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Article 1033 in total
This article was first published: Electronic Textbook Network
Two days ago, actor Sun Li updated his daily life "this week" on Weibo, and in addition to five pictures in the nine palace grid, there were also four screenshots of text records.
The first written record is that Sun Li's son and daughter Xiaohua are discussing who has contributed the most to the family.
Xiaohua said that her father's contribution was great, because his father earned money to have food, and so on, and said: "My mother gave up her job and dedicated her time to accompany us." ”
Sun Li was very touched to hear this, and said that the next time he waited to talk back to her, he could forgive and wait for three seconds.
It can be seen that the 10-year-old boy is a rather assertive boy, even if he is naughty and mischievous, the thought that he will make his mother happy, Sun Li's heart must be happy.
This is not only that, there is also a wait to ask Sun Li, when I was in elementary school, did I like a boy, Sun Li of course said no.
Wait but said that he liked a girl in 2011, Sun Li has not yet reacted, waited until 2011 was born, he was surprised to ask who is waiting?
Wait and say, "A man named Sun Li, she gave birth to me." "Who can resist this cold earthy love story?
Sun Li's earthy love words that he said in his heart were getting higher and higher, but the happiness in the words could not be hidden. After all, raising a child who can talk well, parents in addition to pride, more from the parents of communication and guidance.
Sun Li once recorded a chat with Teacher Jin Yunrong:
"Our expression of giving, whether the child can unequivocally receive ... Build your child's self-confidence, reduce their feelings of inferiority... Most of this comes from what you say to your child every day, from your emotions. ”
Indeed, the way parents and children talk determines whether they can raise a talking child, and it also determines the future direction of the child.
1
Children are not good at talking, where is the root cause?
Do you remember that some time ago, on the streets of Changzhou, Jiangsu Province, a 15-year-old girl shouted: "Can't go?" Can't walk? "News of hitting Mom's helmet while hitting?"
Many people see this scene and think how can this girl talk to her mother like this, and how can she beat her mother?
In fact, the thing is this, the girl's mobile phone is broken, she saved 4,000 yuan, her mother promised to pay another 2,000 yuan, and the mother and daughter went to the mobile phone store together to buy a new mobile phone.
As a result, the mother suddenly regretted that she did not want to pay, and also advised the girl not to buy a new mobile phone, the old mobile phone can still be used, the girl is unwilling, and she quarreled with her mother on the street.
Many passers-by gathered around, and the girl did not want to argue with her mother anymore, so she asked her mother to hurry home, but her mother riding on the electric car was motionless.
This led to a complete collapse of the girl's emotions, when shouting, the words spoken would certainly not sound good, and it led to the onlookers accusing the girl of not understanding things.
Children will not be unexplained and do not know how to speak well, and when children are not inferior, they should examine whether there is something that needs to be improved in what their parents have done.
Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. in psychology at Harvard University, said in Emotional Intelligence:
"Emotional intelligence is the most important survival ability of human beings, and the role of IQ accounts for only 20% of a person's success, and the remaining 80% is a factor of emotional intelligence."
He believes that there are three main aspects of emotional intelligence, namely: understanding one's own emotions, understanding other people's emotions, and appropriate expression.
Parents and children spend the longest time together, whether the child will speak well, the key depends on how the parents guide, especially to understand how parents talk to the child, how the child will give back to the parents.
But when the child's words are not good, parents should be alert to whether there is something inappropriate about the way they talk to the child and the tone.
You know, only parents who really know how to talk well can raise children who can talk well.
2
Children learn to speak well, what should parents do?
The English philosopher Bacon said: "It is better to speak thoughtfully than eloquently, and it is better to be properly worded than to compliment." ”
If you want your child to learn to express themselves appropriately, parents must understand that in the process of their children's growth, they must do the following three things:
First of all, parents should talk to their children well.
A blogger on Weibo named "With Regret" wrote with a super-sentence of "severe depression patients":
"I'll never be able to talk to my parents well, like they'll never listen to me."
A short sentence, but it is very sad to read, when a child grows up, parents never talk to their children well, but only want their children to obey and do it.
As a result, the child has no way to talk to the parents well, not only is the parent forced to become a severe depression patient, but even ruins the child's life.
Writer Masaharu Taniguchi said: "Children's words and deeds are like a mirror, reflecting the spirit of the family and parents. ”
No matter what the situation, parents do not scold the child, but equal respect for the child, with normal tone and speed of speech to talk to the child, only the parents speak well, the child can answer well.
Second, parents guide their children to speak well.
The older the child, the more assertive he becomes, the more vulnerable to the influence of school and society, and there will be a situation of bumping into his parents or even swearing.
Once in the movie theater, a teenage boy sitting in the back row of me watched a movie and said, "Lean! Is this okay? "What the heck?" How can there be such scum? ”
The mother on the side whispered to stop the boy and ask him not to speak, but the boy impatiently scolded his mother: "Are you bothered?" Watching a movie also has to be so wide? ”
Then the boy's mother remained silent, and it was obvious that the boy's mother knew that her son was wrong to speak like this, but she did not fulfill her responsibility to guide the child to speak well.
In the case of the wrong occasion and way of the child's speech, parents must resolutely stop the child, tell the child what occasions should be how to speak, let the child know where he is wrong.
Third, children should be properly punished for saying the wrong thing.
"The child is still young and can't talk, don't you mind!" "What's the matter with the child?" It's normal to say the wrong thing, he doesn't understand things yet! ”
We often hear some parents give their children a round field when their children are speaking inappropriately, which seems to protect their children, but in fact, they will make their children more unscrupulous in the future.
Parents should first remind their children how to speak, and if the child refuses to correct it, he will be punished, such as confiscating toys or not allowing him to watch cartoons for a week, so that the children know the consequences of not speaking well.
The English poet Ben Johnson said in Wood, or The Discovery of Man and Thing: "Language can best expose a person, and as long as you speak, I can understand you." ”
Do not want to let the child become a person who is hated by people with an open mouth, parents should pay more attention to the words that the child usually says, and when they find inappropriate places, they should correct them in time and give appropriate punishment.
3
Parents allow their children to speak their minds and be happier in the future.
In Sun Li's Weibo, she also recorded a scene where Xiaohua's sister suddenly cried when she was writing her homework, saying that she missed her father, and waited for her brother to give her a piece of chocolate before laughing.
Sun Li asked Xiaohua: "I'm going to shoot a scene, will you think I want to cry?" Xiaohua replied, "No." ”
It seems that Xiaohua does not seem to be able to talk so much, but in fact, Sun Li is a very wise mother, and she allows the child to speak the truth, rather than just coaxing her mother to be happy.
Sun Li said that Deng Chaodu pinched a handful of sweat for Xiaohua, but she wrote: "I like such an honest daughter, because I am such a person." ”
We all know that after the child is born, it will take at least two or three years to start learning to speak, and it will take at least two or three years to be able to communicate independently, which is the golden period for parents to cultivate their children to speak well.
In the process of parents guiding their children to speak, at the same time, they should cultivate the quality of their children to speak truthfully, and encourage children to bravely say what they want to say according to their own wishes.
The Persian poet Nizami said, "Words from the heart can penetrate the hearts of the people." ”
It is expected that children can be accompanied by their parents, understand the true meaning of speaking well, and can speak their own hearts, so that the future is more worth looking forward to and will be happier.