This is an old article, today Huang Xiaoming officially announced the divorce, I just turned to this article, I will re-post it. After all, Huang Xiaoming's Mingxue had also set off a wave at the beginning! ————Yuzu Mom
"Chinese Restaurant" Huang Xiaoming is on fire, continuing his domineering president in the TV series, and also spawning a new discipline - "Ming Xue", classic quotations are bullet after bullet.
Huang Xiaoming's Mingxue made the small partners in front of the TV set very angry, bluntly following such a leader and resigning in minutes. Let's first review, what are Huang Xiaoming's explicit words?
01
Make a small inventory
Speaking of Mingxue, we have to mention this deeply rooted sentence "I don't want you to feel, I want me to feel", which is also the sentence that best represents the essence of Mingxue.
I don't want you to feel, I want me to feel
When Huang Xiaoming first said this sentence, he did not look so abrupt.
The cause is that Yang Zi's hand was squeezed by the table, a little bruised, Yang Zi said that he smeared some ointment, Huang Xiaoming said that he must go to the hospital, which was the first time he said this sentence "I don't want you to feel, I want me to feel."
At first glance, it is indeed the style of the domineering president, reflecting the concern for the small subordinates, and everyone is quite happy to hear this sentence.
But in the later period, this sentence appeared more and more frequently, and the personality of the domineering president became more and more stable, but the expression of everyone hearing this sentence became more and more elusive.
It's your problem, not mine, you have to solve it
The manager is naturally responsible for the success or failure of the operation of the Chinese restaurant. However, a few days before the opening of the Chinese restaurant, professional chef Lin Shuwei worked in the kitchen one-stop, from cutting vegetables and washing vegetables to stir-frying, and finally brushing dishes and washing dishes, which eventually led to slow dishes and long waiting time for guests.
As a result, Huang Xiaoming did not reflect on the problem of personnel scheduling, but mercilessly threw the pot to Chef Lin, "Today's slow cooking is your problem, not my problem, you must solve." ”
Don't make a fuss, just like that, listen to me
In order to solve the problem of slow cooking, Huang Xiaoming learned the set menu idea when Zhao Wei was the store manager in the first season, but everyone opposed the single set menu and advocated the table set.
Huang Xiaoming is still stubborn to push the single package. When everyone was still discussing, President Huang ended the discussion with a sentence, "Don't make trouble, just like this, listen to me." Suddenly, a brainstorm subsided and a busy business day was ushered in.
My fault okay? My fault
Huang Store Manager has not always been so domineering, he will also admit mistakes, but the attitude of admitting mistakes is really difficult to say. All I can say is that if my husband is so wrong, I will let him kneel durian.
Looking at Huang Xiaoming's performance in the Chinese restaurant this season, there are sharp netizen comments, there is no Huang Xiaoming suppressed by Zhao Wei, just like Su Daqiang who died his wife.
If you encounter a domineering president of Huang Xiaoming's style at work, you can also resign, but if you have parents of a domineering president, it is a miserable word.
Parents are naturally leaders, and many people face their children, in fact, they want To be as domineering and narcissistic as Huang Xiaoming, which is incomprehensible. If you don't believe it, you can look at the performance of the following parents, is it Huang Xiaoming's possession?
02
Parents who are possessed by Huang Xiaoming, have you found them?
The child comes home and sits in his familiar toy area, wanting to play with the toys for a while.
The mother who was cooking in the kitchen glanced at the child in her busy schedule, and the child fell through, "I know how to play, is the homework done, is the homework reviewed, hurry up and write the homework." In the face of his mother's aggressiveness, the child obediently put away the half-deformed toy and picked up the homework.
In this case, you should not have said it less, a sentence that looks ordinary, in fact, there is no difference from Huang Xiaoming's Mingxue.
"Mingxue" parents' words
Huang Xiaoming will say in the face of different opinions, "Don't make trouble, just like this, listen to me", and the mother who lets the child write homework is not it.
Why can't you ask the child what his plan is, whether he wants to write his homework or play with the toy first, but directly decide for the child, just like that, listen to me.
Huang Xiaoming's one-word hall makes everyone look at the fire, Yang Zi can also make a grimace, Xiao Kai can still argue according to reason, but in the face of the parents' one-word hall, the child is particularly weak and small, and it is also particularly well-behaved, and can only obey.
After all, in the Chinese restaurant, their daily salary of 8 euros has no impact on their lives, but for children, parents are real parents, and they can't afford to offend.
And thin mud, no principles
Manager Huang is a contradictory existence, sometimes overbearing, sometimes unprincipled.
The Chinese restaurant has just opened, the poor jingle, Chef Lin and Qin Hailu are not very happy because of the procurement, and the manager of the Huang store is pampering Chef Lin, buying and buying without principle, while perfunctorily letting Qin Hailu pay.
The behavior of the store manager and the thin mud is like a very unprincipled parent, who makes rules while personally breaking the rules.
Just told the child not to buy new toys, looking at the child with tears in his eyes, immediately soft-hearted, buy buy buy; just stipulated that you can only play half an hour of games a day, the child began to beg you again, then play.
Unprincipled and thin mud can only make children more and more lack of rules and boundaries.
Next is Mingxue's classic quote "I don't want you to feel, I want me to feel", which is particularly worth taking out separately, because the spread is too strong, strong enough to be used with learning.
"Mom, I don't want to go to kindergarten anymore, the big old man beat me." "Why did he only hit you and not others, what did you do?"
"Mom, I have a bit of a headache." "Do you have a headache? I see you don't want to go to school, make excuses. ”
Many parents, although they did not say Huang Xiaoming's words, the core meaning was the same.
If you think it doesn't work, I think it's the truth. You are young, you do not understand the sinister ways of the world, I have crossed more bridges than you have traveled, listen to your mother's right, I don't want you to feel, I want me to feel.
03
How not to be a domineering president-style parent
Parents who are possessed by Huang Xiaoming can only see Huang Xiaoming's domineering, but it is difficult to detect that they are already senior Mingxue experts.
Many of the words blurted out are subconscious, and all the thoughts in the mind are "I am good for you", but the child sounds full of domineering and unreasonable. How can you not be a domineering president-style parent?
Learn to think differently
Empathetic thinking can solve many problems in life. Young mothers like to complain about the parenting concepts of the older generation, and every young mother is estimated to have met a big mother who teaches you to add complementary foods to your children with "steamed bun dipping vegetable soup".
The big mother thought in her heart, you are too young, even if you know how to take children, I have brought up several, you know what. In the eyes of young mothers, it is an enthusiastic mother who does not know how to keep pace with the times, and even relies on the old to sell the old.
But when we face the child, we will also use the experience of the person who has come to tell him that it is right to listen to the mother, if you follow your ideas, you will make 1234 mistakes, do as the mother says, you will not make mistakes.
Listening to this familiar argument, is it like the big mother who is very bitter to persuade us to wear socks for our children?
The perspective and starting point of the individual are different, if a person does not even have the power to carry out his own ideas, then he will not have his own ideas in the future.
Only by thinking about problems from the child's point of view can we truly understand the child's thoughts. Just like taking a child to the mall, the child is always crying and anxious, and the adults are also very puzzling, why do children not like this dazzling toy world?
Crouching down to find that the child's field of vision, there is no toy at all, he can only see a line of legs, and from time to time will be touched by other people's bags.
Listen patiently and understand your child's voice
There is a very heartwarming little story where the child took two apples. The mother said to the child, "Give the mother one." After the child listened and took a bite of each of the two apples, the mother saw it and got a little angry, thinking how can the child do this?
But the mother did not get angry, but quietly looked at the child, the child raised an apple in his hand and handed it to the mother and said, "Mom, I just tasted it, this apple is sweeter." ”
If the mother hadn't controlled herself at the time, this heart-warming little story would have turned into a big fight. This also prompts us to wait patiently when we see that the child is unreasonable and makes you feel bad behavior, and ask the child why.
You will find that many of your child's behaviors may seem like troublemaking, but the starting point is good.
If you learn to listen, you will not make the same mistake as Huang Xiaoming, "Don't make trouble, listen to me, I have the final say."
You can decide, but the premise should be that you have listened to the opinions of others and made the final decision after comprehensive consideration.
Instead of not giving anyone a chance to suggest and discuss, just denying others, making dictatorial decisions.
Leniency and severity are combined, and appropriate adaptations are appropriate
In the process of children's growth, it is necessary for parents to guide the direction and formulate rules. Give the child freedom within the scope of the rules, involving the issue of principle, we can take a domineering president-style approach, all listen to me, I alone have the final say, I don't want you to feel, I want me to feel.
For example, in the child brushing teeth, car seats and other issues, we should insist that the child must perform, which is consistent with Mingxue. But the process of execution does not need to be learned, it can be more love and warmth.
Schopenhauer said it was more effective to take care of a person's emotional needs than to convince a person with reason.
For example, if a child doesn't want to brush his teeth, we can first meditate three times in our minds, I don't want you to feel, I want me to feel that the teeth must be brushed. Then, you can show your charming smile and start convincing people with virtue.
"Came over and brushed my teeth" "I don't brush"
"I don't care if you don't brush your teeth, but the bacteria in your teeth are happy, and you still have the candy you just ate in your teeth, which is just a feast for bacteria, and they may be happy to have a baby in your teeth." 」
"Then give birth, just right"
"Bacteria give birth to a baby, maybe your teeth are not enough, they will dig a hole in your teeth, then your teeth will hurt..."
"Brush my teeth quickly and brush away the bacteria"
The old ancestors once said, take its essence and discard its dross.
Although Huang Xiaoming's domineering president in "Chinese Restaurant" is not very pleasing, and MingXue is also a bit cruelly complained about, it must be admitted that a widely circulated discipline must be enduring because many people have resonance.
Just like someone complained, watching Huang Xiaoming's domineering performance in the Chinese restaurant, it was as if he saw his father.
The leader is unreasonable, we can fire him squid, but the father is unreasonable, and the children have no choice.
In the mirror of television, we can understand our own behavior by watching other people's stories.
Don't be a Huang Xiaoming-like parent, let your children have a good leader, in fact, it is not difficult to do, isn't it?
Like + watch, may each of us be a good parent for our children!