Text / Wake up
Editor / Little Love Letter
"How much does it cost to grow up with a boy and become a man?"
The answer from Tengger's ex-wife Haskova was that she had lost her favorite career, her best seven years of youth, and her desire for marriage and family.
Even almost lost himself.
Speaking of Haskova, I think many people feel that they don't know, and most of them will say that they know Szczygova.
In fact, Hasgaowa is also a famous actor in Inner Mongolia, but chose to marry Tengger at the beginning stage of her career, and then quit the show business circle to become a full-time wife.
It can be said that without the silent support of Haskova, there would be no later singer Tengger.
However, all the accommodation and payment were eventually exchanged for Tengger's lack of cherishing, and Tengger became very different from before after becoming famous.
And these changes also invisibly hurt Haskova, and eventually the two went to divorce.
In the past seven years, there have been sweet, but also countless annoyances and scars, so what happened between the two people has to go to the point of divorce?
01
In 1995, Haskova and Tengger walked into the Civil Affairs Bureau together, and unlike seven years ago, this time they came to do a divorce.
How hopeful they were when they came seven years ago, how sad they are now.
As a haskova, of course, she also wants to work with her beloved man for the rest of her life to see the sunrise and sunset of the Inner Mongolian grassland.
But helplessly, all his patience and love were exhausted in this seven-year marriage.
The continuation of a marriage in name only a waste of each other's time, and perhaps divorce is the best ending for each other.
But once they met, knew, and fell in love, they were actually as happy and romantic as a novel.
In 1987, Haskova met Tengger for the first time, when Haskova was already a well-known actress.
When he was a sophomore at the Shanghai Theater Academy, he starred in "Love on the Hump" with Sichenkova, and after graduation, he successively starred in "The Lion in the Desert", "The Assassin at the Wedding", "Mother" and other film and television works.
At this time, Haskova's career was smooth sailing, and it was even predicted that she would become the second Szczekova.
Compared with Haskova, Tengger was still an unknown singer at that time, and his family was not superior, and he was running around looking for a way out.
However, love is so delicate, although the two are far apart, but Haskova still fell in love with Tengger regardless of it.
Perhaps indulging in the gentleness of Tengger's strong man, or because she was in a period of hot love, Haskova quickly decided to marry Tengger.
So in 1988, Haskova and Tengger, who had been in love for less than a year, got a license and had a low-key wedding.
After marriage, Haskova was soon faced with whether to continue to work hard in her career or return to housewife, and she also knew very well that if she chose to be the woman behind Tengger, it would mean giving up her career.
But if she chooses to continue acting, her and Tengger's small family will inevitably have conflicts due to the gathering of less and more.
Haskova, who has thought about it repeatedly, still decided to support Tengger first, quit the show business and return to her family.
In the first two years of being a housewife, Haskova was happy, busy washing and cooking every day, making a delicious meal for Tengger to come back to eat, and her life was as plain as water but happy and full.
Although there was no money in life at that time, they shared their daily routines at dinner, said goodbye reluctantly in the early morning, and were busy in their respective fields, all just so that their lives could get better and better.
Fortunately, the emperor did not pay off, in 1990 Tengger finally caught fire, the career finally ushered in the peak, for a time the name Tengger resounded throughout the north and south of the river.
Tengger finally ushered in the highlight moment of his life after many years of silence, and thus tasted the pleasure of fame and fortune.
For Haskova, it can also be regarded as a bitter end, pressing down on Tengger, a potential stock.
At the beginning, Tengger did not change much when he burst into flames, but he still cared more about Haskova's feelings, and sometimes considered the days at home after work outside haskova.
Once when he went out to Taiwan to perform on stage, Tengger also took Haskova with him, and the two sang Mongolian love songs on the same stage.
From the point of view of Tengger taking her to the show with her, the relationship between the two at that time should not be bad, but why did the marriage between the two eventually break down?
02
When did things start to change, probably from the time tenger became famous.
It is true that Tengger's career is getting better and better, he has met more and more celebrities, and accumulated more and more money, but at that time Tengger has become more and more strange to Haskova.
After having money, Tengger used the money he earned to open the Tengjia Restaurant, but the purpose was not just to make money, but to drink and eat meat with several so-called good friends.
At that time, every time Tengger's restaurant had friends come to eat and drink, Tengger would arrogantly invite guests to pay the bill, and over time the invitation seemed to become a matter of course.
Haskova as the hostess will feel more or less uncomfortable, but Tengger is still bent on inviting guests to dinner, regardless of his business has been going downhill, almost no profit to make money.
In addition, after opening a restaurant, Tengger gradually became obsessed with drinking.
From a small cup at the beginning to an unlimited cup later, exaggerated to the point of even forming a beer association with friends, the Beer Association.
And he is the president of the association, and several other people are secretaries-generals, directors or whatever, and each activity is to drink and brag.
Tengger either took a few friends home to drink, and when he drank until midnight, he went back to his house to sleep, Tengger was unconscious, and finally had to clean up alone until the middle of the night to take care of Tengger to rest.
But Haskova's hard work and forbearance did not get the gratitude of her husband Tengger, but made Tengger feel in his heart that it was natural for men to go out to work and socialize, and women to clean up and do housework at home.
So the next day, I would repeat the previous day's drinking party and get drunk with my friends.
Once several of them were drinking, and suddenly a person from the association came out to buy vegetables and joined them in the middle, and not long after the wife who was waiting for the dishes to cook at home kicked open the door and told him to go home, not long after this incident, he divorced.
This kind of thing is not uncommon in their association, and three out of four people in the association are divorced.
Of course, this also made Tengger aware of the impact of drinking on marriage, but only realized, he did not say anything, or as always, drinking and not going home.
Haskova may have also persuaded Tengger to drink and hurt her body, drink pleasantly, and drink heavily, but the final result was always unhappy, and the more she persuaded Tengger, the more she was tired of her.
Obviously, he is a person with a husband and a family, but he lives like a "widow".
On such a day, Haskova finally couldn't stand it, and finally chose to end the 7-year marriage, cut off the past, and start over.
Haskova's life after the divorce has a lot more free time, she no longer has to worry about waiting for her husband to come home, no longer have to open her eyes to buy vegetables and cook, do not have to be drunk and bumped in the middle of the night and can't sleep...
She can do whatever she wants.
She even began to return to the crew to shoot scenes, and successively filmed works such as "Lao Dan is a Tree" and "Xian Xinghai".
In addition to having her own job, she spends her free time enjoying a hard-won life, traveling, tasting food, and quietly reading a good book.
After several years of hard work, Haskova gradually had her own savings.
When she herself started her life again, of course, from time to time someone would mention her marriage experience with Tengger and ask her whether she regretted it, and she would answer frankly:
"Don't regret it, it's all fate to experience, just go through it."
As Yang Mi said:
"What I go through is what I should have been, nothing good or bad, everything is the best arrangement."
Experience can go forward, when Haskova is getting better and better, and Tengger is not living a day.
After the divorce, his restaurant was also tossed and closed, and after Tengger's mother learned about it, Tengger's divorce asked him bitterly:
"You've lived so many years, what are you living?"
Perhaps even Tengger's mother was lamenting that Tengger did not know how to cherish such a gentle and kind and good woman as Haskova, but it was too late at that time.
Later, the heavens were still favoring Tengger, and in 2000 Tengger's "Heaven" caught fire, which undoubtedly pulled Tengger, who had nothing at the time, and let him start his career again.
In 2003, Tengger met Hongel Jura, who was eighteen years younger than himself, and fell in love at first sight.
The family was re-established and had a lovely son.
After passing forty years, Tengger became more mature and stable after a failed marriage, and once drank until he was drunk and rested to a later drink.
I once felt that women took housework for granted to later feel that men should take more responsibility in marriage, from the previous profligacy to the later thrifty family.
And all these are the truths that Haskova taught him with seven years of youth, but the beneficiary is not her.
When someone asked about that past, Tengger just smiled lightly and said:
"It really wasn't until I lost that I understood how to cherish."
Tengger also felt indebted to Haskova who spent the most asshole years with him, but to this day, it is impossible to make up for it, and he only wants to be okay with each other.
03
And now Haskova has not heard of her remarriage, perhaps because the marriage with Tengger hurt her deeply, or maybe she did not want to expose her feelings to the public's vision anymore.
But before there was a rumor that Haskova's friends saw that she had a car and a house and advised her to find someone to live, she said:
The loss in the previous marriage made Haskova's heart full of haze, and also made her understand that love and marriage should not be the whole of a woman, and she should be the protagonist of life.
As for Tengger's relationship with her, it can only be said that the time of encounter is not right.
If Haskova had met Tengger, the sails he had already experienced were mature enough, and surely Haskova would have been able to live happily with Tengger.
But unfortunately, if not, the two eventually married too shallow, or separated.
Haskova's life experience may also warn us that it is not fair for the predecessors to plant trees and the coolness of the people, the cost of growing up with a boy is too high, and giving up their careers after marriage sometimes does not exchange for the happiness of the family and the sense of security you want.
As the writer Liu Tong wrote in the book "Whose Youth Is Not Confused":
Women's sense of security from others is always unreliable and secure, if you have your own job, have independent economic conditions, have an independent personality, not dependent on others is your greatest sense of security.
Nowadays, the more young and wonderful haskova's life continues.
If given another chance to choose, she would probably never give up everything she had for a man, stay at home as a housewife, a full-time wife, and wish that one day she would also meet her true destiny.
If not, being beautiful alone, a wonderful person is also another way of life.