Friends, recently the "Single is Hell" love complex has occupied my entire platform.
Beauty bloggers all song Zhiya imitation makeup, the major variety shows are eager to take the identity of women one to five men to the bottom.
A love complex feeds the whole network KPI.
But the more it was hotter, the less I wanted to see it.
Listen to the mechanism of the show: sleeping in a hotel with companions, surviving on a lonely island.
Hear the name again: singleness is hell.
My little sister has been watching and complaining to me these two days: What's the matter, this year's single people even have to be ridiculed for watching the show, right?
But then again, it's kind of like a projection of reality.
Single people are urged to fall in love, and people who are in love are urged to get married.
The plain version of singleness is hell played out every day.
But when I caught 3 friends who had always wanted to fall in love and talked about it, I found that it was not only the small matter of love that made them anxious.
I'm 28 years old.
Friends around you are either married or in a sweet love.
Today's boyfriend sent the first bag of winter, and tomorrow he will take a beautiful sweet photo.
As for me, the bridesmaids alone have been three times, and each time they grab the bouquet more actively than anyone else.
Last month, just after attending a wedding of a good friend from high school, she directly handed me a bouquet on the spot, saying that she hoped to bring me some peach blossoms.
To tell the truth, in addition to happiness and emotion, there was also a trace of heartache overflowing at that time.
We say that independent women focus on their careers, and their hearts have long been scratching their ears and scratching their cheeks.
Parental nagging and peer pressure are baked on both sides at the same time.
In the past two years, under the greeting of my mother, it does not matter whether it is a young talent or a crooked date, relatives and friends can arrange all the arrangements.
Even my distant cousin flipped through the address book to pull me a programmer who was running away from the goose factory.
Touching my conscience, I really cooperate fully, but I can't blame me for not being able to do it every time.
Two days ago, my mother pushed me a business card to let me grasp it.
After chatting for a while, the other party sent me a large chat history.
It was a conversation he had with another girl, who said that his parents didn't like the girl's family, but he liked it.
The implication is that the girl only deserves to be in love with him and cannot marry.
Let's not talk about what this has to do with an outsider to me.
Just seeing the sentence "I told you about this, I don't want to be a scumbag" gave me a complete head-scratch.
The dating app on my phone hasn't been interrupted either.
At first, I was embarrassed, and it felt like I was doing something improper.
After chatting online for a while, I found that there are actually many normal people, and finally plucked up the courage to meet offline.
There is not much difference between others and photos, and we talk very closely.
But the biggest black humor happened half an hour before date ended, and he stood in the door of the movie theater and said to me, "Or you don't go back tonight."
At the moment, I felt as if I had been poured a basin of cold water on my head, and my heart was cold.
You can say that I am conservative, but my real reaction at the moment is, is it that all your gentle actions today are to pave the way for this sentence?
Later, I myself wondered if it was the same as my parents said, the requirements were too high, but it was difficult to achieve.
But I really couldn't convince myself to spend the rest of my life with someone I didn't like.
For me now, the matter of being in love is not so much anxiety as fear.
I am afraid that I will never be able to talk about love again, I am afraid that I will not be able to keep up with the footsteps of my peers, and I am afraid that I will really become the person who "lives my life" in the mouth of my parents.
I, empty window for 3 years, finally got off the list last month.
Speaking of which, my single process is really enough to toss and turn, almost launching everyone around me.
Friends of the opposite sex will want to call me, and the sisters in different places will help me rush up to WeChat when they meet the right one.
People say the harder I work, the luckier I get, and the harder I try, the more I rush.
Looking at this or that, it was good, and the heart was moved in a big circle, and one was not fished.
The turnaround happened on the day I stepped into the company downstairs to take a taekwondo audition class.
In fact, the quality of the class is still alive, but the coach is really good-looking, tall, thin but muscular, my heavenly dish type.
After several weeks of explicit hints before and after class, we both produced some ambiguous flames.
One time in the early hours of the morning, I asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend at the instigation of a friend.
The next afternoon, when I woke up and saw his two words back, I remembered what had happened.
Our relationship began, and at first I felt like I was on top of it.
Say good morning and good night to each other every day, and the lovers on a certain sound template must do small things and punch in.
The sense of ceremony is in place, but the more I get along, the more I get along, the more I find that this person doesn't seem to be suitable for me.
Maybe I didn't have the right mindset.
Before the relationship even started, I folded many layers of buffs on it.
I feel that there is an object of mediocre life that will be saved, and the loneliness of the city will be solved.
It took so much effort to get off the list, and within a month of the two of them, I told him that I had broken up.
Friends asked me why, and I could only say one sentence, there was no feeling of being in love.
The object is like a tool person in this relationship, and I pin my sweet expectations in various relationships.
But whether or not there is a real engagement, only I know.
For me, who has been trapped in love anxiety, it seems that I am taking off the list, as if it is to complete the task.
How big the original illusion was, how strong the sense of loss is now.
In the process of chasing love, it seems that it is more and more difficult to distinguish whether it is purely out of liking each other, or because of the obsession with completing the love affair.
Let me tell you about my personal situation.
Female, 25 years old, single mother and fetus.
Usually, if there is nothing important that must go out, the nest room is no problem for a month.
I myself don't like to deal with people, let alone communicate with the opposite sex, the men I know, plus my dad's ten fingers can be counted.
But love, still want to talk about.
After all, I am only socially afraid, and I am not love incompetent.
Although my own attitude towards love is to lie flat while anxious, my friends are really kind and elderly, and have been constantly introducing date objects for me.
At first, my friends introduced me as half pushing and half pushing, thinking that in case I could do it this time.
But later, it really becomes the existence of daily and weekly KPIs.
Meet, chat, report impressions one-stop.
My blind date became a regular weekly conversation column, and the types of guests were almost similar.
It is not that the love xiaobai who did not have the last sentence in the previous sentence, or the chat and chat became an iron brother.
Once in the middle, on the way to a blind date, I was asked by a boy for WeChat.
Originally thought it would be a strange fate, but later found out that the fate is not, but it is quite strange, and I did not talk for long began to ask me for an address to send something.
Some very rough cups, some books full of love words, warmly make people scratch their heads.
In these moments when the harder I try and the farther away from love I am, I will feel that my love may never come.
Tell you about my most memorable date of the year.
At that time, the two of us sat down to greet each other, and the standard procedure of the work industry of exchanging names was completed.
After I repeated "Haha, that's fine with you" for the 3rd time, I knew I couldn't shake off any more topics.
He and I looked at each other wordlessly, across an oily grilled fish, and the awkward eyes of both of us that had nowhere to rest fell on the weakening alcohol flame at the same time.
I smothered my head to play with the rice grains in my bowl, and there was only one thought in my head:
My love, like this fish, was cold.
The situation is becoming increasingly contradictory.
I kept meeting all kinds of men, and it seemed that my emotional life was colorful and colorful.
On the one hand, self-doubt increases as the number of failures increases.
Sometimes I even think, "According to my personality, can I only end up alone in this life?" ”
Of course, I also know that friends are kind, "If you don't grasp it any more tightly, there will be fewer good men in two years." ”
But the reality is that the single becomes a KPI, and age becomes a love hypnotic.
The most anticipated thing every day is the 8 hours of work, no need to meet, no awkward conversation.
Passively getting involved in the tide of love did not solve my love problems, but let the problem escalate.
The topic of love anxiety is also a cliché.
To be honest, who hasn't pounced a few times in the tide of love ashore.
For @bananas, going ashore is to complete parental expectations.
For @Tina, going ashore is to get rid of the long window period.
And @ call me Xiao Chen, I feel that whether I go ashore or not has nothing to do with her now.
But in my opinion, the matter of falling ashore in love is itself a false proposition.
Lovers are divided and combined, and a relationship is at most a small jelly bean in life, but it cannot be an indispensable antidote in life.
And the people on the shore may not feel that this is the shore.
Of course, we can love and cry.
But you always have to understand that the solution to your life problems is not love, but yourself in a relationship.
Because this world is not a single or hellish place.
Interview / Never drink milk tea
Curated / Ginger Ginger
Visual / Richcat