Laugh and laugh, you cry; laugh and laugh, you get it!
1, this world is so cruel, everyone only remembers the first, can not remember the second. It is often after being rejected by the first that the second can be thought of. ——Zhang Shaogang
2, can't make others shut up, just make yourself happy. - Liu Yan
3, about the defects of people, as far as I am sure there is a disease. But the world seems to remind me of my illness all the time. I suddenly wanted to say to the world: We are all sick, but my illness is more obvious. ------------------
4, good brothers are like this, I really hope you are good, but you better not be better than me. I asked you to stay on the front line, not to let you stay on the front line. ——Jiang Zihao
5, the second place is the biggest loser because everyone knows you failed. --Li Yitong
6, my upstairs child is four years old, practicing for two hours a day, I feel that I can't lose, let my daughter listen to two hours a day, his child is a pianist, and my daughter is a music critic. - Meng Chuan
7, positive energy or old spicy. With the improvement of social status, unconsciously like large fonts, the greater the ability, the larger the font. The more you talk well, the worse you can't do things. --Li Shi
8, life in the world, you only need to know two things. First, there are definitely people in this world who do not need to read and are smart, do not need to work hard and live well, and even do not need money to be happy. Second, that person is definitely not you. --Li Shi
9, all roads lead to Rome, but I don't want to go to Rome. --Li Shi
10, owe the bank 100 yuan that is their own trouble, if you owe the bank six hundred million yuan, it will be the bank's trouble. --Luo Yonghao
11, after debt, the most concerned about their own health is the creditors. If they are hospitalized with a little cold, they will be nervous: "Lao Luo, are you still here, are you still there?" --Luo Yonghao
12, what you do determines what age you are, because as long as you want, age does not matter at all. ------------------
13, our family's family training is: spend less money to do more things, do things without spending money, it is best to spend other people's money to do their own things. ------------------
14 I am particularly reluctant to let you see my efforts, because then you will feel that I am not a genius. ------------------
15, the words of the witness at the time of marriage are actually the least important. Poor, sick, healthy, rich, no one cares at all, "OK, YES I DO" is the same as the user agreement before installing the software, agree, agree. - Pombo
16, the company's toilet, is the only small corner where everyone can freely enjoy happiness. - Pombo
17, at that time, our entire group solved the bug faster than I alone did to create the bug. - Pombo
18, as long as you change careers fast enough, young people will never catch up with you. - Pombo
19, once I walked my dog for half an hour and found that I didn't have a dog with me. - Cam
20, in fact, I can't be a scumbag, and the scumbag is not good, because I think I can't hide it if I cheat, because my performance style is too exaggerated. - Cam
21, in order to rush to brush the sense of existence, I often suddenly stand up in the class and sit down. The teacher asked me what I was doing, and I said I adjusted the angle of my autumn pants. - Cam
22, I changed the QQ nickname to, your name, the signature also changed to your favorite lyrics, I designed the QQ show to look like you, so you noticed me, and also reported that I was a liar impersonating you. - Wang Mian
23, life always has a lot of choices that make you regret, and you can't go back when your tears dry. - Wang Mian
24, the sky has not left me a trace, but I have chased. - Wang Mian
25 The world kisses you with pain, and you do not return the favor with a song. The world kisses you, you slap him. - Wang Mian
26, if there is a woman who is better than you, I think we have to praise her from the bottom of our hearts and let her do more. ——Cheng Lu
27 True equality between men and women is to allow women to be better than men. ——Cheng Lu
28, there are no rules in this world, and if there are enough people, rules can be made. ——Zhang Boyang
29, if the boss dares to let me light a candle to work overtime, then I really can't guarantee that the office is lit only with candles. ——Zhang Boyang
30, when buying clothes, I see very expensive clothes, never dare to try, if it is not suitable, it will be counted, but what if it is appropriate? ——Zhang Boyang
31, you have done bad things, and people say that they are born of the heart; you have done good things, and others cannot praise them. - Birds and birds
32, I would love to be an extrovert because extroverts are like the sun, warm and bright, eye-catching, and introverts are like the moon, as long as there is a sun, no one can see her. - Birds and birds
33, when you are rejected by someone you like, you will definitely be particularly uncomfortable, and when you are rejected by many people, the pain is hedged. --He Guangzhi
34, there are more people who reject me, and you are something. --He Guangzhi
35, if love is a game, I am the NPC (non-player character) in it, sweet love can resist all the bitterness in life, so I now especially want to talk about a relationship during the game, because I plan to do a risk hedge between the love field and the field. --He Guangzhi
36, the more you have no choice, the less regrets you have. --He Guangzhi
37, there is no one who graduates from a prestigious school and you don't know that he graduated from a prestigious school because he will tell you. ——Liang Haiyuan
38, why do parents urge us to get married, because they also like to bump CP, so it is no wonder to see who you are with, they all feel particularly suitable, every day chasing and asking: "When are you going to get married", as if it is really difficult to end up getting married without being in place - Liang Haiyuan
39, I think every day, where is the money that belongs to me in this world, what are you doing, are you thinking of me? ——Liang Haiyuan
40, the idol is the one who accompanies you throughout your youth, but he does not know. ——Wu Xin
41, someone asked me why I always lose when I play games at Happy Base Camp, don't you think that love to lose will win? ——Wu Xin
42, girls must be rich, economic independence is very important, even if one day there is nothing, you still have money. ——Wu Xin
43, now many girls will have body anxiety, bad figure is immoral, many people will say, fat is depraved. ——— Yan Yi Yan Yue
44, everyone will ask girls to wear a formal makeup, but no one will ask boys to practice eight formal abs. ——Yan Yiyan Yue
45 Renunciation is a philosophy that allows you to sit down and reflect on your materialistic desires, and then get up and buy a certain good product. Because a certain indian good thing is particularly broken, simple and designed, expensive, expensive, expensive, you simply can't afford to buy, from the root of the break. ——Yan Yiyan Yue
46, we young people probably think that if we read the article quickly enough, it can be about equal to not reading it. It's like Wu Xin has filmed so many TV series in such a short period of time, and she probably thinks that if she shoots fast enough, everyone won't find out that she is shooting.
47, doing housework, are all women's affairs, even the voice of the sweeping robot is all female voices. As soon as the boot is: boot the machine to start cleaning. It feels like if it's set to a male voice, he'll just say: OK, I'll sweep it in a moment! Then stuck motionless on the couch. ——Yan Yiyan Yue
48, if I make a few days of better self, I have to do a few days of worse self to slow down, better self is too tired. ——ROCK
49, some people in order to urge themselves to lose weight, on WeChat wrote "do not lose ten pounds, do not change the avatar", really no strength at all. It is better to change it to "don't lose ten pounds and don't change the panties", such as Wang Jianguo, the panties have been almost broken by him. ——ROCK
50, I found that many people who are not depressed are pretending to be depressed, and people who are really depressed are pretending to be okay. ——ROCK
Social software really only makes us more lonely because it makes you more and more impatient. ——ROCK
51, excellent people are good everywhere, the only drawback is to make you feel like a garbage. ——ROCK
52, life is like this, when you fly high, you may forget that you are going to fall. ——ROCK
53, you see your father as a brother, and your relationship with your mother will become very good. Because people say that women who are good brothers are pleasing to the eye no matter how they look. ——Zhao Xiaohui
54, chasing stars is exactly the same as long-distance love, face to face can not see a few times, the money is not spent at all. ——Zhao Xiaohui
55, in my mother's eyes, the male star of the fire, as long as there is no compilation, it is not worthy of my "workshop flower". ——Zhao Xiaohui
56, only those who know nothing about marriage can go forward. ——Zhao Xiaohui
57, I hope to have a tall and handsome workshop director, driving a wind-pulling convertible forklift, telling the whole workshop: "My forklift can only sit xiaohui." --Zhao Xiaohui
58, we have a girl in the workshop. As the saying goes: "If a person lacks something, he likes to show off something." "Our workshop likes to show off me. ——Zhao Xiaohui
59, I rented a 15 square meter house, 15 square meters what concept, no concept, such a large house can not fit the concept!
60, men will get tired of your beauty, but you will not get tired of men's money. - Si Wen
61, the sense of existence is not brushed out, it is earned. - Si Wen
62, to create a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is not difficult at all, that is, to spend money. - Si Wen
63, a high-quality man, he must be a "subway house", "school district room"; an old and rich man, what kind of house? That, of course, is a "quasi-demolition house". - Si Wen
64, only one man can endure scraping bone to heal poison, but for women, as long as they can become beautiful, scraping bone cure poison is nothing, I can scrape three courses of treatment. - Si Wen
65, there are many parents for the sake of their children's learning, mutual agreement on the child's college entrance examination before divorce, it sounds as if divorce is a ceremony to celebrate the college entrance examination. "The child is admitted to Tsinghua, divorce it", double happiness at the door. - Si Wen
66, those people want to win, scrambling to choose me, making me particularly stressed, I have never been competed by so many men in my life. ——Li Xueqin
67, "I really don't know what to say, so I went to ask my mother, and I said, 'Mom, do you have any regrets in this life?'" My mother panicked, 'Is it the results of my physical examination that came out?' You tell the truth, I can hold on. --Li Xueqin
68, my family is Tieling's well, since then I lost love, my mother said back to Tieling, work yellow, back to Tieling bar, Weibo dropped powder, back to Tieling bar, Einstein how to think is not important at all, in my mother's eyes, the end of the universe is Tieling. ——Li Xueqin
69, I want to say to those who don't like me, I don't like you either. ——Li Xueqin
70, this kind of talk is not as good as my grandmother's life motto - people eat ear will become dumb. You don't look at people who have no evidence, but do you have the urge to try it? ——Li Xueqin
71, my brother asked me why I didn't find a boyfriend? Then why don't you go to Tsinghua? Don't like it? --Yang Kasa
72, the next time you see someone else proposing, don't shout what to marry him, you will directly shout to endure, endure, for the sake of the child. --Yang Kasa
73, why are some female artists so uncultured? Wear makeup hard every day, where there is time to learn culture. --Yang Kasa
74, why do you look so ordinary, but yet so confident. --Yang Kasa
75 If you keep in touch with someone with an ambition, they will keep their distance from you. --Yang Kasa
76, my looks are just the kind of talent that will not be ignored by others. --Yang Kasa
77, you look so ordinary, you will need a craft in the future. --Yang Kasa
78, in a marriage proposal, only passers-by are really happy. --Yang Kasa
79, snoring, is the terminator of all romance. The principle of girls snoring is the same as the principle of rooster snoring, which can make a man wake up instantly. --Yang Kasa
80, middle-aged people face the haunted house just like their attitude towards life, can not run, can not run away. - Hulan
81, you have no work in your hands, but you must appear to have all the work in your hands. Later, I learned that this is called "no physical performance" in the performance. - Hulan
82, in this world, as long as you are normal, you are already better than 90% of people. - Hulan
83, countless old ladies have just stepped out of the vegetable market to buy leeks, and the back feet will step into the financial market as leeks. - Hulan
84, Father's Day, I could have quietly sent a WeChat message to my dad saying: Happy Father's Day. Why should I send a friend "circle" with great fanfare? It's because I still have a lot of social dads. - Hulan
85, when I was in the United States, the following team took a week to complete the work, after returning to China, the team said that it would take three days to finish, I thought I heard it wrong: say three days?! The other side thought I was too slow, said okay, ok, overtime, two days can also be. - Hulan
86, listening to so many truths can not live this life, it is better to live a life with a smile. - Hulan
87, my mother bought a wealth management product for me to help her see, I calculated the annualization rate of 110%. I said Buffett can earn 20% a year in a busy year, how can you make 110%? She said Buffett could only make 20 percent because he couldn't buy such a good wealth management product. Children do not ask their parents to make much contribution to the family, as long as they do not buy financial products and are deceived. - Hulan
88, my dad wrote me a 2000 word manuscript, I was particularly moved! I complained so much about my parents in the show, and he also wrote me a manuscript, is this the power of family affection? As a result, when I looked at this manuscript, my father complained about my grandfather! My dad gave me this material, and the other stand-up comedians were jealous: talk shows are even more desperate than in the end! - Hulan
89, do less and pretend to be particularly busy, that is more tiring than real work. - Hulan
90, stability doesn't mean anything to me, I want to be stronger. I'm not blood pressure, why should I be so stable? - Hulan
91, everyone sees me, but they don't know who I am, this is my person. ——Wang Jianguo
92, some things do not exist without facing. ——Wang Jianguo
93, love is only a probability, not loving is a matter of course. ——Wang Jianguo
94, I have always been the one who guarded the tomb, and this world is the grave I see. ——Wang Jianguo
95, watching movies alone, eating fast food, going to cafes, eating hot pot, doing surgery, this is not called loneliness, let you live well alone. ——Wang Jianguo
96, some say, he made unimaginable efforts. Is it easy to work hard or to imagine? It's not that you underestimated my efforts, it's that you underestimated my imagination. ——Wang Jianguo
97, good looking or not, ninety percent lies in the face, autumn pants no matter how you wear, it does not block the face. ——Wang Jianguo
98, if parenthood is a formal job, who wants to do this broken job? ——Wang Jianguo
99, man must deceive himself in order to survive. ——Wang Jianguo
100, all teenagers will mature, but if you completely forget that teenager, this is called regret. ——Wang Jianguo