"Growing up" and "growing up" are two different concepts!

"Growing up" and "growing up" are two different concepts.

Growing up is arguably the easiest thing in the world, as long as time doesn't stop, we can age, gain weight, physical aging...

But growth is not the same, in addition to natural growth, we refer more to psychological growth, cognitive growth, ability growth, and so on.

Growing up is not necessarily really growing, because growth has nothing to do with age, and there is no end, for example, when I reach this age, I still have to grow, and I still have to learn new knowledge and new wisdom every day.

Why?

Man does not come into this world to enjoy. In the long river of life, we will encounter all kinds of difficulties and dilemmas, and many people face the conditions of falling behind others from the moment of birth.

In life, you will even encounter the darkest moments of life, as if all the darkness and dissatisfaction in the world are in you...

For all this, we have to admit that life is what it is. And what we need to know is that the only thing that can pull you out and make you change your predicament is to grow up desperately.

Even if you fall and fail in the middle, as long as you continue to grow, you can always get up. As long as we continue to grow, as long as we work hard, as long as we have enough time, each of us can change our destiny and make our lives better.

First, the wrong perception of growth

One concept I wanted to clarify: what exactly is not growth?

First, do different things on the same level.

For example, today you do administration, tomorrow you do manpower, and the day after tomorrow you do the market, but you always work at the same level, always at the grassroots level or always be directed by others.

No matter what different work you do, but because you don't have to use your brain, you can't learn the real experience and the wisdom you have really accumulated in your work, and even if you do different things, it is not a concept of growth.

Some people do change multiple jobs in their lives, and some even change more than a dozen jobs, but they are not really interested in this job, nor do they continue to dig deeper in this work to become experts in this area, but frequently change jobs, this thing has nothing to do with growth.

Second, working in different geographies is not necessarily a concept of growth.

For example, some people work hard in Shanghai for two years, go to Beijing for two years, and then run to Shijiazhuang for two years, although you meet different people in different cities, it does not necessarily mean your growth. Growth is a kind of connotation improvement.

Third, do everything at the same level of thinking.

People will grow old, but some people's thinking ability and thinking ability will not be improved, will not be improved. You will find that some people have lived in a narrow, paranoid, stubborn self-consciousness all their lives, and some people will always insist that their views and opinions are correct, and others are always wrong.

In this way, it is maintained at the same, even one-way level of thinking, no matter how many jobs are changed or no matter how many environments he changes, because the thinking ability is not improved, which means that the problem will never become more acute or more transparent, more tolerant, and more pluralistic to think about the problem, which means that it has not actually grown.

Fourth, stay in your comfort zone.

In fact, many people can feel the state of the comfort zone, and it is not easy for many people to get out of the comfort zone after they walk into the comfort zone of life.

The so-called warm boiled frog, unconsciously slowly in the process of comfort zone, you may lose the fighting spirit, or lose the desire to extend outwards, lose a state of your willingness to accept the challenge, expand the new dimension of your life or a new life horizon.

Many of us have the wrong feeling, am I changing jobs, going to college, traveling, changing the work environment, the city, is it even if I have grown?

Of course, this thing may bring you a lot of opportunities to grow, but these behaviors themselves are not necessarily a sign of growth.

Whether you can grow from one thing or not, in fact, comes entirely from this thing, what kind of goal you want to have, what kind of appeal you want. Man is such an animal who is led by goals and aspirations and desires, so this is very important.

Second, the "three senses" of life and two major abilities

I often say that there are "three senses" in life: knowledge, insight, and courage.

1. Knowledge

Man's life consists of the development of knowledge and the development of wisdom. The knowledge is that we started with 1 plus 1 equals 2 in elementary school and learned the most difficult courses in college. The accumulation of knowledge allows us to acquire better thinking skills and to receive deeper educational skills.

In the process of learning, whether it is reading or listening to lectures, we are constantly improving our thinking ability and making ourselves smarter.

Smart is not a high score on the exam, a high score on the exam is a kind of utilitarian intelligence, and true intelligence is the understanding of things in the world, the understanding of how to achieve better success and achievement in the world.

In general, the improvement of knowledge is a dimension of growth, which is also a purpose of our reading and learning.

2. Insight

Insight is sometimes not necessarily related to knowledge and can be separated.

Many Chinese entrepreneurs only have junior and high school education, but they can make the enterprise very large. Many PhD graduates have instead collapsed their businesses, and these are related to insight rather than just knowledge.

In my case, my mother died, and I posted an article online reminiscing about my mother that got hundreds of thousands of hits.

My mother, though uncultured, was an insightful person who knew where her children should go in the future.

So when I was a child, she asked me to study, to go to high school, to go to college, which is the best growth path that a rural woman can give to her children, and my mother's insight has made me what I am today.

Of course, the more knowledgeable you are, in principle, the more knowledgeable you should be, and if in the end the more knowledgeable you become, the less insightful you are, it will be a very troublesome thing - such as a nerd.

3. Courage

Courage is whether you dare to break through yourself, bravely do something you have never done before, throw yourself into it, and jump in.

But the world has no one-size-fits-all solution, and there is no 100% guarantee system that allows you to jump without any loss, so it is an option.

We can't take a leap from high school to college, because we know that we can learn more knowledge than high school in college, and undergraduate graduation, master's and doctoral degrees cannot be regarded as leaps forward.

The real jump is that when you jump in, you may lose your sense of security or even lose. But once the choice is right, it can lead to great success in this kind of thing it's called a jump.

4. Two major capabilities

Whether you can have knowledge, insight, and courage involves your vision, mind, level, pattern, and thinking ability to see things, and involves your ability to move space and gather resources.

Activity space ability refers to your ability to make your radius larger, which means that you may encounter a little more opportunities.

After the activity space is large, the ability to gather resources will naturally become stronger and stronger, and these interpersonal and social relationships will become very important resources in life.

3. 8 signs of growth

Growth is mature and not sleek, sophisticated but not sophisticated, enterprising without reckless, decisive and not stupid, ordinary and not mediocre, exploring without being confused, lonely and not alone, failure without discouragement, and so on.

People's growth is not afraid of danger, and the ability to cope with various things is an external sign of growth.

1. Mature without sleekness

Maturity is to do things thoughtfully and take care of the interests of all people; tact is that all behavior is based on self-protection and selfishness.

2. Sophisticated and unworldly

If a person no longer adheres to his principles and values after reaching the age of thirty or forty, and no longer insists on considering problems from a just and equitable standpoint, this is not sophisticated, but sophisticated.

3. Be enterprising and not reckless

People need to be enterprising.

To make progress is to make a leap forward under the premise of thinking correctly about the problem, or basically grasping the direction of future progress, and knowing what consequences this road will bring to oneself if it does not work.

4. Be decisive and not stupid

Stupidity is acting decisively, but without thinking through the brain.

Decisiveness sometimes occurs in several situations: one is the same as the crowd; the other is stubborn.

It may seem decisive and aggressive on the surface, but it's a fool's errand because he doesn't really think about the impact of what he does on everything around him, including people and society.

5. Ordinary and not mediocre

Being a person can be ordinary, simple, and simple, but it cannot be mediocre. Mediocrity is the idea of not using one's brain to improve one's life, willingly falling into laziness or confusion.

Ordinary is just a mentality, I can not wear brand-name clothes, live in a small house, do not buy a car, but the middle of the heart is still in the pursuit of a better future and life in the future.

6. Explore without being confused

Confusion is not knowing the southeast, northwest, or even where the direction is, and not having the will to explore.

7. Lonely and not alone

People can enjoy a lonely life, and a lonely life can have a lot of thinking. But loneliness is feeling alone, as if the whole world is alone, unaccompanied.

8. Failure will not discourage

Many people are easily discouraged and give up when they encounter difficulties, which is a sign of immaturity. There are all kinds of hardships, hardships, setbacks and misfortunes in the world.

Your attitude affects whether your life will ascend in the future or continue to be in different states of low-level suffering.

Growth is a constant search for the depth, height, and meaning of life.

Man has only one life, and the causes and conditions converge to form us, but when the candle burns out, the fire is extinguished and gone. Because of this, we should cherish every day in life more and make every day more exciting, fulfilling, happy and joyful.

Fourth, grow 6 keywords

In the middle of thinking about life, I think that if a person wants to grow, there are mainly a few keywords: thinking, choosing, goals, actions, enterprising, and challenging.

1. Think

I think the most important thing is to think. Our initial growth was arranged by others, such as from kindergarten to primary and secondary school, in a sense, arranged by our parents, because at that time we did not have the ability to think independently.

However, once we enter the university, the ability to think independently becomes an essential ability to grow. Because you have to understand in life, what you really like the most, what major you should choose, what depth you should learn, what kind of career you will engage in in the future, what kind of friends and objects to look for, and what kind of books are more beneficial to your growth...

Only after you think can you choose forward, and it is impossible for you to have a choice without even thinking.

2. Select

After thinking about it, we should make a choice and decide which direction to go, but one choice is equal to one abandonment. If you choose to live in Shanghai, you can't live in Beijing at the same time; if you choose to start a business, you can't work in other companies at the same time.

The selection is actually discarded and the resulting synchronization is made. As mentioned earlier, we have to think about the choice of leaping forward to be particularly complete. But you can't think about it before, look ahead, and finally simply don't choose, not choosing is the worst choice in life.

If you are dissatisfied with the status quo and do not choose to change, this is the most tragic situation in life.

3. Goals

For me, I feel that purpose in life has always been a force that drives me forward. The goal can come from a strong desire for something in the heart, or from some kind of stimulus or temptation on the outside.

If you are asked to hike 20 kilometers and you get nothing when you are done, or if you are told that after you are finished, there is a roast whole lamb or a bottle of fine wine waiting for you, it may prompt you to be more willing to act. This roasted whole lamb or a bottle of fine wine is in a sense the goal.

Sometimes the goal is plain, and sometimes the goal is meaningful. Life goals it's always changing, but it gets you to take action.

4. Action

If there is no action in life, then all dreams are daydreams. Acting is like a sport, you will feel tired at first, but gradually get involved in it and slowly gain fun.

Once you take action, you have a sense of participation, and slowly you will find that it is very uncomfortable not to act. Laziness and diligence are both a habit. We often say that a person who is diligent will be very tired, and a person who is lazy will not be tired, but this is not the case. As long as diligence is not excessively desperate and excessive consumption of itself, it will bring vitality.

5. Enterprising

Enterprising is not a one-time thing, it is a daily thing, and a little progress every day is a huge progress in a lifetime.

Let's not hope that a miracle happens, that no one can do it overnight. All miracles are the result of accumulation over time.

6. Challenges

The challenge is to be unafraid of failure and to look for opportunities in the middle of failure. There is a saying that "failure is a valuable asset for those who really have the quality to succeed". But failure is a pure failure for the loser.

Whether what happens in the middle of our lives means to us or doesn't mean anything to us depends on the attitude you take towards life in the face of these things.

5. Summary

Regarding growth, the most important thing is these 4 elements:

First, growth is a personal choice, not about him, or even about the surrounding environment in a sense, the most important thing is the personal choice.

Second, growth is an intentional act, not subconscious growth, nor natural growth, we are not animals and plants, we must be intentional.

Third, growth requires us to make efforts, and if we do not work hard and do not progress, we certainly cannot grow.

Fourth, growth is a price for us, because you can't grow without abandoning what you used to be, and even some of the things you have.

This article is excerpted from "Yu Minhong: My View of Growth"

Co-ordination | Zhu Rongyu

Audit | Yang Xiaoxuan

Editor-in-charge | Zhao Haonan, Jia Yuange

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