10 passages that make you laugh until your stomach hurts

1, the girlfriend is pregnant, she refuses to want, must be beaten, the boyfriend does not agree, asked her why she had to beat up, she said: "Bao, the child is not yours I don't want." ”

2, outside the window, a little rain poured down, her eyes stared at me, "See the parents." I couldn't help but shudder, it was the first time she had said such a thing to me after knowing me for so long, and I had tears in my eyes, slightly choked up, and tentatively asked, "Isn't it a little early?" As a result, she was actually a little excited: "Dare to bargain!" "You haven't turned in your homework for two days!" Call the parents! ”

3, just in the public toilet on the large, crouched down to find that the back of the phone is dirty, so it blew, I heard the brother in the pit next door said: Brother, this hot mouth ah? ”

4, in the summer, I was walking on the street wearing a skirt, suddenly the skirt was blown up by the wind, I screamed, one hand covered my face, the other hand went to pull the skirt corner, at this time, a man on the other side just walked by without doing anything... He didn't even look at me, what a pervert!

5, my mother came to the Internet café to catch me, I hurriedly stared at the screen seriously to play the game, my mother often said that serious men are the most handsome, I will definitely be handsome to my mother does not know me.

6. Now that I think about it, there was some truth in not allowing women to become officials in ancient times, just imagine interrogating prisoners, and the female officials asked the prisoners: "Do you know the crime?" The prisoner said: The adult and the little man have been wronged, what has the little man done wrong?" The female officer reflexively continued: "Hum you are not wrong, where can you be wrong?" ”

7, walking with my wife at night, seeing a pair of lovers coming from the opposite side, the girl is super beautiful, the man is super frustrated, I can't help but look down and sigh: "Alas, good cabbage let the pig arch!" Unexpectedly, when my wife heard me, she gave me a slap: "Don't scold yourself for being a pig!!! ”

8, Xiaoming is often bullied by classmates in school, bullied by classmates in the morning, and will be bullied by other classes after school, so one day he secretly brought a rope, ran to a wilderness, hung the rope on a tree, and then... Sitting on it and swinging on the swing, the mood is much better.

9, a friend of mine last year a fortune teller said that this year's murderer Peach Blossom, will be a woman who suddenly appeared very deeply hurt, yesterday he was hit by a big mother riding an electric car on the way home, and the current address is still lying in the hospital.

10, the roommate met with me to complain, saying that he always had night sweats some time ago, sweated when he fell asleep, went to the hospital for hundreds of examinations, and later found an old Chinese medicine doctor to prescribe a lot of Chinese medicine, drinking it did not work. I asked, "How did it get cured?" I obviously saw the corners of my roommate's mouth twitching, and indignantly said, "I changed into a thin quilt." ”