In the movie "London Life", when the male and female protagonists talk to each other, there is a classic dialogue:
"I love you!"
"It's going to pass."
Just 7 words, but it has stung the hearts of countless girls: when you meet a man who does not dare to accept love, your tenderness will also turn into doubts and disappointments like the heroine in the play.
Fan Tree is like that. She said to me:
"Teacher, I met a boy through blind dates. This man is good at everything, but there is one, I can't figure it out.
That is, every time I talk, I have to start, I don't look for a topic, he doesn't talk, and sometimes, I deliberately cold him for three or four days. I thought he was going to come to me, but he didn't. He would only give me some enthusiastic responses if I approached him first.
Teacher, what is his mentality? Don't know how to take the initiative to chase girls? ”
In general, there are only two reasons why we say men don't initiate:
1 You can never wake up a person with low self-esteem
Because men with low self-esteem will never learn to take the initiative. Their attitude towards love is the four words "keep the plant and wait for the rabbit". The rabbit went into the net, and I hit it. The rabbit didn't want to come in, and it must have been the rabbit who didn't have a fate with me.
They are out of love and would rather sit on the toilet and smoke a cigarette all night than say to their girlfriend, "I'm sorry, I'll take the initiative later." "Because they're afraid of failure, they're afraid of rejection.
And negative emotions are prone to a vicious circle, so the more afraid of failure, the easier it is to fail. Emotionally, people who "wait for the rabbit" are often less confident and have a low sense of value.
Solution: Forward boot
He has no confidence, is afraid of failure, so you give him confidence and throw him enough bait. For example, highlight his appreciation and recognition in the chat. You can say:
"You are such a gentle man."
"You always say you can't talk, but every time I talk to you, I feel very happy."
Then, let's be more specific about this positive guidance:
"You are very gentle and take good care of my emotions, but I have never received a message from you. Hmm, people are really upset. ”
In this way, he will gradually change.
2 People who don't love you will never cherish you
If a man only likes you 30-40%, then he can talk to you very well, but he will not bother you.
Because in this case, most men already have goddesses, and you can only play a role in "relieving boredom" by chatting with him. To put it mildly, for men, it is a bit of a "chicken rib".
Only when they are dead set on the goddess will men be able to invest in your continued enthusiasm.
Solution: Deliberate cooling
In the face of such a man, you have to prove one point: you are not a chicken rib, you have a high value. Losing you is his loss.
When practicing, you can snub a man. For example, in the past, we would take the initiative to message men every day. Now, we can ignore him for days in a row.
Not only that, we also want to build a positive image in the circle of friends, constantly expand the resources of the opposite sex, and show ourselves good for the opposite sex.
In this way, the man's heart is bound to be full of a sense of crisis, which will promote him to repeatedly measure in front of reality, and he may be able to regain enthusiasm for you.
If this trick doesn't work, sister, I advise you to change the object. After all, he was not so good that no one could replace him.