Pictures like the following may be familiar to everyone.
Beijing, Shanghai... Walking on the street, occasionally you will really see such a "big scene" - blind date corner.
Fathers and mothers who are anxious about their unmarried children print out their children's "resumes" for people to see, from height and weight to real estate and salary... Large white papers are placed on the ground, and if you don't look carefully, you think that it is a talent market for recruitment.
One of the characteristics of the blind date corner is that there are few unmarried people of the right age, but the elderly who are close to old age are the protagonists of this world.
However, such things are not unique to our country. In recent years, Japanese fathers and mothers, known for their "low-desire society," have also become more and more anxious.
"We are an organization for parents to go on blind dates, with chapters across the country."
This blind date company called "Liangyuan" only does this kind of business - organizing a "parent agency blind date party".
Looking at the president's outfit, you can know that their family has a good business.
Founded in 2005, Liangyuan has held 578 "proxy dating parties" with more than 43,000 parents attending the venue.
The simple process of "Good Relationship Parents Blind Date Meeting":
- Parents attend blind dates on behalf of their children, share information to find their favorite daughter-in-law/son-in-law, and exchange photos and personal information with each other;
- Parents bring home the information of their favorite candidates, and it is up to the children to decide whether to continue the blind date;
- If they wish to continue, the participating parents will contact each other and pass the baton to their children. If the child refuses to go further, the other party's information must be returned by post.
In short, it means that parents first audition, children then "palace selection" (the original meaning of temple selection please refer to the first episode of Zhen Huan's biography).
Of course, this kind of seemingly luxurious venue is not just a walk-in, and participants need to pay a certain amount of membership fees regularly to be eligible to see each other.
A cursory look at the list of participants (or participants) shows that most of these unmarried children are around 40 years old, and there are many over 50 years old, and most of them have never been married.
The 53-year-old unmarried man, who is 1.8 meters tall, must be over 70 years old for his parents attending the conference.
This is the scene of a blind date meeting held by the Kyoto branch in August.
Most of the elderly people at the venue were dressed elegantly and behaved modestly, and at first glance, they looked more like the courtship scene of the "sunset red blind date".
A male mother over the age of 45 successfully attracted the mother of another woman in her 40s with the label "sports-loving". The two chatted happily from baseball games to holiday entertainment, and finally successfully "paired" and exchanged photos and information.
The other two old people chatted speculatively at first, but in the end, because the distance between the two was too far, there was no follow-up.
"My daughter and I have always lived in Osaka, my daughter works in Osaka, and she doesn't plan to leave because she gets married, so we have to find someone close to us."
The word "marriage urging" is a familiar "nightmare" for Chinese marriageable young people, so do young people in Japan have a similar concept of "marriage urging"?
"Surrogate blind date" is such a thing..." For my child, who is not interested in marriage, through the matchmaker, find a door-to-door match" like this, this is simply a return to the marriage model of the Showa era.
Now this era is the era of "parents urging marriage",
Although I feel that living alone is both fulfilling and comfortable,
But parents just don't think so.
Be sure to impose a so-called "lifetime trust" on you.
"Blind date" hahahaha~
How retro!
A long, long time ago, a friend's great-grandmother came home from farm work and found the family eating tempura together, and when she wondered what was going on, she was told "It's your wedding." The man is the lewd man from the same village. The great-grandmother, who shouted "I don't want to", ran out of the house barefoot and panicked, but was eventually caught back and married—that's how it felt, hahahaha.
The "blind date" thing is intriguing. The owner of the blind date company found out: "Oh, young people don't come on blind dates", and if they can't earn young people's money, they go to earn their parents' money, and the profiteers who change the soup and do not change the medicine.
It is not so much a trend as a target for the pockets and business opportunities of the older generation who are rich and oily.
Although Japan does not have a wide resonance with "marriage urging", the term "poisonous relatives" has always been widely known.
Toxic relatives: Fathers who have a negative impact on their children's lives and want to control their children's lives.
Ms. Uekusa, from another marriage company, said: Such a "blind date" leads to the "emotional abyss" of "toxic relatives" treating their children as "private products".
Emma, an unmarried woman of school age interviewed, also said that her mother has interfered with her choice for many years, and several good marriage partners have been strongly opposed by her mother after being introduced to her mother, and by now, Emma has spent 10 years in such a cycle of frustration.
Dating a foreigner? No way!
Met on the web? No way!
People who can be entrusted with life in Emma's eyes are crooked and improper in the eyes of her mother. The mother, who prides herself on "I know you best, he is not suitable for you", interfered for 10 consecutive years, leaving Emma almost exhausted and almost losing the desire to get married.
In a Japanese social survey, 82.2% of marriages opposed by parents survived, and the divorce rate accounted for only 17.3%, which is more than double the average divorce rate in Japan (37%).
However, from another point of view, there are indeed more and more elderly people participating in the "matchmaking match" queue.
The reason is that children's retreat attitude towards love, declining desire to marry, and low birthrate are all factors that need to be considered. Simply blaming the problem on "poisonous relatives" is not objective.
The professor, who always can't open his eyes, said that his son is the kind of person who seems to have less desire to marry, but if he does not communicate seriously with his son to figure out whether his son "does not want to get married" or "does not have time to think", the matter will never be solved.
The boss of "Liangyuan" also said that many of the parents attending the meeting came because of their children's requests - their children's careers are too successful, and they really don't have time to engage in marriage, so it is reasonable to want the people closest to them to check for them first. (Although I don't know how credible this rich man's words are... ）
Although the wave of comments on the Internet for "acting on behalf of blind dates" is mostly opposed, it does not rule out the possibility that "those who want their parents to help with blind dates are really too busy to have time, let alone time to write comments".
The bond between parents and children is not a question of right and wrong, but a discourse that can never be solved. Perhaps, when it is our turn to face such problems, there will be a lot of unspeakable bitterness and grievances, but before we say blame and resentment, we can also think a little about the "original intention" from our parents - after all, they really want to make us happy, but they don't know what to do.
Eat Chinese taste on "Hi Japan" online product store! More than 1000 kinds of Chinese products & late-night snacks and snacks