Recently, a 9-year-old girl in Zhengzhou was diagnosed with "depression", and what everyone did not expect was that the cause of the girl's "depression" was her homeroom teacher "too beautiful".
After this matter was exposed, it caused heated discussion among netizens. At about 13:50 on October 22, Tencent Education's official account conducted an online survey with the theme of "What do you think is causing depression in girls?" ”
As of 20:00 on the evening of the 22nd, a total of 5896 people participated in the survey.
The survey results show that 14.9% of people believe that the reason is poor emotional regulation of children.
9% of people believe that the reason is due to parental neglect,
41.5% of people believe that the reason is the deformed propaganda of "beauty and ugliness" on the Internet.
32.5% of the people believe that it is caused by the lack of psychological education of adolescents.
2.1% thought it was some other reason.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="6" > the phenomenon of "drowning" is of interest</h1>
According to a survey conducted by Tencent Education, 41.2% of netizens believe that the main reason lies in the deformed propaganda of "beauty and ugliness" on the Internet.
This situation definitely exists, and now some networks lack the correct guidance on the phenomenon of beauty and ugliness, and even some deformed propaganda, so that children have formed a deformed aesthetic.
But I don't think that's the main cause of depression in girls. The deformed propaganda of "beauty and ugliness" on the Internet is widespread, why has it not had such a serious impact on other children? Why didn't other children suffer from depression as well?
The heart of beauty is shared by everyone. But there is such a kind of beauty love behavior, but it is worth vigilance:
This pursuit of beauty is an activist pursuit based on beauty, and the pursuer deliberately pursues "beauty" without any time, place, environment, culture, identity and other factors, and even this behaviorist pursuit has exceeded the connotation and expression of "beauty" itself.
I call this phenomenon "drowning."
The phenomenon of "drowning" has two important characteristics:
First, from the perspective of time, the pursuit of "beauty" (appearance) is particularly prominent, and its long-term nature will bring continuous harm to people;
Second, from the perspective of behavior, the pursuit of "beauty" itself has exceeded a certain limit, and it is very "strong" in life, which is unacceptable to those around it.
In layman's terms, "drowning beauty" is actually a kind of "wayward beauty" and "rampant beauty". What is really lethal and destructive is that the suitors are "extremely willful" and "extremely arrogant", not only "ignoring" the feelings of those around them, but also often deliberately highlighting themselves. For the behaviorist himself, it is a "self-intoxicating beauty"; for those around him, however, it is a "suffocating beauty".
From a psychological point of view, the essence of "drowning" is not "individualism", but "psychological role dislocation". Actors fail to accurately understand the environment in which they live, cannot play their due role through factors such as time, place, environment, culture, identity, etc., and cause harm to others due to their "psychological role dislocation".
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="15" > the child's mother has "drowning" behavior</h1>
From the available information, the mother of the 9-year-old girl did have "drowning" behavior.
The mother's "drowning beauty" is manifested in the fact that the mother has created a "suffocating beauty" in the home for a long time, the mother deliberately ignores the role of the role from a girl to a mother, she loses the role of a mother in front of the child, just dresses herself beautifully, deliberately highlights herself, and never cares about the children's feelings. This kind of "psychological role dislocation" creates a repressive environment for children.
The mother's "drowning" behavior was confirmed by the child's attending doctor.
According to the attending doctor in Zhengzhou, the child's mother also looks "very beautiful" and is easy to dress up, and she believes that the homeroom teacher is "generally beautiful". This is evidence of mom's "drowning". This mother is "selfless" in the pursuit of beauty, the display of beauty and the contrast of beauty at any time and anywhere. This behavior itself is the main cause of depression in children.
Children are generally affected in this environment in two ways:
One is to pursue beauty in the same wayward way, and the pursuit of beauty by a 9-year-old child has exceeded the behavior that should exist at her age;
Second, in the process of pursuing beauty, children will have a strong inferiority complex, and children will be overwhelmed by their mother's "drowning" behavior.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="19" How can > avoid or change "drowning" behavior? </h1>
"Drowning" behavior within the family will bring harm to every family member, especially children; in the workplace, it will cause disgust to the people around them and cause interpersonal tension.
So, how can we avoid or change such "drowning" behavior? Here, we make three suggestions for your reference:
First, continuous learning, correct understanding and deepening understanding of the connotation of "beauty". The basic connotation of beauty is: the heart of love of beauty is everyone; human beauty includes external beauty and inner beauty; inner beauty can improve people's cultivation and temperament, and is the most important form of human beauty.
Second, according to the environment, play your due role. Everyone lives in a different environment, and the environment is also changing, according to different environments to play different roles, in order to avoid the occurrence of the phenomenon of "psychological role dislocation", in order to avoid the "drowning" behavior from the root.
Third, strengthen education and guide children to establish aesthetics that are appropriate to their age stage. The biggest harm to the "drowning" behavior is the child, parents should strengthen education and guidance, cultivate children's self-confidence, and let children establish an aesthetic that meets the age stage.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="38" >Exhed reading: The 19-year-old daughter is extremely inferior because her mother is too beautiful</h1>
In 2018, a program of Hubei Tv welcomed a special guest, this guest from Taiwan, her name is Zheng Liangxin. Zheng Liangxin looks particularly beautiful, but she has always been very inferior.
According to Zheng Liangxin's own statement, the reason why she has always been inferior is that "her mother is too beautiful". Because "her mother is too beautiful", she herself feels that she can't lift her head, is not confident, and over time has formed an "inferiority" psychology.
"Mother is too beautiful" will also make the daughter inferior? It's a bit unbelievable. In the show, Zheng Liangxin's mother also came to the scene, as soon as she appeared, she immediately caused the whole audience to scream, this 49-year-old mother, dressed very fashionable and beautiful, its fashionability exceeded everyone's imagination.
In the later conversation, the audience found that this mother was in the family, often dressed very fashionably, often ignored her daughter's feelings, and what was even more infuriating was that the mother often went in and out of her daughter's social occasions, dressed fashionably and beautifully, liked to dance sexy and hot dance, and suddenly attracted everyone's attention.
The daughter felt more and more annoyed, and as long as there was a scene of her mother, she felt very inferior. I didn't dare to dress up as a daughter anymore, and basically dressed up as a boy. However, Zheng Liangxin herself is already a very beautiful girl. Mom's behavior puzzled and disgusted everyone.
The problem lies in this mother, whose "drowning" behavior is very serious: in front of her daughter, even in social situations, her "psychological role" is completely out of place, and her words and deeds are not in line with the stable image of a 49-year-old middle-aged woman, let alone the image of a mother whose daughter is already 19 years old.
In the words of the previous article, the beauty that the mother herself pursues is a kind of "self-intoxicating beauty"; however, for her daughter Zheng Liangxin, it is a "suffocating beauty".
【Image from the Internet, invasion and deletion】