1. On the train, the man is alone in a soft bed, and a woman pushes the door in and inserts the door. Open your chest, scratch your hair and say: Give 5,000 yuan, otherwise shout that you are flirting with me. The man was stunned for a moment and took it from his bag

1. On the train, the man is alone in a soft bed, and a woman pushes the door in and inserts the door. Open your chest, scratch your hair and say: Give 5,000 yuan, otherwise shout that you are flirting with me. The man was stunned for a moment, took out a pen and paper from his bag and wrote: I am deaf and mute, what do you want to do? The woman took the pen and wrote down what she had just said on the paper. The man smiled and closed the note to open the door: You can go out.

2. After taking the English level 4 exam, a brother said to me with confidence: "I prepared for this exam for a whole night. Puzzled, I asked, "What?" Listened to it all night? He said with a straight face, I took out my ear all night for this listening test! "Broken, I feel like I've lost at the starting line, do I want to go to the exam??

3. The mother-in-law opened a beef soup shop, and the customers who often come to eat know that she knocks on the door, but the business is surprisingly good every day. Once I took a few classmates out to dinner, and after the meal, the classmates got up to check out and looked at the bills of more than 500 yuan. The classmate who invited the guest said to his mother-in-law: "Boss, you see we have ordered so many dishes, you can send something!" The mother-in-law smiled and said, "I sent you out, this is sincere enough!" ”

4. After the resignation of the original factory, I entered a listed company by relying on the relationship of my husband. During the noon break today, a group of classmates gathered to chat. A colleague said: "I really feel strange, there is a row on the car and it does not affect the start of the car, why are people so angry?" Another colleague came and said: "Your wife was kissed by someone else, and it does not affect the use of it again, what mood are you in?" "Then the two men got into a fight in the office!

5. Yesterday our boss came back from a business trip, saw the boss lady's slightly shrugged belly, and instantly became angry: I ran all day for our company, our family ran all day, you actually have other men, quickly say, who is this evil species? The lady boss suddenly cried bitterly and said: You are neurotic, this is the chapter... Originally, the boss lady wanted to say: This is the octopus ball support, but before the words are finished, I was knocked down by the boss!?

6. When I was 10 years old, I had mumps and my mother took me to the hospital. The doctor told my mother: Don't take the medicine without injections, and give me XIAN palm compresses when I get home. My mother didn't even pull out the thorn when she applied it to me, and told me that this is mainly to rely on stabbing to attack the poison to have a curative effect. That was called a miserable, after two weeks, my face was swollen even more severely, went to the hospital for a review, the doctor said: The thorn is going to be pulled out.?

7. On the first night of the wedding, the bride had already changed into a beautiful silk nightgown and lay on the bed. But an hour passed, and the groom was still well dressed and looking out the window, and the bride reminded him impatiently: "What's wrong?" He replied, "Go to sleep first!" Leave me alone, because my mom told me that tonight was the most wonderful night I could ever see, so now I don't want to waste any second of the night view. "Today I suddenly remembered a troublesome incident in that year, and I was anxious, asking a female colleague to borrow a thousand yuan, and I originally wanted to say: When I withdraw the money, I will pay you back." As a result, an excited speech was: When I have money, I will marry you. Without thinking about it, she agreed to it in one bite... Now when there was a quarrel, she took out an IOU and asked me to pay it back. I was surprised, why my private money can be found everywhere, a piece of paper I looked for 8 years and did not find !?? I went to the hospital to wash my teeth and saw the doctor seeing a young woman, next to her husband. The doctor said to her husband, "Your wife's teeth are not very good, in the future, pay attention not to drink ice water just after drinking hot water, hot and cold alternating too quickly is not good for teeth, and don't be too hard." "Someone brushes their teeth with hot and cold water at the same time????? At 9 p.m., my wife said, "My girlfriend has something to look for, and she won't come back to sleep at night." But the wife was wearing a slip dress, makeup, and perfume. I felt something was wrong and decided to sneak a stalker, and I saw her enter the man's house with my own eyes. Before 11 o'clock, the lights in the man's house were all turned off, I knocked directly on the door, and after opening the door, I saw two women and a man, I was confused! Playing mahjong three missing one does not call me!?? During the Spring Festival, female colleagues accompanied the director to drink, and the next day woke up, the director: "200,000 is enough?" Female clerk: "200,000 just want to send me away, what a joke." Director: "So what do you say?" Female clerk: "What else can I do?" Marry me, of course. "The director fainted in front of his eyes.?? When the little uncle was 33 years old, he finally found a girlfriend. The in-laws were so excited that they asked the little uncle to bring his girlfriend to the house to play. Today the little uncle took his girlfriend home, as soon as he entered the door, the little uncle introduced: This is my girlfriend! The girl smiled and said, "Hello uncle!" Auntie hello! The mother-in-law pointed to the shoe rack and shouted excitedly: Daddy, go to the refrigerator to get a pair of slippers! Then the father-in-law really went to the refrigerator to find it for half a day!?#Funny paragraph#"

8. The old man is a teacher, and he recently suspected his mother-in-law of smoking. So he tested his mother-in-law: "Do you know Yuxi?" The mother-in-law shook her head: "I don't know." The old man continued to ask, "Do you know the Yellow Crane Tower?" Mother-in-law: "I don't know." The old man: "Then Wang Laoji, you should always know, right?" The mother-in-law was horrified: "Is it true that Wang Laoji also smokes?" ”

 #Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #头条喜剧人 #