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"Those Things of the Ming Dynasty": "No matter how desperate the situation, do not give up hope, persevere, you will certainly be able to create miracles." ”
The "despair" in this sentence is well understood, but the "hope" is not well understood. If we do not understand the meaning of "hope", there will be a situation in which "all the great truths are understood, but it is not good to live this life".
Hope is beautiful, a psychological tendency with practical significance, and "extravagant hope" is not the same thing.
The kind of mouth that says that "the big truth is understood, but it is not good to live this life", often regards "extravagant hope" as "hope", either fantasizing that the gods come down to save themselves, or fantasizing that everything is a dream, and there are only these unrealistic ideas in the brain, and they have not thought of sticking to a practical road on their own.
For example, some people have no money, if they just "expect" to make a windfall and hope that pie will fall from the sky, they will certainly not succeed. It is better to do some things down-to-earth, even if you earn less, it will be more for a long time, and the persistence of this practical significance of "accumulating less into more" is hope.
When there is a problem in marriage, there should also be such an awareness. Don't expect the problem to be solved suddenly, or someone else to help you solve it, but to identify an actual hope to stick with it.
The following woman's way of solving marital problems covers the insistence on hope, let's take a look at it together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
Some women do not dare to divorce because of their children, because they are worried that they will not take good care of their children; while some women do not dare to divorce because their children, they cannot take away their children, and their in-laws do not let them take away their children.
The first kind of woman is relatively free, while the latter kind of woman is "subject to others", and many choose to concede defeat and choose to compromise, because children are their weaknesses.
In my opinion, this kind of problem is not so absolute. I don't think that the latter situation has fallen into a situation where there is no solution, because whether you can take the child or not is not up to the in-laws.
For example, when my husband betrayed the marriage and wanted to divorce with the child, my mother-in-law did not agree: "Divorce is OK, but the child cannot be taken away!" ”
At first, I also felt pinched by the weak ribs, and the momentum suddenly weakened, feeling very desperate.
However, I did not give up hope in this desperate state, I did not completely admit defeat, but only appeared to admit defeat on the surface, in order to let my mother-in-law let her guard down. Otherwise I'm crying like a headless fly, and the situation will only work against me.
I studied many relevant cases and finally came to a conclusion: as long as I can prove that the child is good for me to follow, as long as I can come up with evidence of my husband's betrayal of the marriage, I can take the child, but I have to tear my face with the in-laws, because as a last resort, I need to go to court.
I was inspired by this conclusion, and I began my life around that hope. When the time came, I filed for divorce again. When my mother-in-law blocked me with that sentence again, I told her: "I must take the child, disobey? See you in court! ”
After getting the results I wanted, my thinking changed a lot. Before that, although I had hope and persevered, I was still a little frightened in my heart, afraid of failure, because if I failed, I would be completely cornered.
But it turns out that there is no problem with the hope that a person insists on, which has practical significance, and if he persists, he will certainly be able to create miracles. Hopefully, my experience will give other women some inspiration.
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
What the woman called a "miracle" was not a miracle in the conventional sense, but a miracle for her personally, a victory for her personally.
Maybe you have also felt this way, half-believing and insisting on doing one thing, and over time you really get the effect you want, your heart will be very happy, you will feel what "miracle" means.
This is the role of "hope", after planting the seed of hope in your heart, hold on to it as a belief, and there will be a miracle of your own.
This is actually a concrete expression of "one heart for good". Whether it is to be a person or to do things, to move in the right direction, there will always be gains along the way, and it will have a benign impact on yourself and anything related to yourself.
This is especially true when dealing with emotional problems, you can always insist on doing the right thing, is to make yourself better step by step, which is more meaningful than you to struggle with questions such as "who left you, who does not love you". Such a you, will shine, is will affect others, a short period of time may not see the effect, but over time, everything will come to fruition.