The 4-issue short story list recommended reading | Wang Yi: The Cure Against the Current

Short

Healing against the current

Author: Wang Yi

1

Xiao Yi tossed and turned, and had not slept well for several nights. If she hadn't thought that the cover of the magazine's appointment with her hadn't been finished, she wondered if she was about to become depressed. In fact, it can not be said that it is depression, depression is depressed, tea and dinner do not think, insomnia all night. She wasn't there yet, not there. It's just that the heart is a little chaotic, and it's okay to be busy, but it can't be calmed down, not during the day, and even more so at night. Just think about what I have experienced in the past six months, think of Yan Ke's smile at her that night, the hug he gave that morning... Her heart began to recover at some point, followed by inexplicable panic, and recently turned into a shameful smile at herself, laughing at herself for being a fool. She rolled over, staring blankly at the Pauline-shaped bedside lamp, the switch pinched in her hand, turned on and off, turned off and on. After several nights of repeating itself, she felt a little nervous, and she burst out a sentence: "It's really absurd, you are a joke to say it!" The lights were finally extinguished, but Xiao Yi entered a more absurd dream.

Speaking of Xiao Yi is also a very peculiar person, the results of all subjects during the student period are very general, mathematical, physical and chemical English can be said to be almost unlearned, and the chinese composition is also written by the dragon. The results can be imagined, not to mention high school, admission to technical school is barely strong. This is not to blame her for not being angry, who made her naturally lame? A girl's family limped to school every day, how many cold eyes she suffered, and what lame, kidnapped, and crippled were her nicknames in school and society. No one really sympathizes with this girl who walks crookedly and does not give people a good look. Although the teacher does not say it in his mouth, he actually thinks: What can such a person do in the future? At most, come and recognize the words for a few years, and then go home and watch TV to pass the time. Therefore, Xiao Yi had never been able to do all his homework. No confidence, do not want to study seriously, she knows what will happen in the future, anyway, can learn a day is a day. However, it seems that this is the case, the more you want to go with the flow, the less easy it is to get away with it, and people will always inadvertently find that they still have such a skill. In an art class in junior high school, the teacher found Xiao Yi's name for the first time when evaluating the students' homework. "Xiao Yi did a good job in this art assignment, the outline and color were very well drawn, and he got a good plus! Keep up the good work! She sat down on the stage and looked up and saw the teacher smiling at her. Later, when she went to technical school, she chose painting design without even thinking about it. At the end of her five-year studies, she went out and tried to find a job to make money, but it was so easy. Going to work? Impossible, workers also need images. Even if she had some pity and gave her some opaque washing of dishes, with Xiao Yi's "pretentious" attitude, it was impossible to accept charity from others. After all, what she needed was not only to fill the material gap, but also to lack spirituality. So that swing is two years. What is it like to keep a person's life at home for two years? Probably not so terrible as isolation from the world, after all, this is an era of developed network communication, and the house has become an attitude towards life cultivation. Xiao Yi naturally couldn't stay idle, and she understood that the Internet was good for her in a sense. She submitted her resume online, trying to find a job that matched her painting, and from the beginning she didn't believe she couldn't find a decent job. So, the kung fu paid off, and two years later, a magazine company read her sample drawings and really hired her. Work irregularly every week to complete the cover of a monthly magazine issue. It doubled Xiao Yi's confidence and maintained her decency.

The office space of the magazine was slightly crowded, and there were seven or eight workstations in an editorial room, and Yan Ke appeared at this time node. He was in charge of the stick figure illustration of the inside pages of the magazine, and Xiao Yi's workstation was adjacent to the seat. She rarely came, and as long as she came once, she would clean up her acres and three points. She was not only nodding her head with Yan Ke, but also with others. Probably in her cognition, respecting people is a kind of elegant courtesy, just like she has never felt that Yan Ke is special before. Although he talked humorously, treated people despite being gentlemanly, should be close to one meter and eight meters tall, and had a pair of rimless glasses, but it was very ordinary. If you have to find something with characteristics, you may often like to wear formal clothes to work. Just such an editor who draws illustrations, sits in the cubicle room changing suits of different colors every week, holding a pen stroke pen drawing, how to describe such a sense of picture?

The theme of this issue cover art is: Healing. Xiao Yi felt that it was a theme of "false big space" at the beginning of hearing it. Healing, there are too many wounded places in this year, one touch and one injury, everyone has experienced hundreds of battles, and everyone is also scaly. How to cure? Who can really cure whom? She thought about it for nearly a week without sketching out a picture of "healing." "If you want to show healing, you have to think about the feeling of injury first." She involuntarily poked the original clean and pure white paper with her pen. Every week, she came to the magazine office with a stack of manuscript paper for the regular meeting, and climbed up the stairs one by one, and the others seemed to be so difficult, but in fact, it did not take much effort, because she was used to it, and the reality was not so exaggerated. Yan Ke came up from downstairs and quickly walked to her front. Dressed in a dark blue suit suit, Yan Ke turned around after stepping up one step more than Xiao Yi, reached out to her and smiled slightly, and said, "Give me the things in your hand, I'll take it first, and you can walk slowly." Xiao Yi looked at him, his expression paused for a few seconds, and then he responded with a polite smile and handed him the manuscript paper in his arms, and before she could say thank you, he quickly walked up to the third layer. At the regular meeting, the editor-in-chief inspected the progress of the work of various departments as usual, and Yan Ke had eight illustrations in this issue, and without exception, he submitted the manuscript in advance. When asked about Xiao Yi's cover, she can only say that the theme of this issue is difficult to control, and she has not yet thought about how to show the correct solution to "healing". When the leaders heard such a reply, they were naturally a little unhappy, and even thought that Xiao Yi had complicated the meaning of the understanding, and could only issue an order with a hard scalp, grasp the painting, and at the end of the month, it would have to be printed in the factory. The crowd dispersed at the end of the meeting, and she always stayed last to leave. Yan Ke also sorted out the information at hand, looked up and saw that she was slowly walking over, she said: "It's okay, there is still time, go back and think slowly, you have to think clearly before you can draw well." Xiao Yi didn't make a sound, but only saw the perfectly normal smile on his face.

2

It was a rainy day, a Friday evening. The last time the magazine organized a video of team building, it was edited, and colleagues projected the video onto the screen. In fact, xiao Yi generally does not participate in this kind of activity, and team building always has to "wade through mountains and rivers" or "outward training", and she is indeed not suitable for integration. But this year, colleagues said that they were going to the resort for leisure, there were not so many complicated projects, and Xiao Yi was advised to go together. She still said, forget it, I am still troublesome, along the way will inevitably cause trouble to others, so I will not go. Yan Ke looked around and inadvertently said, "People always have to trouble others, otherwise how can there be a connection between everyone for no reason?" Then she appeared in this year's team building video. This time, the team building magazine agency was really a rare generosity, and found a five-star resort hotel in the deep mountains. Surrounded by mountains and rivers, the self-service is sumptuous, and a conference room is rented as a salon to hold a sharing meeting. Xiao Yi carried a seemingly heavy backpack to the car, and her colleague asked her to go for two days, how many clothes did you bring? She smiled slightly and said that she had brought a set of clothes, and the others were pens and picture books, thinking of changing the environment to explore new ideas. She and Yan Ke each sat in a window position, and on the way, everyone took turns to go to the front of the car to perform the show to cheer up the journey. Yan Ke has always been very popular with female colleagues, and if he does not go up to sing one or two songs, these people will definitely not give up. Xiao Yi had known him for such a long time, and had to admit that this man was somewhat talented, polite and gentlemanly, funny in conversation, and talented. It's really interesting to think about him. However, what Xiao Yi thought was that this must be the reason why she had seen too little, and similar and better people in the outside world would certainly not be so poor. The five-star oxygen bar hotel is indeed good, one room for one person, but also with a separate terrace, push open the door is the mountain peaks, a few birdsong from overhead, take a deep breath is all the freshness of grass and trees. Xiao Yi has been recalling the things that have hurt her over the years, such as being ridiculed when she was a student, or walking on the street like a normal girl after she became an adult, or losing an elder who was sad about herself... She had experienced all this, but how she had recovered later, she couldn't even remember it. It was as if I couldn't feel the pain at that time, after all, too much pain, too long would make people numb.

After dinner, the atmosphere of the sharing session is far more relaxed than the regular meeting in the conference room. Although Xiao Yi prefers to be alone, she sometimes longs to integrate. Everyone was seated casually, but try to form a circle, and some people simply sat cross-legged on the carpet. Today, the expression on the leader's face also showed a rare slack, saying: "I don't talk about work today, mainly to reward everyone's work situation, let's have a top ten best award ceremony!" "Followed by the Best Preface Award, the Best Draft Award, the Best Design Award, the Best Impact Chapter Award... It is awarded in turn. Of course, Xiao Yi felt that this was something that had nothing to do with her, so she braced her head to tinker with the cover. It was only in the dizziness of looking at the crystal lamp that she heard someone report her name, "Xiao Yi won the best cover award in the first half of the year!" She numbly adjusted her sitting posture, and did not react for a moment, only to see that everyone around her was staring at her and clapping her hands, making her suddenly feel a little overwhelmed. At the same time, he felt a warm palm fall on his shoulder as if to soothe her, and when he looked back slightly, it was Yan Ke who smiled at her. And this smile, which Xiao Yi only clearly remembered later, was somewhat brilliant, and it was the light projected from his lenses onto his cheeks. There was also some warmth, the warmth emanating from the corners of his eyes and the corners of his mouth.

Xiao Yi couldn't sleep, the light came on again, and then it was forced to go out and turn on again. She called Qi Rong, swallowing and spitting, with all kinds of anxious emotions. Qi Rong couldn't bear it anymore and asked her what she really wanted to say? She said, nothing, can't draw lately, upset. Before she was ready to hang up the phone, she still couldn't help but ask Qi Rong more: "Do you remember Yan Ke of our magazine?" ”

The next morning of the team building, Xiao Yi tossed half a night in order to "cure", and rushed into the bathroom in the morning to wash up a handful of hardships and entanglements. What exactly is a cure? What does it take to be cured? After a quarter of an hour of scouring, he walked out of the room draped in wet hair. "The air in the mountains is just good! Early! She walked slowly all the way, all the way to continue to think about the "healing" thing. Not long after, Yan Ke trotted up from behind in a sports suit and automatically slowed down when he walked to her side. Xiao Yi turned his head to look at him and smiled politely. I thought to myself, it turned out that he was also such a energetic person when he changed into sportswear. He was doing small movements as he walked. They walked slowly, looking directly at the landscape and the wooden bridge in front of them. He said, "Didn't sleep last night?" Haven't you thought of anything to draw yet? She nodded and asked him back, "What kind of action do you think is a cure?" At this moment, the seven-o'clock sun came out from the back of the mountain, and he didn't say anything, just stopped, smiled and looked at a strand of hair that was about to be dried next to her face.

Qi Rong was momentarily stopped by the voice on the phone, but after a while he suddenly remembered, and said in a somewhat excited tone: "Oh, I know, is it the one who always likes to wear a suit?" Looks pretty Sven. "Well, yes." Xiao Yi answered very softly. Then he followed up: "He does a good job of illustration, and he is really good at people." "So?" She heard Qi Rong's ill-intentioned tone and did not continue to respond.

After the team building returned, the date of submission was getting closer and closer. These days have not stopped raining, intermittently for almost half a month. After work last Friday, Xiao Yi never went to the magazine again, and it was supposed that Wednesday was the time to hand over the manuscript. But until now she hadn't even sketched it, and her mind was full of something else. When the team building was over that day and she was preparing to get on the bus to return, she suddenly received a call from home, which was bad news, and her grandmother suddenly died in the middle of the night. She stood in front of the hotel lobby, in a trance, not knowing what reaction to use to accept this matter, and could only stand still silly, with no expression on her face. Yan Ke ran down from the bus, crossed the porch to the lobby to find her, saw her solemn look and realized that she had something on her mind, he picked up the backpack she had left on the ground and asked, "What's wrong?" She didn't cry, and told him in a daze: "My grandmother left, and last week she said to go back to steamed steamed buns for me." She still couldn't cry, but involuntarily was taken into Yan Ke's arms.

"You... Moved? Qi Rong was not willing to hang up the phone, "Anyway, I was woken up by you, what else do you sell with me?" Didn't you just call to talk about it? ”

"I didn't even think about who I was going to do with me. Logically, it shouldn't. He's always been like this, quite ordinary. ”

But that day she did hug Yan Ke, unexpectedly and reasonably, maybe she didn't realize it, maybe she had been waiting for this hug for a long time.

"So what are you going to do?" Tell him, right? ”

"How to tell? What can I tell him? I couldn't possibly tell him. ”

"I wondered, how can you not face a person generously if you like it?" You have to boil it yourself, what's wrong with you! ”

"How can someone like me say such a thing? Surely you can't say it, it's ridiculous to say it, others will definitely think it's a joke, I don't want to make myself a joke. ”

"What's wrong with people like you?" Usually so much arrogance, when you encounter this matter, you say that you are a joke? You, let me say what good you are. If people are really interested in you, do you have to offer him up and worship him every day! Qi Rong knew too well that Xiao Yi would involuntarily put herself into a "humble" mentality in the face of people who were impressed, and she always thought that Xiao Yi should fight for it this time. So the "fierce killer" said excitedly, "Can you be a little out of the ordinary, what is unseemly?" Don't mess with your "morally high" theory, what 'I love you, it's just a matter of one person'. All the reasons for not daring to say it are blindness. You like others, you can't patronize yourself, and people who are liked also have the right to know. unless...... You're enough to bracate, boil slowly, until the chickens fly and the eggs beat. When the time comes, I will accompany you to cry a few times, and you are a good man again! ”

At two o'clock in the morning, he was actually more awake than ever, and was tossed by Qi Rong. Xiao Yi couldn't sleep at all. From time to time, her voice came from the earpiece, saying, "Sometimes, when you think about things as complicated, it may be really complicated." The fact that you have a crush on a person shows that the person can understand you and maybe heal you. Like a person and not breaking the law, what are you afraid of..."

Xiao Yi picked up the picture book and pen in his hand again, as if a gradually clear outline was suddenly printed in his mind. Yan Ke has always given people a sense of humility and comfort, and the tone of his speech has always been so gentle, and the most important thing is that pleasing smile. Under the lights, or in the sun. No one has ever deserved Xiao Yi's use of such an exaggerated word as "fatal". Before the brush could fall to paper, she first turned on the music player and played the newly added "Ordinary Day" in the "I Like" list, which he sang on the way on the day of the team's departure. "It's an ordinary day, do you want it too?" Don't chase or hurry to walk home slowly. Just wasted his years like this, no worries, only the evening wind gently caressed his cheeks..."

It turns out that the good times are wasted, and the best journeys are slowly passed. It turns out that even if we stand and don't speak, it's very beautiful.

On Wednesday, the deadline for submission finally arrived. Rain, still like a stubborn girl, once she drills into the tip of the bull's horn, she keeps spinning in her thoughts, thinking about escaping from this whirlpool, but she can't bear to give up on herself. Xiao Yi went to the magazine in the afternoon, and it happened that as soon as she entered the office hall, someone rushed to tell her a good news: "Xiao Yi, the building installed the elevator yesterday, and there is no need to climb the building in the future." This is really good news for Xiao Yi, at least she doesn't have to spend ten minutes more thinking about climbing the stairs in the future. New belongings have been added to the old building, and everyone is squeezing in as if they were catching a new toy. The new elevator was full of people, Xiao Yi stood in the corner just blocking the button, and the moment the elevator door was about to close, a thin and tall figure rushed to the last step. Colleagues began to complain in tongues, full and overweight. However, the elevator door still closed smoothly, "Just right, I visually predict that I can add another talent to step in." Xiao Yi had seen Yan Ke walking quickly in the fastest instant, and no one would notice that she had pressed the door button at the last moment, and Yan Ke didn't know. When she got out of the elevator, she didn't even dare to look at him and walked out in a panic.

Last night, Qi Rong still felt a little strange and asked her: "In fact, you have not known him for a year or two, how did this happen this time?" ”

"Yeah, how did it come to this?"

Xiao Yi finally handed in the manuscript at the last minute, and the cover was finally finalized by Xiao Yi within three hours in the morning. It is the picture of a girl in a dance dress with a lost and sentimental face, and a dolphin jumping from the water and smiling, gently caressing her forehead with her pectoral fins. The leader said with satisfaction, I expected that your "cure" can really heal people. Xiao Yi wasn't sure if the gentle dolphin could really heal the sad girl. But what she could be sure of was that Yan Ke's hug that morning was truly comforting to her. Maybe it was at that moment that she clearly realized that Yan Ke was special, and I couldn't have the slightest thought about him, just because he was too good.

Near the end of work, the rain outside is still falling. Colleagues in the newsroom knew that today was Yan Ke's birthday, and everyone patted him on the shoulder before leaving, saying happy birthday. After a while, there were fewer and fewer people, and someone also reminded Xiao Yi that you should leave early when the rain is lighter. She said, "Okay, I'll go back when I'm done packing." In the editing room, only she and Yan Ke were left, and she could see yan Ke's excited appearance today. He also saw that Xiao Yi was still tinkering with his bag in his seat, so he stood up and greeted her: "Let's go, the rain downstairs seems to have begun to flood a little, I will send you to the subway station." Xiao Yi was naturally pleased, and was planning to give him what was in his bag before he turned around. But at this time, Yan Ke's mobile phone rang, and he glanced at the incoming call prompt. Listening to the sound of the rain outside the window, he used the afterglow to shoot Yan Ke's joy after receiving the call. He nodded and hung up the phone refreshedly, and continued to say to Xiao Yi with the same happy smile: "Let's go downstairs, my girlfriend called and said that she was downstairs at the magazine office." She drove the car, and we'll take you back!" Xiao Yi didn't know what it felt in her heart for a moment, she felt that time had stood still for a few seconds, and when she turned back to God'er and wanted to reject Yan Ke's kindness, Yan Ke had already strolled out of the door and came to the elevator entrance. When I walked out of the magazine, the rain in front of the door had accumulated to the ankle position. Yan Ke's girlfriend picked up the umbrella from the car and ran over heroically, Yan Ke hurried up to catch the handle of the umbrella and hold it with her hand, he smiled and introduced his colleague Xiao Yi to his girlfriend, and praised her in passing: "Xiao Yi is the only master of our magazine design cover painting." She smiled habitually politely. Then he said, "The road area is watery, Xiao Yi is not convenient to walk, let's send her back together." Yan Ke's girlfriend was also a warm-hearted person, and lian lian agreed, pulling the car door to invite Xiao Yi to the car.

"Oh! No, you don't! Xiao Yi suddenly felt that his response was somewhat strong, and then eased his tone again and said, "Thank you, don't bother." The rain wasn't particularly heavy, the subway station was at the intersection, I took my umbrella and walked a few steps. "She definitely doesn't want to take the car. However, when she heard Yan Ke say that she was inconvenient to walk, Xiao Yi's heart seemed to be pricked by some kind of sharp needle. She didn't have time to say goodbye to them, and her whole body seemed to be hiding in an umbrella to escape something, running into the rain. Along the way, she felt her face ticking wet. She was sure it was wet rain, not cheeky tears. The moment you step into the subway station, the rain is not just getting heavier and heavier, but the scoop of lightning and thunder. She carried a water-dripping umbrella waiting for the subway home, and her mind was full of pictures of Yan Ke and his girlfriend standing together and looking like a talented woman. It's such a good match, he should have such a beautiful and moving girl by his side.

With the subway door open, and the phone call from Qi Rong, she casually found a side seat to sit down, and wrapped the bag on her shoulder in her arms. "Hey, I just got into the subway, are you going to come to me on such a rainy night today?"

The phone was as noisy as it was, and I heard Qi Rong shouting in her ear: "Go, I'm on the road!" "She snorted weakly." yes? What did you say? Loud, I didn't hear it. "The fractional rate on the other end of the phone is increasing.

"Gifts, not given out. His girlfriend came to pick him up from work today. This sentence was finally heard by Qi Rong. Soon I heard Xiao Yi laughing and saying, "Very good, at least I didn't become that absurd joke..." Her laugh was to let herself taste sour. The subway is a crowded place, and everyone's mood is different every time they take it. There is the joy of embracing the roses, there is the helplessness of hunger and cold, and there is also the heartache of lovers who are not yet satisfied. For so many years, Xiao Yi has been insisting on the loneliness of a person, and she is sure that she is destined to be the one who cannot get the perfect ending, and even such a subtle fate of love cannot be controlled. Sometimes, it is even unclear when and where it happened. And her emotions finally ended before they began. She closed her eyes, leaned against the carriage and repeatedly and sensibly told herself: This is a good thing! She thought that by closing her eyes, she could empty her mind and escape to a vacuum for the time being. And the truth is that before she had time to enter the darkness, she seemed to be clicked on by someone in front of her eyes, and Yan Ke's smile, demeanor, his comfort and encouragement, and every frame of her whole body and soul attached to his arms that day were clearly and vividly presented in turn. For a moment, she thought she was really asleep, and the picture that appeared in front of her eyes should be an unrealistic dream. Of course, in the dream, she felt her eyes moistened, and these clear pictures gradually wrinkled.

Suddenly, Xiao Yi's whole person instantly felt a few violent jolts, and her dream was completely awakened. Suddenly, there was a panic in the subway car, and she looked at the people around her in panic. Only to hear someone shouting in surprise from a distant carriage: "The subway has stopped!" There's water coming in, there's water coming in! As soon as these words came out, the passengers on the left and right carriages all appeared terrified. For a time, the entire space evolved into a thriller plot in minutes and seconds. "Water... Water is seeping in! What's going on? More and more? What's going on here? The expression on someone's face began to swear uncontrollably. The subway was flooded with rainwater infiltrated by torrential rain. In less than five minutes, several larger small lakes were formed on the ground from small pools of water, the rain was still flowing incessantly, and the shoes of people on the ground had gradually stepped into the pond. Everyone realized that something was wrong with such a strange situation, that torrential rain could flood the road and raise the lake, but how could it rush into the subway? At this time, the rain outside the door of the car has increased the speed of flow, and the water flow is like a flood into the carriage. The water in the carriage is getting deeper and deeper, and the speed of the water level is desperately rising, so that people can't calculate it. The elderly, pregnant women, and children were more frightened than one. Many people stood up and stepped on the water and ran away, constantly howling: "What to do?" What to do? Help me! Come and help! "But no one can think of a single way to change the status quo." They're all about to rise to their seats! Someone shouted again at this time: "Quick, pull the handle and stand on the stool!" Xiao Yi didn't say a word, but a cold sweat appeared on his face. She grabbed the armrest on the side like a climbing rope with both hands, and pushed one leg up with great effort, followed by another. She clutched the armrest, her legs curled up half a seat. I can't dream of taking a subway to encounter such a shocking event.

(This article is an excerpt)

concentrate

This article was published in the 2022 issue 4 short story list column of Yanhe

The images are from the Internet