❶ There are three red lines for youth blind dates in non-institutional units
Once upon a time, blind dates between young men and women have become two camps.
One camp is the blind date of young people in the unit within the system, and the other camp is the blind date of the non-unit within the system.
The blind date of the vast number of ordinary young people who have not entered some "unit establishments" is probably only three red lines
The first blind date red line of ordinary youth: there must be eye margins, that is to say, looking at each other is the first criterion, and the appearance and figure have played a key role. - If you don't look at the right eye, don't talk about it!
The second blind date red line for ordinary young people: there must be a place to live, for example, rural youth must have a decent small building in their village, preferably in the local town or county seat. The youth of the city must have a house in the city, and it is better not to give their parents the kind of separate "marriage room" that they live in. - No decent place to live, no need to talk!
The third red line of blind date for ordinary young people: there must be legitimate things to do and financial resources, no matter what you do, there must be things to do, no woman is willing to marry a man who has nothing to do, no man is willing to marry a woman who is good and lazy. Most ordinary people get married to live a life, there is no legitimate thing to do, that is, love lacks bread, that is definitely not long! - There is no stable thing to do or no income, the income is too low, no need to talk!
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❷ There are six rules for youth blind dates in institutional units
The First Blind Date Rule for Youth in Institutional Units: Maintaining the Formation of a "Moat"
In general, objects outside the establishment are not found.
An internal circulation is formed between public institutions and civil service units.
There is a clear "moat" between the establishment and the ungrouped youth.
Unless there are special circumstances, or the other party is particularly good, in general, a woman who already has a staff cannot choose a boy who is not organized.
Occasionally there will be a situation where men inside the establishment choose women outside the establishment, and this situation is generally a woman who is either very beautiful, or has a strong family, or is a lover who has been in love since college and is reluctant to give up the relationship.
The second blind date rule for young people in institutional units: reciprocal types of preparation
The first priority for civil servants is definitely to find civil servants.
Finding civil servants in career establishment is called "earning", and civil servants looking for career establishment is called "losing".
Finding a full career to find a difference is called "barely ok", and a full career to find self-support is called "for love".
Self-supporting undertakings are called "picking up leaks" if they find a public servant or a civil servant.
The third blind date rule for young people in institutional units: reciprocity of the establishment level
The basics in the province are selected in the provincial units, and the provinces generally do not choose the city or the county.
Of course, there is also a special case:
It turned out that both men and women worked at the grass-roots level in the county, and established a romantic relationship during the grass-roots work, and later one of them was transferred to a higher-level unit through the selection of the province and city, and the two could not bear to give up this relationship, so it became a combination of a provincial establishment and a county establishment.
Of course, there are still some townships in the county, after all, the gap between the county and the township is not too big.
The possibility of choosing a township in the city is not very likely. However, the city may also choose the kind of staff in the county that is closer to the city to get married. Now the transportation is convenient, many cities and counties have highway connections between each other, dissolving the distance barrier, but also contributed to the love in some cities and counties.
The fourth blind date rule for young people in institutional units: the overall strength gap in the family is not large
Young people who can now pass five levels and cut six will get a bachelor's degree or above and are lucky enough to be admitted to the establishment of civil servants and public institutions are all very fortunate people.
This group of people has relatively high requirements for their own lives, and their expectations for the future and quality of life are significantly higher than those of young people in other industries.
Therefore, when choosing a mate, they pay more attention to the comprehensive strength of the other party, rather than just looking at the other party's establishment.
If a boy even enters the establishment, but the original family conditions are very poor, the burden is very heavy, it is difficult to have a girl with good family conditions to find him to fall in love.
If a girl enters the establishment, plus the family conditions are solid, the appearance is medium or excellent, it is likely to be pursued by a large number of men in the system. In the end, women will basically choose to marry a quality man with better family conditions than herself.
The fifth blind date rule for young people in institutional units: the more grass-roots units, the more difficult it is to prepare and match the success rate
On the one hand, it is because there are so many people in grass-roots units, the circle is so large, the ceiling of development is relatively close, and the level is also very general, especially the overall small number of young people. Therefore, even if there is a compilation, the chance of successful pairing at the grassroots level is not large.
There are two groups that have the hardest time pairing successfully within a system:
(1) Primary and secondary school teachers in the township, especially female teachers. Because although female teachers are all full-time career staff, the proportion of female teachers in primary schools and middle schools in the township is more than 70%, and there are more women and fewer men, so it is difficult to successfully match them in the local area.
(2) Female ordinary civil servants and career establishment personnel in the township. The number of places that can be recruited in the township every year is as high as 3-5, as few as 1, and more often, there is no vacancy for several consecutive years, and there is no recruitment. And it is very strange that the workers who can now be admitted to the grass-roots unit system are mostly women and fewer men. Therefore, even if occasionally a township can pass a boy's examination, either others already have girlfriends, or others are bent on selecting to the superior unit and do not want to stay in the grass-roots unit for too long, so they do not have the heart to consider personal emotional problems. For a variety of reasons, it is difficult for women in the system of many grass-roots units to choose the object of affection and satisfaction.
Sixth blind date rule for young people in institutional units: female staff in busy units are less well received
For example, the nurses in the hospitals in the county are not very popular in the marriage market.
Although many nurses are in the staff, but they are at the end of the allocation of medical units, they belong to low-tech positions, therefore, their income, career development in general, more importantly, their overtime duty is a lot, which seriously affects family life, so many men in the establishment will not choose to have a nurse to marry, unless it is particularly beautiful, except for men who love it.
There are also some female workers in some systems that require constant exposure to dangerous positions, and men will also think twice when choosing a mate.
Of course, men choose the most important appearance, under the catalyst of high appearance, even women without compilation will have many men in the system to pursue!
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Compared with the "three red lines" of male and female blind dates outside the system, the six blind date rules for men and women in the units within the system are much more complicated and the requirements are much higher.
This also shows that the higher the level of the group, the higher the probability of expecting marriage, the greater the expectation for the future, the more realistic the pursuit of the quality of life and the quality of marriage, naturally, the more critical the future spouse.
The six rules of blind date between men and women in the units within the system reveal the pride and pickiness of this group, and also unveil the three fig leafs of the employees in the establishment from another side.
❸ Three fig leafs for employees in the establishment of the institutional unit
The first fig leaf for employees in the establishment: deep inner insecurity
It is reasonable to say that ordinary young people entering the establishment of institutional units means that it is no longer a problem to ensure harvests in drought and floods, and to live a decent life with food, clothing, warmth and dignity.
Solving the problem of food and clothing, life will naturally develop in the direction of getting married and having children and continuing the future.
However, the "six rules" delineated in the hearts of employees in the establishment strongly hinder them from cultivating marriage and love relationships.
This is because the "six rules" reflect the deep-seated insecurity in the hearts of employees in the establishment.
(1) Although there is a stable rice bowl in the establishment, the total income is limited, and the income of any one person cannot support the expenses of a family. If the income of an employee in the establishment can support a large family, then they have no financial worries, and when choosing the other half, as long as the other party and themselves look at each other, they may marry directly. Even if the other party does not have a stable job and income, it does not matter, you can say it with great confidence in order to like each other: I raise you!
(2) Although the staff will not be dismissed for no reason, the space for growth and rise is limited, which means that the life of most of the employees in the staff can actually be seen at a glance. Therefore, the employees in the establishment, whether men or women, want their future partners to be employees within the establishment, so that they can understand each other and avoid the mediocre life of one person in the establishment, and the other if they do not do business within the establishment, the career may develop well, they will not be on a platform, and the other party will certainly be inferior.
Therefore, when dating, the formation of a chain of contempt between different levels of compilation and types of compilation is also this psychological motivation.
Facts have also proved that in any marriage relationship, if the career gap between the two is too large, the gap between the development platform is too large, and the wealth and income gap is too large, the final direction is basically to go their separate ways!
(3) The discipline within the establishment, especially the discipline and style discipline, is very strict, and in the current impetuous atmosphere, it can effectively avoid the stimulation of both men and women looking for extramarital feelings. Many times, after the marriage of men and women in the establishment, even if they meet a more favorite person outside of marriage, they may also strongly restrain their desires and impulses in order to keep their jobs or positions in the organization. Thus effectively maintaining the long-term and stable nature and stability of the marriage!
The second fig leaf for employees in the establishment: the vanity anxiety of more than the upper and lower levels
(1) In today's society, young people who enter the establishment are, after all, a minority. In short, strict selection procedures and low "landing rates" determine that there will be a short-term aura on the heads of employees in the establishment.
Society, relatives, and friends all recognize, encourage, tout, and elevate employees within the establishment.
In fact, the people who are inside the wall are only willing to know themselves.
After all, the so-called civil service establishment is nothing more than a very ordinary and ordinary job. Their overall income, their career development, is actually just that. There is still a big gap between their overall living conditions and living levels and the high expectations given by their relatives in society.
People are vain.
They need to find the opposite sex in the same establishment to marry in order to achieve financial stability in the "two-wheel drive", and they expect their future other half to either have more free time to better take care of and raise children, or to be able to mix up with a half-time job.
(2) Many young people in the establishment, even if they find that there are objects they like to be satisfied with around the opposite sex, they are likely to choose to give up because the other party is not in the organization. It is not necessarily that the other party is not good, but because they (they) choose non-institutional unit personnel, they will be resisted by their parents, and at the same time, they also feel that they are not cost-effective and have no face.
It is very simple, a girl, if the boyfriend is a young person working in a unit within the system, she will be very generous to introduce her boyfriend when she gathers with relatives and friends during the New Year's Festival. But if the boyfriend is in a small business, they are reluctant to introduce themselves in front of relatives!
The third fig leaf for employees in the establishment: their own conditions cannot support their inner pride and life expectations
Their own conditions cannot support their inner pride and life expectations, which is particularly prominent among young women in the system.
If a girl who looks extremely ordinary or even a little ugly, and whose original family conditions are also very poor, once she is admitted to the establishment of a unit within a certain system, it means that the probability of her lonely old age will be as high as 70%!
There are many young women around me who have very ordinary conditions in the system, and they have become super-aged "leftover women"!
These women with extremely ordinary conditions, if they are not admitted to the civil service career establishment, they will position themselves as ordinary women, lower their stature to choose a mate, will not pick and choose the conditions, and if they barely get by, they will marry themselves, but they will not become "leftover women", because their positioning of themselves is more accurate, and they will not look up.
Once admitted to the establishment, these women who were originally extremely ordinary in their own conditions immediately "floated" up!
Women in the compilation, whether beautiful or ugly, will give three psychological price codes to the men who pursue them:
First, either the establishment or the family must be one or the other, otherwise there is no talk.
Second, those who do not have a house in the city, do not talk about it.
Third, the appearance and body are not the type that they are satisfied with, no need to talk about it.
But in the real world, as long as the men who meet their three major conditions basically look down on these women who have a compilation, but do not look good and have bad family conditions!
Even men who do not meet the above three conditions do not look down on these pretentious women. Because men choose a mate, the first thing is to look at the face, not to see if there is a compilation!
In this sense, most women obviously overestimate the influence of the identity aura brought by a compilation in the choice of mate!