Relatives are like ghosts and gods, only love strangers

I know a person who doesn't have a good relationship with almost all of her relatives, but gets along well with people like colleagues and neighbors.

Today, I once again listened to her talk about the various contradictions between her brothers and sisters, which were actually some trivial accumulations. In her narration, her sister is deeply arrogant and conceited, very pleasing to her parents, but behind her back she sneaks and slips everywhere to squeeze her; her brother is not filial to her parents, busy earning a few stinky money, and the family's affairs only let the daughter-in-law come forward; and her sister-in-law, although she sees everyone smiling and squinting, is certainly not a good one, because she is married and runs to her mother's house all day, "What is not a wolf's heart and dog lungs?" ”。

Later, she talked about how indifferent her parents were to her when she was a child. Although she had a very hard time at that time, she had always been very sensible and bore the most housework, but her parents never praised her, and her brothers and sisters were the most loved.

I usually don't like to talk to others about these chickens and dogs, not to mention the confusing accounts of other people's families! Every time she said it, I could only listen, or pretend to listen.

It was very sad for her, and in those relationships, she seemed really tired. Although she had already left her original family, she still tied herself firmly to it. She should have a lot of resentment towards them, but she did not dare to admit it because of the worldly relationship, so she could only crush those resentments into various trivial matters related to them, and then tell them to others one by one.

Not only the original family, but also the new family she formed seems to continue this pattern - the mother-in-law is not kind, the concubine is not harmonious.

Because she gets along with her relatives, she seems to only have this mode: paying labor and paying money; refusing to accept feedback from others, not communicating when there are differences; accumulating opinions about others until they accumulate into resentment and choose the opportunity to explode. In those contradictions, she is always the one who pays, always she is reasonable— a lot of reason. But what is the use of reason? Make yourself feel more wronged?

I didn't hear her praise any family member, but I often heard her praise others with praise, such as how cheerful and generous a certain neighbor was, and how sensible and enthusiastic a colleague was. Even the strange little girl who walked down the street and asked her for directions, turned around and she would praise others for their gentle smiles. She is also very sincere with these people, her words are affectionate, she will be eager to help others when they encounter difficulties, and she is also very considerate of mistakes.

But she and they couldn't become close friends. She had no friends, only hated family, and many, many admiring strangers.