Flyers
[Ireland] Joseph O'Neill
Wang Zhe (translation)
Joseph O'Neill was born in Cork, Ireland in 1964 and grew up in Mozambique, South Africa, Iran, Turkey, and the Netherlands. Joseph O'Neill graduated from Gerdon College, Cambridge, majoring in law. He later worked as a commercial lawyer for a long time. He is the author of the novels "Life as It Is", "Breeze Blowing", "The Land of the Earth" and the documentary work "The Way of Black Blood". The Way of the Black Blood, a family history about the mysterious captivity of the author's grandfather and maternal grandfather during World War II, was selected by The New York Times as one of the most noteworthy books of the year.
1
After my accident, my wife Wiki wanted to meet with her good friends Pam and Becky, who were not only cautious, old-fashioned and amiable, so my wife wrote a letter to them:
Hi friends, can I drag you out for dinner on Wednesday? A little reminder – we have something we want to discuss with you.
That day I prepared meals — cucumber soup, roast chicken breast, and a lentil scallion salad. Cooking was originally a Wiki business, and I wasn't involved, but I've been stuck at home for months, and the kitchen has become a place to relax. It was during this time that something strange happened to my body.
Pam and Bey came that day at seven o'clock, and the illness made me small and thin, and they hugged me very gently. "He looks very young," Becky said to Wiki, "where is Molly?" ”
Our daughter, Molly, is five years old, and she spends the night with Maya, The Sister of Wiki, and Maya and Molly don't know what's going to happen, no one knows, not even my doctor.
As was my custom, I poured a glass of pure water for each of the people present. Without the slightest hesitation, Wiki said, "Something strange has happened. "This is the opening statement we have planned, and everyone knows that Wiki is a sane and sound person, without any deception and embarrassing black history. It was fitting that she had come to publish this incredible news. My lack of majesty is not because I was once an extraordinary fool, but because I was partly physically weak. Wiki says, "This matter is very sensitive and needs to be kept secret. ”
Becky exclaimed, "Wow. ”
Pam said, "If we're going to have a top-secret discussion, I'm going to sit down right away." ”
We sat around the table with Wiki and my wife said, "I don't know how to handle this. She pointed her finger at me, "He'll fly." ”
Our friends fell into a strange and panicked silence—as if what we were announcing was conversion to a certain religion. Then Pam laughed a few times and asked, "How do you fly?" ”
"Flying like a bird," Wiki emphasizes, "is flying." ”
"Like a bird," I interjected, "that's a bit of an overstatement. ”
Becky replied, "I can't imagine. ”
Wiki gave me a hint that I brought my laptop. Everyone turned to the screen, and I played a nine-second video clip that Wiki had recorded on her phone.
Pam said, "We'd like to see it again." ”
We all watched it twice, each time the same scene: I was suspended in the room, and then drifted from the kitchen to the window of the eleventh-floor apartment, my arm stretched defensively in front of my body, and reached out a hand to touch the ceiling, and the fragment ended.
Pam said, "It's also too realistic. ”
Becky said, "You know what this video reminds me of? Aunt Julie. ”
They didn't believe it, or couldn't understand what the eyes were seeing, and we had to perform it again. Wiki gave me a light kiss of encouragement because she knew I would be disgusted and embarrassed by what I was doing.
My toes hit the ground, and then I floated to the window I mentioned earlier. It was a clear night in February, and through the glass, you could see the skyscrapers of New York, dazzling and meaningless.
As I descended to the ground, our guests looked at each other in horror, and Becky covered her wide open mouth with her hand.
"We can't explain why this is, we can only think it's related to his illness," Wiki said. She suggested, "Shall we have some soup?" ”
The soup time was restored to a harmonious and pleasant atmosphere, we listened to Becky and Pam talk about the trip to Maine, and Wiki talked about Molly's recent situation and the adventures in kindergarten. We also talked about a few things about a boy named Andy, but now Andy is socially successful.
I can't fit into this kind of communication, and I can't be the subject of a conversation. When I say that Pam and Becky are our dear friends, what I really want to say is that they are just Wiki dear friends. Because of my relationship with Wikipedia, I came into contact with them.
I served a lentil salad. Becky picked up the fork, but stood up abruptly, "Now I'm a little overwhelmed," Becky said, "I'm really sorry." ”
As our guest was leaving, Pam pulled Wiki aside and instructed, "He needs insurance, and I'll email you back." ”
Three weeks ago, my body was fluctuating. I was sent out to buy hydrogen peroxide to clean up bathroom seams, and I jumped over a pool of melting snow—but I catapulted into a crosswalk in the distance, and a car coming from New York Avenue was about to turn, and I just jumped in front of the car, almost killing people. I immediately turned around and went home, very slowly and very gently. After sitting at home for a while, trying to calm myself down, I decided to try to jump again, but this time I hit the ceiling.
For the next two days, I lay almost entirely in bed, so frightened that I couldn't move. Fortunately, my presence did not attract the attention of others. In the end, I felt that I was just having powerful hallucinations (a side effect of my medication, no doubt), so I decided to go out again and complete my mission of buying a seam cleaner. To be on the safe side, I jumped with one foot and then took off again.
There was no way to solve it: I underwent a change, or a transformation. I'm not dreaming (although I never fly in my dreams). I can't tell Wiki right away. After I spent some time getting used to my new state of action (liftoff; hovering; landing), I confessed to Wiki the following week. My air movement seemed to be a sideways landing: scary, a little disgusting and unpleasant. Even after I received some simple spiritual mystical training and was able to adjust my speed and height, this feeling still existed. When suspended in the air, I always feel unnatural and lonely.
One night, when Molly was asleep, I overcame my fears and embarrassment and sat down next to Wiki and tried to tell what had happened to me. Of course, in order for her to believe this fact, I had to demonstrate it live. Language alone cannot effectively express this contradictory state of physical, biological, and real history. We don't know what to do, or we don't know how to treat me. We didn't discuss how to use this new potential. "I think it should be discussed with other people," Wiki said, "and Pam and Becky may be able to." "In the end my wife quickly put it into action. Ten minutes after hearing and seeing my epoch-making event, she asked me what else had happened that day.
I told her, "I've finally done a job. "I'm referring to a project that has tormented me for a long time. I was working on communications for a financial group, but I was foolishly involved in the drafting of the annual report, which was not easy to deal with because everything had to be done under the legal framework. I left the office due to an undiagnosed illness, but things didn't get any easier after that. Essentially, my job is to deal with all sorts of stupid things, including myself.
I was like a fool then, and I probably still am. The principle of foolism is that they are fools in the most powerful sectors. When we don't need them to be stupid, they are just right stupid. Even though I don't want to be a fool (which is frustrating for those involved). I realized that this peculiar feature had actually improved my intelligence. I used to listen respectfully to the Finance Minister, the CEO of a thriving business, and even a director who talks a lot, but now I think they've said enough. This is very enlightening. When you admit that this is a world that operates by a combination of strings, the world makes more sense. And once you realize the nature of stupidity (to reflect the relationship between a person and his position; to describe the gap between what should be understood and accomplished and what can actually be understood and done), you begin to realize the importance of the problem. Of course stupidity is not inevitable, nor is it the norm, but in the long run, it has always prevailed. Greenspan? In the end, he proved stupid. Obama? The whole day was coming to an end, and he didn't need to be too smart. A passer-by named Joe Schmo? Even more shocking stupidity.
2
The topic is very personal, a person who can fly is completely stupid, first of all, I think I am very stupid.
According to my logic (which is not too stupid in itself), I followed Pam's advice on insurance. Pam introduced me to a friend of hers, Naomi Patel, who has a small office at the Empire State Building, and Pam once introduced Naomi to the boutique. I made an appointment with Naomi, but Wiki hesitated and said, "I guess it will work." ”
It was the first time I'd walked out of the house since the last time I'd survived on New York Avenue, and Wiki had left work early, and she was holding my hand as we walked and got into the taxi. This is done so that I can always be stuck on the ground and also to show her love.
Naomi is the same age as us (Ben Four) and has a comfortable and excellent upbringing. Her office was on the seventy-sixth floor, with a view of the silver-gleaming Hudson River and the silver-gleaming New York Harbor. I wiped my glasses to see the scenery that appeared one after the other, and this ranked view reminds you of words like "silver" and "sacred."
Naomi had been listening to me and taking notes on a yellow tablet. When I finished, she put down her pen and took off her glasses, and she said to Wiki, "I wonder if I understand it correctly?" "Your husband," she checked her notes, looking a little sarcastic to me, "will it fly?" ”
"Uh... That's right," Wiki replied. She made an expression that we could all accept, an expression that implied that the insurance broker should have treated this eccentric husband with a little humor. We didn't want the agents to believe that I was a real astronaut.
Naomi Patel said, "This is so abnormal. She continues, "I've been through a lot of high-risk activities — skydiving, wing flying, real extreme sports — but it's never been like you." ”
She pondered for a moment and calculated whether my situation would generate a commission and how much work would be involved. You can literally see the addition and subtraction equation symbols emerge from Naomi's forehead and mouth in layers. Or maybe she was thinking about how to kick me out of her office. "You need to think of yourself as a car or an airplane, you need to protect yourself from accidental injury — it's called A.D.&D insurance, which covers death and disintegration — and you need a liability insurance in case you cause someone else a loss." The most important part is assessing the risk, and we'll give the insurance company some tips. She operated the keyboard, "I'm sending you the application form. ”
In fact, apart from filling out the form, nothing seems to be progressing—as if a new hole has been chiseled into the small bowl of time.
But that's also good. The older I get, the more I admire the behind-the-scenes work that keeps things in order. Growing up, no one told me that in addition to having a stable job, we had to embrace this secretly managed lifestyle. I can't believe that I've lived in such a wonderful world for so many years, where I haven't thought about ventilation issues, the health and solidity of the network environment, wooden regulation, laws, credit ratings, automatic repayment dates, storage space, and propane.
When I got home, I ate a chocolate peanut cream ice cream. I burned all those calories in the bathroom, and then I went back to bed to fill out the questionnaire. While Wiki and Molly play with paper cuts in the bedroom with little yellow scissors.
Please describe what activities are covered by the insurance you want to cover, especially the scope of the activities, including frequency, location, and level of safety. State the experience or certification.
Let's say I can hang around. But why do I do this on Earth? Who knows how long I'll be in the air? And wind, rain, light, rays and cold air? What should I wear? What about my glasses? And drones, airplanes, power generation windmills, wires, chimneys, and poles? In general, any city is a journey of death. If in the countryside, everyone would lock in and load, and they would shoot everything that moved in the sky. Millions of ducks and turkeys were beaten down, and I could only fly at night like an owl. No: I only need emergency and involuntary flight insurance. Who knows what will happen next? I could fall off the plane, I might get stuck in a fire or escape from a high tide. Even, to be more extreme, I flew only as a last resort. Parachutes have been invented, we have fire escape exits, flood warnings and evacuation plans, and we have disaster prevention measures. The great war is not a contest of good and evil, but a game between major dangers and agreements.
I stood in the bedroom doorway and asked, "Hey, Molly. What would you do if you could fly? ”
Molly was still preoccupied with her own business. Even a five-year-old would think the problem is ridiculous. She said, "I want to fly to pasta. ”
I said, "What else?" "I'm sure she knows something I don't know.
Molly said to her mom, "I'll fly to you again." ”
After a day or two, the office will have a meeting. The purpose of the meeting was to review the annual report drafted. I myself was asked to be there, and the CEO was also present. I was very excited about this kind of big scene, after all, I hadn't encountered it in a long time since I joined the team. I dressed up a bit, and the belt was too long for me now, making me look like a teenager. I had to put another hole in the strap to adjust. Wiki said, "Why don't you wear that blue sweater, you'll look taller that way." I can't say why, but it does make you taller. ”
The meeting went well. "I don't understand what 'fast feedback path' means," the CEO said, "but I love it." "Everyone was laughing, and I was waiting for someone to be able to praise me, but it wasn't. In fact, I was relieved that I had not been mentioned or called at all.
Afterwards, I went to the balcony with Valerie Acevedo and Alexis Chan to smoke, they were my colleagues and funny. I don't smoke, but I go home immediately after the meeting, which is likely to leave an impression of being misunderstood. It was snowing on the balcony on the thirty-second floor, and as the sun receded, the glittering tower across the street was crowded with workers in white shirts.
"That place needs it most," said Alexis, "is the Acapulco chair." ”
Valerie asked, "What kind of chairs are they?" ”
"You know — it's made of stretchy vinyl rope, used exclusively for outdoor use, hence the name 'Acapulco.'"
I laughed out loud, "Wait — is that what's the name 'Acapulco'?" ”
Alexis continued to chat with Valerie, "How was last night?" ”
"Interesting, good." Valerie replied.
Alexis made a gesture of listening.
Valerie was suddenly intrigued, and she said, "It feels like I'm a restaurant, and he likes me as much as he likes a restaurant, like, 'It feels good, I should come again.'" ’”
Alexis hurriedly said, "'The red braised calf knuckle must be great. ’”
The two of them laughed and smoked e-cigarettes. I let out a similar laugh, but it was mild. I don't really like this kind of chat, I don't know anything about the conversation. What surprised me was that they would talk about this kind of thing, because I felt that if men were present, this kind of topic would be more constrained. Maybe in my absence, the unspoken rules of the company's jokes have long since changed.
Alexis continued, "And then? ”
Valerie replied, "Well, it's sweet. He's the kind of person who... People who pay attention to detail. If you were to use a popular phrase, what would that word say? It's a craftsman. ”
Alexis said, "Oh, craft winemakers of that kind, professional but traditional. I remain neutral on this and do not express my views. ”
Valerie paused like a comedian, then continued dryly, "But I haven't seen that man thing in a long time. The two women burst out laughing.
How stupid I was at this moment, I focused my focus on my knees, and then from not far from them, I took off to three feet above the ground and drifted backwards into the building. I looked at them for a moment, and they continued to talk in a foggy manner. They didn't find (I'm fairly objective) the most bizarre scene in human history.
(This article is an excerpt)
concentrate:
This article was published in the new translation column of Yanhe Magazine in the 2022 issue 1
The pictures in this article are from the Internet