A friend left a message asking: I treat the other party as a true friend, why doesn't he take me seriously?
It turned out that he had been with a friend for several years, and had been caring for and caring for him in the form of pouring out his heart and lungs, no matter what difficulties the other party encountered, he would help himself, and none of them were absent.
However, what makes me feel depressed is that I give so sincerely, but I do not exchange the same return from the other party, but I do not take myself seriously at all.
For example, the other party's mother is ready to have a big birthday, but she has no money on hand, takes some from him, and promises to pay it back in a few days, and the result is far away. Most importantly, he had prepared gifts to go to the birthday, and as a result, the other party did not inform him of the specific date, and he knew that it was also told by others...
He asked the other party why he invited himself, and the other party replied that he was inviting a friend with a head and a face, and inviting him would seem awkward to each other in the past.
In fact, he knows where the other party has any "head and face" friends, he does not have money to give the old woman a birthday, there will be rich and noble people with him?
However, what he was most angry about was that he had paid so much, and the other party simply did not take him seriously, depressed, upset, and sighed.
To tell the truth, whoever encounters such a friend will be extremely depressed, you think that you are sincere to others, you can also exchange for the other party to return with sincerity, the result is a big mistake, because the wrong person, no matter how you pay, it is futile.
In real life, such examples abound, the more you rush to be good to a person, the less you will get the attention of the other party; in order to make the relationship between you long-lasting, the lower your posture, the more humble you are.
To be precise, if no one takes you seriously, there are mainly three reasons, and you can't be wrong.
1 Kindness does not distinguish between people, and they are bullied after all
As the saying goes, "Be good to others, be good to yourself." ”
There is nothing wrong with this sentence itself, being kind to people is the root of being a human being, but kindness is not true for all people, but it is necessary to divide people, otherwise it will definitely bring misfortune to yourself.
In a town, a young man opened a porridge shop, and the business was booming and well-connected.
One day, a ragged man fainted at the entrance of the store, invited him to the store to drink porridge, and when he learned that he was poor, he left him to work in the store.
However, it didn't take long for the man to leave without a shout, because it was very hard to serve the dishes in the store. He said he wanted to leave, but he still came here to rub rice, and the young man didn't ask much.
It wasn't long before the man brought a group of beggars claiming to be friends from outside to eat in the shop, and the young man couldn't look at it, asked him not to come and make trouble for himself, and then he blew the gang away.
However, this person felt that the young man was "unkind", so he followed this group of beggars to the shop every day to make trouble, and the guests all left.
As a result, the good porridge shop went out of business. This man went around telling people that this was all caused by the young man's self-inflicted wounds...
Live in the moment, because of your kindness, some people will also be kind to you, but kindness should also be divided, and should not be treated equally, because some people will take your kindness for granted, once the demand from you can not be satisfied, the light is evil, the heavy is the dark arrow hurts people.
So, if you feel from the beginning that the other party is not the same person as yourself, put away your kindness, because the other party is not worth your efforts!
2 Without your own temperamental personality, others will treat you as a soft persimmon
On the road to growth, I believe many people have heard a saying: to be with people, in order to promote each other's relationship.
Yes, it's very important to have good relationships with others. Therefore, in many cases, I chose to be a good-natured person, to be kind to everyone, and never to offend anyone.
However, over time, you will find that not everyone is so kind to you.
An older brother said that no matter what time, everyone seems to like a person with a good temperament, but prefers to respect a person with a bad temper.
The rationale behind this is also very simple.
When you are the same person, others will think that no matter what you say or do to you, in fact, you don't care in your heart, even if you do it wrong, you don't have to take care of your feelings, so you won't pay attention to you from the heart.
On the contrary, if you are a person with a clear personality, the other party will first distinguish what the impact of your words on you is, will not easily offend you, and dare not be unscrupulous in front of you, behind which is to understand what the price you have to pay.
Therefore, I understand that it is not necessary to be a person who is pleasant to everyone, but also a person with a clear personality.
When you have a thorn in your body, it does not mean attacking anyone at any time, but to make the other party realize that you are not easy to mess with. You can have your own warm side, but you must also have a love-hate side, and you have to choose something to have.
When you are always too good at talking and too temperamental, you often don't take you seriously.
3 No strength, no attention
In some cases, when you are not taken seriously, it is often the premise that you have no strength and no value.
Although this sounds a bit snobbish and cruel, many times people in the relationship, they will measure whether they match each other, and once they feel that the other party is not the same type of person as themselves, they will look down on each other from the inside.
Therefore, if you do not have real strength, nor do you have your own skills, but always saddle up in front of others, inflammatory, or even on call, often because they need you, they think of you, and they will not take you seriously.
When you want to maintain a relationship, or make friends with a person, the first thing to see is whether you match the other person, only in this way can you exchange the longevity of the relationship and mutual respect.
No matter when, let us become a really powerful person, an excellent person, not only let the other party look up to, but more importantly, let us look up to ourselves.
When you really become a powerful person, your vision becomes wider, your heart is stronger, and you often do not dwell on some mismatched people, but will pursue the world of self-worth more and make your life more meaningful.
No matter what kind of relationship is not treated properly, do not be sad and depressed, because we do not live to please others, nor do we live in other people's worlds, but remind us what kind of people are worth cherishing, and what kind of people should be kept away as soon as possible.
Mr. Yang Dai once said: "We once longed so much for the waves of fate, and in the end we found out that the most beautiful scenery of life is the calm and calm in our hearts." ”
The more you live for others, the more you will live confused and sad, not knowing where the future lies; and when you live for yourself, the more comfortable and happy you will be, and you will find the meaning of your own way forward.
-END-