Some people may remember the name Pang Xiuyu, 20 years ago, she was a very popular genius girl.
At a very young age, Pang Xiuyu showed an amazing talent for writing, and she won countless awards in various composition competitions across the country.
At the age of thirteen or fourteen, Pang Xiuyu published a personal collection of essays, and she became the youngest member of the Tianjin Writers Association. Because of her achievements in literature, Pang Xiuyu won the "National Top Ten Literary Teenagers" and received the award in the Great Hall of the People.
At the same time, the major media began to report and pursue her, and At this time, Pang Xiuyu became a "prodigy star" who attracted much attention.
Young and famous, talented, based on such a high starting point, it is reasonable to say that Pang Xiuyu's life should be easier to succeed than ordinary people.
Even if she grows up, she cannot become a famous writer in the literary world, write a masterpiece, and with her writing talent and writing skills, it should not be a problem to find a decent job, support herself or support her family.
However, her life trajectory is not as smooth and brilliant as many people expect. On the contrary, Pang Xiuyu's life is much more bumpy than ordinary people.
She dropped out of school without even graduating from junior high school, and later had 3 children out of wedlock. What is even more tragic is that after Pang Xiuyu gave birth to the child, she was ruthlessly abandoned by the child's father.
In order to make a living, Pang Xiuyu chose to submit an essay for marriage, and among her marriage conditions, there is one thing that makes people confused, that is, the other party is required to be over 50 years old.
From the peak of life to the bottom of the valley, what did Pang Xiuyu experience? Who is responsible for her tragic fate of going high and low? After submitting for marriage, did she find a man worth entrusting for life?
Everything has to start from Pang Xiuyu's childhood.
I. The "Cultivation Plan" of a Talented Girl
In 1979, Pang Xiuyu was born into an ordinary family in Nankai District, Tianjin. Her father, Pang Yi, worked in a union for a construction company.
At that time, not long after the reform and opening up, the people's living standards were generally not high, and Pang Xiuyu's family was also not rich. However, with Pang Yi's salary, it is not a problem to support a family of three, at least it is insufficient than the top, and there is more than enough than the bottom.
However, televisions, sewing machines, bicycles, etc., these "big pieces" that people with the same income level can afford, the Pang family does not have.
It turned out that Pang Yi used most of his savings to buy books, and his family had more than 12,000 books.
Pang Yi was once a young intellectual, he loved literature and writing, and was a proper literary and artistic youth, and the family collection of books was the best proof. However, he did not meet with talent, had literary enthusiasm, but had no stage to show.
Therefore, Pang Yi pinned his unfinished ideals on his daughter Pang Xiuyu. He began to cultivate Pang Xiuyu from an early age, and formulated an extremely strict "Divine Cultivation Plan".
When he was three or four years old, other children were still tired of playing in the arms of their parents, and Pang Yi began to teach his daughter to read, count, and memorize poetry.
When she first went to elementary school, other students were still learning pinyin and strokes, and Pang Xiuyu's literacy could already support her to read books normally.
Pang Yi stipulated that her daughter should read famous books every day and write reading notes, and keeping a diary every day was also a task that must be completed.
By the age of 10, Pang Xiuyu had to complete more than 2,000 words of writing tasks every day.
Pang Yi's plan for his daughter was extremely meticulous, even accurate to the minute. Pang Xiuyu has no time to rest, and every moment must be carried out according to her father's plan, 365 days a year, every day.
The intensity of the plan drawn up by Father Pang was almost suffocating, and even adults could hardly accept it. What's more, it is the nature of children to love to play, and Pang Xiuyu certainly wants to be lazy, and of course hopes to play with other children.
However, Pang Yi's requirements for his daughter are very strict, and the tasks set every day must be completed, otherwise, Pang Xiuyu will be severely punished by her father for either beating or scolding.
In Pang Xiuyu's impression, her father was very serious, and since she could remember, she had never been tired of lying in her father's arms, because she had a fear of her strict father.
Under the high-pressure policy of Pang's father, the young Pang Xiuyu can only suppress her playful nature, tense her nerves every day, and study hard. In elementary school, Pang Xiuyu often obtained the "double hundred" score, but this was only the basic requirement of Pang's father for her, and it did not make him more happy.
It was not until Pang Xiuyu participated in the National Youth Essay Contest sponsored by a magazine for the first time and won the prize that Pang's father showed a rare satisfied smile in front of his daughter.
This made Pang Xiuyu find that participating in the competition and winning the prize was the best way to satisfy her father, so she began to pay attention to the essay notices of various essay competitions.
From this incident, it can be seen that under Pang Yi's education method, Pang Xiuyu's psychology is that the purpose of her doing everything is only to please her father.
Because of a certain talent for writing, coupled with the almost cruel and strict training from childhood, Pang Xiuyu's writing ability is indeed much higher than that of children of the same age. As a result, she has also won many honors that are difficult for ordinary people to reach.
She has won awards in major essay competitions across the country. At the same time, her articles and poems were published in many magazines and newspapers. From 1991 to 1993, Pang Published a total of 40,000 words.
In November 1993, Pang Xiuyu was selected into the "Chinese Youth Yearbook" and the "Dictionary of Contemporary Chinese Young Talents" compiled by the State Education Commission. In the same year, she became one of the first scholarship recipients of the Soong Ching Ling Foundation.
In 1994, Pang Xiuyu, who was a junior high school student at Tianjin Experimental Middle School, won the title of "National Top Ten Teenagers in Literature". She was also honored to receive the award in the Great Hall of the People.
"Tianjin Daily" did not hesitate to use two full pages to report that "talented young girl writers" read thousands of books, and CCTV also reported on Pang Xiuyu's deeds and called her "genius girl".
For a time, Pang Xiuyu's name was well known in Tianjin and even throughout the country. Articles praising her one after another, many of which praised Father Pang's way of education.
Seeing the "masterpiece" created by one hand, recognized by everyone and achieved impressive results, Pang Yi was extremely excited and excited.
He hit the iron while it was hot and compiled his daughter's articles into a collection of essays "Hope" for publication. It is said that at the new bookmark sale, Pang Xiuyu's signature was swollen.
Because of her achievements in literature, the Tianjin Writers Association extended an invitation to Pang Xiuyu, and she became the youngest member of the Tianjin Writers Association.
Literary giants, the 90-year-old Mr. Barkin, have written handwritten replies to her, sending her blessings and encouragement...
2. Became a mother of 3 children in 11 months
For the hot genius girl Pang Xiuyu, many media lined up to interview and report on her. At most, Pang Xiuyu was interviewed by 16 media outlets a day. In addition to interviews, many schools invited Pang to give lectures and lectures.
At this time, Pang Xiuyu was a "magic star" who attracted everyone's attention, and a genius writer who was envied by countless classmates and parents, which was the highlight of her life.
At this time, what Pang Xiuyu felt was flowers, applause, warmth and enthusiasm. Father Pang also tirelessly took on various invitations to various activities for his daughter and enjoyed the glory of focus.
However, Pang Yi did not know that when the water was full, it overflowed, and when the moon was full, he did not know that he should protect his daughter and guide her correctly at this time, he only knew that he excessively enjoyed and consumed her existing fame.
Problems soon arose: Ms. Pang frequently attended events, gave media interviews, and was given the opportunity to travel to Japan as a delegate because she won awards, which led to her frequent absenteeism.
At that time, a classmate in another class wanted to ask Pang Xiuyu for an autograph, but she went to her class seven or eight times in a row, and she was not there, which showed how busy she was.
The long-term absenteeism caused Pang Xiuyu's grades to plummet, and later, except for the Chinese language class, she failed all other courses.
Such results are too far from the standard of "at least the top three in the whole grade" of Pang Father.
Seeing that the "prodigy" he had created had become a "school scum" and powerless, Pang Yi's temper became more grumpy, and he began to drink heavily, and after drinking, he would punch and kick his wife and daughter.
Pang Xiuyu's mother has a weak personality, has no opinion when things happen, and usually Pang Yi is the master of the family. For her husband's domestic violence, Pang Xiuyu's mother chose to endure in silence.
From "genius" to "scum", from her father's pride to the object of drunken violence, Pang Xiuyu also endured tremendous pressure and pain.
The feelings of rebellion and school-weariness accumulated deeper and deeper in Pang Xiuyu's heart, and finally after re-studying for the third month of junior high school, she made a decision for the first time without asking her father's consent: to drop out of school.
Soon after, on a stormy night, Pang Yi was drunk and committed domestic violence against his wife and daughter, Pang Xiuyu and her mother escaped from home in the rain, and after that, her parents divorced (it is said that Pang Yi had an affair at that time).
After the divorce, Pang Xiuyu and her mother rented a small house in the suburban junction. The roof leaked during the overnight rain, and Pang Mu suffered from diabetes again.
Forced to make a living, Pang Xiuyu can only find a way to make money. However, the aura of a talented girl is no longer there, and it is difficult for her to find a decent job after graduating from junior high school.
In the end, Pang Xiuyu found a job as a waiter in the Dream Garden Restaurant, with a monthly salary of 500.
Although the salary is not high, but there is an errand, it can be considered to be able to live. However, the blow of dropping out of school and divorcing her parents is only the beginning, and what awaits Pang Xiuyu is an even more painful abyss.
When Pang Xiuyu was working as a waiter in a restaurant, a man aged 30 or 40 often visited. This man was polite, well-dressed, and spoke gently and politely, and he left a good impression on Pang Xiuyu.
Because he often went to dinner, as soon as he came and went, this man and Pang Xiuyu knew each other. Through the conversation, Pang Xiuyu learned that his surname was Liu (there are also people with the surname Wang, here temporarily called Liu), 36 years old, and an ordinary employee of a company.
In the process of interacting with Liu, Pang Xiuyu was unguarded, and she told Liu all her experiences.
After learning of Pang Xiuyu's experience, Liu told her that he would provide her with college in the future and fund her literary creation. Pang Xiuyu was convinced of Liu's words.
Liu's thoughtfulness and concern for Pang Xiuyu made her very moved. The simple Pang Xiuyu did not think about why this man, who was 16 years older than her, would help her for no reason.
After getting acquainted, Liu deliberately drunk Pang Xiuyu, who could not drink, during a meal, and in her drunken state, he had a relationship with her.
After waking up drunk the next day, Pang Xiuyu learned that in fact, Liu Had already had an intention for her. She cried and made trouble with Liu, and even held a kitchen knife to force Liu to "take a stand".
When Liu saw her like this, he pretended to sincerely assure her: "Xiuyu, you can rest assured, I will always love you, I will always accompany you." ”
At that time, Pang Xiuyu did not even know Liu's full name, nor did she know his family situation and other information, only what his surname was, and she naively believed Liu's words.
After that, Liu rented a house for Pang Xiuyu and her mother, and gave them 1,000 yuan a month for living expenses. Naturally, he and Pang Xiuyu were often tired of being together.
Not long after, Pang Xiuyu became pregnant. She happily told Liu the news and proposed the marriage.
Liu Mou was also happy that Pang Xiuyu was pregnant with their child, but for the matter of marriage, he said: "Xiuyu, the matter of marriage is not urgent, you give birth to the child first, anyway, I will marry you sooner or later." ”
Pang Xiuyu seems to be used to listening to people at their mercy, and she is almost obedient to Liu. In the process of Pang Xiuyu and Liu's interaction, Pang's mother has not given her daughter any advice, including the matter of unmarried birth.
At the end of 1999, Pang Xiuyu gave birth to a son for Liu. At first, Liu Mou also liked his son, and he increased the living expenses of Pang Xiuyu by three or four thousand per month.
Just when the excitement and novelty of new motherhood had not completely subsided, Pang Xiuyu was pregnant again. When she found out, it was more than five months old, this time pregnant with twin daughters.
When Liu Mou knew, he seemed a little unhappy and did not want to leave the two children. However, after examination, Pang Xiuyu's physical condition was not suitable for surgery.
In this way, only 11 months after giving birth to her first child, Pang Xiuyu gave birth to a pair of twin daughters, when she was not yet 22 years old.
Third, the lawsuit was tragically ambushed on ten sides
After giving birth to two daughters, Liu began to be much colder to Pang Xiuyu. Later, she learned that Liu had a wife, and his wife was a professional woman who was unwilling to give him children.
After knowing the situation, Pang Xiuyu almost did not faint, and she unconsciously became a third party. At first, in order to appease Pang Xiuyu, Liu lied to her that he would divorce the original partner and then marry her.
However, Pang Xiuyu did not wait for Liu's words to be fulfilled. On the contrary, he appeared less and less, and later, he did not even answer the phone.
Liu Mou also stopped giving her living expenses, and saw that even the child's milk powder money was gone. Desperate, Pang Xiuyu had to sue Liu in court.
However, where the simple Pang Xiuyu is Liu's opponent, her lawsuit is also a twist and turn.
The first lawyer Pang Xiuyu found was not a good person, and he wanted to take advantage of Pang Xiuyu, but he did not succeed.
At the first trial, Pang Xiuyu's lawyer and defendant Liu Mou were absent at the same time as they had agreed in advance, making the trial impossible.
Helplessly, Pang Xiuyu had to change to a female lawyer. Under the investigation of the female lawyer, there was a surprising discovery.
It turned out that Liu Was not an ordinary employee of any company, he was actually the legal representative of the two companies, with assets of more than 7 million yuan.
After knowing that, Pang Xiuyu was also surprised, and she consulted the lawyer about how much compensation she should apply for. The lawyer said 3.5 million.
Therefore, Pang Xiuyu entrusted a lawyer to submit a supplementary complaint to the court, asking the court to order Liu to pay 3.5 million yuan in maintenance to 3 children and pay it in one lump sum.
However, during the trial, Liu divorced his original partner, 6 million yuan of property to his wife, 1 million to his father-in-law, and himself to leave the house.
At the time of the judgment, a Tianjin Intermediate People's Court upheld the original judgment and sentenced Liu to give Pang Xiuyu 1,200 yuan in maintenance per month.
Legal professionals said Ms. Pang did not file for property preservation while filing a lawsuit. But don't lawyers understand either? Therefore, some people believe that Pang Xiuyu was once again betrayed by the lawyer.
It is said that later, Liu Mou found someone to talk to Pang Xiuyu, saying that due to economic reasons, he could not afford to pay a monthly maintenance fee of 1200 yuan, and since then, Pang Xiuyu has not received maintenance.
Fourth, submit an essay for marriage, and require the other party to be over 50 years old
Since then, Pang Xiuyu has rented a simple small house in the suburbs with her three children, her mother, three generations of grandchildren, and five people.
The family's life is very poor, a penny is broken into two halves to spend, when the child is sick, there is no money to go to the hospital, Pang Xiuyu even acts as a nurse to buy medicine for the child to inject.
The double pressure of spirit and material almost crushed Pang Xiuyu. She once wrote an article titled "How Far Is the Road from a Well-Known Little Writer to an Unmarried Mom?" The article reads:
"I am filled with confusion, loneliness and deep despair about the future. When my heavens and earth were dark, three small hands gently wiped away my tears for me. At the moment when I was only one step away from death or madness, three pink faces transmitted to me infinite strength, and I had to get up..."
In an interview, Ms. Pang even said she was willing to sell her marriage as long as she could raise her three children. At this time, Pang Xiuyu was completely living for the child.
Later, Pang Xiuyu genuinely sent a marriage notice to a newspaper in Tianjin, and her condition was that the other party be over 50 years old.
Maybe it's because she thinks men over 50 are mature and secure, or maybe it's because she thinks men over 50 are more receptive to her three children.
Although she is a mother of three children, Pang Xiuyu, who is less than 40 years old, still has a bit of posture. Therefore, after the marriage notice was issued, there were still many applicants. Among the many applicants, Pang Xiuyu chose a southerner in his 50s.
Recently, when a reporter interviewed Pang Xiuyu, she learned that because the southerner did not agree to her taking the child and marrying him, she finally broke up unhappily.
Today, 42-year-old Pang Xiuyu lives with another man in his 50s. She revealed to reporters that the man was very kind to her and also solved the problem of the three children going to school.
Pang Xiuyu willingly played the role of a housewife for him, although she was still not married...
Looking back at the tragic fate of Pang Xiuyu's high and low walk, who should be responsible for her misfortune?
There are articles that say that Pang Xiuyu's father should be fully responsible. Because of her cold and harsh authoritative father, she deeply affected Pang Xiuyu's personality, making her inferior and self-conscious.
Pang Yi's responsibility is indeed very large, he is actually extremely selfish, not to love her from the perspective of his daughter at all, but to selfishly make her the way he wants, but to satisfy his vanity.
Some people also say that it is the responsibility of the media, because the media is too much for Pang Xiuyu in order to rub hot spots, which has a very bad impact on her healthy growth.
At that time, Wu Ruozeng, a freelance writer in Tianjin, published an article opposing the media's pursuit of Pang Xiuyu. Looking back at the articles that pursue Father Pang's education now, it is inevitable that people feel absurd and funny.
Others say that it is the responsibility of Pang Mu, because she is too weak, and she has always been with her daughter throughout the fate of the first half of her life, but she has never played any help and protection for her.
In fact, Pang Xiuyu herself should also have a certain responsibility, she seems to be used to living for others, living for her father when she was a child, and later living for Liu Mou, who is morally upright, and then living for her children, she has never had the consciousness of living for herself.
Who is more responsible? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments section.
epilogue:
Finally, I wish Pang Xiuyu can get rid of the previous shadow as soon as possible, live the life she wants, and live herself.
I also hope that all parents can care for and love their children in the right way, so that they can grow up healthy and happy.