The fate of the frog
One day, a frog called the fortune teller and asked about his fate.
The fortune teller said, "This year, you'll meet a young girl. ”
The frog jumped up in delight, "Oh, really? Was it at the prince's wedding? ”
The fortune teller said, "No, it's in her biology class this year." ”
Expelled
One day, the husband came home and said to his wife, "Honey, I was fired from the zoo. Just because of a small thing, it's so unfair. ”
Wife: "What little thing?" ”
Husband: "I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night." But they don't want to think about who dares to steal the tiger! ”
Do your cows smoke?
Two peasant children were chatting, and one of them suddenly asked, "Does your cow smoke?" ”
Another child said, "You're crazy, how can a cow smoke?" ”
"Oh, it must be your cowshed on fire."
Here are a few
My son is two years old and is learning to count.
On this day, Dad held out a finger and said, "This is one." ”
The son then said, "One! ”
Then Dad held out two more fingers and said, "This is two." ”
The son then said, "Two! ”
At this time, my mother came over, held out two fingers and asked, "Baby, how many are these?" ”
The son replied very seriously: "Several! ”
Let him guess
The two brothers look alike. One day, they were wandering down a lively street. Suddenly someone asked them, "Tell me, you two, who is the older brother and who is the younger brother?" ”
The younger brother quickly said to the older brother, "Brother! Don't tell him first, let him guess. ”
Soy sauce
The father asked his son to play soy sauce, and the son said, "Isn't there still in the bottle?" Dad shook his head and said, "Too little." ”
A few minutes later, the son returned with the bottle. Dad took a look at the soy sauce bottle and was stunned, the bottle contained most of the bottle of stones.
The son said triumphantly, "Daddy, you use it, that's how crows drink water." ”
The king is a fool
The little monkey wrote a line on the wall: "The Tiger King is a big fool." ”
The big yellow dog immediately arrested him and locked him up, and posted a notice in the forest, announcing that the monkey was guilty of two major crimes: one was to insult the king, and the other was to leak the most important secrets in the forest.
Pork prices have risen
There was a man who liked to scold people, and once he called his neighbor a pig and was fined two hundred yuan by the court.
The man defended, "Mr. Judge, last time I also scolded people as pigs, but I only fined one hundred and fifty yuan." ”
"Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do because the price of pork has recently gone up."
You're fired
"SpongeBob SquarePants, you've been fired."
"Crab Boss..."
"No thanks."
I pinched it
One day, puppies, bunnys, and kittens were pulling together.
The kitten said, "Look! The poop I pulled was one by one. ”
The little bunny said, "Look! The poop I pull is round.
The puppy said, "Look! The poop I pull is triangular.
The kitten and the bunny asked the puppy, "How is your triangle?" ”
The puppy said, "Hey hey, I pinched it." ”
Good deeds
Dad and XiaoLe watch the boxing match that is being broadcast on TV. Dad asked, "Who do you like better?" ”
Xiao Le thought for a moment and replied, "I like the uncle in the middle." Not only does he not hit people, but he always pulls the other two people apart, and must be a good person! ”
Bows
Xiaoming was curious about his navel and asked his father how his navel came from.
Dad briefly explained the principle of connecting the umbilical cord to the fetus and the mother, and said: "After the baby left the mother," the doctor cut the umbilical cord and tied a knot, which later became the navel. ”
Xiaoming: "Then why doesn't the doctor wear a nice bow?" ”
Starve mosquitoes
Xiaoming had just fallen asleep when he was bitten by a mosquito.
He got up to catch the mosquitoes, but he couldn't drive them away. He couldn't help it, so he pointed at the mosquito and said, "Well, if you don't go out, I'll go out!" ”
As he spoke, he left the room, slammed the door shut, and said triumphantly, "Hum! I won't go into the house tonight, I'll starve you to death!" ”
You're not good
Xiaoming: "Dad, why do you have so many white hair?" ”
Dad: "Because you're not well-behaved, Daddy has a lot of white hair." ”
Xiaoming thought for a moment and said, "Then why is Grandpa's head full of white hair?" ”
Don't be funny
"Dad, can I grow up to be as big as you?"
"Yes, in another twenty years."
"At that point, I don't have to ask my mother about anything first, I can do whatever I want, right?"
"Don't be funny, son, I haven't even grown up to be that father."
Stir the coffee
Xiaohong asked, "Do you use your right hand or your left hand when stirring coffee?" ”
Xiaomei said, "Right hand." ”
Xiaohong said, "Oh, you're so powerful, you're not afraid of scalding, I use a spoon." ”
Shady
Rats participated in the animal draft and were eliminated in the first round. The mouse went around telling people that there was a dark curtain, and when people asked him what was wrong, he replied, "I just went in, and the judge actually asked me to take a cat step to see." ”