Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
Love is a matter of two people, but marriage is a matter of two families.
When two people have established a relationship and want to enter into marriage and work together for a lifetime, then meeting the parents must be unavoidable.
Especially when meeting the man's parents, for many girls, it is inevitable that they will be nervous and apprehensive. After all, when you meet for the first time, the impression is very important, and it directly affects the relationship between the two people.
Therefore, understanding the top ten taboos of meeting the man's parents can help you make fewer mistakes and step on fewer pitfalls.
One taboo: raunchy
We all know that first impressions often determine what the man's family thinks of you.
Yang Lan once said: "No one has the obligation to discover your excellent inner self through the sloppy appearance that even you don't care about." ”
So, be sure to dress up carefully when meeting your parents, but remember not to be too flashy.
Dressing appropriately and being clean and tidy is the most basic requirement. This is not only respect for himself, but also respect for the man's parents.
Two taboos: rude speech and behavior
A person's speech and demeanor can best reflect her family education and cultivation.
Confucius once said, "If you don't learn etiquette, you can't stand." ”
When we meet with parents, we must pay attention to our words and deeds, and do not be too casual.
For example, keep a gentle attitude, avoid vulgar language, don't make loud noises, and don't pick and choose at the dinner table.
Three taboos: excessive show of affection
Even if you have a good relationship with your boyfriend, showing affection excessively in front of your parents will make the other party feel uncomfortable.
After all, the older generation has a different concept from us young people.
Therefore, when meeting parents, you should moderate yourself and not be too tired with your boyfriend, and pay more attention to the communication and interaction between the other party's parents.
Four taboos: pointing fingers at the man's parents
When you first meet, you don't know much about the man's parents.
Therefore, don't easily judge their words and deeds, their clothing, or the decoration of their homes, etc.
Everyone has their own preferences, and pointing fingers at you as soon as you walk in the door will only make the other parent think that you are ignorant.
Five taboos: talking about marriage too early
Although you and your boyfriend have already identified each other, talking about marriage too early when you meet your parents for the first time can be stressful.
After all, marriage is a big event for two families, and it takes time to communicate slowly. Moreover, if you seem to be too anxious about getting married, it may also make the other parent's mind come to mind.
Therefore, when meeting parents, you can talk more about life, work, etc., which are more relaxed topics.
Six taboos: conceal your true situation
Honesty is the basic quality of a person, and it is also the key to gaining the approval of the man's parents.
Therefore, when meeting the man's parents, you must not hide your true situation, whether it is family, work, education, etc., you must be honest and do not hide it.
You may be worried, feel that you are afraid of general work, afraid that the man's parents will not look down on you, so you want to hide it.
But paper can't contain fire after all, and lies will be punctured one day. Lying and then being exposed will only make the man's parents have a worse impression of you.
Rather than that, it's better to be honest from the start.
Seven taboos: over-reliance on men
When meeting parents, we should show the excellent side of being reasonable, gentle and sensible.
Don't rely too much on the man, or command him to do this and that for you, especially in front of the man's parents.
This will leave a very bad impression on the man's parents, either they will think that you are not assertive, or they will think that you are "bullying" their son, and they will suffer in the future.
Eight taboos: Judge the man's family
During the meeting with the parents, you may meet other members of the man's family.
At this time, don't think that it doesn't matter if they are not the man's parents, and also maintain the most basic politeness and respect. Don't judge them for what they say or do.
Anyway, it's the man's own family. You don't comment much, it will only provoke their resentment with you.
Nine taboos: Bring too many gifts or no gifts
When meeting the man's parents, you must not go empty-handed, and bringing a gift is the most basic etiquette.
However, gifts should also be exquisite. If you bring too much, it may make the man's parents feel too publicized or wasteful, and even think that you will not live.
If you don't bring a gift, or if you buy a bag of fruit on the street, you will make the other parent think that you don't respect them enough.
So, when choosing a gift, be both decent and appropriate, don't be overly extravagant, but don't be too stingy either.
Ten taboos: lack of self-confidence, submissive
When meeting the man's parents, no matter how nervous you are, try to maintain a generous and decent appearance.
Don't be submissive, have no assertiveness at all, people ask you a question, you can't say it for a long time, this will only make the other party look down on you.
In summary, when meeting the man's parents, we should pay attention to our words and deeds, dress and attitude, etc., which can often leave a very good impression on the other party, so that the next relationship will be easier.
As the ancients said, "All things are foreseen, and those who are not prepared are wasted." ”
I hope that every girl can prepare in advance, meet the man's parents in the best state, and win their love and respect.