Liu Qihong's marriage cheats: "Personality incompatibility is a match made in heaven"

1

Needless to say, the most popular thing during this time is Liu Qihong's gymnastics.

The super rhythm coupled with the magical fitness action has gained a batch of "Liu Qihong Boys" and "Liu Qihong Girls".

Compared with the fitness boom triggered by Liu Qihong, I think his marriage secret book is more worthy of everyone's attention.

In a recent video, Liu and his wife shared the secret of their happy marriage.

Liu Ruihong changed the ease of fitness, and said with a slightly solemn look:

"Probably a lot of men and women will feel that the reason for breaking up is that personalities are incompatible.

In fact, I myself think that personality incompatibility is a match made in heaven. If you are all smooth sailing, then it is likely that this love will blow and break. ”

Liu Qihong's heartfelt words are not empty.

Netizens who know their husband and wife will know that Liu Qihong's temperament is very urgent, and his wife Wang Wanfei's personality is particularly slow, and the rhythm of the two is not at all in tune in life, and they even once felt that there was no way to live together.

However, in the process of daily getting along, when Liu Qihong is too fast, Wang Wanfei will help him slow down; when his wife is too slow, Liu Qihong will help him faster.

In the run-in again and again, they adjusted each other's rhythm in this way.

Liu Ruihong even said proudly: "It is precisely because of such a difference that we can complement each other." ”

Personality discord and mismatch of the three views are considered by too many people to be the key factors in the breakdown of marriage.

I remember that last year, some media conducted a survey of the post-95s and made the "China Post-95s Data Report", in which the results of the survey "Which condition of the partner are most valued" attracted our attention, and the results showed that the three views were unanimous and jumped to the first.

But in fact, what determines the emotional happiness of two people is not whether there is a difference between the two people, but the attitude towards each other.

2

Remember fu Seoul, who often uttered golden sentences in "Strange Story"?

In 2008, she and her then-boyfriend, now her husband Lao Liu, made a wish for a better life in the future on the overpass.

In order to realize this dream, Fu Seoul worked hard during the day and wrote with a lamp at night, and day after day, she almost turned herself into a gyroscope.

But what makes her feel worse is that her partner Lao Liu is a salted fish. Although he had sold insurance, sold durian, and thought of various other ways to make money, although he worked hard, he never found a path that suited him.

This made Lao Liu both discouraged and unhappy.

Later, fu Seoul talked about this experience on the show, and she cried and said:

"I'm a most motivated woman, but I reflect on myself that I'm not the best partner.

It's been 11 years, and what I said to you on the overpass has come true today, but I know you're not having a happy life, and that's the biggest regret in my marriage.

You have tried to fight for me, but I have never thought that I will stop for you, and I will not try my best to be gentle with you.

Today I finally got the life I wanted, but I never asked you, is this what you want? ”

These words are the true words that Fu Seoul has uttered from the bottom of his heart in the 11 years since they were married.

Isn't this the epitome of many people's marriages, we only want our partner to do what we want, but we have not thought, is this what the other party wants?

Happily, Fu Seoul chose to go out of her own way, she realized her dreams on her own, and she also tried to let her other half live his way.

Tolstoy said: The key to happiness is not how much you are compatible, but how you deal with each other's incompatibility.

In marriage, the differences between two people are not terrible, what is really terrible is the attitude towards each other's differences.

3

2 tips for you to learn to treat each other differently and have a happy marriage.

1. Avoid the illusion of transparency

A girl often complained that her boyfriend didn't understand her, for example, she wanted to eat ice cream, but the other party gave her milk tea.

Someone asked, "Why don't you just tell him you're going to eat ice cream?" ”

She said naturally: "This is what he should know, what I like to eat, what I hate to eat, he should remember it clearly, and use me to say." ”

The behavior of girls is to fall into the illusion of transparency. What the illusion of transparency says is that we always think that others can be aware of our thoughts and emotions.

Intimate parties, in many places, there will be tacit understanding, which is an important feature of intimate relationships.

But the problem is that even the most intimate person can't fully know what you're thinking; even if you do, you may not be able to react to it all the time.

We tend to overestimate other people's understanding of what we really think, think that others understand what we are thinking, and think that we are showing enough information to be noticed by others.

In fact, the understanding of the two sides is very different, sometimes even completely opposite.

If you think that you are more transparent in the eyes of others, it is often you who have committed the illusion of transparency.

Psychologist Halverson advises: If you want to better understand each other, express your intentions bluntly, clearly, and unambiguously, rather than sending ambiguous signals.

Only by improving each other's understanding and seeing each other's hearts can we better manage the relationship.

2. Learn to respect the differences between the two

If one party likes to eat spicy hot pot, the other party can order clear soup beef. Despite different tastes, two people who can respect each other can still go a long way.

The French writer Moluis said:

"In a happy marriage, you should respect each other's tastes and hobbies, and think that two people should have the same thoughts and the same personality, which is the most absurd idea."

Respect between marriages is nothing more than giving the two parties room for independence. Know what the other person likes and dislikes, and tolerate each other.

Learning to respect each other's differences is to give each other the greatest tolerance.

The writer Lian Yue once said:

"Marriage is different from gambling, because the odds of gambling are always against the player, and the addict must lose.

While marriage is managed, the odds are in the hands of the player, carefully managed, and almost certain to win. ”

Learning to face up to each other's differences and learning to manage marriage rationally is the greatest reverence of adults for marriage.

Share.