Write on the front
Poetry is a way, without learning to open up, non-learning can not help. Scholars, the stone of his mountain can attack jade; Judges, the opinions of the people may be deafening. The ancients were "like a cut like a discussion, like a grind", this is a gentleman's demeanor, and it is more extended to the spirit of studiousness, which must not be ignored. Today, Yunfan set up this column for the convenience of communication, the place of identification, the platform for progress, when informal, explore the micro and seek the truth, in order to cultivate the far-reaching realm is to hope.
Yun fan reading micro hall
【Yunfan Poetry Collection】
Issue XIII of 2022
Selected Works of the 513th Issue of the Yunfan Poetry Society
Yunfan Poetry Book, No. 13, 2022
Tang Haoyu commented
Exclusive rewards
What a third
The forest is dark and lonely, and the closer it is to dusk, the clearer the fragrance becomes.
At this moment, everyone is scattered, and plum blossoms and I have no quarrel.
【Tang Haoyu commented】The third sister said what I had not said to Mei in the spring. Every sentence is good, not a single idle word. The window of my temple is facing a forest of plum blossoms, and the epidemic closed temple is rarely visited. It is really "plum blossom and I have no dispute". This spring, plum blossom poems were also written six or seven poems, and when the third sister was absolutely ashamed of herself.
Planting trees in the mountains
Han Xinyu
Raise your eyes to the light to stimulate the birth, and when you smell the shuqi and change the birdsong.
Swinging a hoe in the barren place of pine and bamboo, I want to see Cuijing in the coming year.
【Tang Haoyu comment】The first sentence is very good! The pen is sophisticated. The two sentences spliced "Shuqi YellowIng Bird" and "Garden Willow Songbird", the logic is smooth, and the traces are too obvious. The three sentences are much more natural with "three paths are still barren pine chrysanthemums". What is "Cuijing"? I guess I wanted to write Cuiqing, but Qing was in Jiuqing, so I picked a character similar from The Eight Geng. This is not the way, the lone goose out (in) the group grid: if a song uses three rhymes, the first or last can borrow the neighbor rhyme. It is better to change it to emerald green or to change the word than to make it. Overall it was good.
Spring sunny suburban stroll
Jin Si Shui
Stroll along the causeway across the stone bridge, goose yellow willows make soft strips.
A line of egrets soared into the sky, like idle clouds floating freely.
[Tang Haoyu commented] A good sentence is often two sentences to lay the groundwork, a turn, and finally a strange peak protruding, which is particularly eye-catching. This one is one such masterpiece. The first three sentences are just "two yellow orioles singing green willows, a line of egrets on the blue sky" poetry, and finally "like idle clouds floating freely" is what I can't imagine, the pen sharpened, the "soaring" force completely dissipated. Movement becomes static, urgency becomes slowness, clouds and herons are one, and leisure means steep and deep.
On the twenty-second day of the first month, I climbed the tower and looked at the snow to send Hangzhou City He Spicy Zhai
Yang Qiang
The pavilion is very different, and the sky is full of wind.
The seat is a city white, and the window is lost.
The more difficult it is, the more difficult it is, and the song is sad to listen to.
Labor has a few claws, and does not feel the sideburns.
Note: Since the age of twenty-nine, I have seen Huafa, and now I cannot count them.
【Tang Haoyu's comments】Brother Yang's Five Laws breath is getting closer and closer to Lao Du. The jaw is strong, "harvesting" and "losing" the extreme work. The neck joint turns into love below the scene, and it is even more depressed. This is purely the way to write "Travel Night Book", but it is not good: the next time you see the snow poetry, can you not send it to the hot brother, send it to me perfectly.
Spring Hunting
Gong Huizhu (Nanchang, Jiangxi)
Rain plum window snow, spring cold willow shore wind.
Birds on the branches of the guanguan, chirping grass worms.
Tender bamboo is like a guest, and the new moss wants to be covered.
Yuren Qing played music, and the mountain showed a lush green.
【Tang Haoyu's comment】The first league of the five laws is appropriate for fighting. Three whole and one scattered, very sophisticated. The battle is flexible and jumpy, the sentence form is never repeated, and the overlapping words are not weak and procrastinating, and everywhere is appropriate. The tail union is transformed into the right cheng "Yuren feixing music, the goddess kneels to burn incense", directly leading to a breath of clarity into the poem.
Xijiang Moon
Xiao Yuhan
The side of the bridge is full of willows, and the cliff edge is lost. Idle weng is not in love with Xiao Shu, happy to care for the present and chase the ancient.
High in the cold mountain bone phase, usually thin bamboo heart weakness. Chai Men hid Ji Chuntu and came to ask the deceased chicken.
[Tang Haoyu commented] "High in the cold mountain bone phase, usually thin bamboo heart is weak" The standard style is extremely high. Two knots are better. Xiao Shi's words are too good, and every comment always stimulates my desire to create. I have always taken this tune as not elegant enough, and the two rhymes of the knotted leaf are simply inexplicable, and now I appreciate Xiao Shi's words and change the old view. He composed two songs of "Xi jiang yue":
Xi Jiang Yue Luo Mei two songs
One
The remnant calyx who pities the chaos, the fallen red empty caresses the branches. Linglong Moon moved the monastic court. I was also covered in plum shadows.
The Great Master does not return to the Lotus Seat, and the Ming King does not live in Xiangcheng. A night of flowers scattering spring stars. No one is idle.
Two
It is covered with desolate red bricks, piled up into overlapping incense sticks. There are a lot of plums in the sky. I want to take one.
The bones are empty of mountains opposite, and the cold night of spring is silent. It's like an old friend breaking through. True enlightenment and human left.
Zhou Xiangdong commented
The Tongnan Cauliflower Festival is done
He Yangyi
Walk as you please, and look forward to gold.
The flower fields are as big as the sea and do not use a compass.
【Zhou Xiangdong comment】Interesting in the end. If you talk about regrets, it is not associated with the word "gold" above, otherwise it is better!
Look at the map
Zhang Mingxin
Mulberry leaf can not be recognized? The mountains and rivers are clearly blurred with tears.
How many different colors around, once in the old territory of Shenzhou.
【Zhou Xiangdong commented】China's historical territory is huge, and there are many missing in modern times, but this is also a situation that all countries have. In modern times, Qiu Fengjia wrote: "Four million people cry in unison, and last year today cut off Taiwan." As far as this poem is concerned, it is even more shocking to write about the suffering of the people caused by the lack of territory.
Hu Yinzhen, wife of Yu Qihua, a Confucian physician in Surabaya, was martyred for her husband
Wooden
Gold is not worth two true feelings, and the Baishou Hall has a round of the previous month.
Reading the book tonight is heart-wrenching, how can there be Slovak people in the world?
[Zhou Xiangdong comment] write straight, sincere feelings, needless to say. However, "How there are Si people in the world" is compared to "Huang Li", "Leisurely heavens, who is this person." "How!
Part-time work
Tazuho
Only after the Lantern Festival, he went back to his hometown, and the taste of the year was full of bags.
In front of the bed, the moon was dreaming, so I had to pack my heart.
【Zhou Xiangdong comment】The structure is complete and the luck is smooth. The magic is in the knot. However, this method of turning is inferior to nature in many ways.
Spring Mountain
Years of cold boys
Walk slowly, quiet and subtle.
The forest is deep and mossy, and the ground is shady and fertile.
Green paving for thousands of miles, wind and smoke into a circle.
Warm yang prefers color, and tells me to reduce spring clothes.
【Zhou Xiangdong comment】The first three sentences of the whole poem are harmonious and smooth, allowing Tang Feng. However, lust is a common word, and reducing spring clothes is still a wound, and it needs to be used with caution. Fun and easy to be vulgar, believe it!
Spring leisure
Chen Rende
The South China Sea has returned to the south of the sea, and it is lazy to lie behind closed doors.
Old eyes clumsily turn over books less, sensitive words are difficult to write.
The chains were miserable and terrifying, and the friends occasionally asked for peace.
The far suburbs are just fine in spring, and the willows are green and peachy.
[Zhou Xiangdong's comments] are more popular, and mostly involve reality, and they are all ironed, and this Mr. Rende's trick is also. However, what is even more valuable is that Mr. Rende writes his heart by hand and reaches his sincerity, which is why he is also touching!
Lei Haiji review
Spring is coming
Song Caixia
The spring breeze is like a distinguished guest, and when it arrives, it sprouts orchids.
Sit firmly on the top of the head and attract countless flowers.
[Lei Haiji comment] This work has two major highlights, one is the use of the total score method is also called the illustration method layout. The first sentence says that the spring wind is a distinguished guest, and the later example proves that it is expensive, can produce orchid buds, and also attracts countless flowers. The whole passage is very logical. The second is to give life and temperament to the spring wind. The spring breeze has become a distinguished guest, sitting firmly on the top of the head, and the image is fresh and lively. It is the same as "February spring breeze like scissors". In the eyes of the true poet, all things have a disposition.
【Lei Haiji comments】There is Li Bai's rhyme of "looking at each other and not tired, only respecting the pavilion mountain", integrating himself into nature and interacting with all things, which is the biggest highlight of Li Bai's poetry, and the reason why he has the most readers. To this end, I have specially taken Li Baishi as an example to write the article "Writing Human Nature, the Poetry of Material-My Interaction is More Moving".
Swim the apricot blossom slopes
Jiang Jihui (Xuzhou)
The aroma of the half slope is wild and oblique, and the clouders are scrambling to make apricot blossoms.
Who said that the spring light can not be retained, take a photo to take home.
[Lei Haiji's comment] The next two sentences have strength, and the strength arises from the question with the word "no". Wang Changling "but make the Dragon City fly will be, do not teach Humadu Yin Mountain." "Wang Zhizhuo" Qiang Di why should complain about Yang Liu, the spring wind does not pass the jade gate. "Li Bai" The apes on both sides of the strait could not stop crying, and the light boat had already passed through the Ten Thousand Heavy Mountains. "Li Yi" did not know where to blow the reed pipe, and marched to the countryside overnight. "Du Mu" businesswoman did not know the hatred of the country, and sang the backyard flowers across the river. "Wang Han" drunkenly lay on the battlefield Jun Mo smiled, and Gu Lai fought several people back. "Wang Wei" advised jun to make a cup of wine, and there was no reason for the west out of Yangguan. "It's all about this penmanship. Poetry fluctuates in the conflict between denial and affirmation, with momentum and twists and turns. Most of the seven volumes recommended by famous artists in the Ming and Qing dynasties use this brushwork, and I have articles discussing the advantages and application techniques of this brushwork.
Poetry
Zhou Lei
Dim lights down, depressed to compose new poems.
Write all the things in your life and break a lock of eyebrows.
There are few words to sell, and the cost is not full of hunger.
Occasionally out of the surprising sentence, looking for a wife to ask can you know?
[Lei Haiji commented] Writing his poetic life in figurative language tells the dilemma of today's poets. Poetry is difficult to compose, once it is written into poetry, it is worthless, and what is even more sad is that even the wife does not understand and does not hold the scene. Even so, he still insisted on writing poetry, and the depth of his love of poetry was touching.
Watch the TV series "The World"
Lu lengfu
Sour, sweet, bitter and spicy memories are as fresh as fresh, and the light word pieces are written in the world.
Geng Geng was worried about the boss, and called me childhood by voice.
Although Qingyou three or two are sad, a pound of white rice is not entangled.
Warm enough To wake up old dreams, inexplicably thinking of the past.
【Lei Haiji comment】Borrowing the TV series "In the World" to write about his life, it is kind to read. Now the lack of food and clothing is not worry-free compared with the lack of oil and rice in childhood, which means a long time. There are people in the poem, and there are things outside the poem. Good reading resistant.
Lang Xiaomei commented
[Lang Xiaomei's comments] Quaint, now there are not many literati poems. Take it apart: a dictionary. The word "wen", although the word "text", is not remote, such as "迥", "zero", "杳", "Laosheng". Although a word is often used, it is not used often. For example, "the seat collects a city of white, the window loses Wanfeng Qing", "collects" "white", "loses" and "qing" two objections, the words are often strange, the title "Climbing the tower and looking at the snow" is all between these 14 words, although from the perspective of ideograms jump away or suspected of clapping, secretly think that it is one of its ills. Another problem with the poem is that the first sentence is close to the jaw, so the two or three or four sentences of the poem are bound together, and the poem fails to extend and let go. Of course this does not delay its overall quaint style. Wang Guowei's "The Aesthetic Position of Quaintness" says: "The quaint part of art does not have to be genius, but can also be achieved by man." Gou Qi's personality is high and his learning is sincere, although he has no artistic genius, his production is also quaint. "It means that the day after tomorrow can be cultivated to be quaint." I think that ancient is the fun of heaven, ya is the fun of people, the fun of heaven is the fun of the true, and the fun of people is the fun of cultivation. When the two are blended, quaintness can be obtained. If people have no authentic interest, that is, people have no natural interest, then they may have learned to be elegant, but they may not have the naïve "ancient" in the aesthetic category of poetry, and their poems will be boring and difficult to call quaint.
Return to
There are guests near Gaoxie, and the distant mountains have just turned green.
The boat is still far away, and the plague does not stop.
White-haired people are lazy, and the dusk household is still alive.
The thoroughfare returned to silence, and it has long been accustomed to being a man.
【Lang Xiaomei comment】Poetry is natural and dignified, and Shen Ya is the best place that I want to learn. I was particularly attracted by the rich sadness in the poem. This sadness, with the early spring and the epidemic as the background, stretches from the two dimensions of vertical time and horizontal society, stands up with the visit of friends as the clue of the event as the third dimension, takes the image of the unique independent poet as the soul, opens with the poetry of the whole frame and time and space and the temperament that is very suitable for the beauty of traditional Chinese poetry, and is full of poetry, gentle, cold, compassionate, and abundant. If it is poetic beauty, the non-poet is affectionate and cannot be reached, and the cover is absolutely affectionate. The limitation of understanding is not necessarily right, I think the poem has deficiencies: First, "扃" means "closing the door", and it may not be stable with "household". Second, the title is "Fu to", and the poem does not see the words "fu", or "fu" as a personal name? However, if the first link says "there is a guest", then "complex" should only mean "and" as an adverb. Third, the first link "pro" is "to" meaning, the jaw joint saying "the boat and car is still far away" should not arrive, and the tail link "tongqu back to silence" and "return to silence" implies that there has been a lively time, that is, friends have come and gone, and there is no logical problem between the three sentences.
【Double tone・ Hall front joy】 38 festival gifts
Nam Kwang-hoon
Drunken, he asked the woman, "What do you need for a holiday gift?" Tell me about it. The woman put down the pot, haha le, and sat down next to me: "I only hope that you will not purr and not fight, and don't say anything in your dreams!" ”
[Lang Xiaomei commented] Like. Why? A real, misconduct, no pretense, the work is just a simple record of a weng po dialogue, white words and vernacular, out of the language is free, is the original way of life. The words used in the work are in line with the identity characteristics of Weng Po and Po, and there is no violation. The work does not directly say that the two are good, but borrows a dialogue to speak, so the image is not empty, and the specific can be felt. Four customs, in addition to the words and sentences, its love is also customary, full of layman's common feelings, full of vigorous warm fireworks, I love this fireworks very much. The dialogue captured by the author has an unexpected humor, which is surprising. There is often fun in life, and poets with grasping fun are not often there. A person who has a grip on fun must first be an interesting person. However, the rhymes of "talk to me" and "don't say in dreams" in the work are reused, which is uncomfortable to read.
Biography of the Critics: In chronological order
Lei Haiji Introduction
Lei Haiji, pen name Zhuang Xishui, Jiangxi Jinxianren, military poet, poetry critic. He once served as a political commissar of a certain unit of the People's Liberation Army, with the rank of colonel, and his poetry essays were repeatedly selected for the National Chinese Poetry Seminar, the Chinese Military Poetry Seminar, and the Cross-Strait Chinese Poetry Forum. He is the author and publisher of "A Quick Introduction to Poetry", "Quotations from Ancient and Modern Famous Artists on Poetry", and "Discussion on the Creation of Good Poetry -- Selected Poems of Lei Haiji").
Zhou Xiangdong introduction
The owner of Yushan Mountain, real name Zhou Xiangdong, born in 68, also known as Yushan Baoqinke, Zhai name MianLu. The calligrapher is from Mr. Wang Zhenduo of Yushan; the poetry teacher is from Mr. Wang Zhenkan of Gushang; Western painting and theory are studied by Mr. Wang Lin, and he is also good at new poetry, commentary, etc.
Introduction of Lang Xiaomei
Lang Xiaomei, female, a native of Fengcheng, Liaoning, Master of Arts, lecturer of the Department of Chinese Language and Literature of Normal College of Eastern Liaoning University, deputy director of the Criticism Committee of the Chinese Poetry Society, tutor of the advanced training class of the Education and Training Center of the Chinese Poetry Society, and poetry editor of the Yunfan Poetry Friends Association. He is the author of "MingFeng Old Style Poetry Manuscript".
Introduction of Tang Haoyu
Tang Haoyu, small character Begonia, Zhai Number Little Fox Immortal Hall. Shiju Jinling, post-90s, poet, doctor of literature, concurrently serves as the editor of poetry of the Yunfan Poetry Friends Association.
statement
The works are selected and evaluated by critics in the 12th issue of the Yunfan Poetry Society 2022, and the platform is not easy to say a word, and it is presented truthfully. Copyright belongs to the author, appreciation does not return to the author, some pictures transferred from the network, only for appreciation, exchange, sharing and use, the copyright of the picture belongs to the original author, if the copyright owner has objections, please contact the editor to delete.