"Heart Residence" has been popular for some time, but a hot search in recent days has made many people break the defense!
For 8 years, the stay-at-home mother played by Haiqing has been living a life of rushing to the market every morning to buy vegetables and take care of the family's life.
Because of a change, her husband died unexpectedly, and she became a single mother, taking on the responsibilities of the family by her own will and becoming the pillar of the family.
She not only has to take care of the little tiger alone, but also to deliver takeaways part-time for life, such a difficult situation, so many netizens are distressed to see it.
But I'm more worried about the little tiger growing up in a single-parent family...
Many children who grow up in single-parent households are more aware of their own deficiencies and differences than anyone else.
Even if their material lives may not have changed in the eyes of outsiders, they will show passive and passive weaknesses in the face of emotions and relationships.
When "My Girl" was broadcast, Wang Ou lived alone in Beijing, and the loneliness in the big house touched many people very much.
Especially when the mother appeared, the sense of alienation from Wang Ou made many people start to feel sorry for this girl.
When Wang Ou was 3 years old, her parents divorced.
Because of the fear that both parents would not care about Wang Ou, Wang Ou's grandmother decided that whoever wanted to take Wang Ou could live in a 7-square-meter house.
However, Wang Ou was still "left" behind, and the two parents started their own new lives, and she was fostered in a neighbor's house.
In such an environment, Wang Ou felt that she was an orphan, and she stepped into society early when she was 15 years old.
The reason is simple, in order to make money. She hopes that through "money", she will make her mother proud of her and make her mother closer to her.
The reality, however, is that there has been no ice-breaking between them. Even though Wang Ou kept looking for topics and tried to get close to his mother, his mother responded coldly.
However, Wang Ou's mother later reorganized the family and gave birth to a daughter, and her attitude towards her was completely different.
Wang Ou is now 40 years old and unmarried.
Chunxia once said a sentence in "Strange Life":
"All the women in our family have been divorced, and I can't see the shadow of marital happiness and the happiness of family life in any of the women in our family. I'm really looking forward to getting pleasure in marriage, but I'm probably scared of not being able to sustain it. ”
I think the same is true of Wang Ou.
As children of single-parent families, their hearts are more eager to be cared for and recognized than the children of normal families, and once they are injured, they have to redeem themselves for the rest of their lives.
But do children in single-parent families necessarily have psychological deficits?
People in single-parent families are always helpless because they seem destined to accept the prejudices of most people:
Children of single-parent families will have some psychological problems to a greater or lesser extent;
Without a complete family, such a person is not suitable for love;
His parents are divorced because xxx, will he be in the future.......
The dark side of human nature is that we all know that prejudice is wrong, but we inadvertently impose prejudice on certain groups of people.
However, they are not necessarily all imaginary "problem teenagers".
Li Xueqin, who is called "gifted" by Li Shi, actually grew up in a single-parent family.
In Li Xueqin's third year of junior high school, her parents divorced, and Li Xueqin lived with her mother.
In the early days of her parents' divorce, the atmosphere in the family was gloomy and quiet, and the mother's state was not good.
Sometimes, she was obediently doing her own thing, and her mother would suddenly get angry. As a result, taking care of her mother's emotions became the most important thing in Li Xueqin's life.
She became sensitive and cautious, would please others, and even started to be a little depressed.
Li Xueqin's mother immediately noticed the psychological changes in her daughter, and she began to adjust her mentality, allowing herself and her daughter to break free from pain and bravely face life in a happy and spontaneous way.
The change of her mother made Li Xueqin, who was originally sensitive and inferior, slowly become more autonomous and active, making her feel particularly at ease, down-to-earth and comfortable.
Li Xueqin once said: "Ms. Jia is still the cornerstone of my most important sense of security, she respects me very much, loves me very much, and believes in me very much. “
It is undeniable that the fact of a single-parent family will bring some pain to the child, but it is only by using love to face the critical blows in life
I can face the future with a more frank attitude when I really grow up.
Each other in a single-parent family is the last person in the world to rely on and trust the most. As long as it is healed with love and respect, the children in every kind of family will grow into the best people.
But many parents don't know how to cure them in the best way.
1, do not spoil the child too much
Many parents cannot give their children a sound family because of self-blame, and choose unprincipled accommodation to make up for their children.
Over time, the child slowly becomes a good and bad person, and he knows that his family will unconditionally satisfy him.
When Guo Meimei was first imprisoned, she was 24 years old. Less than two years after her release from prison, Guo Meimei was formally arrested for profit, regardless of the lives of others.
Many people wonder, what about her parents? She did so many wrong things, did her parents leave her alone?
As everyone knows, all this has a lot to do with her parents.
Guo Meimei is a child who grew up in a single-parent family, and it may also be for this reason that Guo Meimei's mother doted on her unconditionally:
"In my heart, she was perfect. In front of her mother, the wrong things she did were forgivable. ”
Such a self-centered child, if they suffer from the tribulations of life in the future, they do not know how to overcome, they will only become losers in life, and even go to the abyss of life and hurt others!
2, do not give your child too much pressure
Some parents of single-parent families, after divorce, see their children as the only focus of life and their own spiritual sustenance.
They keep an eye on their children and give this pressure a good name, called love. They demand that their children be outstanding, that they are happy, and that they have a very different life from their own.
However, under this high hope, the child's psychological burden is getting heavier and heavier, and it will collapse after it cannot bear it.
In "Little Joy", song Qian, a single mother, put all her hopes on her daughter Xu Yingzi after the divorce.
She supervises everything about her daughter, does not let her choose according to her own ideas, and forces the child to give up her dreams.
Under such pressure, Xu Yingzi felt like she was in prison, and finally suffered from depression.
Education expert Makarenko once said: "Everything to the child, sacrificing everything, even sacrificing their own happiness, this is the most terrible gift that parents give to their children." ”
3. Do not vent your emotions on your child
Some parents will vent their negative emotions on their children after divorce.
The child makes mistakes, "Why did I give birth to you in the first place"; the child cries, "all day long knows to cry and cry"; the child has poor grades, "like your father/mother, there is no point of success"...
When Bai Bing appeared in front of the public again, she was divorced and lived with her daughter.
She understands that if she wants her daughter to grow up healthy and free, then she must be strong and strong! She digests all negative emotions and transmits positivity and happiness to her daughter.
Bad emotions will only make an already fragile family more vulnerable. Throwing negative emotions to the child, she can only accept them all, unable to "digest" the darkness she finally faces.
Troubled teenagers are not equated with single-parent families. A family without love is the root cause of hurting children!
Love and good education will enable children to have the ability to live happily and happily!