Text/Wang Xin
When I returned to the village again, it was already six months later.
On several occasions, when the desire to return to the village grew stronger and more unable to extricate himself, he was like a trapped beast in a cage, wandering around the house, but he could not find even the slightest reason not to be far-fetched.
When his mother was there, he had to go back almost once or twice a month, and the thunder did not move, and his mother was not afraid of trouble, always counting the days and hoping that he would come back.
Jin Cheng wanted to return to the village more and more, even if he just walked around and looked at it, he was relieved, and the burden in his heart could be put down.
In Jin Cheng's memory, the village was a kite that flew out, and the higher it flew, the farther it flew, the tighter his heart became.
Later, the clearer the scene of the earlier life in the village became.
In memory, it seems that everything has changed in the village, even the old house, like the old man with the wind and candles, has decayed year by year, become strange, and does not recognize.
Every time he returned, Jin Cheng had to elaborate a proper and unpretentious reason, no longer to say it hastily. He didn't understand how the village that gave birth to him and raised him suddenly became strange. Walking in the village, many of them are young faces, even the hair that grew up bare ass together when they were young is no longer the original appearance, and gradually grows older, and the mother's old house, surrounded by newly built two-story buildings around, looks so old and incongruous.
"Leave the old house behind." Someone kindly reminded him. Yes, no matter how high the kite flies, there is always a time to fall, and when the leaves fall, it must always return to the root. "Big brother, let's not come back in the future, we are not welcome in the village!" A cousin not far away complained to him. Jin Cheng knew that in order to renovate the old house in the village, the cousin was in conflict with his brothers because of disagreement. He is also reluctant to the old house, just like most people who leave the village, always have to have an old house of their own, even if it is dilapidated, it is also his own home in the future, no matter when, where he goes, it will always be a harbor for shelter from the wind and rain, when he wants to return, when he wants to return.
The earliest to leave the old house, to leave the village, is to go out to study, in Jin Cheng's teenage years, every week to walk back and forth, to the town more than ten miles away to study, at that time, he was the pride of the people in the village, because only children with excellent grades will be admitted to the town to study, so it is considered by adults to be outstanding. At that time, he was reluctant to leave the village, reluctant to leave the familiar partners who played together, and at the beginning, he cried his nose for several days, like a toddler, suddenly weaned, crying incessantly, but the grown bird always had to fly away. For the first time, he felt that the distance from the village where he grew up was so far away that he no longer wanted to go back. Although, he is more attached to his childhood, the free and happy life in the village, and the playmates who get along day and night, even the mountains not far from the village, the small river that meanders from the front of the village, and the happy time of playing there.
What Makes Jin Cheng unforgettable for a lifetime is that when he accidentally failed the college entrance examination, the year when he fell to Sun Shan, he rode a bicycle alone for two or three hours, went to the county town to read the list, took heavy steps, endured hunger and thirst, and returned home on an empty stomach, it was already half of the afternoon, the sky was full of drizzle, he worked hard with all his strength, riding on the muddy dirt road, on his face, in his eyes, he could not tell whether it was rain or tears, when he was exhausted and uneasy step by step into the village, His mother, who had been waiting at the mouth of the village for a long time, hugged his head in pain and couldn't help but leave tears, and he could no longer suppress the tears of grievance and cried loudly. Later, his mother's tolerance gave him infinite strength, and the next year, he finally got his wish, stepped into the long-desired school, became the first college student in the village to go out, gave his mother endless glory, and became the pride of the whole village. Since then, he has been farther away from the village, and once he comes back, he often has to take a day and a night train, and many times the old house only appears in dreams.
Jin Cheng's time to return to the village is getting less and less, and sometimes, it is not all because he is busy.
But going home to visit his mother is the only constant reason for Jin Cheng to return to the village, even if it is righteous and righteous.
At the beginning, riding a bicycle, Jin Cheng had to walk for two or three hours, and when the time came, he had to go, and he knew that his mother was always thinking about when he should go home, so he waited early in front of the village, and prepared some delicious food in advance. Sometimes, Jin Cheng could not go back on time, and his heart would feel guilty, he knew that his mother must have waited in front of the village for a long time. Every time she left the village, her mother would insist on sending Jin Cheng out of the house, watching the far away, and when Jin Cheng looked back, she would also see her mother standing alone in front of the door, looking at him, Jin Cheng's nose was sour, and tears were in his eyes.
In the year, the most important thing for Jin Cheng is to return to the village and accompany his mother in the old house for the New Year.
On the twenty-eighth day of the waxing moon, Jin Cheng returned to the village in the morning with a large bag and a small bag, and his mother was very happy and waited early.
Chinese New Year's Eve, while preparing Chinese New Year's Eve meal, while cleaning the yard, began to paste the Spring League, and soon, the new Spring League was pasted on the door, every household was renewed, and some of the big red lanterns were also hung.
"The baby is back for the New Year, it's good to go home!" On the street, Jin Cheng met the uncle of the Ben family and asked happily, "Yes, uncle." Hello New Year! "When we met, although the face was already a little strange, Jin Cheng was still the same at first sight, and the hometown voice was overflowing with affection.
When you're done, Chinese New Year's Eve meal. The table was full of hearty dishes, and the mother urged Jin Cheng to eat more, looking at jin Cheng's eating, and her mother's face was full of smiles.
It was still early in the morning, and the mother said to Jin Cheng: "Go and fight the fire paper," the custom of the hometown, the New Year's paper should be in time before the sun sets, Jin Cheng spread the fire paper on the ground in the courtyard, hit the woodcut mold with a hammer, and all at once, the fire paper was filled with a round copper coin-like pattern, finished, and then scattered, three pieces were folded together into a triangular shape, ready to Chinese New Year's Eve paper to honor the heavens.
It was almost twelve o'clock, and there were firecrackers starting to be set off, "Is it time to send paper?" The mother was in bed, she had not fallen asleep, and asked again and again, Jin Cheng knew that the Chinese New Year's Eve hair paper was a big thing in the eyes of his mother, and he was instructed over and over again to pay homage to some details of the paper burning. It was time to pay homage to heaven, began to make dumplings, Jin Cheng took out some fruit dim sum steamed buns, poured three glasses of wine, placed the cooked dumplings on the small table in the courtyard, put them in a bowl, also placed them on the small table, lit incense, began to burn paper to pay homage to the heavens, hung firecrackers on the tree, lit, crackled, sounded, firecrackers, Jin Cheng's New Year began.
This time, as usual, Jin Cheng habitually packed up his things, prepared to go back to the village, walked out of the community, and said to the people he met, go back to his hometown, the New Year!
The village seemed to have become more unfamiliar, and all it was about faces. A small child looked at him curiously and said, "How come I don't know you, are you here to visit relatives?" Jin Cheng was a little dazed and said to the child, "I'm lost, can you take me home?"
When the neighbor uncle saw it, he greeted him and said, "I'm going home," and he closed his mouth and said somewhat darkly, "When you come back, will you come to my house and sit down?" Looking at the locked door of the old house, Jin Cheng nodded silently. Uncle Dabo grew up watching him grow up, and when his mother was there, every time he came home, Jin Cheng would come to see Uncle Da and talk to him.
"Uncle, this is my filial piety to you." In a trance, Jin Cheng seemed to see his mother's figure, blurted out, and handed the large bag to Uncle Da's hand. "It's hard for you!" Uncle Sighed and just shook his head. Uncle Da handed Jin Cheng a stool and sat down with him, "Don't talk about you, I'm almost out of home, I don't even know this village." Looking at the surrounding not far away, a series of high-rise residential quarters rising from the ground, uncle could not help but feel sad, he was reluctant to live in the old house he had lived in for a lifetime, a small yard. It won't be long before he's going to move away, because it's going to be demolished.
"I don't want to go, an old bone, I want to stay here." The uncle murmured, as if to himself, "This is my home, I don't go anywhere, when I'm gone, my roots are gone." ”
His heart was in a panic, and he said, "I want to go and have another look in the old house." When he opened the door, the lock was already a little rusty, and in the house, everything was still the same, he turned around, then locked the door again, and silently withdrew.
Uncle Da sighed and said, "There are fewer and fewer people in the village, the young people have moved away, even the New Year, they have not returned, but I like it here." Jin Cheng didn't want to leave either, and he didn't want to leave the old house left by his mother, but he didn't say anything.
There were fewer and fewer old people in the village, and he knew almost no young people. The village had become more and more foreign and more obscure to him. Although it is Chinese New Year's Eve, walking on the street, some deserted, the couplet posted on the door is a pure print, Jin Cheng can't help but think of the small time, every year in the waxing moon, and the small friends to the big house in front of the village, gathered in front of the table, attentively watch the adults write the scene of the Spring Festival, at that time, the room is full of faint ink fragrance, let them excited, compete, see who recognizes the words, once they get the praise of the adults, they will dance happily for most of the day, Chinese New Year's Eve, but also call friends, Groups of three or five, running all over the street, going door to door to see the Spring Festival, although hungry and cold, but the heart is happy. Only now, Jin Cheng didn't know where to go to find these memories.
Jin Cheng decided to stay, and he wanted to guard his old house. Opening the door again, carefully sorting out every object, and carefully putting it back in its place, he tried his best to recall that, as in his memory, the things returned to their original owners, as if they had their own home. Every item there is his treasure, and he must guard it. In his memory, every plant and tree in the village used to be so familiar and kind, when he was young, he played games with his friends, hide and seek, and it was their best playground. Now, there is nothing left, everything has changed, strange. Jin Cheng did not dare to imagine that when he was as old as Uncle Da, where would his old house be? As soon as he thought of those pavilions in mid-air, his heart panicked, and if he was not steady, he would not be able to sleep. He liked to sleep on the clay kang since he was a child, and his mother hummed a lullaby on the side, and soon, he would sleep soundly, sweetly and steadily. Jin Cheng worried about Uncle Da, there was no old house, left the village, and did not know how Uncle Da could survive.
In a trance, Jin Cheng dreamed that he had become a leaf of duckweed for a while, drifting with the waves, and for a moment like a kite with a broken line, shaking and fluttering with the wind. It was as if on a dense towering tree, the birds that had lost their nests had scattered in all directions. He suddenly woke up and realized that it was a dream.
On the first day of the New Year, Jin Cheng paid homage to everyone in the village, trying to write down the appearance and name of each person, saying that he should take the village with him, keep the village forever, and keep the old house.
He gave the village a name and told it every time he was told.
That name is nostalgia.
(Image from the Internet)
【About the Author】Wang Xin, a native of Fei County, Shandong, a member of the Chinese Prose Literature Society, a member of the Shandong Provincial Prose Literature Society, a member of the Linyi Writers Association, a director of the Linyi Civic Writers Association, and a winner of the Yan Zhenqing Literary and Art Award.
Sponsored by the Shandong Provincial Prose Literature Society, Contemporary Prose is a bimonthly prose journal, which mainly publishes the works of members of the Shandong Provincial Prose Literature Association, and welcomes Shandong prose writers to apply to join the Shandong Provincial Prose Association. The Shandong Provincial Prose Literature Association holds various prose activities throughout the year to provide book publishing services for writers. Contact number: 13653164811, 18765312921, 18653131587; submission email: [email protected]
One Point Number Contemporary Prose