In 1961, at the age of 62, Weng Ruiwu was admitted to the Chinese and Western Hospital for lung disease.
In the face of the friends who came to visit, the rich young master, who was once a gentleman, used the greatest strength to hold his fist and bow his hand:
"In the future, please take more care of Xiao Man, I will be grateful under the Nine Springs."
When the friends present heard this, they all sighed without moving.
Since Xu Zhimo's death, Weng Ruiwu has taken on the task of taking care of Lu Xiaoman; And this unreserved offering lasted for 30 years. Even though 30 years of long cohabitation has never been famous, for Weng Ruiwu, Lu Xiaoman has become the most important existence in his life.
Even at the end of his life, he still couldn't rest assured of Lu Xiaoman, the woman who made him abandon his wife and children and sell his family wealth.
However, in the face of this affection, how did Lu Xiaoman treat it!
According to a friend Zhang Fangqian recalled:
At that time, when he went to Visit Weng Ruiwu at Lu Xiaoman's house, he was already dying; There were also "many strangers gathered in a small room, he was lying on a bed, his eyes were staring, and he couldn't speak anymore." ”
The room was very quiet, Zhang Fangqian shouted Weng Rui at noon, and the weak Weng Rui could still hear clearly, and turned his eyes to look at Zhang Fangqian.
Lu Xiaoman, who has lived with Weng Ruiwu for 30 years, sits alone in the rattan chair of the hall; Among all the people, only she was the farthest away from Weng Ruiwu, and the expression on her face was even more calm.
Many years later, Zhang Fangqian, who recalled this scene again, described Lu Xiaoman as: "There seems to be no color of grief that will never be said."
It was Lu Xiaoman's reaction that made his friend Zhang Fanghan a little confused:
Does Lu Xiaoman love Weng Ruiwu?
If you don't love, why do you want to live with Weng Ruiwu for 30 years in spite of gossip and embarrassment? If you love, why is there no sadness at the time of Weng Rui's death at noon, as if coldly watching a ridiculous drama.
Some answers are always hidden in the cracks of time, those mixed with love-hate-resentment feelings, controversial offerings, as early as when Weng Ruiwu and Lu Xiaoman met, it seems to be doomed to the answer.
【The acquaintance of Weng Ruiwu and Lu Xiaoman】
To put it bluntly: the triangular relationship that is constantly cut and rationalized seems to be the inevitability of Lu Xiaoman's feelings.
Married to Wang Geng in her early years, she fell in love with her husband's good friend Xu Zhimo; In order to pursue the ideal love, she will not hesitate to fall into the child with Wang Geng and also stay with Xu Zhimo.
Xu is the punishment of fate: a hasty abortion operation, leaving Lu Xiaoman infertile and left the root of the disease.
In order to heal Lu Xiaoman's body, Xu Zhimo went around looking for famous doctors.
When he learned that Weng Ruiwu, who was a master of medical skills, was a disciple of Ding Fengshan, the founder of Tuina, Xu Zhimo invited him to his home to treat his wife.
It can be said that it is also under the guidance of her husband that Lu Xiaoman met the third important man in his life.
Weng Ruiwu is a typical rich man.
Born in 1899, he has a prominent family since childhood; His father, Weng Shouqi, was a protégé of Weng Tonggong and was the governor of Wuzhou, Guangxi.
Unlike other clumsy children, Weng Ruiwu received a formal literati education from an early age, studied calligraphy and painting with Uncle Zhao, studied poetry with Weng Zhouyi, and later followed Ding Fengshan to learn Chinese medicine Tuina by coincidence.
Not only that, Weng Ruiwu is also good at writing books, small letters, flowers, and exporting chapters, and the collection at home is rich.
Such a wide range of interests and hobbies also made Weng Ruiwu and Xu Zhimo good friends; Out of trust in his friends, Xu Zhimo repeatedly invited Weng Rui to come into the house to condition Lu Xiaoman's body.
Lu Xiaoman likes Peking Opera Kunqu opera, and Weng Ruiwu, who has a wide range of hobbies, is even more knowledgeable about opera; 两人熟悉后，也经常探讨戏曲，并一起上台演出。
For Lu Xiaoman: The time spent with Weng Ruiwu made her feel extra free.
At this time, the marriage between Lu Xiaoman and Xu Zhimo was facing many tests.
Although Lu Xiaoman has received a Western-style education and is a high-achieving student of the Sacred Heart Academy in Beijing, he is very Chinese in his bones, and it is difficult for the three views to fit with Xu Zhimo, who is completely Westernized; And with the passage of time, the differences in the interests and hobbies of the two have become more and more obvious, and the two people with incompatible personalities often have fierce quarrels.
Weng Ruiwu, who appeared at this time, naturally became Lu Xiaoman's emotional sustenance; The two people, who have similar interests and hobbies, get along more harmoniously and harmoniously than Xu Zhimo.
It is also because of the appearance of Weng Ruiwu that the chaotic feelings of Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman have once again become the talk of the streets and alleys.
[Compress the living expenses of wives and daughters, and buy expensive clothes for Lu Xiaoman]
On November 19, 1931, Xu Zhimo went to Beiping to attend Lin Huiyin's lecture. Because he was not at ease with Lu Xiaoman's body, he specially asked Weng Ruiwu to take good care of Lu Xiaoman before leaving.
Unexpectedly, this entrustment became Xu Zhimo's dying trust.
A few days later, the news of Xu Zhimo's death in the plane came, and Lu Xiaoman was overly sad and fainted on the spot.
In order to take care of Lu Xiaoman, Weng Ruiwu directly lived in the smoke bed on the second floor; Lu Xiaoman, on the other hand, was in the bedroom on the third floor, washing his face with tears all day long.
Xu Zhimo's death had already made his father Xu Shenru bear the severe grief of "white-haired people sending black-haired people", and at this time, Lu Xiaoman, who was a daughter-in-law, lived with his friend Weng Ruiwu, which made Xu's father even more unacceptable.
He directly entrusted someone to tell Lu Xiaoman: If he still lived with Weng Ruiwu, he would cut off all living expenses thereafter.
Weng Ruiwu, who learned the news, should have chosen to avoid suspicion; But what people did not expect was that he directly moved to the third floor and announced to the outside world that he would take on the responsibility of taking care of Lu Xiaoman.
Living with Lu Xiaoman, Weng Ruiwu is considerate.
Every time Lu Xiaoman fell ill, he was a doctor and a servant, who not only grabbed medicine and decocted medicine, but also brought tea and water; Lu Xiaoman has something he wants to eat, even if he has to withstand the scorching sun and the cold wind, he also queues up to buy it home; Knowing that Lu Xiaoman did not drink milk, only human milk, Weng Rui invited her back to her mother at noon...
In addition to the exquisite and thoughtful diet, Weng Ruiwu is more responsive to Lu Xiaoman's needs in other aspects.
Knowing that her life is exquisite, Weng Ruiwu bought a pair of shoes for her for 600 silver dollars, customized high-end brand ready-to-wear for her, and even took the cleanest part of the snow at the top of the snowdrift in the cold and cooked "snow water tea" for her.
This is Weng Ruiwu's affection, but this affection is also full of affection and indifference to his wife and 5 children.
Yes, when Weng Ruiwu lived with Lu Xiaoman, he already had a virtuous wife and five lovely children.
Counting the small family with Lu Xiaoman, Weng Ruiwu has to support a total of three families, his own home with his original wife, the family of his half-brother (including his sister-in-law and 9 children), living with Lu Xiaoman for several years, and all the expenses of Lu Xiaoman's two nephews are also responsible for Weng Ruiwu.
In order to meet the huge expenses of several families, Weng Ruiwu tried various careers: managing accounts for people, speculating in stocks, working as an accountant... This former famous disciple has busied himself into a top, and has also sold furniture, calligraphy and paintings in his ancestral property to make a living.
But even if the pressure of life is huge, Weng Ruiwu has always been obedient to Lu Xiaoman.
In order to satisfy Lu Xiaoman's profligacy, he even reduced the living expenses of his wife and daughter to purchase expensive clothing for Lu Xiaoman; Knowing that Lu Xiaoman could not have children, he tried to give the little daughter born to the original partner to Lu Xiaoman to raise.
It can be said that Weng Ruiwu almost poured everything out to Lu Xiaoman; In the 30 years of long sustenance, he has always been humble to protect the peace and joy of landing Xiao Man.
But the same thing: the endless care and love that Lu Xiaoman received from Weng Ruiwu was also a great harm and deprivation of Weng Ruiwu's original partner, Chen Mingliu, and the children.
By 1951, Chen Mingliu, who was depressed, died, and he did not see the last side of her husband until his death.
Looking at her mother's desperate eldest daughter Weng Xiangguang, she ran to Lu Xiaoman's house with red and swollen eyes.
Pushing open the door and finding that his father Weng Ruiwu was indeed here, Weng Xiangguang could no longer suppress the raging anger in his heart, and he yelled at his father: "Why didn't you divorce your mother earlier?" If she gets divorced early, she can still find a good family and live a comfortable life for a few years! ”
Several sad questions made Weng Rui stunned in the same place and did not reply.
Unable to get his father's answer, Weng Xiangguang turned around and angrily asked Lu Xiaoman, "Why did you grab my father and hold on?" Why? Why? You said! You name it! ”
In the face of this child's roar, Lu Xiaoman, who was known for being selfish, did not know how to answer.
But for Lu Xiaoman: for so many years, she has long been accustomed to the existence of Weng Ruiwu, whether it is life or emotion, it is difficult for her to survive independently, and she needs the stability and companionship brought by Weng Ruiwu too much.
Later, some people said that Weng Ruiwu was obsessed with Lu Xiaoman's appearance before providing for her.
But later, she was old and yellow, withered, and her teeth fell out... Weng Ruiwu still did not let go; In order to ensure Lu Xiaoman's expenses, he even sold antique family property, and finally relied on the money sent by his daughter from Hong Kong to meet Lu Xiaoman's ability to eat and wear.
Even though this offering was too difficult, Weng Ruiwu still had no complaints.
【How about 30 years of long cohabitation?】 After he died, she looked on coldly.
Weng Ruiwu is a scumbag who abandons his wife and son, but only for Lu Xiaoman, he has used his heart.
However, this 30-year cohabitation life is limited to the relationship of support for Lu Xiaoman.
Even if she lives with Weng Ruiwu, she misses Xu Zhimo in her own way; Since Xu Zhimo's death, her reception room has always been placed with photos of her and Xu Zhimo from different periods, and the bedroom has always hung a large portrait of Xu Zhimo and a bouquet of flowers every day.
It is difficult to say that Lu Xiaoman is deeply in love with Xu Zhimo, because this seemingly affectionate nostalgia is bought at a huge cost in life.
Perhaps for Lu Xiaoman: her love always begins with loss.
Later, Lu Xiaoman decided to live as Xu Zhimo expected: to live in simplicity, bury his head in painting, and wear plain clothes for life...
And Weng Ruiwu, who accompanies and takes care of him, seems to have become an anachronistic existence.
It was also this unresponsive love that made Weng Ruiwu cheat with Lu Xiaoman's righteous daughter at the age of 60.
In the face of this cruel betrayal, Lu Xiaoman's response gave Weng Ruiwu an even bigger blow.
She didn't cry, she didn't complain, she just sighed lightly:
"Where do I get jealous?" I actually have no love for Weng Ruiwu for a long time, and the friendship between us is just a friendship between friends. ”
More than thirty years of feelings, finally by a sentence of "just friends" to carry! Such an answer also seems to doom Weng Ruiwu's infatuation to flow in vain.
Lu Xiaoman relies on Weng Ruiwu's care and support; But for the betrayal of the other party, she did not care, and the other party's life and death, she did not seem to care.
In 1961, Weng Ruiwu died of lung cancer, and before he died, he still could not let go of Lu Xiaoman, and specially entrusted her friends Zhao Qingge and Zhang Fanghan to ask everyone to take more care of Lu Xiaoman in the future.
In the face of Weng Ruiwu, who was about to swallow his breath, Lu Xiaoman showed an untimely sense of alienation.
She sat on a wicker chair in the hall, keeping a distant distance from Weng Ruiwu on the hospital bed; The bottom of the eyes is a calm background, and there is no emotion of sadness or pity.
After Weng Ruiwu's death, the children of the Weng family believed that their father had given everything for Lu Xiaoman and should set up a spiritual hall in Lu Xiaoman's home.
But Lu Xiaoman refused the request of the Weng family's children, and her answer was:
"The reason why Weng Ruiwu appeared in my home that year was because Shima wanted him to treat me, he lived in my home for nearly 30 years, but also to treat me, Weng Ruiwu was a good friend of my husband Xu Zhimo, so I was embarrassed to drive him away, so we were at most just concubines, not husband and wife."
This is her desperate feelings, but it is also her real response - for Weng Ruiwu, there is only a request, but no love or remembrance.
Or perhaps, throughout his life, Lu Xiaoman, who believes in love, has always been framed in the puzzle of self-fantasy; I thought that the endless profligacy and ostentatious posture could achieve the romance of death and the unparalleled happiness of the world, but I did not know that there was too much causal repayment hidden in the unpredictable fate.
5 years after Weng Ruiwu's death, Lu Xiaoman also died of illness and desolation.
On his deathbed, Lu Xiaoman asked his friends to bury himself next to Xu Zhimo's tomb.
But this last wish was ultimately frustrated, Xu Zhimo and Zhang Youyi's son Xu Jikai did not agree, and the Xu family still hated her to the bone.
In that stormy era, Lu Xiaoman's ashes were hastily buried in the deserted countryside.
In the end, it was her niece who built a crown tomb for her at the Dongshan Overseas Chinese Cemetery in Suzhou.
Throughout this life, she lived brightly, brashly, wantonly, willfully...
But in this true disposition, it is at the cost of trampling on the true feelings of others.
Whether it is her ex-husband Wang Geng, the poet Xu Zhimo, or Weng Ruiwu, who unconditionally provides for her; They almost gave everything to Lu Xiaoman, even if it was difficult, they still had to protect the happiness and brightness of this woman.
But this kind of sincerity is ultimately let down.
She is warm and open, but she lacks warmth and compassion; The entanglement and involvement that was once there eventually became an unavoidable love robbery.
And what is owed, there is no way to repay...
————END————
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