EnFJ Career Planning's Fi Dark Side Self-Acceptance

Each enfj needs to stand in the integrated area of inferior function Ti and look at his most powerful consciousness mask (Fe-Ni) rationally and dialectically, in order to better self-understand, reconcile, self-accept and continuously integrate (stimulate and develop) the dark side of the true self within the inner personality, so as to develop a more complete personality that is confident and harmonious and can live in harmony with the self.

The first and second talents (Fe-Ni) - "innate altruism, dedication of the Fe way of thinking (core value proposition), and through the most comfortable good at the overall situation, far-sighted Ni vision to see the world", the two together portray enfj based on the global altruism of the core portrait: for the society, the industrial chain, the entire community or all of human welfare; this is the fundamental reason why they often behave in a lofty pattern, do heroic deeds, and make the world full of love as the lifelong career goal.

Therefore, in external reality, altruism is the fundamental source of enfj's sense of self-worth, and when the evaluation is a regular scale that benefits others - am I the first place, do people praise me, am I liked, is the relationship with everyone, and so on, when positive feedback is obtained, it means that the core beliefs of enfj altruism are fully satisfied. At the same time, they can strongly feel and take great pride in being their own heroes; for the inner spiritual world in the opposite direction, enfj in order to fully meet Fe's need to obtain a sense of value from community connection, they can easily ignore and suppress the personal needs of the inner self (Fi) - to meet the needs of connection and put down personal needs to fit in, worried that others do not like and suppress true views, afraid of not being supported and hesitate from which angle to draw conclusions or make decisions, These include repressive behaviors such as the possibility of having no clue about the inner self until they know what others are thinking.

Thus, enfj's acceptance of the self depends on the ability to balance the opposition between others and the self, altruism and self-interest, and the balance of the two depends on their ability to understand, tolerate and care for the "egoistic needs of the dark side of the self": can not be indifferent but can be rejected, being liked by everyone means that they have become altruistic tools and machines without self, and how can the machine that has worn out personality and soul make the world full of love? That is, excessive pursuit of altruism and excessive reliance on the Fe mask will only make oneself more and more distant from the core beliefs of Fe altruism; including excessive altruism, which is easily misunderstood as purposeful flattery. Fi's repression also often leads to enfj self-aggression, restlessness, confusion and anxiety; at the same time, Fi's passive defenses often lead to enfj opposing others in the same way, so Fi's negative direction destroys their most cherished harmonious interpersonal atmosphere.

Enfj who understands this truth can gradually let go of the obsession of being the first in everything, being liked and adored from the bottom of his heart, no longer have so much jealousy, and will not be frequently overwhelmed by inferiority, and especially when Fe is not satisfied and has no glory, he instinctively depreciates his self-worth.

Second, the barriers to the sense of boundaries erected by the opposition to the dark side, the construction of a sense of belonging, the full display of talents such as public relations creativity, are such intuitive obstacles that enfj is often difficult to realize. Of course, this is understandable and enfj needs self-understanding and reconciliation, "thinking that what others present is only a Fe mask, no one can not be selfless, they may be jealous and used by them, do not believe that there is a real friendship in the workplace"; however, it needs to be understood that if the dark side of excessive opposition, the stronger the sense of boundaries set up, the more difficult it is to open up, and the more contrary to the natural needs of belonging that Fe naturally pursues, And the evidence that every enfj finds is that it is almost impossible for them to fire their fire in a team without a sense of belonging, resulting in the need and desire to become a leader, to become a centripetal force for the community, and to fight side by side.

And more core, related to enfj's specific career path - lifelong career direction, the lifestyle that really loves and desires, the meaning of the personalized life pursued, and so on, regardless of whether it is altruistic or not, about the emotional beliefs of the inner desire of the self - the direction and content are exactly what we want to develop the dark side of fi. Unless one can face it calmly, to listen, understand, and develop the inner self, it is possible to smooth out the excessive (including early) midlife crisis: to clarify the love of the self and fully integrate it with one's core beliefs of altruism, to achieve a balance between the self and altruism and to achieve the harmonious state of inner and outer harmony that enfj desires. That is, in the process of socialization of altruism, we continue to clarify ourselves, but instead of treating altruism as a personalized love of the self, we use our love to complete the mission of altruism and obtain continuous long-term career satisfaction.

At the same time, the evolving inner self-emotional beliefs can bring more acute empathy to enfj. With more sensitive and abundant inner emotions, enfj will pay more attention to and respect his own personal value needs, while facing others in the same way, and in the process constantly improve his emotional acumen and ability to empathize with others. In this regard, empathy ability can be understood as the ability to feel the inner emotions, emotions or minds of others, and emotional intelligence can be understood as enfj's ability to make others comfortable.

Of course, the two are also complementary relationships, empathy ability to make others feel understood and open their hearts and meet enfj's interpersonal harmony needs, and emotional intelligence can help enfj to connect with different types of people and constantly clarify his inner feelings in the process of socializing. As empathy improves, enfj will have the ability to constantly get rid of the loneliness of having many friends but difficult to establish deep connections, and to perceive each other's emotional needs more in intimate relationships, while at the same time having the ability to constantly clarify self-needs, accept self-needs, and be more willing to express self-needs actively and naturally, and in the process continue to fall in love with themselves.