Love is the warmest existence in this world. It gives warmth and strength, allowing one to see a little light even in the darkest places and a little confidence in the lowest valley.
However, love is a double-edged sword, and while loving people, if you are not careful, because you have no control, you will become a weapon to hurt people.
How to love is a lesson that we need to learn throughout our lives.
01
In the hit drama "Little Joy", Song Qian's love for her daughter Qiao Yingzi can be described as meticulous and meticulous, taking care of it meticulously and thoughtfully, so that we who watch in front of the TV set can feel the strong maternal love that comes to us.
But at the same time, her control and suppression of all aspects of Hideko's learning life also makes us feel a kind of suffocation and dullness.
The school has an oath ceremony when the children are in high school, and the last part of the assembly is to let the children write down their wishes on the balloon and release them.
After Ying Zi finished writing her dream, Song Qian had to force her daughter to write a score. Eiko did not want to write, the two argued over this, and as a result, the balloon exploded, and Eiko ran away crying.
Ying Zi attended the space speech, and Song Qian blocked it. If it were not for Ren Weidong's support, Ying Zi's speech would have been adrift; if it were not for Liu Jing greeting Song Qian at work at the Aerospace Museum, Song Qian would probably be desperate to take Ying Zi off the podium.
After eating breakfast, Song Qian will also do it according to her own nutritional standards. For example, eating sea cucumber, rather let Ying Zi swallow raw, dipped in mustard and swallowed. Instead of arranging according to Eiko's favorite taste, such as eating fritters and drinking tofu brain. And the drama is that once Song Qian went to buy fritters, but she found many excuses not to buy them back.
Doesn't Song Qian love Ying Zi? On the contrary, she loves too much, she wants to control everything, she wants to give the best to Hideko.
However, what she gave was not what Hideko wanted, and what she gave bound Hideko.
Ying Zi did not change herself according to Song Qian's request, she carried her mother to her father to fight the space model, and even spared the first class and did not listen to the lecture.
Even if she wanted to apply for the aerospace winter camp, she would rather tell Aunt Liu Jing the secret of her heart than tell her mother.
Love is not right, efforts are in vain. This is the parent-child relationship between many parents and their children in China at this stage.
Parents think that according to their own experience, they can give their children the best guidance, but they ignore that children are independent individuals, and their life perceptions and experiences need their own experiences to enrich and obtain.
02
This is true of parent-child relationships, and the same is true of husband and wife relationships.
Many people think that the most intimate relationship can be careless, and they can control and arrange others at any time.
Some women will check their husbands' mobile phones to see who he is in contact with and whether they have ambiguous information with women.
Regardless of the outcome, this distrust hurts each other's feelings and can greatly dampen each other's self-esteem.
Everyone has their own independent space, and everyone's mind and soul are different and exclusive.
Even the closest lover cannot resonate with himself completely at the same frequency, and he can share his secrets with him.
Rene Liu found her true love when she was nearly 40 years old.
But even if the two of them were out there very tacitly and had a good time, it didn't prevent the two of them from returning home, one to the left and one to the right.
They have their own bedrooms and study rooms, with their own separate personal spaces.
Two people learn to sleep in separate beds, but this does not affect their feelings at all.
Rene Liu said: I enjoy loneliness in the arms of my lover.
Couples are the closest people in the world, but that doesn't mean it's all there.
If you really love each other, you must give the other party enough space to let him have his own independent heart, let him have a strong spiritual power, can control his emotions, and can face the world truthfully and calmly.
It is often seen that some celebrities in the film and television industry entertainment circles have inevitably come to an end to their marriages.
There are many factors in this, but one thing is: you can't give what I need, and what I give you is not what you need. Since you are so unhappy, it is better to break up and find true love and true happiness each.
The marriage of Faye Wong and Li Yapeng has gone through 11 years and has not ended in a hurry. Li Yapeng said: Faye Wong wants a legend, while I want a family.
No matter how strong the love of that year, no matter how sincere the love, can not satisfy each other forever.
When love ceases to be warm and pampered, it becomes a bondage and a shackle.
It is better to let go, to complete each other, to gain freedom, and to find happiness in the future.
03
There is a tv series section: a very enthusiastic female employee, without discrimination, adds nuts to the coffee of her colleagues. As a result, one of the female colleagues was rushed to the hospital for emergency rescue because of her allergy to nuts.
This is typical of thanklessness and hurting others.
Don't speculate on the minds of others according to your own preferences, make decisions for others, and do what others like according to their needs.
Remember when our little kids first learned to walk? Our adults guide their children with full patience and gentle language care, slowly and step by step.
At that time, parents were in accordance with the needs of their children, to their liking, to actively encourage praise, to cheer up their children. Under the correct guidance, the child is very happy to step on his own little feet and walk out steadily step by step.
The starting point of everyone's love is to hope that the other person is good, but the closer the person, the more impatient we will show.
Especially for their children, parents will no longer be gentle because they hate iron and steel, and even look vicious.
They often use the banner of love, but they are doing the opposite thing, screaming at children, and even know that there will be violent acts, which is really coercion and inducement.
We often say that the opposite is the opposite, and why is our educational method and our original intention of education not such a model?
We often say that we love each other wholeheartedly, but we do things that we don't trust each other, and we always want each other to change into what we want.
But true love should be based on the needs of children and lovers themselves, and create conditions for them as much as possible.
Let them give full play to their potential and talents, live the life they want, let them live to be their true selves, give them enough freedom and space, let them grow into what they want to grow.
If you really love someone, you must fulfill their needs in the way that the other person likes.