Why did Cheng Lu and Si Wen of "Talk Show Conference" divorce?

Friends who like to watch talk shows must know Cheng Lusiwen, a (former) couple.

With the popularity of "Talk Show Convention" 5, the former divorced couple was once again rushed to the hot search.

The last time the two of them were on the hot search together, it was 2020, when the two of them openly divorced on Weibo. They wrote in the Weibo copy: "From husband and wife to true brothers, they will be close friends in life and career partners in the future." ”

One

Many people know Si Wen and Cheng Lu from the beginning of the passage.

When talking about the relationship, she said: "Don't believe what men say, I am responsible for earning money and supporting the family, and you are responsible for being beautiful as a flower." Even if you are as beautiful as a flower, if you look at it for a long time, how to look at you is "like a flower". "Throw out the awkward situation of a housewife directly.

When she teased her husband, she said:

"You treat your husband as a brother, when you sleep, the double bed is replaced by a bunk bed, and your husband is your brother who sleeps on the bunk bed. Giving birth to a child, caesarean section is not to insert a knife for the brother's two ribs, what is this? ”

Even sometimes, even the mother-in-law has become the protagonist of her paragraphs. "It's not difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along at all, as long as they are willing to spend money."

In Si Wen's eyes, life is all fun, even divorce is happy. When talking about the "post-college entrance examination divorce boom", she said: Children are admitted to Tsinghua, husband and wife divorce, how good, double happiness at the door.

In the eyes of others, the divorce event was said by her lightly, and there was even some joy.

The Siwen on the screen doesn't seem to be upset.

But in fact, Si Wen has not always been so optimistic, she and Cheng Lu are not happy at the beginning, there has been a conflict of values between them. Shortly after getting married, Cheng Lu quit her translation job and began preparing to do "freelance translation" and talk show screenwriting, with an unstable job, let alone an income, and often idle at home.

SiWen said that during that time, they always quarreled, but Cheng Lu was an optimist, and he believed that as long as he insisted on doing what he liked, he could definitely make money.

But Si Wen had the idea of settling down. Perhaps values were once a estrangement between two people, but as Cheng Lu's work got better and better, Siwen could clearly see the future, and their values began to become highly consistent: "I want to live a free and rich life." ”

In 2015, the couple signed a contract with Xiaoguo Culture from Shenzhen to Shanghai, becoming a professional talk show actor, a professional talk show screenwriter, and a real colleague.

In Xiaoguo, no one paid attention to her, only as an appendage of Cheng Lu, she described the outside world's doubts as the woman who others thought she was "sleeping with the chief screenwriter", and she "modestly" explained, "Rest assured, old husband and wife, will not sleep." ”

Her parents divorced since childhood, and she mentioned this matter in the performance, saying that every year when she saw her parents in the New Year, she had to say something bad about the other party to make the other party happy.

Cheng Lu has a period of time frequent job change, the breadwinner is Siwen, she once collapsed to no, to the talk show, it became "women don't ask how much men can earn you, ask yourself, how much money can you make for men." ”

Two years later, Si Wen successfully walked to the front of the screen and won the third place in the "Talk Show Conference", and the video also frequently exploded on the Internet. Although Cheng Lu rarely appears, she is an excellent screenwriter behind the talk show actors and has created many widely circulated passages.

But not as good as the wife Siwen "fire" was scolded by many people as a "soft rice man". Cheng Lu did not care in front of others, and even wrote a paragraph to ridicule himself: "If one day divorces, what should the soft rice man do?" Only the next independent woman can be found. ”

In the talk show of these two people, most of them are spitting on each other, and perhaps spitting on each other is the mode of getting along between their husband and wife.

Unlike traditional Chinese couples, they seem to have no topics that they can't talk about, good or bad, and even attack each other, in the eyes of others, there is no measure, but they themselves are happy.

Si Wen said that she and Cheng Lu have many differences, but the biggest similarity is the laughter point, and it is precisely this that makes them come to the present.

The couple, known as the most consistent laugh in the country, took a trip, but never lived a lifetime. Many people say, why is their lifestyle obviously interesting, but in the end they are separated?

Two

The two of them talked about divorce terrier not once or twice, in tonight's post-80s talk show, Cheng Lu predicted:

Once, he imagined that he was super rich and how romantic he would be, and told a very interesting "divorce strategy".

In his imagination, he and his wife Siwen went shopping and walked in the square.

He suddenly pointed to the big screen and said, "Wife, look! ”

Then a few words on the big screen – wife, let's get a divorce!

At this time, many people who were hired in advance jumped out, clapped their hands and shouted: "Divorce! Divorce! Divorce! ”

Then he got down on one knee and said, "Wife, I have a word that I have wanted to tell you for many years, so let's leave!" ”

Then the person next to him became more energetic and clapped his hands in unison: "Promise him!" Promise him! Promise him! ”

At this time, Siwen was already in tears and said to him: "Husband, in all these years, this is the most romantic thing you have ever done." ”

"I promise you, we'll never be together."

After 4 years, re-watching this talk show is inexplicably sad.

In an interview with Si Wen and Cheng Lu, they mentioned their marital status at that time:

Siwen said:

"In the past year, there have been real twists and turns, I have been sick for surgery, my grandmother and father have left one after another, and I hope that Cheng Lu will be around at the most vulnerable time, and someone can talk.

But during that time, Cheng Lu was the busiest, a few months of closed creation, not even a phone call time. I did the surgery myself, and I survived that time alone. When I was pushed out of the operating room, Cheng Lu came for 20 minutes and said, you look very good, if you are okay, byebye. ”

During this time, Siwen understood a truth, loneliness is the norm in life, and marriage will not change this loneliness.

In the most difficult time of life, you must have the consciousness of your own. This seems to be a joke of the truth, I don't know how many times Siwen has been sad behind his back.

But pretending to be relaxed is the most terrible existence in marriage.

All separations are premeditated, and if the core of comedy is tragedy, then the core of separation is probably not happy enough.

In "Send a Hundred Girls Home", Si Wen finally found an opportunity to say the reason for her divorce:

She and Cheng Lu are not in agreement with the three views, she is not impulsively divorced, she gave Cheng Lu advice, hoping that Cheng Lu can do it. Cheng Lu did not panic, but said that he would work hard and did not dare to guarantee that he could do it. But in the end, it really didn't. ”

And, Si Wen also said, "She gave Cheng Lu three chances." ”

For example, two people are busy at work, and the time is not right. For example, she had "kidney stones", the most important moment - Cheng Lu was busy at work and had no companionship.

When I arrived at the hospital, just three minutes later, I said: "I see that you are also very good, then, I still have something to go back to overtime." I'm gone..."

For example, no matter what Siwen said, Cheng Lu felt unreliable, even if only in words, he could not give support and affirmation.

As well as the repair of large and small objects in the home, the placement of things, and so on, all of which are handled by Siwen himself. Si Wen felt that the two people were together, and still felt lonely, no different from him alone.

Sometimes when she returns home and looks at the figure of Cheng Lu's husband, she can't feel a little fireworks, she can only order a takeaway, and cry while eating.

Once Si Wen had a fever, Cheng Lu was on a business trip, Si Wen called Cheng Lu and said, "Husband, I feel bad", and then Cheng Lu said, "You open the door immediately", Si Wen was very happy to open the door, but found that there was nothing. Then ask: Husband, where are you? Cheng Lu: "I'm on a business trip!" Si Wen: "Then why did you let me open the door?" Cheng Lu: "Opening the door and ventilating is good for the body." ”

In the interview after the breakup, Siwen reflected that they are usually too independent and will not interfere with each other's lives, which is good, but everything has a degree, and they have lived this "degree".

SiWen's dream was financial freedom and time freedom.

As a result, after divorcing Cheng Lu, it was all realized. She bought the first apartment in her life in Xi'an, a house that really belonged to herself, how to decorate how to decorate, how to decorate how to decorate the room.

In fact, Si Wen's childhood was different from Cheng Lu's. Cheng Lu did not really understand this. Si Wen's grandmother divorced 2 times, her father 2 times, her mother 5 times, and her aunt was divorced. Therefore, when she was a child, she felt that if she got married in the future, she would definitely divorce.

Her loneliness, Cheng Lu had never understood.

At the same time, to avoid this harm, she wrapped herself tightly. Perhaps Cheng Lu had never understood what was deep in Si Wen's heart.

Si Wen is not as optimistic as Cheng Lu, she has a lot of things that she is uneasy about, but Cheng Lu's various methods will only make Si Wen more and more disappointed in the end.

Although Si Wen said that choosing to be with Cheng Lu was his companionship and understanding, in fact, this was just Si Wen's lies to deceive others and herself, if she didn't care, the wedding vow would not be: "Do more work, make more money." ”

Si Wen is down-to-earth, Cheng Lu is artistic, he does not want to be bound by chai rice oil and salt, still being his stupid child.

Three

So for us, how do we avoid losing the opportunity to really get love because of "false independence"?

In order not to be hurt by marriage, she first made herself very independent, independent enough to become a brother with her husband, and hinted at herself:

Marriage is dispensable to me, and I won't be sad to lose it.

But is that really the case?

I think her heart still has emotional needs for her partner, and she also needs companionship, support, and intimate connection.

But their "roommate" marriage did not meet her needs.

That's why she summed up the reason for the divorce as being too independent of each other, and maybe her subtext is: I'm not alone, I still need each other.

1. Occasionally show weakness

Such as: getting along with colleagues is not pleasant, work pressure is too much, and even feel that they are fat, do not know which dress to choose...

You can tell your partner that I'm not ok right now, and I don't think I can do it, it's not good.

2. Express your needs to your partner appropriately

If you need the other person, then tell him. As:

• I'm so sad now that I want you to be with me.
• You've been so busy lately that I feel neglected, coax me.

Whether it's showing weakness or expressing needs, it's important to make your partner feel like you're needed.

3, you can often do something to increase emotions

No need for elaborate romantic surprises, just do some small things in life, such as:

• 2 people watch a movie together.
• Agree on intimate little rituals, such as kissing before bedtime and holding hands for a walk.
• 1 day of the month, you must dress according to the other person's preferences.
• Try different types of sex.
• ……

Four

When Cheng Lu recalled the quarrel in "Talk Show Conference", he would call Siwen "the other party's defense friend". It is a passage on the stage, but it is the real idea in the hearts of many people.

When we are accustomed to using victory or defeat to determine the position in the other person's mind, whenever a problem arises, we no longer want to solve it, but choose our own "arguments" and fight to the end.

However, there is no referee in love, how do we decide the winner or loser?

Love requires the participation of two individuals, but an intimate relationship needs to be managed together, and one is indispensable. It's not a 100-meter sprint of its own, but more like a two-man three-legged sprint that needs to be cooperative and synchronized.

It's easy to say that it's easy to back down, but it's hard to put it into practice. First think about the question: After barely winning or losing, what do you really want? Is it the other half who does not accept our point of view, or the ta who respects each other after giving in and communicating?

Regardless of victory or defeat, no matter joy or anger, as Siwen said, any result of PK in intimate relationships always needs to be borne and digested by yourself. Is it just that these results are something you can afford?

In intimate relationships, a momentary win or loss is not so important, especially when this peer is a lifelong companion.

"Home is not a place of reason, home is a place of love." Si Wen said this sentence, Cheng Lu wanted to give it to everyone.