This is the 267th true story of Selfie
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Tang Xiaojun/Dictation
XIII/ Written
Zu Yifei/Editor
My name is Tang Xiaojun (@Tang Xiaojun's A-side funny life), and I am a 32-year-old Bao Ma and entrepreneur. In our post-90s generation, I've always felt like I belong to the category of bad cards. When I was a child, my family was poor, and my parents preferred sons to daughters, which led to me being forced to drop out of school at the age of 15 and be taken to work in an electronics factory in Shenzhen. At that time, I thought that a salary of more than 800 yuan per month was the whole meaning of life.
After working for a year, I was unwilling and wanted to go back to school, but my parents still did not agree, and finally my father (uncle), who had been a soldier, stood up and persuaded them. The road to study is also very bumpy, I was admitted to the top class from the bad class, but experienced deafness in the right ear and the failure of the college entrance examination, all the way from school to society. After walking through these slopes and bumps, I now have a happy family and a career that is doing well.
This is a photo taken at the startup base, and now I am the owner of 6 jewelry stores.
I was born in 1990 in a small mountain village in Tangba Town, Tongnan, Chongqing, when Chongqing was not yet listed as a municipality directly under the central government, and Tongnan District was still called Tongnan County. My dad earns money to support his family, and my mom doesn't have a job and always loves to go outside and play cards. Two years after I was born, there was another little brother in the family. Maybe it's because of the preference for sons, I never seem to be the one who is pampered.
From the beginning of my understanding, I began to share the housework, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. I often did it. Junior high school lives on campus, and as soon as I get home on the weekend, there are a bunch of clothes waiting for me to wash. Sometimes the food is not good and I get scolded, especially when my mother loses playing cards, or my father doesn't receive a job. And the younger brother doesn't have to do anything, he is only responsible for playing.
The impression is that the family has always been very short of money. Once during the school holiday, I happily rushed out of the school gate with my bag, only to be stopped by a person at the school gate, who said to me in front of so many people: Your father owes me two hundred yuan, go back and ask your father to quickly return the money to me. At that moment, I was very embarrassed, my face was red at once, and I couldn't say a word.
Until junior high school, our family still did not have a decent house, and could only borrow and live in the tube building of a relative in the county town. The room was about ten square meters, separated by four wardrobes in the middle, and my father and my mother slept with my brother outside, and I slept inside.
There are no windows inside, there is a sewer under the bed, and the stinky and dirty water from the winery next to it is discharged from below. It was overcast and damp in the house, my pillowcase was covered with mold all year round, and when it rained, it would emit an unpleasant smell. To this day, that musty smell still pervades my memory.
This is one of the few photos I took when I was a kid.
From elementary school to junior high school, I lived with my parents in a relative's house until the summer of 2005. I was 15 years old and forced to drop out of school before I graduated from junior high school. My parents thought that it was useless for girls to study, so they took me to Shenzhen and entrusted people to find an assembly line post in the electronics factory. With that age-changing ID card, I started my first job.
The factory mainly processes the boards of electronic products, and also makes satellite navigators on fishing boats. Inside were basically young people, sitting densely in front of the assembly line. Everyone goes to work at 8:30 every morning, often working overtime until 11:20 p.m., and sitting is a whole day. After entering the factory, I first did welding, and then I did handymanship, either stringing or pulling, which was very boring.
That Spring Festival, I met two older sisters in the factory park. They were both college students, and they walked ahead of me and complained all the way, one said that the year-end bonus was only 40,000, and the other said that she was only more than 30,000. I thought to myself, Oh my God, such a good treatment is not enough? My monthly salary is only more than 800 yuan, and I can't earn 30,000 yuan a year!
The gap in reality made me instantly sober: a rural child like me, maybe only reading can change my destiny. At that time, I had the idea of going home to study.
After work, I called my parents, picked up the phone and couldn't help it, crying that I wanted to go back to school. My parents didn't agree after listening, they felt that I wanted to go to school is fake, and I don't want to work is true. My mother advised me on the phone: "You have earned a lot now, you are so stupid, you don't have to read anymore, you have to work after reading, and you can save money early without reading." ”
The phone call made me feel bad, but I didn't know how to convince my parents. For those few days, I lay on the iron bed in my dorm room, turning over and couldn't sleep, and finally thought of my father. After he retired from the army, he worked in a state-owned enterprise in Chongqing, and he had more prestige in our family. Listening to my situation, my father contacted my father and said that if the family really did not want to provide me with study, he would provide it, even if it was a chance for me, if you could read it, everyone would continue to provide it.....
Under the persuasion of my father, the 16-year-old finally returned to campus from the electronics factory, and my parents did not let my father pay for it in the end. This dropout was a special experience for me, and my worldview changed a lot.
However, the excitement of returning to campus did not last long, and the problem came. Since I dropped out of junior high school and had no grades, I had no high school to read, so I could only go to another junior high school and start from scratch.
In the photo of my hometown in 2007, I was particularly unconfident at that time.
In the eyes of many teachers in school, I was just a student who did not study well and dropped out of school, and they were accustomed to such a half-way person, after all, my original grades were really not good. When I came to school, almost all the classes were reluctant to accept me.
I stood in the teacher's common office, confused, worried that I would have to go back to the electronics factory. Just then, a teacher slowly looked up at me and said, "Come to my class." "I was so happy that I finally had a book to read, and when I went there, I realized that it was the worst class in the whole grade." For me, it was already THE ONLY CHANCE TO SURVIVE.
In order to squeeze in more time to study, I bought a flashlight, read until one o'clock every night, and got up at five o'clock in the morning to continue. When others are sleeping, I read books with flashlights in the bed; when others wash, I recite English in the corridors. Anyway, it is to keep watching, keep carrying, the whole person is like beating chicken blood.
The most impressive thing is the first monthly examination, after the results, the Chinese teacher comes to hand out the paper, reads from more than one hundred points down, reads one and goes up to get one. In the end, they all read more than 30 points, and they have not yet reached me. I really wanted to get under the table, and it was a shame to try so hard and take such a poor test.
Later, the teacher picked up a paper and stopped, "The following person is very special, she took the first grade of Chinese, the first grade of the students I brought, I want to invite her to eat popsicles." Immediately after, the teacher read out my name. In those days, popsicles were already the best reward a teacher could give.
After a semester in the top-of-the-line class, I was admitted to the top class, and later promoted to the county high school with the first grade in the whole year. I scored more than 630 points in the middle school entrance examination, and the full score was 750 points, although compared with the current students, this score was not unattainable, but this score was rare in the small county at that time, and several teachers who taught me were proud of me.
In 2010, I took a picture with my grandmother, and the adobe house behind us was our family's old house.
My high school was strong in science and weak in the liberal arts. As soon as I entered high school, I was uniformly assigned to the top class of science and science, and I was elected as the class leader. After a semester in this class, I found that science was a bit difficult, and I preferred and was better at the liberal arts. The second semester, I applied to transfer to a liberal arts class and became the head of the class again.
There are many things in the liberal arts that need to be memorized, and in order to squeeze in time to study, I insist on day reading. Every night when I returned to the second aunt's house where I lived, I had to go through what I had learned that day, read books at night, and recite them in the morning. Maybe I am also working harder, my liberal arts results have always been very good, political, historical, and local grades are equal, plus the number of words, the average score is more than 550 points, and I have taken the first place in several grades.
In my third year of high school, my teacher asked me where I wanted to study, and I said Shanghai because there was a wider world. Shanghai University is the minimum goal I set for myself.
But when I felt that everything was going well, fate played a joke again. In my junior year of high school, my male class teacher hugged a girl in the girls' dormitory. Because I was the class president, the female classmate approached me and asked me to help her figure out a way, so I took her to the principal's office. Later, the class teacher was punished, and the female classmate was briefly suspended from school due to the pressure of public opinion.
I was also caught up in this storm. Some people scolded me, saying that the class teacher was usually so kind to us, but I was ungrateful; others scolded my class teacher. I was so uncomfortable that no one told me what to do, and I didn't dare tell my parents. Not long after staying in school, my psychology had problems, and when I was only one or two months away from the college entrance examination, my mental state was seriously unable to go to school on time, and I often had to take leave to go home to rest.
It was also at that time that I developed tinnitus symptoms. At first, one ear could not hear, and then it slowly became two ears, and there was always a rumbling sound, and it became more and more serious. When I went to the hospital for a check-up, my right ear was no longer hearing, and the doctor said it was neurotic deafness and there was no way to cure it. Various reasons led to my poor performance in the college entrance examination, and finally I was only admitted to an ordinary second college.
This is my diagnosis sheet from the previous year, and the tinnitus symptoms have been going on for more than a decade and have not improved.
The college entrance examination hit me hard, and after coming to college, I was still quite inferior in my heart and could not find self-confidence. What really put me at ease was the experience of traveling abroad in 2018. A friend was volunteering in Cambodia at the time, and I went to play with her for a few days.
A friend took me on a tour of Tonle Sap Lake, and when our boat approached a large boat, a mother and daughter took the initiative to greet us. The little girl, who was probably only three or four years old, with a snake coiled around her head, said, "Sister, you touch it, you touch it, it's only a dollar." "Her hair was dirty and her clothes were old.
Friends told me that these people were borderless refugees, stateless, living off wandering and begging, and were on board all year round. At that time, I really had a sense of relief about the past, I thought, no matter how bad I am, no matter how difficult it is to live, I am not as miserable as these children, not to mention that I am not miserable.
In order to make my life a little better, I began to use the weekend to work part-time, hand out flyers or something, and earn some pocket money. Every winter and summer vacation, I go to work. In the summer, when there are many people, I will go to Chongqing Beicheng Tianjie Street to set up a stall, buy goods from Chaotianmen Wharf, and carry two large bags of jewelry to the Ninth Street or the Liberation Monument to sell.
Especially on Ninth Street, the later things are sold, the better they are sold, and in the early hours of the morning, those who come out to play are happy and spend a lot of money. Probably because it was too hard, I just entered the university door I was more than 170 pounds, and when I graduated from college, I lost only a hundred pounds.
In the late years of college, I began to learn to take selfies after I lost weight.
In the case of good business, I can earn ten thousand yuan a year, which is used to subsidize living expenses. Every year at the beginning of the school year, I buy myself clothes to wear for a semester, as well as large items to use, such as mobile phones and computers, and then happily return to school.
I was in a relationship once during college and broke up not long ago. Because at that time, I was still a little inferior, didn't understand what love was, and felt that someone liked me very satisfied, and this mentality made me love too humblely.
For a long time afterwards, I didn't expect love until I met my current husband in 2013 when I was a junior intern. He was one year older than me, went to university in Chengdu, and had just come out to work in Chongqing at that time. The first time we met, I said that the conditions in my family were not good, if we wanted to buy a house, the family did not have the ability to help us, everything had to rely on ourselves.
He was stunned to hear me say this, I thought he was leaving, but after a while he said: Our family is also rural, there is nothing, if we are together, we will fight together. This answer made me feel like he accepted me and he was willing to fight, and we both longed for a better life. So we were together after that meeting.
In 2013, my husband and I met, he was a bit thick, did not like to take pictures, and left such a photo after meeting.
We spent two months together, and by the National Day of 2013, he took me to meet his parents. Carrying suitcases, the two of us transferred from Chongqing to Chengdu, and then took a bus for several hours to ride all the way to Meishan. The more I walked, the more I muttered, I think this young man is unreliable, will it be a lie?
As soon as I got off the bus, I saw his mother standing in the distance, smiling and coming over to pick us up. Seeing her smile, my heart was a little more solid. As soon as she got home, her mother took out the slippers and pajamas she had bought for me, and prepared me a lot of delicious fruits and snacks, neither asking me about my family or my occupation, but just listening to me.
Because of my senior year internship, I often had insomnia during that time, but I slept very soundly that night. After the boyfriend got up at seven o'clock, he and his mother-in-law went out to the market, and the father-in-law was alone in the field to make melons, fruits and vegetables. I got up at eleven o'clock and found that there was no one in the house, and they left me a bowl of porridge and two salt eggs in the pot. This is the first time I have felt the warmth of home so strongly, and I especially want to live such a down-to-earth life.
My husband gave me a watch, and when we didn't have money for gifts, he drew me a watch.
In 2014, the two of us got married. We were all just working, we didn't have money, we didn't have a wedding, we didn't take wedding photos. We saw a couple photo project in Shapingba, 799 yuan a set, I added a hundred yuan, made a large photo frame, sent it back to my mother-in-law, let the family take care of the wedding dress.
When we got married, we didn't have a wedding, and taking a group photo of a couple was considered a wedding photo.
My mother-in-law felt too careless to go, and kept telling me: I still want to give you money, you take it to buy some gold. I said: I don't want it, I don't wear it, I have to save the money. My husband's career has just started, his monthly salary is more than two thousand, and he is responsible for the rent and living expenses, and I don't think there is any need to waste money on these things. I just want a home, a home where I can live in peace.
I remember once, we were passing by a commodity window in Shapingba, I looked at a sweater, as long as 50 yuan, I felt that spending money was wasted, in the end I was still not willing to buy. As a result, we walked out, we all crossed two streets, and my husband pulled me back again, and Bought it for me, saying that in the future, when you have money, you can buy whatever you want, don't be so aggrieved. At that moment, I felt very warm, and I thought that although we had nothing at the moment, we could fight together and have it again in the future.
This is the sweater we bought for 50 bucks, which I wore for many years and finally deformed before I threw it away.
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My husband is a typical rake ear, and he took care of me after marriage. After losing weight in college, I was in poor health, often in the middle of the night stomach pain headache, he was very patient every time to take care of me, accompanied me to the hospital. At that time, he didn't have money to eat outside, so he went to learn to cook with one of his uncles in the company, and cooked soup for me after each work. From marriage to now, I have cooked less than 10 times in total.
Although my husband spoiled me very much, after getting married, I have been holding my breath, watching the people around me buy houses and cars, and I also want to live a better life. I originally studied teacher training, and during the period of graduation and internship, I found that because of listening, teaching in class was really not suitable for me, so after graduation, I did not become a teacher, and finally found a construction company to do clerical work, with a salary of 3,000 yuan a month.
This is my hearing aid, and I can hardly hear sound without wearing my right ear, mainly because I did not choose to be a teacher.
The construction company is mainly led by designers, the clerical work is very leisurely, and I have nothing to do after dealing with some text work every day. Others were busy studying and drawing, but I had nothing to do, and this state made me very uneasy. After working for a year, I saw a job posting from JD.com and signed up without hesitation. Especially when I heard that this department has a transfer, winter and summer vacations, and the delivery points of the university are under their control, I am very impressed, but I also know that my resume is not beautiful.
On the day of the interview, there were many students who graduated from school, and I was very unremarkable in it. When it was my turn to go in, I sincerely said that I was not familiar with the express delivery business, willing to study hard, and talked about my experience of dropping out of school and going home to study, saying that I was determined to do a good job.
The interviewer was surprised after listening to it, saying that my story touched him, and said that the competition for this position is very fierce, and if you want to come, you can wait for his news. After about 20 days, I received a reply, and the interviewer said that the quota was down, and he tried to get me out of the crowd.
From the moment I received the offer, I was immersed in a kind of excitement, thinking that it was rare to sign such a famous company. This mentality lasted for so many days that when HR asked me what I wanted from my salary, I said there was nothing to ask for, as long as I could learn something. This is also my heart's word, people have given me such an opportunity, I can't be sorry for this trust. Although my salary has only risen by more than 1,000, every day I have been on the job has been fulfilling.
At the beginning of the department, there were only two people in the department, me and the leader, I had to do everything, dock with the upper department, communicate with the lower department, and grasp the operation management. The data table is not familiar, so I asked my husband to learn excel and ppt by myself when I got home from work, and learned data analysis. When the business was too busy to come, I got in the car to unload the goods myself; I was sick the day before, and the next day I could turn over and go to Chengdu for a business trip.
People in the company said that I was a desperate samurai, and that year, the leader also applied for an internal touching person award for me. He said he wouldn't encourage me to do this and would take more rest in the future. I don't think it's anything, because these hardships are nothing compared to when I was a child, compared to when I worked in college.
This is the honorary certificate I received at JD.com at the end of 2016, and I won many awards this year.
When I worked at JD.com for a year, I found out I was pregnant. When I first got pregnant with my child, it was also the busiest time for our department. I often have to work overtime, my health is not very good, and my morning sickness reaction is serious. At the most important stage of my career, the child came into my life and Caught me a bit off guard. After a month of struggle, I made up my mind and decided to give birth to the baby.
After resigning from the company, I rested at home for three months, sleeping every day and doing nothing. Maybe because I was too tired from work before, I have been putting too much psychological pressure on myself and carrying a lot of things. Three months later, I had an idea, a bold idea to juggle my family and work with peace of mind— to open my own shop and sell jewelry.
So, while I was still pregnant, I tried to open an online store, wholesale from Chaotianmen, and shipped it at home. I want to see how far I can do, and if I operate well, I will continue to work for a long time in the future.
I take my own photos, design my own stores, and run my own. When I first opened the store, the business was not good, and I took a single business in three days. Later, I went to learn the style and marketing methods of other stores, through the online and offline circles to sell, because I used to have some resources in the company, at this time I also used it with a thick skin, let my friends help me promote. Slowly, the business improved, from the beginning to receive one or two orders to two hundred orders a day, and then began to do wholesale.
This is the first time I have opened an online store, worked as a model myself, and taken my own photos of the products.
All along, I have a wish, especially want to open my own literary and art shop. In 2018, coinciding with the fierce competition in online jewelry stores, in order to expand sales channels, I closed the online store and began to transform into a physical jewelry store.
When the first store opened, it was remote at first, on the second floor, the store was small and the business was not good. Every day in the store to find ways to increase the number of customers, such as sending flowers and cards, after the business slowly improved, I recruited the first employee, step by step expansion.
This was my first fast-selling jewelry store, and all the decorations in the store were designed according to my own preferences.
This stage is also my busiest time, personally getting started, while selling and logistics, loading and unloading I do. In my spare time, I also take courses related to jewelry aesthetics and learn some management knowledge. I came to the store at nine o'clock every day, and sometimes I didn't come home until ten o'clock at night, so I didn't even have time to spend with my children and family.
My husband and mother-in-law often tell me: You have time to spend more time with us and accompany your children. But at that time, I was so preoccupied with my career that I couldn't listen to it.
After a year, I had enough money to rent the shop again, this time moving the shop from the second floor to the first floor. The location of the shop is in the core area of Chongqing's cultural and creative industry, and when the business is at its best, it sells more than 30,000 yuan a day.
It was also with the savings saved from the first store that in three years, I opened 6 jewelry stores in Chongqing and Chengdu, including fast-selling jewelry and original design silver jewelry. The annual sales once exceeded 5 million, and the return on business gave me the ability to buy a house and a car in Chongqing.
In 2019, I studied jewelry enamel craftsmanship with a teacher in South Africa.
In 2020, just as the career was booming, an accident suddenly occurred. At that time, I was looking at a shop in Chongqing, and suddenly I received a call from my husband, who said that you are coming back soon, and my father is gone, that was the first time I heard my husband crying. I didn't even have any luggage, so I rushed to my in-laws' house.
When it was time to rush home, the father-in-law was still gone. He was a carpenter, and while working that day, he was accidentally hit by a prefabricated board and died on the spot. My mother-in-law cried heart-wrenching, my husband was devastated, and I was particularly uncomfortable, and the whole family was immersed in grief.
My in-laws have been very kind to me since my husband and I got married, and they treated me like they treated my own children. I was confinement, they helped me boil soup and cook; I started a business, they helped me with the kids. Originally, I also planned to wait until I earned money to buy a large villa, let my father-in-law and mother-in-law grow vegetables on the first floor, and live with us in Chongqing. But suddenly, a person who was originally alive left, and everything was empty.
This incident made me realize that some people, lost, are a lifetime. My father-in-law will never come back, and I will never be able to make up for it. The only thing I can do is take care of and accompany the rest of my family, cherish my husband, mother-in-law and my children. It is more precious to open more stores, make more money, and live a good life with your family.
After my father-in-law's accident, I began to spend more time on my life, and often went to the café downstairs to rest after work.
These 6 jewelry stores were all built by myself from scratch. Last year, I made a decision to give a portion of the store to a few employees in the store, so that everyone would become my partners. They are all good sisters who have come all the way from 2018 with me to the present, some used to be nurses, some are housewives, although their academic qualifications and professional backgrounds are different, they are very down-to-earth, and they take care of these 6 stores with me, and none of them take the initiative to leave.
Many people think that I am not stupid, and the company I have worked so hard to build up is managed by others? But I feel like I've earned it, and my sisters have shares that can better manage my store, and I have more time to take care of my family and design silverware.
Because I have experienced too many difficulties in the past few years, life has ups and downs like a roller coaster. So I know that slowing down is more important to myself, and that what I want is life itself, not just wealth.
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#Selfie My Story#【This group of graphics is exclusively released in today's headlines, it is strictly forbidden to reprint] The above is the real experience shared by @Tang Xiaojun's A-side funny life. This is also the true story of the 267th issue told by the selfie. If you also want to tell your own story, please send a "private message" to tell the "selfie".