01
In 1991, Zhang Zhihua took the initiative to file for divorce from Guo Kaimin. No one ever expected that the two people who came together not for fame and profit, but only for love, would eventually be unable to escape the "seven-year itch".
Later, Zhang Zhihua was asked why she first opened her mouth to talk about divorce, and she replied: "I feel that I don't love, why should I be together?" It doesn't matter if I'm a person who suffers, but it can't hurt my dignity. ”
The corners of her mouth were gently raised, and those eyes with hidden tears had already betrayed her.
When you are in love, your eyes are full of wind and snow, and when you don't love, it seems that even breathing is wrong.
A woman should not give up her career for marriage, for the sake of so-called love.
To truly understand this truth, Zhang Zhihua spent a full eleven years.
02
When Zhang Zhihua was a child, with big eyes and melon face, when the neighbors saw this female doll, they could not help but praise: "This girl is the material for TV when she looks at it!" ”
Sure enough, Zhang Zhihua from elementary school, to junior high school, to high school, is the best among his peers.
When Zhang Zhihua was in junior high school, it was the reception of various major state visits, and at that time, as a student representative, she presented flowers to foreign heads of state.
Those foreign leaders especially loved to listen to Peking Opera, perhaps because they had heard about it, and gradually Zhang Zhihua also developed a strong interest in Peking Opera.
Once, because of the need for performance, Zhang Zhihua also ran to sing Lao Dan.
Zhang Ruifang, who later taught her to perform, found it particularly interesting: "I grew a face of Li Tiemei, but I sang the play of my grandmother." ”
In 1975, when Zhang Zhihua was 17 years old, she starred in the first black-and-white movie in her life, "Little General".
Zhang Zhihua can star in this movie, it can be said that it is completely an "accident", because the film needs to be remade, and the adjustment of the actors, Zhang Zhihua, who has never shown his face on the big screen, just picked up a leak.
Meanwhile, her first husband, Guo Kaimin, had just stepped onto the threshold of the Shanghai Film Studio.
The gears of fate, which only began to turn slowly.
In 1980, Guo Kaimin, Gong Xue and Zhang Zhihua co-starred in the movie "Good Things and Many Grinding", as the male and female protagonists, Guo Kaimin and Gong Xue did not rub out the spark of love.
On the contrary, Zhang Zhihua, who did not play much in the film, fell in love with this tall, handsome, gentle and elegant boy.
The love of young people, like a tender shoot in spring, takes root when you are not careful.
Before Zhang Zhihua could return to her senses in the sweetness of her first love, she tasted the sour taste.
Guo Kaimin soon received another drama - "Lushan Love", a movie that made him popular all over the country.
This time, the heroine next to Guo Kaimin is Zhang Yu. The emotional interpretation of the two people, just the right atmosphere, added a lot to the film.
Zhang Zhihua can often hear people around him discuss Guo Kaimin's gossip like this: "If Guo Kaimin has a girlfriend, it should be Zhang Yu!" ”
As an actor, reason told her that Guo Kaimin and Zhang Yu were just acting.
As a girlfriend, emotions tell her: in the long run, will he change his heart and like others?
In fact, in the cooperation with Zhang Yu several times, Guo Kaimin also felt her charm, saying that it was false to say that there was no heart.
It's just that at that time, Guo Kaimin already had Zhang Zhihua, a legitimate girlfriend, and all his beautiful thoughts were also placed in the play.
As an actor, Guo Kaimin can also feel the little nine-nines in Zhang Zhihua's heart, and after filming, he specially comforted her: "That is nothing, I am the only one in my heart now!" ”
Even so, Zhang Zhihua's heart was still seven up and eight down.
You know, Guo Kaimin has become a "public lover" in the eyes of girls, and even many people have sent love letters to Guo Kaimin.
When Guo Kaimin was red, people often compared him with Tang Guoqiang, the "cream boy".
This also laid hidden dangers for him and Zhang Zhihua and his wife to drift apart in the future.
In 1985, Guo Kaimin and Zhang Zhihua joined hands to enter the palace of marriage.
Zhang Zhihua was full of joy, thinking that he had finally harvested the love and happiness he imagined, but he did not know that the real tragedy had just begun.
Two years after marriage, Zhang Zhihua gave birth to a baby boy named Guo Cheng.
When Guo Cheng was born, Zhang Zhihua had difficulty giving birth and hemorrhaged, and suffered a lot.
From production to confinement, Guo Kaimin did not appear next to Zhang Zhihua, he was at the Beijing Film Academy, and Tang Guoqiang, Song Chunli, Jiang Lili and others exchanged and studied together.
Two years of campus study and life have enriched Guo Kaimin's knowledge and opened his eyes.
In the year of the child's birth, Guo Kaimin tirelessly absorbed the knowledge of directing, and directed the first work of his life, "Yangjingbin Brothers".
The gap between him and Zhang Zhihua is getting bigger and bigger, and the gap is getting deeper and deeper.
For a long time, Zhang Zhihua not only had to stand up with a big belly, but also take care of the whole family, and the art he once loved was gradually buried in chai rice oil and salt.
03
In 1990, despite the opposition of his family and colleagues, Guo Kaimin resolutely decided to leave the Shanghai Film Studio where he had worked for 15 years, and he pinned his future on the distant Hainan.
Guo Kaimin stubbornly believes that as an actor, you can only act, and when you become a director, you can grasp the soul of the whole play.
Hainan was a turning point in his life, his dreams, his youth, his blood, all there.
However, behind this ambition, what is sacrificed is the happiness of a family of three and Zhang Zhihua's career.
At that time, Zhang Zhihua really could not understand her husband's thoughts, as an actor, Guo Kaimin's achievements in acting had long surpassed other male actors of the same era.
Since it was enough to feed their families, why did they have to abandon their mothers and daughters and run to pursue their illusory dreams?
For this, the two often quarreled, and in the end, Zhang Zhihua was also tired, so he went with him.
Perhaps it confirmed Zhang Zhihua's idea that in the two years he went to Hainan, Guo Kaimin was only arranged to be a guest host in the Ministry of Literature and Art, and there was no formal establishment.
From a well-known actor to a temporary worker in a TELEVISION station, Guo Kaimin experienced for the first time in his life what is called: the ideal is very full, the reality is very bone.
However, Guo Kaimin, who has always been super resistant to pressure, did not lose too long in the face of this small setback.
Soon, Guo Kaimin found a new way: become his own boss and open a film company!
After leaving the TV station, Guo Kaimin looked around for someone to invest, and successively filmed several works: "Tianlun", "Tracking 309" and "Very Police".
It is said that he is a director, the fundraiser is Guo Kaimin, the film is Guo Kaimin, the release is still Guo Kaimin, almost everything has to be done by himself.
However, these works are like a few stones thrown into the water, and the surface of the water is still undisturbed, not even a splash.
Tang Guoqiang and Chen Chong, who set off from the same starting line as him, had already won the honor of film emperor and film queen.
Guo Kaimin, who is preoccupied with his career, has no time to take care of Zhang Zhihua and his son Guo Cheng at home.
Zhang Zhihua knew in his heart: instead of entangled with each other, it is better to let go as soon as possible.
Zhang Zhihua was fed up with being left out in the cold, and took Guo Cheng, who was only 4 years old, and left the home where she had lived for so many years.
Unexpectedly, not long after the divorce, Guo Kaimin met his soul confidant: Liu Xiaochun.
The two are also related to the drama, but this time it is different from Zhang Zhihua's "Lalang match".
After marriage, Guo Kaimin and Liu Xiaochun were almost never separated, and Liu Xiaochun also supported Guo Kaimin's career in various ways.
In order to live, Liu Xiaochun also went to work in the property company.
The flash marriage between the two made Guo Kaimin's mother very emotional: "When Zhang Zhihua and Guo Kaimin were together, they suffered a lot of grievances, and Liu Xiaochun was much happier with him." ”
After the divorce, Zhang Zhihua did several people's work alone, dubbing, singing Peking Opera, hosting, as long as Zhang Zhihua would do it, she did it.
"At most, I change the studio 5 times a day, and I feel like a ghost, from morning to night in the studio, it's all dark, I can't see the sun."
Chinese New Year's Eve, when everyone else was sitting around for a reunion dinner, Zhang Zhihua was still "walking around the cave".
When Guo Cheng was young, he always mentioned his father Guo Kaimin, and Zhang Zhihua always said: "He has his own career to be busy, and he will come back to see you when he has time." ”
Zhang Zhihua thought: Since we have broken up peacefully, we should not denigrate each other.
In front of the child, Zhang Zhihua never said that Guo Kaimin should not say a word.
She knew in her heart that in this failed marriage, what was more uncomfortable than Zhang Zhihua was her son Guo Cheng.
On the other side, Guo Kaimin, after the divorce, gradually understood that Zhang Zhihua's difficulty.
He described her in an interview: "Zhang Zhihua is a very kind person, but also a very family person, it is very good to marry her, but I am a person who loves to toss." ”
One yearns for freedom, the distance and the sea, and the other only wants stability in the present moment.
After the divorce, Zhang Zhihua, who has strong self-esteem, is unwilling to return to her mother's house and let her parents see her lost and depressed, but chooses to earn money to support her family.
The parents saw that their daughter was working so hard, and their hearts and bodies were hit, and they really couldn't bear it, so they took Guo Cheng over later.
With the help of his parents, Zhang Zhihua has more energy to put into his career.
Just a few years after leaving the show business circle, Zhang Zhihua wanted to quickly keep up with the pace, and it was not so easy at all.
It was hard to receive a movie, but for various reasons, on the eve of the release, all her shots were cut.
Recommended by a friend to play the heroine of a movie, the result is about to start, and was told that the actor was changed.
All of Zhang Zhihua's efforts and efforts seem to have not been rewarded as they deserve.
04
The double blow of marriage has made Zhang Zhihua's heart window confined, and he has not fallen in love for many years.
It was not until 1998 that Zhang Zhihua ushered in a career turnaround.
The outstanding performance in the movie "Mr. Zhao" allowed Zhang Zhihua to win the highest gold leopard award in Locarno, Switzerland.
During this time, Zhang Zhihua met her second husband: the painter who was 15 years older than her, Cha Guojun.
With the help of friends, the two slowly came together.
Although Zha Guojun is also married for the second time and has two sons, this does not affect his feelings for Zhang Zhihua.
At first, Zhang Zhihua did not fully accept Zha Guojun, but Guo Cheng, who was full of admiration for this painter's uncle.
Guo Cheng likes to draw, and every time he comes to Zha Guojun's home, he always has to stay for a few hours before he is willing to go home.
Looking at the picture of this mature man getting along with his son, Zhang Zhihua decided in his heart: He is the person I want to spend my life with.
As it turns out, the best is always behind.
Zha Guojun knows that after Zhang Zhihua experienced a failed marriage, the thing he most hoped that the other party would do was to be good to Guo Cheng.
After the two got married, Zha Guojun promised Zhang Zhihua: "You can rest assured, I will treat Guo Cheng as if he were his own son." ”
Just as the so-called love house and Wu, Zha Guojun's love for Zhang Zhihua has been the same for decades, and the same is true for Guo Cheng, the stepson.
What is completely different from the first marriage is that from the outside world, Guo Kaimin and Zhang Zhihua are like "golden children and jade girls", and Zhang Zhihua's sadness and pain are not enough for outsiders.
When she met Zha Guojun, she truly felt comfortable and independent from her family.
Their love, nothing vigorous, more, is the silent tenderness of the moisturizer.
"My husband watches more TV dramas than I do, we often watch them together, and we discuss good movies together." Those bad movies, sometimes I get angry after watching them for a few minutes, but he relishes them. ”
"Then I'll go to another room and watch TV, or go to the study and read a book."
This is the life she wants in one room, two people, three meals, and four seasons.
After Zhang Zhihua and Guo Kaimin separated, they both found the happiness that really belonged to them, as if the 6-year marriage was only a short -term "accident".
In Zhang Zhihua's life, Guo Kaimin seems to be just a passer-by.
Zhang Zhihua's youth was dedicated to Guo Kaimin, and the final evaluation from Guo Kaimin's mouth was only words such as "kindness" and "home".
Perhaps from the beginning, their love was a mistake.
No one can conclude that Guo Kaimin treats love perfunctorily, treats marriage irresponsibly, and when he is with Zhang Zhihua, Guo Kaimin is focused on his career, and after marrying Liu Xiaochun, Guo Kaimin will discuss with her when things happen, although there will also be quarrels, but rarely red face.
This is probably the difference between loving and not loving.
Later, Guo Kaimin finally knew that not all ideals and ambitions can be realized by a passion.
When you are young, you can still use the word "young" as an excuse to squander it, and in middle age, you will understand that stability is the greatest happiness in life.
结语：第一段婚姻于张芝华而言，是痛苦的，但也是一种历练，如果时光倒流，她还是会和郭凯敏结婚，但她绝不会因为婚姻而放弃所有。
As Zhang Zhihua said: "A person must first love himself, and then he can love others, rather than giving all his love to the point of drying up." By the time you feel that you have nothing more to give, you actually have no ability, and you have no choice but to spend it. ”