Zhang Liuliu and her mother provided a picture by the interviewee
The author | Yin Haiyue
Editor| Chen Zhuo
Over the past two years, Zhang Liuliu has witnessed the collapse of her mother's body: she first had weak upper limbs, could not lift heavy objects, and then could not even tie her head rope. She walked more and more like an elderly person, and later, she could not get up and walk independently, and she could not speak clearly.
At first, the family thought her weakness was due to overwork, until April 2020, when her mother was diagnosed with frostbite. Prior to this, Zhang Liuliu did not know much about this disease. After his mother was diagnosed, he learned that it meant that in the next 3 to 5 years, his mother's body would be "frozen" little by little, until "only the eyes can blink", and finally, because of respiratory failure. That year, her mother, Zhang Yuhong, was not yet 50 years old.
The young man, a junior at Nanjing Forestry University, realized that "every separation from his mother could become a farewell."
In addition to taking care of his mother, he began to "seize the time to record the moments with his mother", when his mother sat on a chair and swayed from side to side, when he pushed his wheelchair to take his mother out to bask in the sun, and every time he made a WeChat video with his mother, he saved a screenshot of his mother's "smiling the best look".
At the end of 2021, Zhang Liuliu cut a video recording her mother's life at school into a video. In the video, he wears a pair of glasses, Sven, and always has a smile on his white face. The video is 8 minutes and 20 seconds long, and this number is Mom's lunar birthday.
The video was played more than 1.5 million times on station B, and more than 5,000 people left messages. People interpret "courage, hope, optimism, heroism" from this video and share their stories at the bottom of the screen. Zhang Liuliu liked almost every comment and left a message to a netizen, "Life is precious and cannot be wasted."
He admits to having "suffered the beatings of life," but still feels that "21 is my golden age."
1
In early January, Zhang Liuliu returned to his home in Yancheng, Jiangsu Province, during the winter vacation. During the day, the nurse takes care of his mother, and after 6 p.m., his time belongs to his mother. First, he fed his mother, because her chewing function was weakened, and it took thirty or forty minutes to eat a meal, and he had to heat up three or four times in the middle. After eating, mom had crumbs in her mouth, and he cleaned it up with a toothbrush and then helped her rinse her mouth.
After the meal, he and his father carried his mother to the toilet, fed his mother Chinese medicine, and helped her clean up the phlegm in her mouth. After that, every ten minutes, he pulled his mother up and helped her walk around the house.
At 9 p.m., it's time for a massage. It usually takes twenty or thirty minutes to press, and then, he opens the electric blanket, adjusts the temperature, carries his mother to bed, helps her adjust her sleeping position, and is busy, it is already 10 o'clock at night.
In two years, Zhang Liuliu watched her mother step by step become what she is now. In January 2020, when he was on winter vacation, his mother came to pick him up at the train station with a smile on his face and looked no different from a normal person.
Later, he realized that it was the first time his mother had picked him up from college and brought him home, and the last time.
The signs are emerging from the summer of 2019. Zhang Liuliu's aunt noticed that her sister always said that she was not energetic, that she could not lift her hands when stir-frying, and that cutting vegetables was also very slow.
At the beginning of 2020, after Zhang Liuliu returned home, she found that her mother was always weak, her arms could not be lifted, she could not tie braids, sometimes she rode an electric car, and as soon as the car shook, people fell. At first, Zhang Yuhong thought it was cervical spondylosis and went to a third-class hospital in Yancheng to see a doctor, there was no problem.
In April 2020, seeing that the symptoms did not improve, Zhang Liuliu accompanied her mother to a hospital in Shanghai to see a doctor, and found out that it was frostbite. Both mother and son did not believe it, and hung up a "special needs of experts" again, and the result was still frostbite.
At first, both of them held out hopes, thinking that as long as they cooperated with treatment, they could slow down the onset of the disease. Mom always said to him, "Everything will be fine."
But as time went on, Mom began to be unable to cook, wash clothes, and speak indistinctly. Because of the epidemic, Zhang Liuliu did not go to school for more than half a year, while taking online classes at home, while accompanying her mother.
During that time, there was no nurse at home, and dad rarely came home, he took care of his mother all day, boiling Chinese medicine for his mother twice a day, boiling once for two or three hours, checking every twenty or thirty minutes. In August 2020, Zhang Liuliu realized that her mother walked like an elderly person and could not step on an electric car.
In order to delay the atrophy of the body, Zhang Liuliu often massaged her mother. Before my mother fell ill, she taught herself accounting and kept accounts for the bank. After getting sick, her mother could not type the keyboard, and when Zhang Liuliu did not take online classes, she made a form under the guidance of her mother.
Zhang Liuliu said that it was a very hard time. In a year, he lost 16 pounds and had a lot of white hair on his head.
The illness not only robbed his mother of his health, but also deprived him of time for social interaction and entertainment.
Friends told him to hang out, but he often refused on the grounds of taking care of his mother, and only went out once or twice. He loves video writing, and had planned to switch from a finance major to a radio and television major in his sophomore year, but he was also shelved because of his mother's illness.
Mom was almost all he was, and before that, he was all he was. Zhang Liuliu said that over the years, her mother has almost no life of her own, usually not studying, or cleaning at home, not watching TV dramas, not brushing vibrato, not buying skin care products, and rarely buying new clothes at home.
Her only hobby is reading, mostly in the educational category. In the past, every year on his birthday, his mother gave him gifts of books and a recharge card from Xinhua Bookstore. The year Mo Yan won the Nobel Prize, his mother bought a copy of "Frog" for him, but in fact, his mother did not know Mo Yan, "her love is sometimes very clumsy."
Zhang Liuliu rarely talks to friends about her mother's condition, believing that talking "cannot solve the problem" . Sometimes bored at home, he played a game of "troubleshooting" for an hour or two at night, or played the harmonica for ten minutes, and played piano music for a while while practicing walking with his mother.
He rarely saw his mother's vulnerable side. After he went to school, grandma took care of her mother. Once, when the family was eating, Zhang Yuhong ate and shed tears, saying that everyone was fine and she still needed someone to take care of her.
In October 2020, Zhang Liuliu went to school. At that time, my mother needed two hands to support the armrest when she went downstairs, one step after another, and fell without paying attention. She can't use chopsticks, but she can go to the toilet alone and walk.
At that time, Zhang Liuliu did not realize how quickly the frostbite destroyed her mother's body. Three months later, he returned home to find that his mother could no longer get up and walk independently, and talked in tandem.
2
Zhang Liuliu described how she felt when she saw her mother, "suddenly with a sense of urgency and loss."
He was once again a nurse for his mother, "with a more positive mindset than ever." When he helped his mother walk, he and his mother came face to face, let her hands on his waist, she took a step forward, he took a step back, it took 1 minute to walk 1 meter.
Over time, he became familiar with his mother's behavioral language: a glance at the eyes, wanting to drink water. I shook my head as I sat, thinking of an activity.
One night, he helped his mother from the living room to the room, which had no lights on and was dark. The two sat on the edge of the bed to rest, and saw the living room of the people in the opposite building, the family of four was at home, and the mother stared at the opposite side and said, "You see, my daughter is back from vacation." The little one ran around on the ground. That's great. After saying that, he stared at the window for a long time, and his face revealed envy and longing.
Zhang Liuliu helps her mother walk Gu Xinyi/Photo
This scene was all looked at by Zhang Liuliu. He did not speak, but also stared at the opposite side, the more he looked at it, the more sad he felt, thinking that his mother was "kind and beautiful", but she was seriously ill, and could no longer get such a "simple happiness", "There are two worlds on both sides of the window." ”
That winter, he really felt the ruthlessness and cruelty of alzheimer's disease, "Mom changed every month, today you find that she can't seem to go, after a while you find that she has to be bedridden, and after a while, you find that she has difficulty breathing." 」 ”
The image was his way of keeping his mother. As early as when his mother was diagnosed, he began to record, the first video is his mother told him to get up, saw his mother swinging her arms, moving her body, he thought it was cute and filmed it. He also photographed his mother basking in the sun by the window, eating burnt cakes, and exercising, all of which were "happy and meaningful moments."
In addition to recording his mother, he felt that her mother was "helplessly confined to the house all day long" and "wanted to give her some different feelings." His way seemed innocent and sincere, washing clothes in front of his mother, unspacking couriers, installing table lamps, buying different colors of clothes for his mother to wear, buying movie posters to show to his mother, sitting in the courtyard and playing guitar for her.
Of all the things he did with his mother, the most romantic one he felt was to carry her to a chair by the window and accompany her to look at the blue sky and white clouds outside the window.
Thinking that he had never traveled with his mother, he felt sorry and wrote on Weibo, "I want to bring the world to you." Every time he went to a place to take the exam, he shared with his mother what friends he had met and what kind of life they were living.
After returning to school, he took IELTS, Level 6, and Computer Level 2. Every time he took the exam, he set the test center in other cities to "experience the customs and customs of different cities", he went to Wuhan, Changsha, Chongqing, Suzhou, the longest journey, took a 25-hour green train.
He had been worried about his mother. At school, what I ate for breakfast, how much money I spent, what books I went to the library to read, "I shared with her no matter how big or small it was." He videotaped with his mom every night about what he had done today and saved pictures of him chatting with her.
Once a month, he came home and gave his mother longevity flowers, grip balls, socks and other small gifts. He still notices the passage of his mother's life, most notably walking, "steps getting smaller and smaller, feet lifted lower and lower." ”
Because Zhang Yuhong's condition is getting worse and worse, in May 2021, the family hired a nurse to take care of her during the day. At night, the family took care of Zhang Yuhong.
In October 2021, Zhang Liuliu went home to celebrate her mother's birthday and bought a birthday cake with the words "The best mother in the world", at that time, her mother could not even blow the candle. At the end of the month, he studied in the school library and gave his mother a hug expression, and her mother replied to give him a hug. A week later, he learned that it was his mother knocking out with the knuckles of one hand, the last message she could send herself.
Later, her mother went to the hospital for treatment, Zhang Liuliu was always worried that her mother would not be able to walk, and carefully asked, Did you stand up today?
When he came home from winter vacation this year, he found that his mother could still walk, and he was "very happy in his heart." At this time, her mother walked 1 meter for more than 2 minutes, but Zhang Liuliu felt that as long as her mother could walk, it meant that she had "not lost her mobility yet."
3
At the end of 2021, with the encouragement of friends, Zhang Liuliu decided to create a video to commemorate the 21st year old. He thought that his mother would not appear in the video, but then he felt, "This is my real and complete 21 years old." ”
The mom in the video is always laughing. He said that after his mother fell ill, he only did one thing a day, "to make her happy every day." "He cut the moments of research, travel, and getting along with his mother into the video, accompanied by cheerful music.
After cutting, he did not send it to his mother, "I am afraid that my mother will be sad after seeing it, and I will be at school by myself, and I will not be able to comfort her." A few days later, the video was on the hot search, and the relatives saw it and transferred it to their mother, and the mother saw it.
He showed his mother news reports about him and told her, "The report is a recognition of you, we all know that you have a good education for your son, and you are a good mother." Hearing this, my mother cried. Some reports wrote the words "sooner or later, I can't act", and when he showed it to his mother, he quickly slid through.
After the video was released, many people shared their experiences with him, saying that they were touched by his attitude towards life, and the bullet screen of "cheering together" occupied the screen.
After the mother fell ill, the family's savings were gradually drained, to rely on relatives to help, some netizens private message Zhang Liuliu, want to donate to him, Zhang Liuliu declined, "can not accept other people's things casually." He also refused an offer from a company to prepare for graduate school, and went to a tv station for internship, directing dramas, and reading academic books.
The sudden social goodwill made him "sincerely afraid", but more than that, he was moved, and he excitedly said to his friends, "I must change society and dedicate myself to China's cultural cause."
He wanted to make a film of popular science frostbite, "so that more people can understand the group of frostbite patients." "A longer dream is to make a movie and tell my mother's story to more people."
Many people asked him what sustained him through these two years. He always said that it was his mother's love. Previously, he attended a private high school in Yancheng, and his mother went to accompany him. During that time, my mother had no job, working as a cleaner at school during the day, teaching herself accounting at night, and later starting to do accounts for the bank.
Every night, he came home from school with meals on the table. Once, her mother's right hand had a tendon sheath cyst and she had to do housework, and Zhang Liuliu was very distressed, but her mother insisted on using her left hand to make him dinner.
Mom never made him feel pressure. When he was in high school, he was unable to adjust to school life for a while, and he came home in a depressed mood. Mom communicated with him by writing small notes.
"Dear son, my mother was sick again last night, and my mother can't remember to control it when she is busy, I'm really sorry." I'm going to make corrections in the future and try not to be wordy, okay? "Mom and Dad love you very much, don't doubt your ability, have confidence." "If you have anything unhappy, you can always tell your mother, and your mother is willing to listen."
Even if he is sick, his mother brings him "positive feedback", praising him for making delicious food and pounding his legs well. He remembered that once during a nap, he vaguely heard the sound of "humming haha" coming from his mother's house, he thought his mother was crying, quietly walked to the door to see, and as soon as he pushed the door open, his mother smiled at him.
He had been racing against time to make his mother feel more happy before her body was completely frozen. After the video was released, a photography blogger said he wanted to take a set of photos of his mother. He immediately contacted the blogger and discussed, by matching her mother's clothes, taking pictures of her from 20 to 70 years old, letting her experience each stage of life in advance, "at least 60 years old, she will definitely not be able to pass."
He's still making a surprise for his mom. On the night of January 23, he heard a neighbor setting off fireworks, and he also went to the supermarket to buy a bouquet of fireworks, which were lit on the stair steps facing his mother's window, and the flames from the fireworks splashed into the house, and his grandmother and mother laughed. He replaced the light in his mother's room with "warmer and brighter color" and "let my mother feel good in the room." ”
They are seizing the time to express their love for each other. Two days before the start of the winter vacation in 2021, Zhang Liuliu fed his mother Chinese medicine, and his mother drank two mouthfuls of medicine and said that she would write to him and ask him to write it down on his mobile phone.
It took the mother and son twenty or thirty minutes to complete the oral letter, which was only 16 at first, and then every time he came home, his mother asked him to read it again, and it increased to 19. The letter is all that a mother can think of, from the exhortation of "not staying up late, gambling, and drinking" to the admonition of "being honest, trustworthy, and character first", and she also instructed her son that after starting a family in the future, "education should be put first, and it is better to train children to succeed than to have money."
The first one is, "Mom loves you very much." Before that, love was not a common word in their lives, but after the mother got sick, she sat down and said to him, "I love you." Later, they always say "I love you", at dinner, before going to bed, when chatting. Many of the videos he recorded ended with "I love you."
Zhang Liuliu understood that her mother said these words because she was afraid that "one day she would not be able to say it." He smiled and said to his mother, "I love you too." ”
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Produced by China Youth Daily and China Youth Network