A tribute to every working mom
In China, more than 10 million women become mothers of newborns each year. More than half of the first- and second-tier cities are working mothers.
They often "have several jobs in one person", not only to spend a lot of time with their children's growth, but also to play a variety of roles in work and family. With so many identities in one, sacrificing "self" has become a common choice for many working mothers.
"After having children, there is basically no time to pay attention to yourself", "My girlhood self is already quite strange". Becoming a mother or becoming "oneself" has become a dilemma in front of reality.
Some people say that "working mothers are the lowest social animals", compared with other professionals, there are work, children, families, wife identity, parental support, mother-in-law relationship and so on N mountains.
Be both a strong woman in your career and a superman of your children. I work an 8-hour day shift during the day and go back to work a "night shift" at night, and I often face interrogation: Do you want to work or do you want a family?
Because of the weakness, mothers have a string in their brains at any time, afraid of unemployment, afraid of children's accidents.
What kind of existence do working mothers really exist? When they visited and what experiences they had after becoming mothers, they smiled slightly: "The gyro-like experience is probably from a girl who can't do anything to a superman who can do anything!"
Amelie
Business Manager Daughter three years old
Before my mother, I was a very enjoyable person, with a salary of almost twenty thousand, ordering afternoon tea, shopping with good sisters, traveling on vacations, and being free.
Whenever I see moms who have lost themselves for their children, I secretly swear that I will never do this.
After becoming a mother, I found that I was also one of the ordinary, and I was willing to dedicate everything to such a cute little life.
Friends say that I have changed, before I used to talk about me, how I am, now open my mouth is how she is.
I don't know when it started, the focus of my life became a child, the circle of friends was her, the center of the conversation was her, and her smile touched my heart.
In the past, my husband and I were very comfortable spending money, because we had never thought of buying a house in Shenzhen and planned to pay a down payment on a house in my hometown.
Until I had children, I began to work harder and harder, and the purpose of life changed from being happy today to making more money and spending less money in the future.
From Buddhism to desperate, it turned out that only one child was needed, and when I saw her, I wanted to give her the best thing in the world.
Sarah
Post-90s working mothers Children are 3 years old
The new job is nine to six, 5.5 days a week, and sometimes temporary overtime at night. In addition, when I go home, I have to deal with some work that is too late to finish, and I have to take the child at the same time, and sometimes the child is really bald, and I want to die in situ...
Look at the powerful mothers around you: not only successful in their careers, but also in cooking, baking... Anything will, weekends can also accompany children to travel, parent-child activities, eighteen martial arts can be done... In such a comparison, I feel that I am very incompetent, and the psychological gap is even greater.
So I gradually felt that my temper was getting worse and worse, and after marriage, I broke out into an argument for the first time, followed by a decline in sleep quality at night, accompanied by various psychological and physical problems, which made me ask myself: Is this life really what I want?
Having been stuck in this matter and having doubts about my decision, I decided to consult with some professionals.
MY
CEO Mother of two children
From an ordinary small clerk to a CBO of a company, "I hope that through my efforts, I will convey some positive values to the whole society." ”
The turning point occurred the year she decided to have her second child. As an elderly mother, she has been on the job until the last moment.
Her company was hosting a party of more than 2,000 people, and Mia, who was in a key position, had always been a powerful leader in the minds of leaders. At 31 weeks pregnant, her stomach was already very large, but with the high demands she had always had for herself, Mia still relied on her tenacious willpower to survive until the successful end of the event.
After returning home to rest for a few days, she was born prematurely because of it. Twins, two babies, born less than 3 kg combined...
"It touched me so much that I felt like I was suddenly woken up." She paused, "I can take so much risk for myself and my children for the sake of work." ”
Since then, she has often wondered if there are some more important things in her life.
Who knows, what awaits her after giving birth is a more complete busyness. Accompanying your child's growth is no easier than organizing an event for a thousand people. Every day, she had to switch back and forth between the identities of "good mother", "good wife", and "good boss", like a machine running at high speed all the time, without a time to press the pause button.
If you think that these are only difficult for ordinary people,
Then the following story proves:
Female stars can't escape the choice of career and family
Once, Yao Chen was a first-line traffic star. To have works, there must be traffic.
But in the public perception, after 2014's "Divorce Lawyer", she seems to have no works to come up with. Because after a series of remarks were wildly spooked by the public, it has not been updated for a long time, yao chen is so unpopular.
Now, she has one more role, the mother, telling the story of her "pasty" 5 years. The title of her speech was "The Embarrassment and Confusion of Middle-Aged Actresses".
It turned out that at the time when the resources were the best and her morale was high, she and her agent were pregnant at the same time. As a result, the whole company had to follow them on maternity leave. When she brought her son to the age of 3 and she couldn't wait to get ready for a big job, she found out she was pregnant again.
The hardest part is the dilemma of the workplace. Yao Chen has to face that there is no drama to act in" Obviously, we have come to the age group where we are mature enough and the performance state is the best, but in the market we are in, there are very few scenes for actresses of this age group, which is really embarrassing." ”
For us ordinary women, there is no company, position, opportunity, willing to stop and wait for you to have a child, so so so many people are more and more afraid to have children. Moreover, it is not how good your foundation is, how hard you work, you can be willful.
This is the harsh reality that procreation has become a high-risk option for women.
In the "Starry Sky Speech", Yao Chen raised an interesting question: "Many people ask me how to balance my career and family, but why doesn't anyone ask me the same question?" ”
If you choose to be a stay-at-home mother, all the efforts are taken for granted, and the occasional sigh and a complaint are likely to be seen as pretentious. If you are busy with your profession, you will be accused of not being satisfied with your family and your children, and some people even say that "all working mothers owe their children a sorry." Because of gender, the lives of many women are dominated.
It's more important to be happy
Helen Tandi, senior vice president of global government affairs, who was appointed by President George W. Bush as the first female director of the U.S. Department of Justice's Drug Enforcement Bureau, said: Every working woman carries a "guilt bag" (guilt bag) when she comes to work, thinks about her children at work and feels guilty, and when she comes home from work, she looks at her children and thinks about the work of the unit and feels remorse again, and feels that she is not doing well enough.
Helen herself struggled with this for a long time, until she once asked her two children: Should her mother quit her job and go home to be a full-time mother?
Her children replied, "Mommy, do whatever make you happy!" lf you're not happy, our lives will be miserable! (Mom, you do whatever you want, and if you're not happy, our days will be hard)"
For children, an unhappy stay-at-home mom is more terrifying than a homeless but happy working mom – innocent children are always so to the point.
Whether it's a struggling working mom or a stay-at-home mom who is at ease with home, as long as this is the life you want, you can be honest. Do what makes you happy without having to carry any baggage on yourself.
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