at you and don't want to protect you." ”
She is a person who is far from happiness, and in private, she will cry and say to her goddaughter:
So she had to rely on herself. For her, the best identity of a man is not a lover, but a buddy. In those years, she mixed all the men around her into buddies. In those years, she made herself tougher than men.
If anyone does not offend me, I do not offend anyone, and if anyone offends me, I will damn him.
Yes, the vicious dog bites us, we will never bite the dog back, but we can hit it with a stick. This is Tang Xiaoyan's rigidity.
She no longer pinned her hopes on men,
This rigidity forced by the environment and fate makes her a person who does not miss the past and is not afraid of the future.
We are the lucky majority, we do not have the same tragic experience as Tang Xiaoyan, but we must learn a precious spirit from her, that is: at every stage, first become a fearless self, light to the left, freedom to the right.
03
Flexibility: Kindness and Knowledge
Tang Xiaoyan herself is a miserable person, but when she sees even worse people, she can't help but help them, such as donating some money to beggars on the side of the road and giving the saved bottles to the grandpa and aunt who picked up the tattered.
When a female student wanted to work in her massage parlor, she said, "This is not the place you should be." ”
After cooperating with director Xu Tong to make several documentaries, Xu Tong said this to her:
Yes, this is Tang Xiaoyan, life kisses her painfully, but she returns with a song. It was precisely because of this that Xu Tong would recognize this horse at first glance.
She is also a person who knows grace and reports.
Once a documentary of Xu Tong was found fault by six or seven people, Tang Xiaoyan immediately became angry, how could she see her benefactor suffering from this kind of grievance, she shouted to Xu Tong: "You are all cultural people, you can't scold or beat, I have no culture, I'm mixed, I'm out." ”
The people who came to look for trouble, as soon as they saw such a fierce woman there, full of the atmosphere of rivers and lakes, they quickly withdrew.
The two of them have achieved each other, Bole has achieved Maxima, and Maxima has also achieved Bóle.
Write at the end:
Many people say that Tang Xiaoyan is a good fate and met Xu Tong, a noble man. But have you ever thought about how bad her life was before?
When bad luck came, she didn't hide, relying on her toughness, rigidity, and flexibility to survive, so one day, she and good luck collided.
Now Tang Xiaoyan no longer exports dirty, and no longer waves her fists, she now reads, photographs, travels, and thinks.
But some people still cling to the stain on her past, saying that she has opened a massage parlor and been in prison.
What I'm trying to say is: what right do we have to blame someone else's past, and if you don't put on someone else's shoes for two years, you don't have any say.
Even if the sun shines on all things, there are still many sunspots on the body, and it is impossible for people or things in the world to be without shortcomings.
At that time, what can she do, it is good to be alive, once she was just a marginal person struggling at the bottom of society, and she needed us to understand and help, not to condemn and ridicule.
In Tang Xiaoyan, I confirmed a truth: sometimes fate gives you a lower starting point than others, just to tell you, let you spend your life to fight a story of Jedi counterattack.
Today is November 4, 2022, and winter is still going to begin in two days,
Above, exhortation. ♥️
Click "Watching"
After reading what I think is helpful to you, I hope you can take 0.1 seconds to like it~
Your small likes will always be the driving force for me to continue creating, thank you~ ♥️
Good morning! [Rose]
Today is the 18th day (18/365) of my Early Riser Discipline Program
♥️
- End
About the author:
Miwan, three thousand floating worlds, three of my love, sun, moon and qing. I'm going to trade a 365-day early self-discipline plan for a reborn self after 365 days, and I'm patient and determined enough to face any results and comments.