Mr. Yu of Hangzhou Chun'an and his wife Ms. Zhu have been married for 13 years, have a nearly 13-year-old son, husband Mr. Yu said that in the past half a year his wife has been living separately from him in a rented house alone, he is bent on seeking peace, but he can go to the door, but he has eaten the closed door soup many times, but he has made up his mind to ask for help, hoping that his wife can change her mind and go home with him to live a good life.
Led by Mr. Yu, they came to the house rented by Ms. Zhu, and his wife, Ms. Zhu, said that every time her husband came to her, she was particularly excited and scared that she did not dare to open the door. Now that she saw the mediator coming with her husband, she dared to open the door and let her husband into the house.
Indeed, as Ms. Zhu said, as soon as Mr. Yu entered the house, his emotions became excited, he said that his wife did not give him a chance, like this number is not once or twice, but often do not go home, and he also personally caught the fact that his wife betrayed him, as a man he really can not accept. Speaking of this, Mr. Yu swore incoherently that if he lied, he would jump from the window sill.
Some people say that the key to cheating is not right or wrong. The key is how should you face it? How to prevent other people's mistakes from punishing yourself, you can be sad, you don't need to be angry.
Mr. Yu said that that time he came home, just opened the door to see his wife panicked out of the bedroom to take the initiative to ask him for warmth, which made him feel strange, according to the man's intuition there must be someone else in the house, he pushed open the door, only to see a man hiding under the bed, saw him come in The man immediately ran away with his pants, making him so angry that he almost vomited blood.
Ms. Zhu admitted that there was such a thing, when her husband entered the house, because the man was nervous, afraid that his husband would hit him, and hid under the bed in a panic. When the mediator asked her, "What did he do in your room that day?", Ms. Zhu replied lightly: "He just came to pursue me."
It is really ridiculous to hear that he has a family and a husband, and when his husband is not at home, he openly brings the man back, obviously cheating with a third party, but saying that the other party is pursuing himself. This really echoes Tu Lei's sentence: "Explanation is a cover-up, a cover-up is a fact, a fact is dishonest, and an inauthenticity is an under-cleaning."
This Ms. Zhu really lied and did not type a draft. Her husband had personally caught evidence of her cheating, and she was rightly saying that her husband was too emotional. If you change men, I am afraid that I will have already cleaned up a meal for her to remember this lesson, and I will not let her go out to rent a house so freely.
It can be seen that Mr. Yu is an honest man, and he is not good at words, his wife is unfaithful to the marriage, he chose to forgive, but this matter is like a thorn deeply rooted in his heart, and now he still can't calm his inner anger.
Ms. Zhu admitted that it was her own fault, she said that this was what happened the year before, she confessed her mistake many times, but her husband said that he forgave her, but his heart could not pass this hurdle. Hearing his wife say this, Mr. Yu was angry, saying that because of this, his wife had moved with the man three times, and he still had evidence.
Mr. Yu said that, he took out his mobile phone, which had a photo of his wife's battery car parked with the man surnamed Zheng, and the two cars were often placed together. Hearing this makes people can't help but laugh a little, and the battery car is called a relationship. Mr. Yu said that the cars of the two of them are placed together every day, and the monitoring in the factory can be seen, and everyone knows it.
Ms. Zhu said that she definitely did not have this now, because since the incident, the two have stopped interacting, and her words make her husband unable to believe it. In order to confirm that what his wife said was not false, the mediator called Mr. Zheng in person, and the other party said that Ms. Zhu's husband always said that he had a relationship with his wife, whether he saw it or what was wrong, and that the battery car was put together to have a relationship with his wife. Then he wanted to ask Mr. Yu: "If his battery car and other people's cars are put together, is there a relationship?" ”
Mr. Yu was always suspicious of Mr. Zheng's explanation, and even though the mediator hung up the phone, his emotions were still a little agitated. We all know that whether it is with colleagues, friends, and relatives, there must be a degree of interaction, and this degree is called moderate endurance.
The mediator advised Mr. Yu, even if it is between husband and wife, can not guess randomly, Mr. Yu loves his wife is not wrong, but love his wife should also have a degree, can not say that I love my wife I want to possess her, do not allow her to talk and chat with any man, the battery car put together on the random suspicion, not allowed to leave your sight, this is definitely not the way to get along with husband and wife.
Ms. Zhu knows that it is her previous behavior that makes her husband distrust her, so she has tried her best to make up for the mistakes she made before, but her husband still does not forgive her, which makes her feel very tired, because of this distrust, her husband still runs to her in the middle of the night to open her door, suspecting that she is not at home. Because the unit had a night shift, she had to go to work.
As the saying goes, love is a spirit of contract, and when one party cheats, it means that the spirit of contract is broken.
Ms. Zhu said that she has a cheerful personality, likes to sing, used to have frequent dinners in the factory, after eating everyone will go to sing, can not go home on time the number of times is a bit more, which makes the husband very dissatisfied with himself. Now in order to ease the contradictions between husband and wife, she no longer sings songs and does not participate in parties, but her husband is still not at ease with her.
Mr. Yu did not believe his wife's one-sided words at all, saying that the reason why his wife does not attend parties and does not sing now is because she now has a fixed person. Hearing this, the mediator advised Mr. Yu not to doubt his wife and think that everything she did was wrong.
Ms. Zhu also said that she always had to go out, as long as her husband came back and did not see her at home, he would call, and when he heard that she was in the rented house, he would come and knock on the door, which made her really upset.
The mediator believes that the husband's suspicion of his wife is directly related to the current situation of the two separated families. But Ms. Zhu said that it was because the two of them quarreled together that she suggested that her husband move out, she moved back in, and she took care of the children at home. The husband also agreed to move out, but every day she had to come back, and when she arrived at home, the quarrel was a few hours, and the two had no normal communication and communication, so she made up her mind to divorce.
Ms. Zhu said that even if her husband beat her and scolded her, she could still accept it, so endlessly doubting her, she was already mentally broken. Mr. Yu said that as long as the wife promised to give the child a complete home, these things would not happen again. When the mediator asked him "what happened", Mr. Yu said that he was intimate with others.
The mediator said he had not heard any evidence and that he could not ask Ms. Zhu. Hearing the mediator say this, Ms. Zhu cried and said that she really couldn't get by, 100% of it. Because she had already sued once, now she couldn't sue one after another, and she had to wait for half a year to sue again, so she had been waiting.
Hearing that his wife was so determined, Mr. Yu said that divorce was OK, and he should write it out after consultation, and he would go through divorce procedures with his wife. The joint property of the two is this house. Ms. Zhu said that the suite was transferred in the name of the child, whether the child followed her husband or herself.
As for how to pay the mortgage, Mr. Yu said that one person pays a month's mortgage. If the child follows the father, the woman gives the man 800 yuan per month, if the child follows the mother, Mr. Yu also gives the wife 800 yuan per month in maintenance, and the two sides negotiate successfully.
Sentiment Analysis:
Seeing that his wife was going to leave him like this, Mr. Yu was in tears, and he could see his reluctance to this relationship, saying that the boy had tears and did not flick, but did not reach the sad place. It's just that the love has been broken, the fate has been exhausted, rather than quarreling endlessly, it is better to get together and disperse.
1. The wife betrays and the husband cannot let go
The two separated, in fact, the most hurt is their 13-year-old son, throughout the text, I feel that all of Mr. Yu's extremism, doubt, sadness and reluctance are due to the betrayal of his wife, and what makes Mr. Yu unable to let go is that he personally caught the man and hid under their bed, and still ran away with his pants in front of him. How does this make him not angry, not suspicious, not angry? But the mediator went so far as to say that he had not heard any evidence, which was obviously biased in favor of the woman.
In fact, there are many kinds of cheating, not just not unlove. The deceived party may not be able to distinguish between temporary betrayal, anger, and shame, and it depends on whether they really understand their emotions.
After this incident, Ms. Zhu's original attitude of admitting mistakes was problematic, otherwise she would not have made her husband suspicious all the time. Although Mr. Yu originally chose to forgive, the resentment and knot in his heart towards his wife were not eliminated, indicating that the two did not face their marriage well. Because the knot is not solved, how can husband and wife get along normally?
2, the wife is not assured, let the husband control the desire has become a pathology
It is precisely because Mr. Yu is not willing to give up this home, he will hollow out his mind to prevent his wife from cheating again, so his wife's every move is within his control to be at ease, once he finds that his wife is not in his line of sight, he will be restless, so the phone bombardment, looking everywhere, this kind of soulless psychology has become a pathology, even if it is found that his wife's battery car and the other party's car are put together, it has become evidence of his wife's mistakes, and it is his distrust that pushes his wife farther and farther.
3. How to save your wife if you find out that your wife is cheating?
First of all, the wife betrays, the direct harm is the husband, this is an indisputable fact, whether it is a momentary confusion or can not withstand the temptation, the wife must recognize their own problems, if you do not want to divorce, you must be brave to admit your mistakes to the husband to ask for forgiveness, and the attitude should be sincere, can not get by, let the situation develop.
Want to gain the trust of the husband, you must dispel the concerns in the husband's heart, at this time, as a wife to have patience and love, usually care more about the husband, put more energy into the family, let the husband feel your dedication and dedication to the family, he will accept you to return to the family.
Secondly, as a husband, the wife put a green hat on herself, which is a thing that damages self-esteem, just like Mr. Yu, he is reluctant to let his wife leave, if he wants to save his wife's heart, he can't hold on to the matter of cheating, after all, the facts have happened, both sides must directly face good communication, first do not complain and accuse the wife, calmly deal with this matter, ask the reason, and take out the manly husband's arrogance.
Unfortunately, he is not good at communication, but uses a paranoid attitude to confront his wife, not only did not save his wife's heart, but also used an attitude of doubting everything to distrust her. The most important thing in maintaining the marriage relationship is mutual trust, although the fault lies in the wife, but his behavior not only hurts the wife but also arouses the woman's disgust, so that divorce becomes inevitable.