As I've said before, compounding starts with friends. As a result, many silly girls ran to their ex and said, "Let's be friends."
Your heads are too straight, I didn't tell you a point, you are going to be stupid.
I repeat, you listen carefully, there's a big taboo after a breakup – don't pull your ex back into rational thinking mode!
That is to say, you should not rationally discuss emotional issues with him.
Anything that causes him to think about the relationship itself, you don't ask.
For example, if you ask him, "Or let's be friends," that's pulling him into a mode of rational thinking.
Your ex will start thinking about being a friend, whether you can do it, whether you want to do it, how to do it.
Especially boys, have you noticed that when he began to think rationally about this matter, he had no emotion to interfere with his judgment, and gave you a generally negative response.
This boy receives your question, after his rational thinking is dominant, the brain begins to analyze the problem, can it be done to be a friend? Can't do it! Should it be done? No!
Why? Because you have broken up, you should clear up the relationship and hurry out.
Some girls say that I, I chased my ex-boyfriend, was good to him, and said that it was only good for him as a friend, why did he always reject it?
It is precisely because of the relationship between friends, if a friend does a lot of things that exceed the boundaries of friends, such as you are too sticky to him, looking for him all day, or you still want to roll the sheets with him, just like a girlfriend, he feels that this friend can't do ah, break up should be divided into profits, or it is a repeat of the same old road.
When he rationally thinks about the relationship itself, it is very easy to reject you, ask you for dinner, refuse, date, refuse, ask him "can you talk to me" and refuse.
Because he thought about it carefully, broke up, don't do this, shouldn't be like this, be rational.
When you ask him if he can be a friend, you are leading him to think about whether he should be a friend or not.
However, some boys are more soft-hearted, you tell him to be friends, after all, it is better, he agreed in order to protect your self-esteem.
But his inner logic of thinking will not change, and you will find that even if he agrees, he is still very distant from you.
It will not be as you think, in the name of being a friend, you can chase him unscrupulously, he will reject you even more fiercely.
So what to do?
It's very simple, just bypass the topic of friends, why should you guide him to think rationally, you want to be a friend directly to be a friend, want to chat directly start to send chat content in the past, do not be careful in language to ask.
The way of giving directly is much better than asking him if he wants it.
You are a friend, not a business, not a restaurant opening, but also a ribbon-cutting ceremony.
If you want to be friends with each other, you can get along with each other in a friendly way and be with him very naturally.
Blurring your relationship after a breakup is the best way to handle it for a long time.
If you introduce him into the way of rational thinking, it is equivalent to clarifying your relationship, and it is a repetition of clarity.
Every time you ask to be a friend, or ask some "can I..." "Can I..." "Do we want to..." This kind of question is not only easy to reject, but also has a greater risk.
It's about helping him clarify your current relationship time and time again.
Every time you say " let's be friends " , it 's like having his brain repeat "We broke up and shouldn't be in contact again" or "We can be friends, but we can't do things that go beyond the boundaries of friends."
When he thinks so, you ask him out again, or take the initiative to give, and you are rejected.
And he was once reminded of the fact that he had broken up.
In this way, the breakup will never go away, and the man will draw more and more boundaries.
So I tell you, the best way to pursue love is to be vague, to be unclear, to be between an ex, a friend, a stranger, a confidant.
And you have to switch identities back and forth according to the border, so that you can attack and retreat.
Advance can promote the relationship, retreat can be obscene development.
Is there anything important about whether you are friends or not? What is your relationship now and what is important? Being a friend is just a process, a means, a shell borrowed, and this shell silently protects you, don't take it out as an excuse or a shield.
The specific relationship does not need to be mentioned, it is blurred, the promotion of ambiguity, the heating up, the different roles switch back and forth, and even let the other party doubt what kind of relationship you have, he doubts, basically not far from the compound.
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C