The world of feelings is like a besieged city, where people on the outside are desperately squeezing in, and people inside are desperately trying to get out.
There is a saying: "Amorous is always hurt mercilessly." ”
In any relationship, your expectations are too high, and you will be particularly disappointed. When you reach a certain age, you will understand that the so-called companionship is just "one report and one report".
When people reach old age, whether they can live in their old age or not, in the final analysis, is what you have paid. You're just struggling to get some of what you've given back.
No matter who you live with, you live with yourself, and all the hilarity is an illusion. Only your own feelings are the most true.
01
In this life, only you can save yourself.
The writer Sanmao once said: "The heart is like a thousand and one thousands of miles, and there is no boat to cross." Man, except for self-indulgence, cannot be helped by others. ”
No matter how old you are, when you stand still and wait for someone else to come to your rescue, it means that you are ruined.
As long as there is breath, it should not stop fighting. Older, less powerful, less brainy, this is not an excuse for you to stand still.
On a language test paper, there is a story about a 18-year-old high school student, John Thomson, who works alone on a farm in North Dakota, USA.
Suddenly, he fell, his sleeves were swept into the machine, and both arms were badly injured. Holding back the pain, he ran to a nearby house, opened the door with his teeth, then grabbed a pencil and dialed his cousin's phone.
Later, he was rescued.
Someone praised him this way: "In addition to admiring his courage and endurance, people have a spirit of independence. He operated the machine alone on the farm, and when something happened, he was tenacious and self-helped, so he was good. ”
The writer Jimmy wrote in "Starry Sky": "Where there is a shadow, there must be light." ”
The world will not be particularly friendly to everyone, nor will it take care of every elderly person. There are always some dark areas that will make you miserable.
No matter what happens, you insist on relying on yourself, then there will be light in your heart, and you will never be afraid again.
When people are old, they are afraid of this and that, and what they are most afraid of is "relying on the old and selling the old and counting on others"; the most gentle rest of their lives is "self-help".
02
Who you are with, you also have to rely on your own "love" and "money".
There is an old couple, the man is called Gu Xiangdong, and the woman is called Gao Zhixia.
Many years ago, Gao Zhixia had cancer and lay in the hospital for two or three years. When she underwent ten rounds of chemotherapy, she couldn't hold on any longer.
Gu Xiangdong resolutely decided to give up treatment and take his wife on a trip.
Along the way, all the way, they survived more than twenty years and are still alive and well. In order to take care of his wife, Gu Xiangdong suffered a lot, but he was willing to do so.
In fact, their ending, at a young age, was predestined. At the beginning, they were all ordinary people, gao Zhixia went to work, then went to school, went to college, and then became a teacher, Gu Xiangdong was always a worker, but they did not give up, and they did not care about "the door to the door".
When you are young, bury a "love seed", it will take root and sprout in middle age, and when you are old, your feelings will flourish.
The wife who is willing to accompany you to watch the sunset is actually returning you a "love" with her heart.
If you rely on your children and live in your children's homes, it seems that your children are very generous and kind, but in fact they owe you a favor.
From the moment your child is born, you try your best to get him to go to a good school, get dressed, and make good friends. You also take your children on a journey and grow up to see.
Later, when your children have jobs, you find a way to help buy a house, and you break your heart for them to start a family. Of course, you will also help with your grandchildren and reduce the burden on your children's families.
The novelist Xi Silk once said: "The debt of emotion is a bad debt that can never be calculated." Having received a lifetime of kindness, I am grateful for my life, and I cannot return love, but that love will always be remembered in my heart. ”
The people you meet in this life are all debts owed in previous lives; the people who accompany you to the end are all the feelings left over from the first half of your life.
Whoever you spend the rest of your life with can find the love you have left behind.
Of course, to achieve a "love", it always costs a sum of money. With money, tenderness to yourself, enthusiasm for your family, and true affection for your loved ones.
03
Being with loneliness is a compulsory course in life.
Haruki Murakami once said: "Don't be emotional, don't secretly miss, don't look back." Go live a different life of your own. You have to obey that not all fish will live in the same sea. ”
In this world, there is no one who is truly "like-minded" with you, even if it is a husband and wife, there are different jobs, thinking about different problems, and different.
People are old and you can be taken care of in life, but you can't mentally expect someone to understand.
"Because the soul has a distance, there is a blooming loneliness" wrote: "There is nothing more lonely than loneliness itself." The deepest loneliness cannot be explained. The loneliness that comes out, no matter how loud, is already hoarse. ”
Admittedly, your loneliness has no place to talk about. If you live a particularly cheap life, then you are not qualified to shout loneliness, you say that you are "so sad", and others think that you are a crazy person.
People are getting old, and the people around them are slowly decreasing. Elders will die one by one, friends will be alienated, parents will take a step first, wives can't die on the same day as you, children can't accompany you every day, colleagues become strangers on the day you retire... Always walk alone.
With yourself, the key is to be with "loneliness", although the world is always very lively, but you have to get used to hanging in the shadows, but also to give yourself a good look.
Learn to enjoy the loneliness, and you will find that being alone is really good.
04
There is a way that the sunset is infinitely better, just near dusk.
Many people lament the ruthlessness of the years and worry about the darkness after dusk.
The host, Ni Ping, wrote in the book: "Grandma said that when it is dark, who can pull the sun and not let it go down? You have to lie down. ”
Life is late, life is difficult, but don't be afraid. As long as you can breathe well when the sun rises in the morning, it is a blessing.
There is money to live a good life, no money to live a good mood.
Remember, life is full of suffering, only self-transit.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.