Author | Pro-mom powder
Source | Dr. Phil Is a big and beautiful mother
Last night, I believe there were countless mother-in-law fans who were as excited as I was for Nathan Chen's perfect performance in the men's single skate. With confident eyes, a dashing smile, infinitely infectious dance steps, and the difficulty of I can't count how many times and how many laps I've jumped, this push by the Olympic Committee is the perfect description of his game: Out of this world.
The gold medal is precious, but the other Chinese player who did not win the medal and even had no choice but to withdraw from the competition was shining in a different way.
On Monday morning, The American team's Chinese figure skater Vicent Zhou announced his retirement because he tested positive for covid-19. The video of him announcing his retirement on Instagram, although he does not hide his disappointment and sadness about his situation, does not complain, does not collapse, does not cry about the injustice of fate, is proud of all his efforts, grateful for the people around him who have paid for him, declares that he will not be defeated by this setback, and will continue to work hard afterwards.
Everyone who has seen it is impressed and proud.
The replies under the video are full of praise for his true feelings and tenacity.
These two young generals, one with strength to usher in countless applause, the other in the face of danger and obstacles with sincerity and strength to inspire people. They are all Chinese-American players, all from ordinary working families, no luxury houses and luxury cars since childhood, and their parents work hard to cultivate them to pursue their respective interests with their older brothers and sisters.
Incidentally, Nathan Chen's sister Janice Chen, Ph.D. and UC Berkeley, is co-founder of Mammoth Bioscience, and would be interested to check out her 2018 TedTalk on CRISPR Diagnostics. Vincent Zhou's sister Vivian Zhou, a graduate of MIT, is also a violin and diving scholar.
Returning to the topic of figure skating, although they are both Chinese, they have different song selection and choreography styles.
Nathan Chen's short program is based on the famous French song La Bohème, and the choreography combines European artistic temperament and rigidity. Free Skating uses Elton John's Rocket Man (a song inspired by a novel set in the future, featuring astronauts who travel to and from the universe as their daily job). Wearing a starry sky patterned shirt, his frequent and difficult jumps really seem to be completed only by escaping the gravity of the earth, and the precise fit of music and dance steps is like telling the elegance and freedom in space.
This series unreservedly shows his love and inheritance of Chinese culture as a Chinese.
(Another Chinese-American figure skater, Karen Chen, also chose the famous Chinese song "Liang Zhu" as the soundtrack in the team competition.)
These two Chinese players, no matter how different the selection of songs, dress, and choreography styles, the world sees:
Black hair, black eyes, yellow skin, superb skills, mature and stable mentality, friendly and confident smile, tenacious character, humble and polite conversation.
This is the light of the Chinese.
However, it is not difficult to imagine that some people will find it difficult to associate the concept of "American" (or British, French, German, Australian, Japanese, etc.) when they see the appearance of Chinese and learn about the Chinese ancestry of others. I always feel that the Chinese should represent or be loyal to the Chinese country. What's more, Nathan Chen and Vicent Zhou's feelings for Team Usa are described as kneeling licks, feeling that they are betraying their own ethnicity or a certain country.
Because of the confusion of various concepts and expectations, the identity of Chinese living overseas has always been a tangled issue for themselves and their children. The understanding of this topic is also a long and ever-changing process.
It's a topic I've always wanted to talk about. In addition to being moved in the past few days, it seems that I have seen this topic full of doubts and entanglements, which can have very positive results, just like Nathan Chen and Vicent Zhou at the Winter Olympics.
But to be clear, this article doesn't discuss COVID-19 policy; it doesn't discuss figure skating levels, grades, and medals.
As an overseas Chinese, as a mother with children of Chinese descent, this article only wants to talk about the identity of overseas Chinese children.
Regarding the identity of overseas Chinese, the perfect state in our minds is:
Both Chinese and Western eat, and both cultures accept and understand.
Just like you like to eat apples, I like to eat oranges, as long as we like to eat both apples and oranges, isn't it perfect? You use knives and forks, I use chopsticks, our overseas Chinese children can use both knives and forks and chopsticks, is there any problem?
The problem, however, is that reality is not so perfect. The political systems, social systems, laws and regulations in different societies, as well as the values and outlook on life that are admired by most people in society, may be very different. And not all of the collisions encountered in these categories can be resolved through peaceful coexistence.
For example, Americans generally believe that:
- Commenting, criticizing, or challenging social events and political issues, and publicly criticizing politicians and the political and legal system that they are not satisfied with in order to seek change, is a manifestation of responsibility and patriotism;
- The broad understanding of society is that different voices help to expose problems and improve institutions;
- The U.S. Constitution also states that it is the duty of citizens to pay attention to politics, understand the system, and participate in comments and votes.
So both news programs and social networks are full of criticism and debate about social events and political issues. Young people are at the forefront of criticism.
However, some other societies generally see negative evaluations as insults and ridicule, fearing that different voices can lead to regression and division. So making a negative comment, or even liking a negative report, can be considered insulting and should be condemned and resisted.
If, as a first-generation immigrant, there are two very different systems and values behind us, then how to choose, how to choose, how to transition, this is an inescapable problem.
When we, especially our children, are faced with incompatible choices or are not black and white, we will more or less go through a process of growing up, thinking", "Who am I?" "Where do I belong?" "Who am I loyal to?" in the process of thinking about these questions, it is difficult to determine one's identity because of one's Chinese ancestry, called Identity crisis.
As a first-generation immigrant, the most central questions include: We are
- "Chinese nationals who live in the Chinese US" or
- Americans with Chinese athnicity and cultural background?
Our children, yes
- Half American half American (half American Chinese)?
- Or was China nationals born in the Chinese US?
- Or Chinese Americans. (Chinese-American)?
Parents think clearly about similar issues, so that it is easy to clarify the expectations of their children on the issue of ethnicity and identity.
This is not to persuade everyone to guide children to identify with a certain identity or a certain value, after all, everyone has their own choices. I just want to use this to sort out some concepts that are usually easy to mix.
Hope to help parents in the chat with their children, when talking, can help children sort out their thinking, make their own judgments.
1
Multiple definitions of Identity
In life, each of us has multiple definitions of identity, can be a daughter, wife, mother, from Guangdong Province, xx university graduates, xx professions, photography enthusiasts, foodies, fitness maniacs, currently living in Los Angeles, xxx brand / star fans, used to using Windows is not used to Apple.
We embrace these intertwined and complex definitions in ourselves, knowing that they will not interfere with each other, and no one will question one of them with the other. Nobody's going to say, "I know you like spicy food, so you're definitely not From Cantonese!", and no one's going to say, "You don't use IMac with surface, you definitely prefer Seattle to California."
However, when it comes to the definition of identity of ethnicity and the state, the boundaries of the various concepts are often blurred and blurred. The various comments we hear about Chinese children include:
- Your parents are Chinese, and of course you are Chinese.
- Heck, you're Chinese how can Chinese be unfavorable?
- Alas, Chinese children do not have the opportunity to come into contact with traditional Chinese virtues abroad.
- I don't like to take Chinese food to school for lunch, how can I hate myself so much.
- Xxx athletes, all use Chinese songs to compete, why not represent China to compete, dress!
- Aren't you an American, and what qualifications do you have to comment on China?
What exactly does It mean to be Chinese?
Is Chinese equivalent to Chinese?
Who do Chinese need to be loyal to?
Before answering the above questions, let's take a look at what concepts we are all likely to encounter:
Race: Determined by blood, it is related to physiological characteristics such as skin color, hair color, and eye color. (Not limited by geographical location or country.) A country can include people of many ethnicities, and people of one ethnicity are already distributed in many countries and regions.)
Ethnicity: A group determined by race and related culture, social background, beliefs, etc.
Nation: A group of people with clear national boundaries, common language, culture, law, and social customs governed by a government.
Government: The governing body of a country
Citizenship: A person's legal qualifications as a national or citizen of a particular State, indicating a fixed legal link between a person and a particular State, and is the legal basis for the exercise of the State's jurisdiction ratione personae and the right of diplomatic protection. Can be changed, or can have multiple at the same time.
Citizen: A legal identity belonging to a country that is subject to the laws of that country, enjoys legal rights, and assumes obligations.
National: A national who is the legal status of a country that is subject to the laws of that country and does not necessarily enjoy all legal powers or is required to assume all prescribed obligations.
Resident: The status of residence in a country that is subject to the laws of that country.
Don't think that the children don't care about these Oh, our children talked to their classmates about their ethnicity at school, and repeatedly let me explain these concepts for half a day.
Based on the above concepts, the following frequently asked questions are easy to figure out:
2
About "Which Country"
When we most often say that I am Chinese/American, I mean nationality.
Whether or not I can say " I am both a national of X and a country of Y " is entirely determined by whether dual citizenship is legally allowed in that country.
For example, my sister-in-law (American) and her husband (Briton) have children born in the UK who are legally both American and British. Because both Britain and the United States allow dual citizenship.
But children born to Chinese parents in the United States can only be "Chinese-American" or "100% Chinese", and cannot be "both American and Chinese", because China does not allow dual citizenship.
So when a child says I am 100% American, he means his own nationality and citizenship, which does not mean denying his race (Asian) nor denying his own ethnic culture (Chinese culture), which is completely fine.
3
About "Patriotism"
Children who grow up in the United States do not equate patriotism with love for the government, and even often feel that criticizing the government is the expression of patriotism, because pointing out deficiencies will make progress and the country will become better.
So we often see people dressed in red, white and blue singing the national anthem while cursing the US president and the US government. For them, criticizing the government of the country does not mean not loving the country, let alone insulting the country.
This is not difficult for children to understand, after all, the parents who love them the most, in order to guide their healthy growth, there is no lack of supervision and criticism of them. Applaud when done well, point out mistakes if done badly, and explore ways to improve, both for families and for countries.
So for them, loving America is not the same as loving the current president and government of the United States. In the same way, their fondness for another country does not mean that they like the government or leaders of that country.
4
Is love of the United States and love of China conflict?
If the relationship between the two countries is cordial and friendly, everyone generally does not feel that there is anything wrong with loving both country X and Y congress.
But what about when there are many contradictions between the two governments? As an overseas Chinese, can you only choose one country to love?
Let's look again at the definition of "state": a group of people with clear national boundaries, common languages, cultures, laws, and social customs governed by a government. In the previous pile of definite words, the main word is "group". That is to say, the subject of the definition of the state is the individual, as well as the language, culture, and so on of this group.
As I said, Chinese children don't think that patriotism = love for the government. They love America, they love the people around them, they love the school, they love the stadiums and parks in the community, they love the beaches of Miami, they love the Grand Canyon, they love fries, they love fried chicken coke, they love football, they love YouTube videos, and they love the various social habits and behaviors they are familiar with.
For the country where their parents were born, they know that there are grandparents who love themselves, there are delicious roast duck sugar gourd sugar roast meat mooncake roast goose and egg boys, they know that even China's McDonald's choices are more than the United States, there are favorite music love to watch variety shows. These are enough to make overseas Chinese children have the most natural love for China.
So do their classmates who love America clash with their grandmothers?
Does loving a hamburger conflict with loving roast duck?
Is love the Grand Canyon conflicting with loving the Forbidden City?
Apparently not.
5
Traditional Chinese virtues and cultural inheritance
Overseas Chinese children, it is estimated that the most said sentence by their fathers and villagers is: Unfortunately, there is no opportunity to contact traditional Chinese virtues and culture.
So let's take a look at what exactly is missing from Chinese children.
Let's take a look at the specific content of traditional Chinese virtues:
Benevolence and filial piety, humility and courtesy, honesty and honesty, loyalty to the country, self-denial, self-cultivation and prudence, seeing righteousness, thrift and honesty, being honest and generous, and having courage and perseverance.
Let's compare the values of the Western tradition
Aristotle advocated "virtue," and he further explained that each virtue is the "middle way" between the two extremes of over and over. Take the first "courage", insufficient courage is cowardice and timidity, and too much courage is reckless, which is not advisable.
Let's look again at the virtues of Christian doctrine
It also embodies the Middle Way proposed by Aristotle
From this point of view, the list of virtues in these Chinese and Western countries has a high degree of overlap, and the biggest difference is that there is no article on "loyalty to the country" in Western virtues. (Of course, the definition of "country" in China and the West is different from the definition of the object of "loyalty"))
Primary schools in the United States have been teaching moral education throughout the year since K. For example, the schools in our school district take "citizenship, trustworthy, fairness, caring, responsible, respectful" as the focus of moral education, focusing on learning and exercising one of them every month, and there are various cooperative exercises.
There are also virtue education activities on various themes. For example, last month, Xiaomei School studied Kindness, and one of the day's activities was to ask each child in the class to find a classmate who usually rarely played together and didn't talk much, and said hello to each other in the past, and praised each other. It is also necessary to be descriptive and targeted praise.
So grandparents and grandparents on the other side of the globe, really don't worry about your grandchildren missing out on virtue education.
There is no need to worry about the loss of other Chinese cultural traditions overseas.
Whatever
- Chinese cuisine (Chinese restaurants in Vancouver are no less authentic Than the most authentic Chinese food in Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong, and overseas Chinese are superb in Chinese cooking)
- Musical films (in addition to Hollywood's Chinese actors, There is also a Chinese singer-songwriter in Malaysia who can compete with Beyond),
- Festival celebration (Spring Festival has been listed as an official holiday in many regions and school districts in the United States), still
- Literary works (overseas publishing houses not only distribute Chinese books, but also various books introducing Chinese cultural traditions to people of all nationalities in various countries),
These are not only preserved to the maximum extent in overseas Chinese society, but also continue to be carried forward.
6
Nationality, allegiance, patriotism and nationalism
Finally, it's time to talk about the most controversial topic: who to be loyal to
In fact, it is not difficult to explain, from a legal point of view,
The citizens of any country are loyal to which country.
But loyalty is not the same as praise, nor is it the same as brainless support for the government and policies of this country. Look at the young Americans who marched on the streets in two directions for three days, and they are the best examples.
But in times of peace, loyalty to one country should not be the same as opposition to another.
Patriotism is embracing and being loyal to one's own country and wanting one's country to become better. But patriots also understand that the citizens of other countries are loyal to their country, that they contribute to the country, and that they also want to work to make the country better. My country can prosper through our methods, and I am glad that your country has become prosperous in your way.
Only narrow nationalism identifies only with those who contribute to their own country and denigrates those who work for other countries. Only narrow nationalism wants its own country to be strong and happy, while cursing the development and progress of other countries.
Unfortunately, like patriotism across the globe, narrow nationalism has blossomed. We can be victims or perpetrators.
Therefore, parents, while guiding their children to be patriotic, pay attention to explaining the difference between the two to their children. Only in this way can we cultivate young people with broad vision and a broad heart.
7
The Chinese stage
The Chinese nation has been up and down for five thousand years. In the long course of history, dynasties have changed, talents have emerged, and Chinese people have migrated to various parts of the world for various reasons. There is also Singapore, an emerging Chinese country from scratch, to become one of the economic centers of Asia. With the globalization of recent decades, the number and achievements of overseas Chinese in various continents and countries cannot be ignored more and more.
The Chinese who came to the United States more than a hundred years ago were ridiculed and insulted as coolies. Today's Nathan Chen, who represented the United States on the highest podium of the Olympic Games, was praised and admired by all the news media, becoming a role model for thousands of American teenagers.
More than twenty years ago, we listened to Sun Yanzi's songs and were intoxicated by it; watching Zhang Depei's game, cheering for it.
Last year, people from all over the world flocked to the cinema to watch Liu Simu, Awkwafina, and Liang Chaowei co-starring in Shangqi, and the praise was overwhelming.
In the United States during the epidemic, whether it is a company or a school, it has benefited from The Zoom founded by Eric Yuan (a graduate of Shandong University of Science and Technology, inspired by Bill Gates' speech in Beijing, came to work in Silicon Valley, was denied a visa nine times, and the English language was not good at first). This well-known video conferencing tool in the United States has helped people greatly reduce the impact of the epidemic on education and the economy through distance learning and remote work. Eric Yuan was also named 2020 Businessperson of the Year by Time Magazine.
These are the pride of the Chinese, but also the result of the changes of the times - the Chinese stage, the Chinese audience, the supporters and collaborators behind the Chinese, are no longer limited to a certain ethnic group in a certain region.
These also let us see that whether it is ourselves, or our children, no matter where we are, what language we speak, what kind of food we love to eat, which country we have, as long as we are black eyes, black hair and yellow skin, strive to be the best of ourselves, contribute to the society we live in, honest, kind, sincere and humble to the people around us, is the best Chinese identity.
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