It is often said that when they were young, no one had met a few scumbags.
This seems to be a light breeze, in the end it is easy to say, look at how many girls are self-consuming for the heartbreak of the scumbag, delaying youth and future, both at home and abroad.
First of all, I would like to advise all female friends here: cherish life, stay away from scumbags, we can't afford it!
Xiaobian's foreign girlfriends often complain that their predecessors are too scummy: help each other to successfully jump jobs, teach each other how to invest in real estate, originally rushed to the goal of marriage, and as a result, the other party immediately abandoned her and married Xinhuan after meeting the "True Destiny Daughter"...
It's frustrating that every time she's attracted to bad guys. Is this the legendary man not bad woman not love?
Many French girls have the same troubles: I am always unconsciously attracted to scumbags, fantasizing that I can save and influence each other, just like doctors and nurses treat patients, and finally the prodigal son turns back and marries.
I don't know whether to use "Virgin Syndrome" or "Savior Syndrome" to describe...
One example is Chloe, 30, who has a letter "N" in her little notebook representing Nathan, a man she's been in a relationship for 3 years.
3 years ago, when Nathan was unemployed, Chloe edited her boyfriend's resume and submitted him a job, and she even helped him pay the daily fines he couldn't pay.
For love, she took on almost all the responsibilities.
Relieve, heal, save... This is what Chloe loves, and she bluntly says that she is always attracted to scumbags and enjoys the happiness and beauty of giving.
Giving does give us happiness, and in a relationship it is often the giver who is happier, but everything should be stopped, after all, things must be reversed.
Chloe's profession is a nurse, perhaps due to occupational diseases, and her bottomless contribution in love is like what people call "savior", "nurse", etc.
French experts say not only women, but also many men.
However, in the process of endless giving, people constantly lose themselves and ask themselves: What about me? What am I? Will my lover give me the same giving and love?
According to psychotherapist Béatrice Demon, being attracted to scumbags is no accident because the other person is a mirror that looks at him. People are often attracted to the traits they desire, such as the desperate desire of a well-behaved woman to rebel, so she is obsessed with bad boys.
On the other hand, our love for our partners has the shadow of family to some extent, such as girls often find boyfriends according to their father's template, and boys prefer girlfriends who are similar to their mothers.
According to expert analysis, Chloe's love for the scumbag is inseparable from the influence of the original family: when she was 6 years old, her parents divorced, her mother left the family, and she was forced to become a pillar and take on all the housework to take care of her father.
So Chloe got used to taking care of men and got used to this way of life, so she fell in love with her "second father", the useless scumbag boyfriend Nathan.
Experts say that many irresponsible parents push the burden of family responsibilities to their children, but the children's shoulders are too small to pick up the beams and cannot solve the problems of adults, so the problems of adults should be solved by themselves.
On the other hand, the girls play the savior in order to prove that they have an irreplaceable position, and to strengthen the fortress of the relationship through giving.
Psychologists hope that through psychological counseling and treatment, patients like Chloe can clearly understand the reality: a mature partner does not need your infinite internal friction, love can be very simple, that is, to love you as you are, without having to bend over in order to beg for love.
-END-
Ref：
https://madame.lefigaro.fr/bien-etre/syndrome-de-infirmiere-sauveur-couple-relation-toxique-020222-199225
https://madame.lefigaro.fr/bien-etre/souffrir-pour-etre-heureux-la-theorie-sensee-dun-professeur-de-yale-260122-210511
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