Distant grandmother
The author | Liu Huayu
Day by day, year by year, it flows silently like water, and unconsciously the New Year Festival has arrived.
Our custom here is that the Middle Age Festival is the day when children go to the graves of their deceased parents.
The day before the Middle Day, my mother came to my house, and I talked to my mother about my grandfather (grandfather: dialect, referring to the father. On the matter of going to the grave, the mother said that this year she would not go to the grave of my grandmother and grandfather, and the trustee took the paper money and tribute. The mother said that it is all psychological effects, can the dead person receive it? I said that as long as there is sincerity, I will definitely receive it. My mother then told me, "Your grandmother has never given her grandmother a grave all her life, even at home she has never burned paper, paid money and grain, and said that no amount of paper money burned can change anything, and she is dead and dead!" Death occupies such a pit. I saw tears in my mother's eyes, a little choked. Every festive season, how can the affection of blood thicker than water be blocked? I know that my mother misses my grandmother, and when my mother talks about some of her grandmother's past events, her memories follow the wind, and the past is like smoke.
Grandma is a small-footed woman, not very tall, with a white and clean face, not much speech, and likes to be quiet. No matter how busy Grandma was, she always cleaned herself up. In my memory, I feel that my grandmother was a very lonely person, perhaps related to her special experience.
According to the mother, grandma was originally a little girl surnamed Ning from a family in Dadu Village at the foot of Tai'an. There was also a younger sister in the family, when she was fifteen or sixteen years old, five friends went up the mountain to collect firewood and grass, and was blindfolded by a group of people who did not know what identity, blindfolded with a black cloth, and forcibly took the truck away. It was an age when the heavens should not be called the earth. The truck bumped all the way, I don't know how many villages I went around, halfway through I heard a few companions trading like commodities, only to know that they were abducted and sold, and since then it has been a matter of life and death, and it has become a trick to say goodbye to my family.
Some things may have been predestined by heaven in the dark, and my mother said that at that time, the days were very poor, the wild vegetables in the field were dug up, the bark of the trees was picked up to fill the hunger, and many people went to other places to beg for life, and at this time, my grandmother was taking my grandfather here (weixian area) to beg for food.
My grandmother had 6 sons, my grandfather ranked fifth, although the family was poor at that time, but all 6 sons had a job that could support themselves, playing and singing to the door to beg for food, and they could also live a living. That year begging passing by, just met someone trading and selling girls, Grandma used dozens of copper plates to buy the quiet girl, since then she has become my grandmother, all said that thousands of miles of marriage are tied, but do not know who the red lady who is the matchmaker, my grandmother has since left home, far away from her relatives, followed my grandmother, grandfather back to the current Wangdao Village, a life. The thoughts in the wind are always as thin as cicada wings, and some of the good things are too late to grasp, and they have been crushed into dust by the wheels of the years and fallen into the folds of time. The pain of missing relatives cannot be expressed, and the pain of missing each other can only be sent in dreams.
Grandma is a kind-hearted and compassionate old man, who is also very sympathetic to Grandma's situation and takes extra care. The age difference between Grandma and Grandpa is nearly 20 years old, and when Grandma is sometimes homesick and irritable, Grandpa always silently does not speak, and Grandma vents her emotions. Grandpa understood that no amount of love he loved Grandma could replace Grandma's grief-stricken feelings of missing her parents.
Busy days make people have no time to take care of those troubles, and life is like a still pool of stagnant water, there are no waves. Grandma and Grandpa had a total of ten children. But only six brothers and sisters survived, four uncles, and one aunt. The mother said that the original conditions were not good, the child had measles, there was no money to treat, and she lost two children in one day. Among them, the third uncle is also very seriously ill, with grass felt rolled up to prepare for burial, the mother told the grandfather that the third uncle's eyes can still move, there is a faint breath in the nostrils, the grandfather used the only bit of soybeans in the family for two needles, and finally saved the third uncle back, and since then the third uncle has also fallen into a "living dead" nickname. No matter how hard and tired the days are, you have to stay up, there is no luxury, and it is the greatest gift of heaven to have food to survive.
There are unpredictable storms in the sky, and people have bad luck and bad luck. When my brother-in-law was 4 years old, my grandfather fell ill and died at the age of 61. The pain of losing a child, the roof of the family collapsed, the grandmother's heart was broken, the tears dried up, and the life of the orphan and widow was extremely difficult. Later, the uncle enlisted in the army and returned from the battlefield, and he was left with a disability. During the birth of the child, the mother and daughter of the postpartum wind lost their lives within one month, and the uncle has been alone since then. The second uncle grew up to be more than 10 years old, because there was no male in the third grandmother's family, he passed the second uncle to the third grandmother. The eldest aunt married into Muqiao Village, north of the Xiaoqing River, and her life was very poor at that time. But the uncle is a very kind and diligent person, and every year he tries his best to help his grandmother's family live a life, but after all, it is really inconvenient to be across a river. As the saying goes, a mile across the river is not close, and the aunt wants to go back to her mother's house to cross the river to have a ferryman. Sometimes when there are strong winds and waves, there is no ferryman who can only look at the river and sigh. The eldest aunt became a distant daughter.
The blows again and again made Grandma's temper become a little withdrawn, and she was silent. Since my grandfather's death, my grandmother changed her Ning surname to my grandfather's wang surname, and the burden of the family almost fell on my mother. My mother's health is very good, and she earns no less work points every year than the male grandfathers, and the number of people who pick trenches and dig trenches is no less than that of male laborers. When the autumn harvest was completed, he went out with the elders to change the dried sweet potatoes, went down to collect firewood and grass, and helped grandma survive one difficult day after another. After my mother got married at the age of 18, because my grandfather was also seven sisters, the days were very poor, my grandfather went to the Zibo Heiwang Iron Mine to carry stones for people, and then turned into a worker, because of inconvenient transportation, far from home, can not go home several times a year, the father is not at home, the mother has been living in my grandmother's house to help work, a job is 10 years. My sister grew up to be eight or nine years old and reached the age of school, and then she moved her hukou to my grandmother's house.
Whenever I listen to my mother repeat these words over and over again, my mind will always come up with those days of lack of firewood and rice, the busy and tired figure of the mother, and the helplessness of my grandmother, all kinds of heartache and helplessness, and the feeling of pain will fill the sea of hearts!
Fast forward a few decades, and the country's policies have changed. Land is distributed to households, economic income has also increased, and the problem of food and clothing has been basically solved. As the saying goes, "keep warm and idle, hunger and cold natural", every year on the day of sacrifice, Grandma began to talk about her two old parents, evoking Her mother's sad things. So the uncle took his military disability certificate, because the car can be free, and decided to find her mother's home for her grandmother. The flame that Grandma extinguished in the past was also rekindled in her heart, and the deep affection was unstoppable.
Heaven cares for those who have a heart. Although the transportation is inconvenient, the uncle has gone through several twists and turns, inquired in many ways, and finally found his grandmother's village. An elderly old man listened to his uncle explain the situation, and the old man called him Grandpa, so he took my uncle to the former site of my grandmother's house. After years of wind and rain, the house has long been dilapidated and unrecognizable, and the weeds in the courtyard are higher than the heads of people, and it is a mess. A few broken pieces of wood were tilted to the ground, and a broken cabinet bracket was groaning and groaning, standing alone in an open-air corner, witnessing the vicissitudes of time. After Grandma's only sister sent the two old men to their deaths, she followed her husband, who was a soldier, to the northeast and never returned. The empty-hearted uncle begged the kind grandfather if he could take him to his grandmother's and grandfather's grave, and the grandfather gladly agreed to go. The low mound stood there alone, exceptionally lonely and lonely.
The uncle built the grave high, burned paper money and prostrated his head to comfort the spirit of the second old man in heaven, and gave the kind old man two boxes of cigarettes and two biscuits to show his gratitude. Tell the old man that he will come back to the grave of the second old man when he has the opportunity in the future. The dying old man left the world with disappointment and sorrow, with concern and thoughts. Who asked, the lonely grave, the swift grass at the head of the grave? Who has pity? Relatives have gone, not presented the blessings of children and grandchildren, wandering in thousands of miles, how to think about it! The uncle stayed outside for half a month and went home to tell grandma what had happened, and grandma could no longer control her emotions and cried bitterly, tearing her heart and lungs, and the thoughts that had been suppressed for many years were relieved and released with crying!
My uncle told my mother that in two years the children would be married, so he would take my mother to their grandmother's house to see. By the way, to inquire about the whereabouts of their sister-in-law, the mother is also very happy, but often backfired, after a few years the uncle fell seriously ill and died in Jinan, also at the age of 61. The mother's hope has since vanished, until the grandmother died at the age of 88, because there are too many family chores, this wish has always become a knot in the mother's heart.
We often say that coming to Japan is long, in fact, there are not too many days in life, more is the impermanence of life. And when I was forty-six years old, the death of my father made me realize the deep meaning of "my parents are here, life still has a place to come, my parents are gone, and life is only the way back".
Now my mother is eighty years old, and my aunt is ninety, but the third uncle who struggled from the death line is still quite tough. Time always takes away too many things mercilessly, only thoughts, every time I think of it, it is always difficult to let go.
Fortunately, during last year's May Day holiday, the second sister of Zibo proposed that our sister and brother go to Taishan to travel together, and my mother also strongly approved. She said that she would see a scene along the way, and now that her life is better and richer, she can't walk. The mother also sponsored 200 yuan each to express her wishes, and as a result, my brother could not go because of important matters, and the three of us sisters resolutely moved forward. My sister is also sixty years old, we are also hanging out together for the first time, and the children have booked tickets from the Internet in advance to keep in touch by phone. I was also very happy to be a personal bodyguard for my sisters once.
It is said that Mount Tai is a very spiritual mountain, and the second sister said that the ancient emperor went to seal Mount Tai in order to pray for guotai and people's peace. The three of us sisters also came to Taishan, not for anything else, but for the fulfillment of the wish of the mother. Standing at the foot of Mount Tarzan, we bowed deeply three times in the direction of my grandmother's house. Because Tarzan is not allowed to burn paper money, I think that if my grandmother had a spirit in heaven, she would understand that this was my mother's original wish, hoping that my grandmother and her parents could meet in another beautiful country. I called home to tell my mother, and she said it was very good! Very good! The mother on the other end of the phone was very happy, and the words were a little choked!
In fact, it is really not easy for people to live a lifetime, coming and going, going and staying, just like constantly interpreting the quartet of the seasons. Time that cannot be retained, regrets that cannot be recovered, only cherish the days of encounter and be grateful for the present. No one's life is perfect, the flower is not fully bloomed and the moon is not round, which is also a poignant regret in life!
The years flow like water, never looking back, and the past is like the wind drifting away. Looking back, the past is like a dream! Looking back, the memory is still there!
The picture | a photography
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About the author: Liu Huayu, after 70, likes to read, sing, dance and run, hoping to be a woman with a fragrant soul and make a colorful self.
One point is both looking forward to literature