When I got out of the sadness of the previous story, I was in a hurry to get out. I thought of once, at the same intersection, the same subway station, under the Agricultural Road elevated road, near the Guanhutun subway entrance, there was a man who said a word to me. He said, "Buy you a bouquet of flowers." I smiled and said again, no, I don't like flowers, holding things in the way. Then, the man had to give up.
So this story, for the time being, needs to set off a new chapter, a new man, a man I have not mentioned in all the previous chapters, and I do not have much intersection. Even so, even so, during my wandering and wretched years, this man has indeed given me generously, all his true feelings and dedication. It's just that all of this is on my way to chasing you, and I'm all blind. Although, this man knew me earlier than you, although this man has repeatedly raised the idea of asking me if I want to get married. I always avoid answering.
It wasn't until I was sure of you, until I liked you, until I fell in love with you, that I finally had the resolve to turn down the man's request. I have also been blunt to you, on the day we exchanged heartfelt words, on the day we were determined to go to each other's side, I was also sitting in the co-pilot, and you were also driving intently.
When the car passed a traffic light intersection, I said that a man had proposed to me before, but I did not agree because I thought I might not like it enough. After you were silent for a while, you asked with a silly hint of stupidity in your tone, did you propose marriage just after you met?
I hurriedly explained that, of course, not just met, but contacted for a period of time, but only ate a few meals, and then met a few times, holding hands, I can only hurriedly explain the reason and process of all this, just afraid that you misunderstood, just afraid that you think I was half-hearted.
Later, we didn't mention anyone else. Just a quiet enjoyment, a day that belongs only, a time that belongs only to the two of us, and you often get phone calls, you and I are together, and you have to be so busy. Although there are also a lot of dissatisfaction in my heart, thinking about such an important day, how can you still deal with the work.
Isn't this a day of mutual confession? I waited for the day with such excitement and longing, and just when it finally came, my beating heart, which was about to jump out of my body, could not calm down in the face of you.
The indescribable happiness on his face is even more wonderful. I always miss that moment, that day, that short time, although it is only one day, although it is only a dozen hours, but I can not forget it for a long time.
Because of the person I loved, he took the initiative to talk to me for the first time and asked me to wait for him. He's coming to pick me up. And I, as scheduled, also waited for him, and spent the happiest, most wonderful, and indescribable day of my life with him. Maybe I will miss this day for the rest of my life, miss that moment, miss me and us at that time.
Every time I think about it, the corners of my mouth will unconsciously raise a smile. Although there are still so many sorrows, and so many sorrows, and so many unwilling years, and so many green years that have passed, I will still be forever, remembering that moment, remembering that day, remembering that day, so excited, so beautiful, and so excited about us.
Although on such an important day, there was no holding hands, no hugs, and no words of liking to the other party. But that wonderful moment of the day turned out to be an even more indescribable day.
And this man, it can be said that he met by chance and scene. Later, we ate together and talked about each other's needs and plans for marriage, plans for the future, and arrangements for the present. It's just that no matter how hard I try, no matter how the other party expresses his liking for me, of course, you can feel again that I am a little narcissistic again, but this man in addition to praise, and always agree with everything about me, he really told me all his things, bluntly. Maybe the reality is that many people care more, before I met you, I also cared about it, and I would measure it, but when I met you, after I met love, I was indifferent to these things.
Cars, houses, even if there is a lot of money, but my heart, but I can no longer feel the heart. Because I know that bread can be earned by itself, and money can be won by itself. But love, you can't find it. Like someone, if you can't be with him. So why should I make a desperate bet, still have to break the boat, and desperately like it.
Of course, at that time, it was just such a simple idea, I felt that I liked it and should have it, and I felt that I should be together when I loved each other. So, my recklessness, my impulse, my determination to desperately seek answers, finally annoys you into anger, finally exhausts you, finally makes you decide to give up.
But now, after you ruthlessly rejected me again, I no longer have the courage and confidence of that day, let alone whether I still dare to run to you, whether I dare to be with you, whether I dare to be careful to like you and wait for you. Once again, like an ostrich, I was going to bury myself in the sand forever.
Because, I have lost the determination to love someone at all costs, and I have lost the opportunity to start again with you. Now I am the crazy woman in your eyes, and now you are the yellow medicine man in my eyes. Frightened, terrible, frightened, uneasy. But that's it, leave it to time.
And I can only tell you, and you say that time will give everything today a definite answer. My current mood, my current pain, my heartbreak now, in the long river of relentless loss of years, in the end, will come out of the water. Although, although maybe that day comes, we won't remember again whether or not today, or what happened. Although today, it is still so thrilling, still so shaking.
Still, we can't decide anymore, and today will pass quietly. Then in every tomorrow, every tomorrow, let us wait and see. Sometimes I also think that it is better to get married, it is better to marry a man who loves himself a little more, and get married and have children, and live an ordinary life. But after this deep blow, I found that I could not live such a life at all.
Of course, I also gambled with you that I would marry a strange man tomorrow, when you rejected me, when you were so determined to give up on me. I was so angry that I wanted to marry a strange man. But then I calmed down and dispelled my evil thoughts. How could I easily decide again to be with someone I didn't know well.
So when I gamble to say these words, it makes you even more disgusted and disgusted, disgusted and disgusted with my moodiness. But how can I have this, this moodiness, when dealing with others besides you? Only to you, only to you, can I give full play to all my feelings. Second, when we live in harmony, do not quarrel, and do not face separation, why should I be so unreasonable and uncontrollable.
Of course, you won't accept any of my arguments and explanations at all. Because you firmly believe in your heart that this is my essence, that this is my flaw, that this is the fatal flaw that I cannot be guarded by you again. So you firmly believe that between us, the problem is more of me.
Even now you think so. But you should continue to think so. Because if I want to change you, I always know that it is a more difficult thing than climbing the Himalayas. I've long since given up, or never expected, that you'd make any changes in any relationship or scenario.
The other man, I don't want to go on, I don't want to go on writing. Because since I was determined, determined to reject the other party, I will not give the other party any hope, and such a person will fade out of my life and my life from now on. But I still want, I can only continue to write, only our chapters. Even though you will still be seriously injured by my words, you will still speak harshly to me, you will still hate my self-righteousness, you will hate my innocent moaning, you will hate my enthusiasm, you will hate everything I have written about you.
But, perhaps, continue to live in the world you hate for a while. During that time, let time quietly soothe the wounds on your heart and flow quietly. I no longer have the strength to argue or the courage to hate you. I can only pay tribute to the past with sincere feelings for the past, once again, silently, in a corner of my own, to pay tribute to everything that has passed. Then, give our story a more dignified and unadorned ending.