Recently, I saw such a question on the Internet: "Whether the relationship between two people is good or not, what kind of way can we judge it?" ”
In the comments, there is such a high praise answer: "The relationship between two people is not good, and you can know the answer once you break the connection." When I saw this answer, I thought it was a bit incredible.
The good or bad of a relationship, how can it be tested with a broken connection. Disconnection is definitely not the best way to test the relationship between two people. If you use it improperly, it will make your feelings fall into a greater crisis.
We all know that feelings need two people to manage with their hearts, if there is a problem with feelings, treat them in a way that does not contact, or you want to know how much the other party loves you, and also deal with it in a way that does not contact. Then this relationship is very easy to have problems.
I especially like the sentence: "It is never rhetoric or deliberate temptation that can impress people, but the right details and the most sincere treatment." ”
It is true that in the relationship, many times we want to know the attitude of the other half to ourselves, but using the "no contact" way to test it is itself easy to backfire.
After all, people's ideas are different, and you may think that this is just "cold treatment" or a test, but in the eyes of the other party, this is a kind of "cold violence".
You know, the sublimation of the feelings of two people is achieved through communication, not by blocking contact and communication. Once two people are disconnected, what is produced is not necessarily beauty, it may be the consumption of feelings and the indifference of emotions.
Thinking of such an Internet buzzword, called the abandoned cat effect, the so-called "abandoned cat effect" refers to a cat being discarded by the original owner, when it is picked up again, it will behave particularly well, for fear of being discarded again.
Finally, it is also extended to feelings, which means that after a person is broken up in the relationship, if there is a chance to get back together, they will try their best to behave as the other party likes.
This view is simply nonsense. If you really leave the cat outside because it senses your indifference, when you discard it, its choice is to leave you, rather than become well-behaved after being picked up by you.
The same is true in feelings, if you want to treat feelings in this way, then the result is the same, the other party will also be far away from you.
So don't try to test the other person by abandoning or not contacting. The results obtained in this way are often not what they think they are.
As we all know, even the deepest feelings will lead to the gradual coldness of feelings because of distance and disconnection, and in the end, what can only be obtained is the result of parting ways.
Feelings need to be well maintained, the relationship between two people also needs to be in touch from time to time, to give a very simple example, that is, between friends, when you have not been in touch for a long time, when you meet again, you really do not know where to start, and you will feel very awkward to get along.
As the song goes, some people disperse as they walk, and some things talk about when they look at it.
The relationship between people, whether it is relatives, lovers or friends, need to pay each other and connect with each other. Especially in the relationship, the most feared thing is to break the connection.
Good feelings are never a one-person thing. No matter how good the feelings, they also need to communicate and contact. You must know that people's hearts cannot withstand the test, and it is not an easy task to cover up the heat after the heart is cold.
You think that you can know the answer, you can last forever, in fact, in a way that does not contact, you can only send the other party to someone else's side.
You think the relationship will last forever, but in fact it has deteriorated. Feelings are sometimes so vulnerable. Because in your view, it is just a test, and in the eyes of the other party, it is a kind of distrust.
Especially when something like this happens more than once. In exchange, it is definitely not that the two people are getting closer and closer, but that the hearts of the two people are getting farther and farther away.
Because without contact, that is, it cannot prove the sincerity, nor can it solve the problem, it can only make the feelings of two people vulnerable. In the end, only a sigh of snuffocation remained.
Therefore, "not contacting" once, you can know whether the other party loves you or not, such an idea is wrong, it is terrible. Feelings are mutual, they need to be cherished, your feelings can last, and temptation can not get what you want. What do you think.
Wen | Ming floating life
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