How to be strong to be fearless of death, how to be optimistic, in order to face death at the moment, but also to be able to persuade the family.
Huang Enyu, a leukemia girl, in the last 24 days of her life, decided to leave the hospital, give up treatment, and go home to wait for death, while advising her parents and relatives not to be sad.
The condition recurs and there is no hope of returning to school
Before 2013, Huang Enyu was still a happy girl, born in Fuqing, Fujian Province, although she was the eldest daughter in the family, there were two younger sisters and a younger brother at the bottom, but her parents never had too much harshness on herself.
The daily routine is the two-point line between home and school, and sometimes, rising up will play crazy with siblings.
Such a day came to an abrupt end on the day when Huang Enyu's "leukemia" was diagnosed, and now that he thinks about it, no one can spy on what Huang Enyu, who was only 10 years old at the time, was thinking in his heart.
Maybe he was stunned, maybe he didn't know, but after all, since then, Huang Enyu said goodbye to school, said goodbye to homework, said goodbye to his classmates who lived day and night, and was with the hospital ward.
At the beginning of chemotherapy was not so painful, but with the increase in the number of chemotherapy, the side effects were slowly revealed, nausea when eating, forcing themselves to eat something, after vomiting, vomiting and then eating, even serious to spit bile and blood, hair fell one by one, the face was pale day by day, and the spirit was a little bit weak.
Huang Enyu's parents looked in the eyes and hurt in their hearts, and could only try to do something that Huang Enyu liked to eat and could eat, hoping to make Huang Enyu's body better, so as not to be wasted by long-term nutrient solution.
In order to treat Huang Enyu's illness, Huang's father and mother ran around, both for money and for livelihood.
So a flash is five years of time, life in the transplant warehouse, for Huang Enyu is even more difficult to live, every day to get injections, draw blood, a lot of blood tubes, eat and drink Lasa are at the bedside, sometimes Huang Enyu feels, that is not treatment but prison, turn around and think about tired parents, Huang Enyu stubbornly survived again and again.
The treatment of the transplant warehouse is boring and tedious, there is no shortage of examples of transplant success or failure, whenever this time, Huang Enyu will always think of the little sister who met before entering the transplant warehouse.
She suffers from the same disease as Huang Enyu, almost what Huang Enyu has experienced, she has experienced, and even the little sister has undergone a bone marrow transplant, but unfortunately, the disease has recurred again, and the little sister has finally passed away.
Every time he thought of this, Huang Enyu would ask Huang Mama, "Is that sister already in heaven?" If she's in heaven, I can play with her when I die, not afraid at all. ”
Huang Mama wiped her tears and gently stroked Huang Enyu: "Don't talk nonsense." ”
The treatment is steadily advancing, after the bone marrow transplant surgery, the heart of the Huang family is temporarily fixed, as long as the next examination shows normal, then Huang Enyu can get rid of the disease and regain a new life.
On the afternoon of May 2018, Huang Enyu and his mother came to the hospital to collect the blood phase review report of the last examination, and after the report was taken, the mother and daughter walked on the way home, silent.
Huang Enyu glanced up at his mother's look, and as he walked across the overpass in Wuyi Square in Fuzhou, he asked, "Mom, what are we eating at noon today?" ”
Huang Mu lowered her head, as if to return to God: "Let's eat outside today." ”
Hearing his mother's words, Huang Enyu, who has always been sensitive, stopped and asked, "Mother, has my leukemia recurred?" ”
Huang Enyu asked easily, but this sentence was like turning on Huang Mu's tear gland switch, and she suddenly squatted on the ground and cried loudly.
Attracted by the crying, the pedestrians on the road stretched their necks in an attempt to find out where the cry was, and Huang Enyu gently patted his mother's back to comfort the woman who was desperate to cry in the street.
At this time, a thought gradually arose in Huang Enyu's mind, watching his mother crying, and his thoughts became clearer and clearer.
After returning home, Huang Enyu repeatedly thought about the entanglement, and finally exhaled a long breath and explained his attitude to his parents: "Dad, Mom, we are not cured, stop all the medicines, let me spend the last time at home." ”
Huang Dad's mother and Huang Mom heard their daughter's words, and the tears that could not be stopped flowed in an instant, Huang Enyu reiterated it again, and Huang Mom asked with certainty: "Do you want to spend the last moment at home or in the hospital?" ”
Huang Enyu raised a smile: "At home." ”
This is the first decision That Huang Enyu made for his life, no longer passively accepting the advice of his parents or doctors, but a decision that is really his own.
Even if this decision was too cruel for the Huang family, as long as Huang Enyu could survive this inspection normally, then a good life, a flower-like life, would follow.
However, Huang Enyu did not survive, and could only passively accept the arrangement of fate, Huang Dad and Huang Mom finally listened to Huang Enyu's advice, took her home, and spent the last time at home.
When leaving the hospital, Huang Enyu's attending doctor shook his head and sighed: "There may be a month or so." ”
This sentence made the footsteps of the husband and wife who were about to step on the door eaves stiffen, and then they took a firm step.
Withering, wasting, the last 24 days
The last five years of Huang Enyu's life have been accompanied by leukemia, and in May 2018, due to a recurrence after a bone marrow transplant, this time Huang Enyu chose to give up treatment and go home to spend the last time of the rest of his life.
Five years of travel and treatment have long consumed the Huang family's family wealth, and now there is only a four-walled house for a family of 6 to rely on.
Leaving the hospital and returning home, Huang No longer needs to do painful bone marrow punctures, invisible blood tests, and repeated chemotherapy treatments.
These are undoubtedly gifts for Huang Enyu, who has been suffering from diseases for five years, and now she finally has the opportunity to try something that she has never tried before.
First of all, there is food, when she first returned home, although Huang Enyu was weak, she still had the strength to operate the kitchen utensils, which also allowed her to exert her skills.
In addition to the regular variety of dishes, Huang Enyu also tried to bake cakes in the oven, each of which was made decent and tasted good, which also allowed her younger siblings to feast on their appetites.
Huang Enyu knows in his heart everything his parents have done for his illness, and although his parents want to fulfill some of her wishes in the last moments of her daughter's life, Huang Enyu has always shown great frugality.
In the month when he first returned home, Huang's father and mother saw that Huang Enyu's mental state and physical state were still good, so they proposed to go out to play and relax their mood.
"Eun Yu, where do you want to go to play?" Wherever you want to go, Mom and Dad will satisfy you. ”
Huang Enyu thought left and right, and after deliberating and deliberating, "I want to go to Pingtan Island and see the sea." ”
So where is this Pingtan Island that Made Huang Enyu deliberate and repeatedly agree to go?
"Pingtan Island", the largest island in Fujian, has a long history and beautiful scenery, Huang Enyu's reason for choosing Pingtan Island is very simple, because it is very close to Fuqing, and it is only 20 or 30 kilometers away from Huangjia.
Huang Enyu's last trip in life was to see the sea and blow the sea breeze on Pingtan Island with his parents, brothers and sisters.
In order not to make Huang Enyu's life at home too difficult, Huang's father and mother bought a TV set, and the family sat around the TV to pass the time, and before that, the Huang family did not have a TV set.
As the days passed, on July 25, 2018, a public welfare photographer followed Lin Bin, secretary general of the Fujian Poverty Relief Association, to Huang Enyu's home in Fuqing, Fujian Province, and met such a family, and then recorded the last 24 days of this little girl who fought against cancer with his own lens.
In the last days, cancer cells spread all over Huang Enyu's body and eventually went to the brain, and the most direct consequence of this was that Huang Enyu lost weight at a speed visible to the naked eye.
In addition to the emaciation of the body, Huang Enyu will be numb from time to time, falling into a brief trance, his face is sore, and he cannot react.
Huang's father and mother Huang saw this, knowing that Huang Enyu was suffering from illness, but they could not help her, Huang Mom's anxious tears slipped down one by one, and the couple was busy massaging them, trying to make her feel better.
In the last days, the symptoms of almost all the terminally ill patients with leukemia were displayed one by one on Huang Enyu's body, and when he left the hospital, the doctor's sentence "Expected to survive for a month" also seemed to give Huang Enyu an ultimatum to his life.
On July 25, Huang Enyu still had the strength to go from the second floor to the first floor, but after that, he could no longer do such a simple thing as going downstairs.
On the evening of August 4, Huang Enyu suddenly had a high fever, and the panicked Huang Dad and Huang Mama could only prepare the spiritual hall on the first floor, fortunately, at dawn, Huang Enyu's fever subsided.
Huang Mama breathed a long sigh of relief: "Live a day to earn a day, live half a day to earn half a day." ”
Huang Ma's wish could not have been smaller, and the family hurriedly removed the spiritual hall, but the two brand-new wooden benches placed in the lobby on the first floor showed the "thrilling" of the previous night.
On August 5, after Huang Enyu, who was in good health, went to the bathroom, went to the balcony to look out, and then reflexively folded back into the bedroom, the bare decorations along the way revealed the "embarrassment" of the Huang family.
Many "wonderful" moments of the Huang family are recorded in the camera, and how many unknown heartaches and how many strong smiles there are in those smiling moments, the photographer himself can't tell.
Among these works, the most satisfying thing is the family portrait of the Huang family, which became the last family portrait taken by the Huang family together.
At that time, Huang Enyu's body was already very stiff, and Huang's mother let her sit on a chair to relieve some discomfort, and the Huang family stood at Huang Enyu's side.
Huang Enyu sat on a chair, the smile on his face was not revealed, his body was stiff, and before he could shout down the shooting, Huang Enyu couldn't help but look up to find his mother.
Huang Mama saw her daughter look up at her eyes, and she did not restrain herself, bowed her head, ignored the presence of the camera, and reflected a kiss on Huang Enyu's forehead.
After the photo was taken, Huang Enyu quickly returned to bed and lay down, for her, in the last ten days of her life, it was difficult to maintain a sitting position.
In the last days, people from all walks of life often come to the Huang family to visit Huang Enyu, and all they can do at that time is to pray with the Huang family and pray that the god of death can release this little girl whose life has not yet begun.
The danger of leukemia is not comparable to other common diseases, immunocompromised patients even if it is just an ordinary cough of passers-by, it will also make them die because of lung interference, not to mention, at that time, Huang Enyu has completely stopped all drugs.
Huang Enyu is a sensible and strong child, even at the end of her life, the pain has tortured her to see the once lively appearance, she still persuades her family many times, in the face of her mother's tears, Huang Enyu will smile and persuade her mother not to cry.
At five o'clock in the morning of August 17, Huang Mama sent a message to the photographer: "Enyu is dying." ”
The photographer who received the news had a giggle in his heart, and then quickly packed his bags and prepared to rush from Xiamen to Fuqing to send Huang Enyu on his last journey.
At the same time, five hours before Huang Enyu completely swallowed his breath, Huang Enyu, who was trembling all over, was still comforting his parents: "Daddy I'm fine, Mom don't worry." ”
The simple words were like a sword piercing Huang Ma's heart, and the tears could no longer hold on, and they burst out of her eyes, and she could only hold Huang Enyu's hand and nod her head.
At nine o'clock, Huang Enyu's heart stopped beating and he never breathed again, and the strong, brave and optimistic Huang Enyu stayed at the age of 15 forever.
Huang Mama gently caressed Huang Enyu's cheek and murmured, "It's like falling asleep." ”
In the afternoon, Huang Enyu was sent to the funeral home for cremation, and the Huang family was worried that Huang Mama would lose control of her emotions at that time, so they did not let her go to say goodbye.
At the cremation scene, when huang Enyu's body was pushed forward, everyone could not restrain themselves and sobbed in a low voice, and the younger brother cried while comforting his two sisters: "The eldest sister knows that she will be angry." ”
Mama Huang waited quietly at home until in the evening, when the family returned with the cremation slip, mama Huang reached out and took it, looking through the cremation slip over and over again.
"Enyu, you are gone, you are the eternal pain in your mother's heart."
Huang Mama lay on the bed and murmured, "When Enyu burns, it will be gone, and when Enyu burns, it will be gone..."
When the sister heard her mother's words, she immediately retorted: "She is in heaven." ”
According to the local funeral customs of Fuqing, it is necessary to erect the bed of the deceased before death, so that the deceased can walk cleanly and freely, without leaving any thoughts.
Therefore, Huang Enyu's sister and grandmother put the blanket that Huang Enyu used before his death on the balcony to dry, looking at the distance, perhaps at this moment, Enyu has already met with the little sister, and they will go to the country without illness together.
On the second day of Huang Enyu's death, when the photographer took a train back to Xiamen at the station of Sanshan Town in Fuqing, Fujian Province, he looked up and saw that a typhoon was coming, and a swallow was chirping and rolling between the clouds, so the scene made the photographer's heart full of mixed feelings.
Still in the heart
In the animated movie "Dream Quest", there is such a view of death: as long as there are still people in the world who remember, the deceased people will always be there.
The experience of the last 24 days of Huang Enyu's life, for this photographer, is to be able to enter the memory of more people with the dissemination of information.
So, for Huang Enyu's younger siblings, what kind of person is this sister who left them early at the age of 15? What is the most profound thing about Huang Enyu in their memories?
"I told my eldest sister that I was hungry and I wanted to eat, and then my eldest sister said, 'Shall I pay for noodles and come back?' And then after buying it back, just take a bite of you, I take a bite, she finishes eating me, I finish eating her, so it has been divided, and soon a bowl will be eaten. ”
"Big sister, she plays games at a higher level than me, she likes the mage the most, this person, she, lively and cute, and there is, in nature, I dare to say, dare to do."
The above is Huang Enyu in the mouth of the two younger sisters.
"Cook me a late-night snack every night." This is in the eyes of his brother, Huang Enyu has done the most unforgettable and touching thing for him, the children's likes and dislikes are very simple, whether a person is good to himself, very simple, but also very easy to understand.
In Huang Enyu's last days, when asked about her wishes, she simply hoped that her father would stop smoking, her mother would not work so hard anymore, and her younger siblings could grow up healthy and happy.
Huang Enyu's younger siblings all believe that their sister will live happily and happily in heaven, and there will be no more illness in her life, and flowers will bloom everywhere she goes.
Exhausted the family wealth, poured out everything, Huang Dad And Huang Mama still failed to keep their beloved daughter, so young, so the open-mindedness and courage to face death are every time they think of it, it makes Huang Mama cry.
The deceased is gone, and the living still have to face life stronger.
In 2019, on the first anniversary of Huang Enyu's death, the photographer who recorded huang Enyu's last 24 days once again remembered this little girl who faced life and death.
In 2022, this is the fourth year that Huang Enyu left, Huang Dad finally quit cigarettes because of Huang Enyu's deathly wishes, and Huang Mom is still busy, whenever the eldest daughter is mentioned, the couple's look will be much darker.
Because of Huang Enyu's departure, the frequency of disputes between the two is much less, and they deeply realize that life is impermanent, and there is really no need to argue for the sake of triviality.
In addition to their daily studies, Huang Enyu's younger siblings returned home, always not forgetting to share some housework for Huang Mama, reducing Huang Mama's burden, they remembered her sister's instructions before her death, and they also knew how to study hard and strive to let their parents live a good life in the future.
The departure of the sister has caused the family to lose too much laughter, looking at the parents who are often sad, the three sisters and brothers are not happy in their hearts.
However, life will not end because of Huang Enyu's departure, and the Huang family has been trying to move forward.
Because of Huang Enyu's illness, the Huang family owes a lot of money, and now, in order to repay this foreign debt, the Huang family's parents work very hard, and their biggest hope now is that the three children can be healthy and healthy, study well, and get ahead in the future.
"There is no big expectation, the biggest wish is that a few children can grow up smoothly and be down-to-earth." Mother Huang said this to the neighbors around her.