Leaving the campus and entering the community, in addition to adapting to different environments, different requirements.
Re-establishing relationships at work is also a challenge for most people.
The sense of boundaries between people, everyone is different.
I want to quickly integrate into the new group, so that colleagues can have a good impression of themselves and work more smoothly. Be careful everywhere in the world.
If one day, colleagues and leaders who work together launch a pursuit of you at the same time, what a situation that is difficult to directly refuse.
The TV series "Uncle's Love" is a plot based on such a situation.
A new love novice, Ada, an employee of the sales department, accidentally slipped on the bus one day and fell into the arms of his boss, KK.
An electric shock that had not been experienced in a long time spread through the body of his boss, KK.
After going home and thinking about it, I decided to rethink my life last time, not only taking special care of Ada at work, but also starting to pursue Ada.
This sudden feeling makes Ah Tian overwhelmed, refusing and afraid of offending the leader, if he accepts, he is equivalent to being "unspoken rules" by the same-sex leader for the sake of his career.
At the moment of the dilemma, the company has hired a new junior Amu.
Not only is the appearance Sven and the cooking skilled, but also the room will be cleaned.
Everything was fine, but it didn't take long to confess to Ah Tian.
Although it is about the feelings between men and men, the whole plot setting is very funny, and there are classic scenes of bosses and colleagues competing for the male lead.
The plot of this TV series may be a bit absurd, but it also has some practical significance.
It mainly reflects that the male protagonist has made his work a lot more convenient when he is faced with the love of his boss.
During the period when his colleagues pursued him, he also took good care of all aspects of his life.
If you refuse your boss, the hard-won job may be a chicken and egg fight, and the opposite of love is hate. This kind of thing happens all around us.
One of my classmates, who had just graduated from a real estate company, was young and young and was favored by the leadership.
Just after work, the leader will assign a lot of heavy tasks to others, leaving her only the most idle and well-paid work.
When the leader of the post drove to the company waiting for her and sent her home, he hinted that he would also go up and sit down.
After one or two pushbacks, she couldn't help but reject the married uncle.
Since then, she has been snubbed by all the personnel in the company, and she can no longer get the project that can make money, and she is swept out by the company after failing to complete the performance.
If you just reject your colleagues, you may not have such a bad result.
At most, they were retaliated against behind their backs and gossiped in front of other colleagues.
When you are in contact at work, you vaguely add some difficulties.
01
How to make a decision that will be in your best interest?
1. Analyze difficulties in advance
I have a friend who says, "Don't worry, don't panic, don't panic." ”
This seemingly simple sentence is actually very helpful for peace of mind.
If we encounter a difficult problem and it is only the emotions that dominate us, then we will continue to be pessimistic about "how is it so bad".
This does not help us solve problems, but will continue to reduce self-confidence.
When encountering difficult things, calm emotions and calm analysis are the first things.
The urgency to get rid of the pain, without proper analysis and treatment of the problem, may make things that could have been solved worse.
Just like Zhang Yuqi and Wang Xiaofei will slap each other when they quarrel.
The quarrel itself is already hurting each other, because the anger cannot be controlled and the use of violence with the hand adds more push for the deterioration of the relationship.
If you look at the contradictions between the two sides peacefully, it is like the performance of Big S in "Happiness Trio".
No matter who is wrong when the problem occurs, describe the problem with a peaceful attitude, and the two sides discuss and deal with it, rather than allowing emotions to control themselves and blindly vent.
When the problem of pain comes, it is not a rush to get rid of the pain or to fight with it.
Be an observer of the problem, analyze the problem well and how you can deal with it, in order to better come up with a solution
2. Learn to interpret pain positively
Recently, I watched a follow-up documentary about TVB supporting actors, "It's Easy to Do".
The film is about how these actors, who are good at acting, survive in old age and illness.
Without being actors, they can only work as security guards, drivers, and delivery workers in the new profession.
Because he had no money to treat his illness, Gu Minghua was forced to cut off his guts.
However, he also stood up and said to the camera: "Hard work, but hard work does not mean that you can't persevere." ”
"Deer Ding" that participated with big stars in the past was popular all over the country.
Relatives and friends are happy for him, but now, life is difficult, it takes money to treat diseases, and it takes money to live.
And asking an elderly person with no special skills to make money is the hardest thing to do.
These people take off the cloak of actors and become ordinary people in the corners of society who struggle hard for life.
Perhaps in the eyes of the world, they are now living a very hard life, but they are still well-informed and calm.
No matter how many auras there were before, now, it is very happy to be self-reliant.
If things don't go as expected, people at a low point may have a sense of powerlessness that says, "I'm the unluckiest person in the world."
If people are constantly immersed in this depressed mood, they will get sick, and reality cannot be changed.
But in reality, everyone experiences pain, and imperfection.
Recognize that pain and imperfection are not just happening to themselves, but something that everyone must experience in order to adjust their emotions faster.
Everyone will experience difficult moments in life and face life with a positive attitude.
It helps to better adapt to various situations in life and calmly look down on setbacks, which is also a strong psychological quality.
3. Learn to care for yourself properly
To solve painful dilemmas and make difficult choices, you must have the ability to care for yourself.
Whether giving in to desire will make you happier, or being true to your heart will make you happier.
Self-care is not the same as self-evaluation.
Making a tough choice and simply equating it with classifying yourself as a good person or an evil person.
The basis of self-care is that each one deserves to be cared for and understood.
Making a decision to reject others will make others sad, and although this behavior hurts another person, it does not mean that you are deliberately being an evil person.
Rather, after self-analysis, rejection is a more ideal way to deal with it, then don't doubt yourself and stick to this path.
Self-care enhances our ability to repair our emotions.
In the scientists' study, most of the conclusions were that people with strong self-care abilities had lower levels of depression and anxiety.
Anxiety and depression cannot help solve any difficulties, they only interfere with our inner awareness.
People with strong self-care ability can deal with this negative emotion very well, and get rid of negative feelings faster and return to reality.
Luo Yonghao, who owes six hundred million yuan in debt, appeared on TV again, and he personally ridiculed his experience of failing to start a business.
Ordinary people who owe six words in debt may not know how to pay off this debt for the rest of their lives.
And Luo Yonghao sat calmly under the camera and said to his creditor word by word, please rest assured, I will try to return it to you as soon as possible.
Now, in just a few years, Luo Yonghao's debt repayment speed is even faster than the speed at which he made money when he started his business.
It is really this change that makes Luo Yonghao re-judge his business value, from investors, debtors, and then to the identity of entertainment stars.
He paid off his debts steadily, did not run away or evade. Face the difficulties of life, have a strong self-care ability, stabilize emotions, and face difficulties.
Self-care not only repairs emotions, but also encompasses a long-term, sustained desire for health and happiness.
This is good for us to help us determine which option will be more beneficial to us in the difficult choice.
Self-care, the most important thing to do is to first soothe your body when you encounter difficulties, and then speak words of encouragement.
Don't blame yourself anyway. Fill yourself with strength and face difficulties bravely!
The author | Yubing, graduated from Beijing Normal University majoring in finance, has been engaged in the financial industry, and then transferred to the media industry for 3 years, a film and television analysis researcher at home and abroad, good at thinking about life from watching dramas, as well as exploring realistic emotional values from the current situation of women's existence at home and abroad, deeply inspiring many women to marry and improve themselves.